Vince and Noelle: Van Living, Stealth Camping
Okay this is about 2 YouTubers named Vince and Noelle.

Now I've been watching these fuckers for like a year.

And LOL. Can I just say... LOL.

They've been married for years. So Vince is like HARDCORE in love with Noelle... like OBSESSED. They used to live in a house, but they sold it years back, bought a school bus, lived in that shit for a while, then they bought a Sprinter van and that's what they live in now.

Last year in Feb., Noelle dumped Vince. She said he was smothering her, she couldn't handle it anymore, etc. So she took the Sprinter van and he got another van and they went their separate ways.

They "CONSCIOUSLY UNCOUPLED" as Noelle liked to call it. Here's the video:

Just skip to 19:04 and let the look on Vince's face and his entire countenance do the talking. ROFL!

So then they went their separate ways in Feb., but unfortunately they still talked on the phone and of course they got together again in April.

Here's the LOLz:

So apparently like... Vince was what Noelle wanted the whole time and she just couldn't see it because he was always there. ROFLROFLROFL!!!!!!!!!!

More like Vince is the ego boost of an entire fan club, and it's hard to make it in life without that... especially when you live in a van. But anyways...

Noelle and Vince have an online business, which is Noelle and her books and inspirational speaking. So they rely heavily on social media for action. It's their entire lifeblood. Well they decided to ditch social media and YouTube and take a break. They have barely been posting to YouTube at all.

Here's a more recent video from Vince wherein he's discussing the differences between living in a building and living in a van... comin' at you from Noelle's parents' basement:

In that video, he discussed how he and Noelle do naked yoga in her parents' basement and how he doesn't like living in a building as much because Noelle isn't in the same room with him all the time and he never knows when she's having a bowel movement. I'm serious.

Since they got back together, Noelle has talked about how she likes to leave the van and go to Starbucks to get away from Vince, and how it's nice that Vince has a job so they're not together all the time. But then Vince QUITS his job so they can focus on Noelle's business, but then they DUCK OUT OF YOUTUBE and now all that's happening is Vince is smothering the shit out of Noelle probably worse than ever.

So fast forward to his newest video...

It's called...




Noelle is tired of being with me all the time and she suggested I go hiking with a backpack and "stealth camp" somewhere else.

I mean I can just imagine how this went down. 

Noelle: "Hey honey, I just got this amazing idea! How about you make a YouTube video demonstrating your ability to STEALTH CAMP!"

Vince: "Oh! ... *awkward silence* ... What's stealth camp?"

Noelle: "Well, it's where you take your backpack and go camping somewhere far away from the van! I bet it'll be huge on YouTube!"

I haven't even watched the video yet.

I guess I should do that. I just watched the first 30 seconds, busted out laughing when I realized what was going on and I decided I had to make this thread.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.


"Have a great night babe!" says Noelle with that "just get the fuck out of here already" tone of voice. ROFLMAO. Noelle's looking good as fuck though... she's got that JF'd hairdo going on.

They're parked at WalMart...

"Alright, bye WalMart, gonna go for a little walk!" Vince says, trying to sound like this was his idea or that he even kind of wants to do it a little bit.

Epic fucking gold... these two are epic gold. They really need to make videos more. They just can't stand the trolls and how hardcore they are, so they disable rating and stuff.

LMFAO Vince has his backpack strapped onto his head. This is just fucking hilarious.

So Vince's words about this are already negative... talking about what he doesn't like (backpack weight on his shoulders) as he's walking down a busy highway after essentially being kicked out of the van by Noelle who's told him to record his experience for YouTube as a total excuse for why she wanted him to GTFO in the first place.

He's just scoping out woods in the CITY LIMITS. There are other homeless people in these woods. This shit looks late in the day too, like the sun is looking kind of low. What the fuck. It's like Noelle kicked him out with no notice.

