SECTUAL

WARNING: SPOILERS. HAPPENING. BELOW. DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.



This shit is long as fuck and I doubt I'll ever watch it all, but I'll give my review of what I do watch.

1:13 I've seen a lot of imagery of and talk about crows recently.

I've never seen this movie as far as I can remember, I was too young when it came out.

2:00 containment breach. OMG!

2:40 OMG dude this is scary. He had to run and go save his family first. Wooowwww dude... this is crazy!

Holy shit dude... this is crazy.

3:20 lmfao hysterical bitches.

3:39 LMAO OMG he destroyed the gate... he's the one who unleashed this shit on the world. Because that flimsy AF little gate was definitely gonna stop it all anyways but... yeah.

4:20 that imagery though... wwwwwoooooowwwwwww. This is some good shit damn! Looks like a fast AF death.

5:28 wow this movie is fucking great dude.

6:15 I think it's kinda dumb to believe Stephen King really wrote all these stories.

7:08 God dang, Gary Sinise was fine as hell.

7:50 wow dude this shit is OFF the hook. How in the fuck they be dead though?! They were nowhere near where the containment breach was. And they've been driving too long. It was way more fast acting than that.

This movie is a fuckin' trip though.

8:50 I feel bad for Gary Sinise's character. He has no idea the guy's dying for another reason that's like way worse.

Oh I think I get it... the other people were a lot closer to it and that's why it killed them quicker?

10:15 OMG that's creepy as shit!!!!!!

10:30 Gary Sinise's character is like oh shit oh fuck, I'm screwed, LMAO.

11:36 God dang, look how hot both these dudes are. That bald guy and the other guy in the uniform. I wouldn't mind having a piece of that!

11:53 "souped up version of the flu".

12:05 this bald General dude is CRAZY fuckin' hot!

12:17 "Most people are gonna think they've got the plain 'ol non-lethal flu, right up til the very end."

14:30 wow... absolutely fascinating story.

16:00 "Dang" lmfao you ain't kiddin'!

17:08 another crow. Are they supposed to know when a bunch of death is around or something?

17:50 ah the days before the internet!

18:20 mmm, God, Gary Sinise in this role makes me wanna fuck so hard. Holy shit! So is he like immune or something? I guess his name is Stu.

God I hope he's some kinda immune anomaly so we can keep seeing his hot ass! I like his attitude!

My only regret is that I started watching this after midnight. This part alone is three fucking hours long.

22:22 God dang! What's with all the hotass dudes in this fuckin' movie, dude?!

22:33 she don't look happy to see him!?

23:30 why does she look so sad?

23:50 this is another reason it's dangerous to have kids.

24:20 "You're just like your father!" oh God.

26:34 "Ah! This is interesting, now watch this!" LMAO wowww.

27:10 OMG yaaaaaas, he IS immune!!!!!!!

27:50 MAINE?!

28:38 LOL, Molly Ringwald, wow, you don't see her in all that much stuff.

30:50 how old is she even supposed to be? LOL, I don't get it. I guess early 20s and the guy was a high schooler or something? LOL. Anyways.

31:50 I like her hair here.

32:10 how did he get it all the way over in Maine?!

34:35 that WOULD be some boring shit.

35:10 what the fuck, the guy doesn't even respond to a bunch of dudes running out of the woods and yelling at him!?

35:25 what the fuck are these guys even doing? I don't get it.

36:30 lmao dammit, the video tape is messing up.

35:45 what the fuck, did he get abducted by aliens or something?

37:10 uh oh, he done went and gone somewhere else!

38:10 oh wow, I kinda remember that old lady. Maybe I have seen parts of this after all. But most certainly not the whole thing.

42:08 "The so called super flu DOES NOT EXIST."

43:10 I like this guy in the "space suit", makes me wanna bang.

48:30 well I'd be totally fucking creeped out by that!?

48:50 LOL hell yeah, classic Americana baby... fuckkk this makes me longgg.

50:00 oh wow, these guys are real assholes!!!

50:40 shapeshifter crows OMG!!!

