02-07-2022, 12:51 AM
WARNING: SPOILERS. HAPPENING. BELOW. DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.
So originally I had talked some shit about this movie after seeing one of the early trailers and not being particularly impressed, particularly due to some fear that they were gonna trash up this movie with a bunch of mindless sociopolitical propaganda. But after hearing some people talk about how great it was, I decided I had to watch it. Fucking NOW.
I see that the movie is 2 hours and 30 min. long, so that means it should take me about 6 hours to watch/review it. Here we go.
I have seen all the original Matrix movies (besides Animatrix) so I am not coming into this as a Matrix noob... although the idea of some younger folks out there getting introduced to the entire Matrix series through this new movie is kind of interesting. I think that's definitely a good thing.
*turns on loudness boost, gets ready for home theater quality entertainment*
It's 7PM. I suspect I will finish watching this around midnight.
0:56 what was that about a window pane??? Alright, clearly I'm gonna have to turn closed captions on...
(Any fucking excuse.)
*rewinds to beginning*
0:49...
[device beeping]
[phone line ringing]
Lmfao thank God for CC. I love the way they explain every detail, rofl!!!
1:00 "The skylight was a window pane"... niiice. I did hear it half right to begin with!!!
"Bugs" huh? Interesting name.
2:20 there's already a WEIRD synchronicity with this hotel sign, and it's something that would only mean anything TO ME. So that tells me that this should be a really good movie. That's the kinda magic you look for as an indicator that it's delivering a true message.
2:30 "I think we can handle one little girl." LOL, the way they all paused. Wasn't that a line from the original movie? Cute.
2:40 "Your men are already dead." Isn't this ENTIRE fucking convo from the OG movie??? They should have just left it at the first quip.
I guess in a way it could just be making a point about how scenarios seem to repeat in the matrix. I get it, it's whatever.
3:07 that's not fucking Carrie-Anne Moss though. Is it supposed to be her or is it SUPPOSED to be someone else?? I guess I should just watch and see.
That chick looks nothing like Carrie-Anne Moss. Why didn't they just make her play this part and then make her look younger post-edit if they had to?? Why not just use actual original footage from the first movie?? I dunno.
4:10 that's a badass fucking outfit though. Looks uncomfortable as hell, but wow!!!
4:35 yeah, it IS all wrong. Thanks for noticing.
4:50 "If that's supposed to be Trinity," EXACTLY!!! Bwahahaha, it's fucking NOT. Whew, okay. I was about to have a serious problem with this movie in the first 5 minutes.
Is Bugs gonna be the new Neo or something?? That's hot.
[Bugs grunting]
LOL.
7:38 is this the new Morpheus?!
7:55 "What's a modal?" Yeah I was gonna ask the same fuckin' thing.
8:20 I think these two kinda wanna bang, and I can't say I blame 'em. I ship it.
8:42 she's wearing an interesting necklace, it's literally a chain.
9:00 ermergerd, it's ferkin' NERER!!!!!!!!!!
9:05 "This is his apartment"... excuse me but that toaster oven is waaaaay too fucking new to be a 1999 model.
9:19 when she says "Neo" it sounds like she's saying "New"... which I guess is closer on the mark than "ERMERGERD, NERER!!!!!!!!!!"
9:38 she's seen him? Where AF?
9:42 this fuckin' agent guy keeps repeating my questions.
9:50 he was bald when he walked up to the edge and then had long hair when it showed him in the second shot.
"But the moment he looked at me... HE GREW HAIR AND A BEARD AND I FELT SOMETHING IN MY PANTS!!!!!!!!!"
10:10 "I saw this pattern... and it was everywhere." OMG the same thing happened to me when I did shrooms in Amsterdam in 2009 and I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO UNSEE IT!!!
10:20 we're not "trapped inside" of SHIT. It's the fabric of spacetime/existence itself. You're just not supposed to be able to see it, or you start acting weird and wearing fishnets all the time like me?!