Now Vince is under a fucking UNDERPASS with graffiti all over it talking about how it would be a good place to camp. He's literally being a homeless vagrant right now. Like WTF. And why couldn't Noelle drop him off in the real woods somewhere if it was really a test to see what camping without a van is like. Why would she just make him walk FROM WalMart??? LOLOL.

I think Vince is either in total denial about what Noelle is doing to him or he really is just extremely naive.

You can tell by the tone of his voice and everything he's saying that he thinks this is a lousy fucking idea and he totally hates it. LMFAOLOLOL.

Noelle must have been sooo desperate to come up with something like this. And all for one night of relief from Vince? Apparently they cuddle hardcore while they're sleeping too, Noelle and Vince have both talked about how he holds on and won't let go. ROFL!!!

If I was Noelle, I'd just line up another dude who has a fucking house. I mean she's a really good looking chick. It would be sooo easy for her. Like, WTF is she doing.

His tone of voice in this video is hilarious. What he's doing is SO FUCKING DANGEROUS!!!

Noelle... I mean... why put him into a dangerous position like that?? Just leave the fucking guy instead of making him do weird shit like this just so you can get away from him for ONE night.


WHAT THE FUCKKK?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Dude... Noelle is so gonna leave this guy. In like 2.5 weeks. She will be so gone. She's so gone.

Camping under a tree for a night, setting up shop before it's even dark... how fucking depressing. ROFL. This video and the whole situation is just depressing as fuck. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man oh man oh man oh man.

"Left over potato chips" for a snack. Literally that's it. Just potato chips. That's all.


He's sleeping in a fucking SACK.

Noelle sent Vince out in the MIDDLE OF A CITY to find a sparse patch of WOODS with highways on either side to SLEEP IN A FUCKING BAG.


He's gonna put the rest into a part 2. He always does that.

These two.

I really do think they should get a divorce prettymuch immediately, but until then, they need to start posting videos way more often because ROFL.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.

It's actually kind of sad because you can tell Vince is a good dude, I mean he's nice and innocent in some weird kinda way. It just sucks because Noelle is totally sick and tired of him and sent him out on this wild goose chase. Sent him out to "camp" in the woods behind a grocery store in the middle of a city. Facepalm.

Instead of having him do dangerous shit like this, she should just leave him. She should just get him to drop her off at her parents' house or some shit and just take the van and go. Just go, just fucking go, LOL.

The mistake she shouldn't make again is talking on the phone with him. He'll just bait her back in like he did last time.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.


Noelle's in Minnesota (color me shocked), and Vince is now living in the van ("his home") down south.

Noelle did the right thing and just cut the fucker loose! Muwahahahahahaha!!!

Am I psychic?

Well, yes but...

It doesn't take a clairvoyant rocket scientist to see these things coming from a mile away.

Noelle is a good looking bitch... she's a fine piece of meat, I gotta say. I like her type... nice long well maintained hair, glowy delicious looking skin, manageable lil titties, nice slender body. Yeah, she's a quality broad.

She made the right choice.

I personally think she does say a lot of interesting stuff and has a good perspective on things.

She says some pretty chilling shit about being sexually abused by a pastor in this vid. I've heard her story about that before. But I really do think she's made leaps and bounds of development and progress... she's got a good outlook. I don't totally agree with her, but I do find her useful.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
Only thing I was wrong about was 2.5 weeks...

It took 8 days according to video upload dates.

Was probably about 12 days in reality because he didn't upload those videos immediately...

Probably wasn't over 2 weeks though.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
But maybe it was.

Either way, Noelle, call me baby!!!


God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
Is it possible to get the heebie jeebies in a non-negative way?

I dig Noelle...

Need a lil more talky though. She has a lovely voice and good piano skills, but I wanna hear about what this bitch is up to.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
It's not true love if there is no axe throwing/dodging when breaking up!
Oh she DID put up a talking video 4 days ago and I missed it!!!

Oh fuck I'm so excited, fuck fuck FUCK!!!

Wonder what she's gonna say!?