51:45 "rabble rousers" LOL :)

56:50 very fascinating movie... very interesting.

1:03:20 dude OMG that's sooooooooo fucking CREEEEEEPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYY. Who the fuck is the DARK MAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

1:04:20 this is some apocalypse shit right here.

1:06:00 awwwwe, damn dude not the hot bald guy!!!

1:07:50 awwwe, don't be sad about it hon!!!

1:08:40 hmmm, seems kinda baller to be one of these immune people. Wonder why they're immune??

1:09:00 OMG it's Kathy fucking Bates.

1:10:50 I love this lady's style... she's going down with the ship and it's beautiful. She went out like a badass, let's be honest.

1:11:37 stay calm hon, take the family car and head on down the road!!!

1:12:30 uh oh, it's the first sighting of Randall Flagg, my dream guy!!!

1:13:35 this is a trip how they keep showing up at this lady's dreamland house. Through the corn field no less, always through the corn field.

1:14:50 LOL she just calls him "East Texas"... that's so divine.

1:15:35 he'll be trapped in there if they all die, they really need to let him out.

1:16:19 oh man this fricken asshole isn't gonna kill him is he?? OMG.

1:21:28 it'd be so cool and eerie to be the only one left alive!!!

1:22:10 uh yeah I'd be taking the fucking stairs regardless man. Nobody to save you if you get trapped in the elevator, LMAO!

1:22:50 he's bound to be running into somebody else who's immune sooner or later.

1:23:50 where is she?? Hemmingwhere?!

1:26:00 darrrrk thouuuughhhh.

1:27:06 what the fuck, this kid's just nonchalantly pulling up in her driveway right now?? What the FUCK??

1:29:30 I gotta agree with him... except for going straight to the government facility. LMAO.

1:31:25 LMAO time to bang though!!!!!!!!

1:31:48 OMG I know a guy who looks like this guy.

1:33:20 even the horse is dead?! WTF?!

1:33:38 OMG the prophet is dead too.

1:33:48 uh oh, oh shit, it's a mega hot chick!!! She has a righteous looking gun too. AND a sweet lil widow's peak... fuck, I think I just fell in love.

1:34:50 she's VERY very very hot. CRAZY hot in fact.

I will be straight up, 100% honest at this moment... I would go gay for a chick like that. But in a totally non-sexual way of course.

1:36:36 oh, he's a protective one! I like it. Me so horny!

1:37:20 absolutely fascinating... without this storyline, it would not be as great a movie by a longshot.

1:38:10 OMG, that's Nadine! She's the one who got knocked up by Randall Flagg, right?! I saw something about that in one of the clips I watched the other day.

1:38:50 awww OMG he's trapped in prison! So sad!

1:41:00 this movie is a damn trip, man.

1:42:30 LMFAO that's a lot of stairs at a bad time.

1:43:14 Trashcan Man. Wow. And he's being talked to by the devil as a crow basically.

1:43:43 wow so her place is real.

1:44:15 "Once in every generation, the plague shall fall among men."

1:45:45 I love this old lady.

1:48:12 amen sister, amen amen amen.

1:48:30 he's gonna let the guy out of prison.

1:50:40 I know he's supposed to be the epitome of evil in this story but, TBH, I love his personality.

1:53:55 this lady has some fucking amazing hair.

1:55:50 OMG did he really just waste that whole cigarette??? BEFORE he started toward the tunnel no less??? That is totally fucking stupid.

1:57:50 going for the tunnel instead of the bridge WAS kind of a stupid idea though.

1:58:45 oh great and now he's wasting fucking ammo.

2:00:30 this movie is like... engrossing, no BS.

2:01:23 God Gary Sinise is fine as hell.

2:02:30 oh I really love these two, great story.

2:03:55 why is she saying no!? I don't get it?! It's the fucking apocalypse!

2:04:00 but I mean... if she doesn't wanna have sex she doesn't wanna have sex, sooo. We can go ahead and move on from this.

2:04:50 I'd have fucked him for sure though, this guy's a snack.