11:05 but... you're not Morpheus though. I mean, okay, I can accept it. But. Yeah like. No. But. Yeah.
11:09 I think she just came. Which is hot.
12:40 lmfao this is pretty good.
14:00 so in Neo's fake world "The Matrix" was a 1999 video game he designed.
14:45 he uses one of those weirdass mouses.
14:56 check it out, SUPER FAST "Bounty" paper towel product placement. The coffee shop sign says "Simulatte"... cute.
15:09 Neo's reflection in the table is a different face than he really has. Intriguing, I saw that when he was in front of the mirror in the preview. So whenever his reflection is different in a mirror, I guess that means he's in the matrix.
It's little things like this that make me glad I can pause the movie etc. because in a theater it'd really piss me off since there's no pausing/rewinding, etc.
15:42 "Total effin' MILF"... okay first of all, I love that he literally said f'n instead of the full word... I think it's going out of style to use the actual cusswords and we're gonna start going along with petnames for the classic cusswords instead. I also would like to point out in total agreement that Carrie-Anne Moss IS still good looking as fuck.
17:08 "Chad" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I bet everyone in the theater busted out fucking laughing at this part. Wait, do people go to theaters anymore?? OMG I honestly don't know?!
17:12 lmao I love the shitty look on Neo's annoying friend's face re: Chad. This movie is honestly adorable so far. I love that Neo is still in love with Trinity... it's very endearing. I was afraid they were gonna give him a 20 year old love interest like they always do in hollywank with these oldass actors. Not that Keanu is old. Whatever.
17:15 Chad is perfectly hatable. Look at the longing glance she gives Neo on the way out... pft. Divorce papers, tomorrow.
18:05 I didn't know Hugo Weaving or any of the other OG cast members were in this movie at all besides Carrie-Anne and Keanu. That's a pleasant surprise.
18:18 "Oh. Em. Gee." Wow, damn dude... they're making everyone who uses these internet slag versions of cusswords and overly used phrases out to be really hate-worthy characters. Feeling personally attacked ATM.
19:40 this fellow is supposed to be sorta younger than Keanu, and I know he is... but TBH I think they could have stood to make his character even younger so as to be even more annoying and loathsome. They're going for "youngster telling me what to do" vibes with him, but I think they made him more of an equal than they should have.
19:50 lol it's almost like they're referencing how a lot of fans of the Matrix "TRILOGY" weren't that stoked when they heard about this fourth movie coming out... *raises hand*
At first, I did assume it was just a desperate attempt to make more money since the last Matrix movie came out like 20 years ago and they're probably running out but... so far this movie doesn't feel that way at all, and I'm glad.
21:15 I know some schizophrenic people put out a trigger warning about this movie because some of their specific "delusions" are that reality is actually a simulation, lol.
22:20 the blue glasses are definitely symbolic of the blue pill, I guess. He sees through a blue pill lens... but I dunno, he sounds like a pretty good therapist to me, lmao.
23:00 Christina Ricci is in this too. She's hot but I don't dig the hair... it's giving me Effie/Hunger Games/Red Queen vibes. I guess that's probably the entire point.
23:50 okay, nobody actually SAYS "WTF"... that's one that is always the same no matter what. On some real shit, are they not really allowed to cuss in this movie or something??
24:50 I definitely agree with that though, mind sex is way better than real sex.
24:56 "It is so much simpler to bury reality than it is to dispose of dreams"... what the fuck does that mean?? Isn't that like... saying the same thing???
25:00 it's at this juncture that I guess I should mention that I fucking despise Alice In Wonderland, sooo. Yeah, just gonna try to ignore all the absolutely fucking obnoxious references to it in this movie.
27:00 oh shit, did she just drop the "Regretting Motherhood" bomb?! ROFLLLLL!!! Tehehehe. I'm not even surprised by the super personal synchronicities anymore.