34 minutes?! FUCK YEAAAH!!!

I'm a freak.

Giant Banana

*grabs popcorn*
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
(02-27-2017, 09:28 PM)Simurgh Wrote: It's not true love if there is no axe throwing/dodging when breaking up!

I doubt they even had an ax in the Sprinter van bro...

I used to carry a miniature ax around in my car. I decided it was too dangerous though, so now I only have a miniature sledge hammer.

And a regular hammer.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
LOL watching Noelle just cracks me the fuck up...

Not because I don't think she's awesome. I think she's amazing. But I dunno, for some reason it's just hilarious.

At 15:00, Noelle starts talking about deciding to 'pull away' from Vince slowly... whilst living in a van. She says she'd leave the van during the day to get away from him. Starbucks, the park, etc. She'd go and journal about how suffocated she felt.

She's sooo fucking happy to be living in her parents' basement right now. She's got at least an entire room! I'm so happy for this chick, this is awesome... LOL.

21:25 AHA... Noelle starts talking about how she needed to spend NIGHTS alone in the van. So essentially it was her idea, but she says Vince mentioned it first. But really he just knew she wanted to get the fuck away from him so he was like okay fine, I'll "STEALTH CAMP'... ROFL!

At 24:00 the night Vince went stealth camping, she said she talked to her mom who invited her to come stay with her. She said her mom was like, "There's a really cheap one way ticket!" Like, WTF, was her mom looking that shit up on the internet while they were talking?? Did she already know about the ticket?? Did she just make up the cheap part after deciding that she was just gonna get Noelle to come home?? You KNOW Noelle's parents probably fucking hated the idea of her living in a van in the first damn place. I just wonder why she didn't go back there sooner?? It's not like they're gonna kick Noelle out of the basement. It must have been a pride thing with Noelle.

Noelle is right about shit though... she's right about life.

At 27:00 she starts playing notes on the keyboard while she's reading her journal entry.

I love this bitch... fuck it all, I totally love her. I can't even lie.

At 29:00 she starts playing her new song. LOL... ah man.

Thank you internet. Thank you for Noelle.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
(02-28-2017, 04:10 PM)Trix Wrote:
(02-27-2017, 09:28 PM)Simurgh Wrote: It's not true love if there is no axe throwing/dodging when breaking up!

I doubt they even had an ax in the Sprinter van bro...

I used to carry a miniature ax around in my car. I decided it was too dangerous though, so now I only have a miniature sledge hammer.

And a regular hammer.

Always wanted to give advice about love, so here it is
(Perfectly legal everywhere and must-have in the car anyway):  

Telescoping Lug Wrench in stronger hand, Scissor Jack Folding Handle in the other.

Dress in pink for stronger effect.

Photo op.


Oh I know dude... I've been planning a hammer/sledgehammer photoshoot for a long time.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.

Noelle touching me all deep and shit with this new video.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.


Noelle is ALREADY feeling like she 'loves Vince again'.

Their SEVENTH breakup in EIGHT years.

Averages like 1 break up a year LOL.

I LOVE Noelle, I think she's beautiful and entertaining and talented and has some really great esoteric type of wisdom.


She's a victim of cycles and not understanding illusions.

She only wants Vince back because he seems to be 'detached' from her now. He does this every time because he's learned that's how to get her back.

It's such a fucking weird interaction between these two. WTF. Fuck relationships man.


In no way am I surprised and I give it like ... 1.5 months tops before Noelle is publicly back with Vince. That's probably a way over estimated timeframe too.

I think they'll be living in an apartment this time though.

We'll see.

I agree with Noelle's philosophy in that video though (as usual)...

What she says is totally valid even though she's caught in this crazy cycle with Vince, that's just some weird unrelated karma thingy.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.













God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
She said Vince is "so excited for her"...


They talk every day. Apparently.

I bet he cries after they get off the phone.

Vince must have a fat dick or something... I can't see any other reason why she has such a hard time letting him go.