2:05:35 oooOooOooOooOoOooo I'm jelly!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:06:20 DAMMIT. Why did her FINE, FINE ass have to be on the dark side?!?!?!?!?!?!? LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME.

Yeah I'm into Randall Flagg, but this other dude is way hotter. Sorry but I mean, in a purely physical way, he is though.

2:08:40 awwwwwweeeeee, this guy's a sweetie.

OMG, IT'S THE MOON GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was wondering just when we were gonna get to meet him right as this scene began.

2:11:00 LMAO holy fuck... what's this guy's story?!?!?!?!?!?!?

2:12:00 lmfao @ them all going to Kansas City.

2:13:40 OMG!!!!!!!!!

2:18:55 LMAO that jacket.

2:19:55 I'd be dumping this Harold fuck. Bye motherfucker!

2:20:50 I totally wanna fuck Gary Sinise. But I will say this, they need to get a fucking move on to Nebraska, not sure why they're just fucking around.

2:21:50 LMAO where did their leather jackets come from, that's what I wanna know.

2:24:20 oh my damn, another hot chick. She's no Nadine... I mean she really really isn't. But in a pinch I guess she'll do okay... not wild about her but. Hopefully she can ride a bike.

2:25:55 I'd be shoving that bitch off, get your damn hand off my gun slutbag. I'm really starting to like this chick less. She's kinda ruined everything.

2:27:10 you better punish her for sayin' that, boy.

2:28:25 I'd be smacking that bitch so fucking hard, oh my God. It's the end of the world, so why the fuck not?? Smack that stupid ho.

2:28:45 BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:30:06 "Well. That was weird." lmfaololol.

2:35:40 OMG it's another chick!!!

2:47:30 lmao, Vegas. Trashcan Man's level of devotion is sort of annoying.

2:48:55 LMFAO! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Figures the tools of satan would be in Vegas!

2:49:23 so what do they claim is so special about Boulder, Colorado?

How many parts are there to this movie??? What the fuck is the rest of it about???

Hmmm. I only see parts 1 & 2 so I guess that's all there is... hopefully. I will probably get around to watching part 2 sometime.

(02-01-2020, 05:07 AM)Mister Obvious Wrote: [ -> ]7:08 God dang, Gary Sinise was fine as hell.

I did him dirty when I wrote this! I thought he was dead, no BS! I guess I got him confused with Bill Paxton. My bad! I'm sure Gary Sinise is still super hot!?

There's a lot of sweet eye candy in this movie but I think Gary Sinise does take the cake.

I hope I'm spelling his name right. The fuck kinda name is that anyway? Not a fan!

I always thought it was "Sinse" and now with the extra "I" thrown in, it makes literally zero fucking sense to me and sounds like some made up shit.

Nadine (Laura San Giacomo) is definitely the hottest chick in the movie.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1831804/

They've got a remake that debuted in 2020? You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

I literally didn't even know about this until JUST NOW.

Fucking unbelievable...

Wow.

Well you know it must be complete garbage.

Why the fuck would they remake it when the original show isn't even 30 years old yet???

Lame. Gay.

Upside down, inside out clown world, I fuckin' swear.

Not reading any of this but thanks for posting! Added to my watch later list!

LOLOL.

I'm onto reviewing the next half...

Uploads of this movie on YouTube are sorta dodgy...

I will give instructions as to how it can be viewed but it's a bit of an issue.

0:17 all those shitty lights... we've at least made a lot of progress in flashlights and lanterns since then.

1:10 God look how fucking fine Gary Sinise is, Lord Jesus.

2:28 oh fuuuuck yeah, Molly Ringwald be gettin' down on that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:45 WTF I just remembered about her annoying friend, the thirsty dude with the ridiculous leather jacket... Stu swore he wouldn't move in on his woman! Bwahahahahaha I KNEW HE WAS LYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:35 ain't it about time to knock this bitch up?!?!?!?!?!?!?

