Cheesy murder mystery novel titles and extreme plot summaries...
#21
(04-16-2018, 07:27 AM)Trix Wrote: “FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH”...

Pawn shop owner takes people in the back and STRAIGHT UP MURDERS their asses when they bring in expensive shit!!!

Banana

“HIGH STEAKS”...

Chef at a ritzy restaurant sells PEOPLE-MEAT STEAKS cut from the murdered fucks in “FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH” OMG WHEN CASTS COLLIDE!!!

...

“WHEN CASTS COLLIDE”...

Warped doctor kidnaps patients, puts them in full body casts, hangs them from the ceiling of a warehouse and crashes them together until they DIEEE!!!

“THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKIN’”...

Shoe designer jilted by lover kidnaps and kills lover and makes A BITCHIN’ PAIR OF ANKLE BOOTIES OUT OF THEIR SKIN!!!

You need bi polar meds.
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#22
“BUTT OF THE JOKE”...

Disgruntled comedian goes around murdering people he sees putting cigarettes out on the sidewalk.


“UNDER THE WEATHER”...

Obese weatherman stalks down and kidnaps attractive women, smothers them in his lard and then buries them in the basement.


“MORE THAN 4 HOURS”...

Woman spikes her dates with mass amounts of erectile dysfunction medication and has sex with them until they die of exploded penis.


“I WANT CANDY”...

Psychotic young man goes around to candy stores making futile efforts to haggle cashiers, stalks cashiers after closing, kidnaps and chokes them to death with chocolate balls (gooey caramel center).


“MUM’S THE WORD”...

Angry 50-something ex-wife kidnaps young new love interest of ex-husband, bribes her to pretend she’s her long lost child, confronts ex-husband claiming it’s their daughter they gave up for adoption, poisons them both over a fancy dinner.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
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#23
(04-16-2018, 09:20 AM)Trix Wrote: “BUTT OF THE JOKE”...

Disgruntled comedian goes around murdering people he sees putting cigarettes out on the sidewalk.


“UNDER THE WEATHER”...

Obese weatherman stalks down and kidnaps attractive women, smothers them in his lard and then buries them in the basement.


“MORE THAN 4 HOURS”...

Woman spikes her dates with mass amounts of erectile dysfunction medication and has sex with them until they die of exploded penis.


“I WANT CANDY”...

Psychotic young man goes around to candy stores making futile efforts to haggle cashiers, stalks cashiers after closing, kidnaps and chokes them to death with chocolate balls (gooey caramel center).


“MUM’S THE WORD”...

Angry 50-something ex-wife kidnaps young new love interest of ex-husband, bribes her to pretend she’s her long lost child, confronts ex-husband claiming it’s their daughter they gave up for adoption, poisons them both over a fancy dinner.

You need bi polar meds
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#24
"YOU NEED BI-POLAR MEDS"...

Crazed Australian doctor dries loads of his sperm mixed with arsenic, bottles them like pills and prescribes them to attractive female patients as a treatment for bi-polar.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
Reply
#25
(04-16-2018, 09:45 AM)Trix Wrote: "YOU NEED BI-POLAR MEDS"...

Crazed Australian doctor dries loads of his sperm mixed with arsenic, bottles them like pills and prescribes them to attractive female patients as a treatment for bi-polar.

Im not aussie im English irish scottish and I need your help.
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#26
(04-16-2018, 09:45 AM)Trix Wrote: "YOU NEED BI-POLAR MEDS"...

Crazed Australian doctor dries loads of his sperm mixed with arsenic, bottles them like pills and prescribes them to attractive female patients as a treatment for bi-polar.

You know how funny that is if it wasnt actually sick?
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#27
YOU NEED MORE HELP THAN I CAN GIVE YOU SONNY.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
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#28
This is the reason I don't like fiction :)
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#29
ROFL
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
Reply
#30
"WORD PLAY"...

Lawyer kills young hopeful stage actress after UNREQUITED LOVE, completely loses mind and shows up to play her part in the show WEARING HER SKIN.


"DOUBLE TRUFFLE"...

Chocolatier is framed by his identical twin brother for the brutal murder of his wife who actually faked her death so that she could come back made over with a new identity and openly be lovers with him. (What?!)


"DOPE DEALER"...

Casino dealer moonlights as drug dealer exclusively selling China White. Pit boss turns out to be customer, plot twist: HE'S AN ALIEN. Dealer wears dope up his ass in a condom, gets abducted and probed by aliens who are curious about the substance. The aliens die upon contact with the massive amount of fentanyl up dealer's ass. Dealer escapes from alien compound northwest of Las Vegas, vows never to sell drugs again. Gets hit by bus. Twice.


"RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE"...

Woman catches man with sexual fetish for cars violently raping her 1961 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz convertible. Feeling the classic car is forever tainted by his sexual attack, she ties him to a tree, dowses herself in lighter fluid, puts a cinderblock on the gas pedal, lights a match and self-immolates in protest of car rapists.


"GREEN WITH ENVY"...

A florist becomes obsessed with a handsome young man who comes in to buy his girlfriend flowers. She uses the delivery address to stalk his girlfriend, only to find that she is cheating. Florist decides to kill the girlfriend and frame her secret lover. All goes awry when just as she's killed the girlfriend in the back yard, she sees the handsome young man and the "secret lover" start up the walkway together holding hands and giggling with each other. Florist flees the scene and they find the girlfriend's body.


"ALL ABOARD"...

Crazed serial killer chooses victims during his day job as a railway ticket collector, mounts people on the walls of his rustic cabin like animal trophies.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
Reply
#31
(04-16-2018, 09:45 AM)Trix Wrote: "YOU NEED BI-POLAR MEDS"...

Crazed Australian doctor dries loads of his sperm mixed with arsenic, bottles them like pills and prescribes them to attractive female patients as a treatment for bi-polar.

the amusing and fucked up part of that is that it would actually work, at least to some extent. semen contains all sorts of chemicals and hormones that the female body is designed to use. some of these she does not produce naturally, yet still needs them.
rhombus will set you free.
“Just look at us. Everything is backwards, everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, psychiatrists destroy minds, scientists destroy truth, major media destroys information, religions destroy spirituality and governments destroy freedom.” ― Michael Ellner
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#32
My love for ingesting sperm makes sense now.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
Reply
#33
(04-16-2018, 05:11 PM)Trix Wrote: "ALL ABOARD"...

Crazed serial killer chooses victims during his day job as a railway ticket collector, mounts people on the walls of his rustic cabin like animal trophies.

I like this one Big Grin
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#34
(04-17-2018, 01:06 AM)Crille Wrote: I like this one Big Grin

They don't have railway ticket collectors anymore its automated they have inspectors perhaps that might do.
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