27:20 I really do think Keanu and Carrie-Anne are beautifully charming together, they have a wonderful almost ethereal chemistry between them.
29:20 "He laughed." Sounds like a fucking narcissist to me!
This movie is fascinating. It definitely wasn't a mistake like I originally assumed. I don't blame myself for assuming that because most of the time in hollywank, sequels are about one thing... more money, and bleedin' it dry.
30:05 she's a fucking gorgeous woman. I like the fact that she hasn't really been in much else that anybody knows her for besides the Matrix movies. Most of the time being type-cast is a horrible thing... but in this case, it's actually one of the rare times that bolsters one's legacy.
30:15 she's different in the reflection too.
30:20 I love how draining and stupid they make parenthood sound... it's so on-point, but no one can admit it because then it'd just ruin their kids' lives, which would just make everything even worse. But I will say this... I think this past mid-life, reconnection with an old love situation they're portraying here is being utilized in a few different ways. Mainly, it's stressing the importance of re-establishing those old connections anyways, even though you're both "past prime". I like that. You almost never see it in the movies.
30:28 Keanu looks so kind. I think what I always say about actors "not really acting, just being themselves" is proven here as well. I think Keanu is a genuinely good person, and he always gives away most of his earnings. People don't understand the reason behind that fully, but they always think it's great when they hear about it. It's actually his way of keeping free of having to make the "crossroads agreement" for fame/fortune.
31:47 okay, the "new" Morpheus is pretty cool. Lmao. That fucking suit though. God dang I want that. I WANT THAT. I want it. Dress me that way. Dress me as such. Come on. Give it.
32:25 [gasps softly] rofl.
32:33 the red pill in this version is sort of candy apple red. It reminds me of Dorothy's shoes in the Wizard of Oz.
32:46 "It was a test. An experiment."
33:07 mirror hacking... interesting. Reminds me of yet another schizophrenic "delusion" about looking for gaps between the finger/mirror.
34:08 [tense music playing] rofl.
Actually...
*turns off loudness boost*
Lmao.
That's just... wholly unnecessary.
35:22 OMG it's Lieutenant Jingles!
It's now after 9PM. I'm ~30 mins. in after 2 hours... yuuuuuuuuup.
36:42 I laughed, is that bad?
37:25 I think Keanu is sexy, but like... in a non-sexual way. Is that weird?
39:18 man I wish I believed in love. I just can't though. I'll never get that back. It's okay.
40:00 agh my God dude, just the SIGHT of alcohol makes me wanna hurl so effing hard.
What the fuck. How does my spell checker not underline "effing" but it's underlining other "misspellings"?? Lol!
Oh my God... I Google'd it and "effing" is literally entered as a word in Oxford Languages. LMAO!!! See, I told you cutesy slang for cusswords is the new way. "Effing" takes SLIGHTLY less time to say than "Fucking" so I can get behind it.
43:00 the blue tinted glasses are the antithesis of everything right, but whatever. They look cool on her so I guess I can let it slide.
45:00 I'm eating shrimp ramen right now, not gonna lie. I put peas and carrots in it though... gotta get that fiber!? I'll probably commentate less for the duration of my meal.
46:50 okay so they ARE allowed to cuss in this movie. Interesting.
47:42 I definitely understand why some schizophrenic people would be triggered by this movie or just have a hard time with it.
48:30 all the gunfire is extreeeeeemely annoying though. I don't get why guns are so fucking important in the matrix, none of them ever seem to die from being shot anyways. Like very few actually seem to die from it. Can we trade that shit out for quiet/silent laser guns or something? Lmao.
49:40 they really should start trying to innovate with more futuristic weaponry in movies... getting a little archaic with the guns.
53:30 these machines all move like a bunch of underwater tech.
56:22 I'm glad this movie is long... it should be.
It's 10PM. I'm one hour into the movie. Muwahahaha!!! Bwahahahaha!!!
57:40 "Made you believe their world was all you deserved."