5:28 BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOSE FUCKIN' BABY IS IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Is that obvious? Is it implied?? I can't really tell. He didn't look like he thought it was his did he?? I'm so confused, honest to fricken God.

6:18 and look at him moving in on her like, listen I'm turnt as fuck right now too, and she looks fine as hell but... WHOSE BABY SHE GON' BE HAVIN'?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?1?!?!?!?

Is he just like, laying claim to this situation?! How long have these people been on the road together?? Has it taken them months to get this far?! Is he just super turnt on because she's PREGGNIT!? IS IT HIS?@?!?!?!! I'm SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am serious.

https://www.google.com/search?q=whose+ba...+the+stand

I mean according to everything I can find, she's pregnant by her ex-BF Jesse Rider who we never even met. That's who her dad was talking to her about at the beginning.

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

She tells Stu she's pregnant with some other dude's baby and then Stu gets mega turnt and decides to move in on her hot and heavy? Like yeah, that's totally arousing and all but... is that realistic?? Maybe in an end of the world kinda situation it's realistic?? I really don't know man. I mean she IS totally hot and fit and sexy. For sure. I mean none of that is in question. It's just... I dunno, interesting.

7:50 oh man they're clearly gonna have to kill this fuckin' guy, he's totally gonna be a problem. Maybe he'll just go over to the dark side and fuck off or something. It can never be that easy can it??

8:00 ah well, at least he didn't interrupt... maybe he's not so bad after all.

8:20 bahahahahahaha this is great.

8:35 oh man they're totally gonna have to kill him.

8:55 hmmm... without the nerdy glasses and the stupid jacket, he's actually kinda hot. I have a fetish for dudes who wear black t-shirts anyways though.

I dunno, I'd bang him.

9:10 "Thank you, Harold" lmfao this poor guy. Ah man. This truly cannot end well.

10:30 sunburnt much bruv???

11:10 the dark side has the best dressed though for sure.

13:00 I mean Randall Flagg is one sexy son of a bitch though, I don't think that can be argued. I love his style. It's a great character.

13:55 this guy is so pathetic dude it's honestly sad. I wouldn't wanna play that character!!!

14:20 where does she get all these cute, low key slutty lil dresses!?

15:40 that bitch! Nadine! That Lilith tramp! God she has some glorious hair. Looks like it's slowly going gray as the movie progresses... gorgeous.

God this Laura San Giacomo bitch is so fly.

That tiny chin, that sweet little widow's peak... my dream woman.

18:20 this old dude is a shit stirrer. I'm not digging his line of talk 100%.

18:55 are they trying to say she's evil or some shit??

22:22 nice dulcimer music.

25:30 there's a lot of damn people there... world got crowded again pretty fast eh?! Can't say I dig it.

I liked the story better when there were only a few survivors wandering around.

27:50 man this Nadine Lilith bitch is just like me. Except for way way way way way way sexier.

31:20 WTF.

32:30 this is kinda cringe TBH.

32:40 so WTF is the old lady dead?

32:55 she left them??

33:45 well that can't be good.

34:50 he's wearing cowboy boots too?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Ovaries... melting.

36:55 TBH I'd have to be telling this Lilith bitch to fuck off at the moment. As much as I like her.

37:45 awe man... he ain't gettin' none tonight. Big fuck up bro!

37:55 too late slut, fuck off! Devilbitch!

38:20 she's a freaked out weirdo, bro, push her away OMG!!!

39:24 you better explain yourself fucking immediately. You better tell your woman that the forces of evil got a hold over that other bitch! Her hair be all gray and shit, that shit ain't normal and everybody's acting like ain't nothing different!

39:55 you fucking better love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

40:08 this bitch has lost her mind. I mean she's still pretty hot even with the gray hair and being crazy but... she just needs to go hang out with the devil dude.

41:00 bahahahaha I KNEW Harold was on the dark side!!! Maybe it'll make him sexier!!!

41:45 TBH? I think they just need to split up and settle in other areas... they're idiots for all being together.

42:45 honestly I am low key on this guy's side. Am I gonna have to choose between Larry and Stu??? Cuz TBH... I might actually choose Larry.

