(04-12-2023, 03:50 PM)user328 Wrote: [ -> ]Take two long pieces of clear packing tape. Stick one end of each piece of tape to one of your butt cheeks. Have a friend stick the other end of each piece of tape to a solid object. That should spread your cheeks far enough apart to let the golden rays of sunlight reach the inner recesses of your crack.
By the way, allow me to volunteer to be the friend who tapes your buns apart. 
YOU'RE HIRED
IT'S NO PAY
BUT COME ON
YOU WANNA TAPE MY BUNS
YOU GET TO TAPE MY BUNS
An unpaid apprenticeship will be fine. Who knows, I may gain enough valuable experience to parlay this opportunity into a career.
This thread gets a lot of search engine traffic...
If anyone comes to this part of the thread, I assure you it would benefit you to read those other threads and get a grasp on how important the sun actually is to you.
You were led here by your buttcrack...
Further on down the path lies true enlightenment.
Buddha in your butt, ladies and gentlemen.
I think the human brain is a cauliflower, to be honest.
Whichever plant (or fungus) it is...
The bottom line is that it grew an outer shell (skeleton) and an interfacing organ over top of it (skin) with an antenna array attached to it (hair) and it STARTED WALKING AROUNDDDDD.
Sounds like the plot of a low budget 1950s sci fi movie.
To be fair, some of those cheesy 1940s-50s low budget horrors actually disclosed a lot of truth.
I mean, what better way to disseminate some dangerous truth than to put it into a format that is immediately not taken seriously whatsoever?
Which of us gets to play the scantily clad scientist's daughter marooned on a lost world?
I'm voting for you in that role.
That character needs sizeable tits.
(04-12-2023, 04:27 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: [ -> ]That character needs sizeable tits.
Okay. But only if I can get them done in Russia. American falsies look ridiculous.
I'm actually not all that concerned with tanning the buttcrack, just to clarify...
I mean, it was a funny concept (to me) BUTT, I'm not that invested in it.
For me, this whole thing is about exchanging commune with the sun...
I'm not even into the idea of tanning, I really just want to get enough weekly to meet health needs.
Now that I've been basking in Sol's illumination whenever the weather permits for a while...
I realize that having concern about the buttcrack tan was a pretty noob mindset.