58:40 so are they saying the only thing that still matters to Neo is Trinity? I think that's romantic, especially since they're older now. The Matrix is a non-lame love story.
59:38 dude, he just like... nuked the matrix with his hands.
1:00:40 bitch needs to give me that sweater.
1:05:20 imagine how totally unable an 80+ year old would be to understand this movie. For real.
1:05:45 damn straight we were gonna have this conversation, the fuck you think this is, bitch!? Go get that fucking pod!!!
1:09:10 she's gotta be clownin'.
1:16:40 I dunno man, being in the matrix kinda seems better than this shit.
1:18:25 oh hell yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!!!!!!!
1:21:55 roflmao.
1:36:15 that's hot.
1:38:10 reference to loosh harvesting.
1:53:35 damn she's so good lookin'.
1:54:20 *Twilight Zone theme plays in head* lol.
1:55:10 lmao @ her annoying douchebag kids barging in. God. *shakes head*
1:55:20 roflmao, agh. Exactly. Nothing traps you into the matrix like having kids. It reminds me of all the videos on the Soft White Underbelly channel. A cold as ice mofo will be giving an interview, and whenever they break down, almost every single fucking time, they were talking about their kids. Screw that. Anything with that much control over your life is an absolute trap.
1:57:38 no fuckin' WAAAAAAY!!!!!!!1
1:58:08 dude, Neo's new supercharged powerz are the sheeeit.
2:00:18 I'm gripped, yo... *nod*
2:00:30 I like how they just planted foreheads... that's my kinda shit right there.
2:01:30 lerl.
2:06:40 ah, she was always gonna take one for the team anyway, I'm sure she's cool with it.
2:09:48 [soft dramatic music playing] rofl oh man, this is great.
2:13:10 daaaammmmnnnn, yo.
2:14:30 "*slams into wall* ... THAT was for using children." Bwahahahaha. Oh man. *shakes head, raises glass*
2:15:25 dunno if I've ever heard 'em use "sheeple" in a major movie before.
That ending, chills.
Well, nothing tops the original movie... but this one was better than the second or the third, in my opinion.
So originally I had talked some shit about this movie after seeing one of the early trailers and not being particularly impressed, particularly due to some fear that they were gonna trash up this movie with a bunch of mindless sociopolitical propaganda. But after hearing some people talk about how great it was, I decided I had to watch it. Fucking NOW.
I see that the movie is 2 hours and 30 min. long, so that means it should take me about 6 hours to watch/review it. Here we go.
I have seen all the original Matrix movies (besides Animatrix) so I am not coming into this as a Matrix noob... although the idea of some younger folks out there getting introduced to the entire Matrix series through this new movie is kind of interesting. I think that's definitely a good thing.
*turns on loudness boost, gets ready for home theater quality entertainment*
It's 7PM. I suspect I will finish watching this around midnight.
0:56 what was that about a window pane??? Alright, clearly I'm gonna have to turn closed captions on...
(Any fucking excuse.)
*rewinds to beginning*
0:49...
[device beeping]
[phone line ringing]
Lmfao thank God for CC. I love the way they explain every detail, rofl!!!
1:00 "The skylight was a window pane"... niiice. I did hear it half right to begin with!!!
"Bugs" huh? Interesting name.
2:20 there's already a WEIRD synchronicity with this hotel sign, and it's something that would only mean anything TO ME. So that tells me that this should be a really good movie. That's the kinda magic you look for as an indicator that it's delivering a true message.
2:30 "I think we can handle one little girl." LOL, the way they all paused. Wasn't that a line from the original movie? Cute.
2:40 "Your men are already dead." Isn't this ENTIRE fucking convo from the OG movie??? They should have just left it at the first quip.
I guess in a way it could just be making a point about how scenarios seem to repeat in the matrix. I get it, it's whatever.
3:07 that's not fucking Carrie-Anne Moss though. Is it supposed to be her or is it SUPPOSED to be someone else?? I guess I should just watch and see.