44:14 dafuq are they doing with Moon guy??

46:06 it's at this point that I notice the video/sound is out of synch and this is unacceptable.

I'm switching to this upload now:



47:46 we pick up where we left off.

Looks like from here out on the uploads are a bit of a clusterfuck and we might have to watch the out of synch one to get the ending.

But until then I ain't watching some out of synch shit.

49:10 lmao.

49:45 lmao that's savage.

50:00 I gotta say, walking at night and sleeping in the day sounds like a great idea in general.

51:40 it's scenes like these that make this movie so great.

What're they looking for in there??

55:40 the devil lady's here to seduce yoass!

56:30 devil lady's gonna take his virginity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

56:50 NADINE LILITH IS A FUCKING VIRGIN!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! COME ONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bahahahahahahaha she's saving herself for Randall Flagg... the cool guys get all the bitches!!!

57:03 God Nadine is so my shit though... she really is. We are totally soulmates. This is 100% my MO.

58:17 ohhh, I like those shoes!!!

1:00:54 bwahahahahahah THEY ALWAYS DO, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! "But it couldn't have done much for you"... oh believe me sweetie, it does plenty for us.

1:05:15 so do I, Moon boy, so do I.

1:05:50 buzzkill much?! LMAO!

1:09:00 ah my God, is he really asking her to suck his dick right now... facepalm. That's a fate worse than death... maybe it'd be okay if he was Randall though.

I haven't had to suck dick in years, and that makes me happier than you could possibly imagine!!!!!!!!

I really think oral sex is a very unimaginative practice... the fun I've had without it speaks for itself. I do the fun and interesting weird stuff... I leave the dick sucking and pussy eating to the sad fucking normies.

1:12:40 "DON'T SCREW WITH MY DISCO, NADINE" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS FUCKING MOVIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:14:00 look at this little devil minx going around everywhere. I really like her.

1:23:20 I like those instructions... you wouldn't have to tell me twice. Except for the part about not bringing any water, that's kinda not my shit at all.

1:23:42 "In the clothes you now wear"... wow dude that's pretty hardcore.

1:24:00 I think this lady is a really great actor, what an awesome movie.

I think it's definitely worth watching, but then again, everybody's probably already seen it.

1:25:48 I think Molly Ringwald's character is being sort dramatic.

1:26:58 God dang this chick is needy.

1:27:20 I feel like she wasn't always this annoying.

1:28:20 so they have to walk the whole way??? I dunno, now that they're actually doing it, I kinda feel like it's dumb. I just feel like it needs more Randall Flagg.



0:30 wow look at her ridiculous motorcycle. I feel like this show got kinda dumb.

0:53 aw that's just rude!

2:00 aw, that's terrible. What a shitty scene.

2:40 I feel like Nadine is an unconscionable bitch and it makes her less attractive!

5:50 re: this sex scene, ew. He just put a cigarette out in the champaign, that's so unsexy.

7:20 what is even happening right now.

8:26 "DAVE'S NOT HERE."

8:50 dude I honestly have no idea WTF just happened there... no idea what that scene was even about.

11:20 oo, girl, I love that dress!!!

16:28 was holding a banana lmao.

19:00 that note is totally gonna blow away... facepalm.

21:10 lmfao these kids are so mean though!

22:00 rofl.

22:25 Trashcan Man is totally fucking annoying.

24:04 what an entrance, that was pretty hot. He's so sexy!

25:00 oh hell yeah this is what I'm talking about, I would totally be getting it on with him too.

26:06 roflmfao that was actually a pretty hysterical scene.

28:10 LOL her hair is totally white now.

29:12 "She's crazy about me, she can't get enough!"

29:28 "We are dead and this is hell!" ROFL that was such a great scene, OMG ICONIC. This is definitely a great movie. It gets slow and boring sometimes, but otherwise just great.

29:55 I feel like she should cheer up. It can't be that bad to be with this guy!!!

42:10 wow, they're just on a huge long walk across the greatest part of America.