Noelle is crying and talking about talking to herself in this video, LOL.

I love Noelle, don't misunderstand it, I ain't hatin'.

But if I was the new guy watching this, having never seen her Coffee Time vids before (so he said), then...

I'd be like uhhhmmm.

I dunnooo.

God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
It's interesting because Noelle in her previous vids is always talking about how she wants a big following and whatnot...

Which on one hand it's fine to be honest about it...

But on the other hand, when you WANT that, and especially if you go around talking about it and stuff...

I dunno, it usually never happens.

So in this vid, Noelle says that now she doesn't feel like she needs that big following anymore, like she still wants it, but she says it's "different now".

I think that desire in Noelle comes from needing like a bunch of attention.

It's not surprising, I mean pretty chicks usually do want attention and stuff, and I'm not saying they shouldn't have it but...

Realistically, now Noelle not only has the one man fan club of Vince who she'll no doubt continue talking to every day, but she's also got this new dude on the line. So she's feeling pretty satiated... her attention needs are probably pretty met right now and that's why her desire to have a 'huge audience' has 'changed'.

Basic psychology really.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.


You can hear the sex in Noelle's voice!!! I bet she's been playing hide the sausage with her new love interest!!!
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.
What the fuck?? Noelle says she feels "shaky, freaked out and vulnerable?!"

Is it because of her new online love interest!? What's going on?!

Those are some really tacky as fuck looking fake flowers to the right, like damn.

"Adventures are dangerous, they don't feel safe"... Ummm, actually that's not true Noelle. If this person you're talking to is giving you this feeling then they're probably a psycho. Trust your gut, you're not an idiot.

Oh and now she's calling the new guy her "dream guy". I'd really like to fuckin' know what constitutes a "dream guy" for Noelle...


Like... I'm sorry Noelle, but when you find somebody who's your "dream guy" and is so "great", no actually, you don't have days where you feel scared or like you're not ready. Hell in fact I would say it's just the opposite. By natural design, even. Your new love interest will be overly idealized and give you nothing but a desire to be together ASAP (for reproduction). That's basically science bitch.

So I dunno what the hell Noelle has gotten herself in the middle of, or what kind of manipulation she's falling prey to... but there have been indicators of suspicion about this new guy from some of Noelle's viewers before she ever even publicly mentioned him.

Am I saying she should go back to Vince? Man fuck no. I think Noelle needs to learn to be ALONE. Because whatever she's headed into now sounds like a continuation of some karma BS. And by being single right now, she's got a CHANCE to turn over a new leaf. It seems almost like this new guy is... trying to be a bigger, faster, more powerful karma lesson for Noelle. Like, if she didn't learn from Vince, she's gonna learn from this guy type deal. Which is so pointless when she could just learn to be alone, NOW.

And now Noelle is talking about wanting to sing in front of millions of people and "hear her voice" reverberating through the stadium. Again it's like, cheers to her for being honest... but I just think like, that's an unhealthy obsession she's got there. It seems kinda like it comes from the wrong place. Or just a place of... damn near narcissism. It sounds like she wants to hear her own voice and know those millions are hearing her voice, rather than deeply impact them with whatever the message is. Rather than for them to hear it for their own sake.

See I just disagree with her... I've had a lot of hopes/dreams materialize and it was never "scary". Why does she insist on this? Is it her intuition? Is she just a pussy? What's going on here?

It's like she uses these totally inaccurate words and then she turns around and says something I totally agree with. I kinda wanna slap her.

Man the more she talks about it the more it's sounding like another bizarre as fuck needy relationship.

Why haven't they MET yet if they think this is right or good? You gotta meet casually and just see if it feels even remotely doable. You risk wasting time talking to somebody you don't even like in person.

Noelle is great, she's pretty, I like her, she's got good insights. I just hope her gargantuan neediness doesn't lead her into more karma BS with this new guy.
God made me funky...
And I'm glad He blessed me that way.

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