That chick looks nothing like Carrie-Anne Moss. Why didn't they just make her play this part and then make her look younger post-edit if they had to?? Why not just use actual original footage from the first movie?? I dunno.
4:10 that's a badass fucking outfit though. Looks uncomfortable as hell, but wow!!!
4:35 yeah, it IS all wrong. Thanks for noticing.
4:50 "If that's supposed to be Trinity," EXACTLY!!! Bwahahaha, it's fucking NOT. Whew, okay. I was about to have a serious problem with this movie in the first 5 minutes.
Is Bugs gonna be the new Neo or something?? That's hot.
[Bugs grunting]
LOL.
7:38 is this the new Morpheus?!
7:55 "What's a modal?" Yeah I was gonna ask the same fuckin' thing.
8:20 I think these two kinda wanna bang, and I can't say I blame 'em. I ship it.
8:42 she's wearing an interesting necklace, it's literally a chain.
9:00 ermergerd, it's ferkin' NERER!!!!!!!!!!
9:05 "This is his apartment"... excuse me but that toaster oven is waaaaay too fucking new to be a 1999 model.
9:19 when she says "Neo" it sounds like she's saying "New"... which I guess is closer on the mark than "ERMERGERD, NERER!!!!!!!!!!"
9:38 she's seen him? Where AF?
9:42 this fuckin' agent guy keeps repeating my questions.
9:50 he was bald when he walked up to the edge and then had long hair when it showed him in the second shot.
"But the moment he looked at me... HE GREW HAIR AND A BEARD AND I FELT SOMETHING IN MY PANTS!!!!!!!!!"
10:10 "I saw this pattern... and it was everywhere." OMG the same thing happened to me when I did shrooms in Amsterdam in 2009 and I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO UNSEE IT!!!
10:20 we're not "trapped inside" of SHIT. It's the fabric of spacetime/existence itself. You're just not supposed to be able to see it, or you start acting weird and wearing fishnets all the time like me?!
11:05 but... you're not Morpheus though. I mean, okay, I can accept it. But. Yeah like. No. But. Yeah.
11:09 I think she just came. Which is hot.
12:40 lmfao this is pretty good.
14:00 so in Neo's fake world "The Matrix" was a 1999 video game he designed.
14:45 he uses one of those weirdass mouses.
14:56 check it out, SUPER FAST "Bounty" paper towel product placement. The coffee shop sign says "Simulatte"... cute.
15:09 Neo's reflection in the table is a different face than he really has. Intriguing, I saw that when he was in front of the mirror in the preview. So whenever his reflection is different in a mirror, I guess that means he's in the matrix.
It's little things like this that make me glad I can pause the movie etc. because in a theater it'd really piss me off since there's no pausing/rewinding, etc.
15:42 "Total effin' MILF"... okay first of all, I love that he literally said f'n instead of the full word... I think it's going out of style to use the actual cusswords and we're gonna start going along with petnames for the classic cusswords instead. I also would like to point out in total agreement that Carrie-Anne Moss IS still good looking as fuck.
17:08 "Chad" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I bet everyone in the theater busted out fucking laughing at this part. Wait, do people go to theaters anymore?? OMG I honestly don't know?!
17:12 lmao I love the shitty look on Neo's annoying friend's face re: Chad. This movie is honestly adorable so far. I love that Neo is still in love with Trinity... it's very endearing. I was afraid they were gonna give him a 20 year old love interest like they always do in hollywank with these oldass actors. Not that Keanu is old. Whatever.
17:15 Chad is perfectly hatable. Look at the longing glance she gives Neo on the way out... pft. Divorce papers, tomorrow.
18:05 I didn't know Hugo Weaving or any of the other OG cast members were in this movie at all besides Carrie-Anne and Keanu. That's a pleasant surprise.