43:55 there's a way to do this, and I feel like that's not how.

45:28 oh for fuck's sake. You ALWAYS more than clear the edge before you look back.

47:20 I gotta agree with Larry, TBH.

48:10 I hear him though for sure, Stu is too hot to die.

49:06 LOL I love that he gives him the "black pill" talk. What a great guy!

50:16 LOL the dog's like fuck you man I'm staying here, you guys are a bunch of assholes!

50:40 "Thanks! He'll probably eat my body once I'm dead!" ROFL!

54:30 this whole walking up hand in hand thingy is kinda corny.

1:05:00 it definitely does get sorta boring at times.

1:09:10 Larry's really got some balls... love that guy. Great character, great movie.

1:14:00 wow it's literally the hand of God. Wow what a scene.

1:15:15 "It's the end of Las Vegas, Tommy." ROFLMAO. "Oh yeah and uh, Randall Flagg."

1:16:58 they're in Green River, Utah!!! Hell yes honey!!! That's what I'm talkin' about!!!

1:17:06 "MOON, that spells peanut butter and jelly!" roflmaolololol.

1:18:30 awwwwe. It's Nick!!!

1:25:20 the baby only got the flu because it wasn't Stu's instead.

1:25:30 I bet people were so sick of this series by the time it was over. It's sooo long.

1:27:20 she's knocked up with Larry's baby, that's awesome!!!

Well it was definitely great and enjoyable albeit a bit slow at times.

I watched part 1 last night, suuuper cheesy at times but still good.
I noticed a lot of synch's to our modern troubles. Even a few coronavirus
hat tips. Like when Larry [the New York dude] was at his mother's dining
table, he made a halo over his head to signify he's "been a good boy".

Coronavirus - corona - crown - wreath - halo << That's actually one of the
definitions when I looked up the Spanish to English translation. There were
several other little instances but I didn't bother writing them down and can't
quite remember them, it was a long ass movie! And only one part at that!

Doing part 2 later tonight. Damn, I see there's 4 parts! Forkin' heck!

OMG, I thought that part was SOOOOO weird and random!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for pointing this out... DAMN.

(02-02-2020, 04:14 PM)somethingelseishere Wrote: [ -> ]Doing part 2 later tonight. Damn, I see there's 4 parts! Forkin' heck!

There are just audio synching issues with one of the uploads...

If you sorta follow the timeline laid out on this thread with the embedded uploads, you will be able to watch it in reasonably acceptable quality...

The second long upload is low volume but it's tolerable.

Thanks for posting the rest of them! I'll watch them all, over the next couple nights.
I remember back when they originally aired and wanted to catch them but between
work and partying I was never home to watch TV.

Oh for sure man...

I mean it IS worth watching.

The second part of it is slower than the first and not really as great.

I personally don't really like the way it ends, it was a little bit too...

Hmmm...

Early 90s TV drama?

Hard to explain but...

Yeah, still worth watching if you have the time to spare and whatnot.

Alright, finally finished part 2 last night, or this morning, one of those!
I just powered through on the second "part 2" clip, synch issues and all.

I was surprized at how anticlimactic it was. But, it was the 90's.
Made-for-TV movie [mini-series], sooo....

Not bad, it's a good story but I think it was a little tame.
Aaaand a little cheeseball at times. I'm not at a loss for 
having watched it though. Not mad or feel like it was a
waste of time. Just wish it had a little more voom to it.

All things considered, I give it an 8 of 10. 
Even WITH Stephen King starring in it!

He was much better in his small, quick Sons Of Anarchy role.

Wow, I didn't notice Stephen's cameo!

I agree with your assessment...

Part 2 and especially the ending needed more voom...

It didn't give me hardcore 90s vibes up until that point.

Part 1 was totally epic though, not a single major fault in it.

Yeah, part 1 flowed better and was more evenly paced to keep one's interest.

damn. 


epic commentary on a long as fuck t.v. movie. 


M-O-O-N,

That spells Mo on. 

Only a trashcan man would give his life for you.