18:18 "Oh. Em. Gee." Wow, damn dude... they're making everyone who uses these internet slag versions of cusswords and overly used phrases out to be really hate-worthy characters. Feeling personally attacked ATM.
19:40 this fellow is supposed to be sorta younger than Keanu, and I know he is... but TBH I think they could have stood to make his character even younger so as to be even more annoying and loathsome. They're going for "youngster telling me what to do" vibes with him, but I think they made him more of an equal than they should have.
19:50 lol it's almost like they're referencing how a lot of fans of the Matrix "TRILOGY" weren't that stoked when they heard about this fourth movie coming out... *raises hand*
At first, I did assume it was just a desperate attempt to make more money since the last Matrix movie came out like 20 years ago and they're probably running out but... so far this movie doesn't feel that way at all, and I'm glad.
21:15 I know some schizophrenic people put out a trigger warning about this movie because some of their specific "delusions" are that reality is actually a simulation, lol.
22:20 the blue glasses are definitely symbolic of the blue pill, I guess. He sees through a blue pill lens... but I dunno, he sounds like a pretty good therapist to me, lmao.
23:00 Christina Ricci is in this too. She's hot but I don't dig the hair... it's giving me Effie/Hunger Games/Red Queen vibes. I guess that's probably the entire point.
23:50 okay, nobody actually SAYS "WTF"... that's one that is always the same no matter what. On some real shit, are they not really allowed to cuss in this movie or something??
24:50 I definitely agree with that though, mind sex is way better than real sex.
24:56 "It is so much simpler to bury reality than it is to dispose of dreams"... what the fuck does that mean?? Isn't that like... saying the same thing???
25:00 it's at this juncture that I guess I should mention that I fucking despise Alice In Wonderland, sooo. Yeah, just gonna try to ignore all the absolutely fucking obnoxious references to it in this movie.
27:00 oh shit, did she just drop the "Regretting Motherhood" bomb?! ROFLLLLL!!! Tehehehe. I'm not even surprised by the super personal synchronicities anymore.
27:20 I really do think Keanu and Carrie-Anne are beautifully charming together, they have a wonderful almost ethereal chemistry between them.
29:20 "He laughed." Sounds like a fucking narcissist to me!
This movie is fascinating. It definitely wasn't a mistake like I originally assumed. I don't blame myself for assuming that because most of the time in hollywank, sequels are about one thing... more money, and bleedin' it dry.
30:05 she's a fucking gorgeous woman. I like the fact that she hasn't really been in much else that anybody knows her for besides the Matrix movies. Most of the time being type-cast is a horrible thing... but in this case, it's actually one of the rare times that bolsters one's legacy.
30:15 she's different in the reflection too.
30:20 I love how draining and stupid they make parenthood sound... it's so on-point, but no one can admit it because then it'd just ruin their kids' lives, which would just make everything even worse. But I will say this... I think this past mid-life, reconnection with an old love situation they're portraying here is being utilized in a few different ways. Mainly, it's stressing the importance of re-establishing those old connections anyways, even though you're both "past prime". I like that. You almost never see it in the movies.
30:28 Keanu looks so kind. I think what I always say about actors "not really acting, just being themselves" is proven here as well. I think Keanu is a genuinely good person, and he always gives away most of his earnings. People don't understand the reason behind that fully, but they always think it's great when they hear about it. It's actually his way of keeping free of having to make the "crossroads agreement" for fame/fortune.
31:47 okay, the "new" Morpheus is pretty cool. Lmao. That fucking suit though. God dang I want that. I WANT THAT. I want it. Dress me that way. Dress me as such. Come on. Give it.
32:25 [gasps softly] rofl.
32:33 the red pill in this version is sort of candy apple red. It reminds me of Dorothy's shoes in the Wizard of Oz.
32:46 "It was a test. An experiment."
33:07 mirror hacking... interesting. Reminds me of yet another schizophrenic "delusion" about looking for gaps between the finger/mirror.
34:08 [tense music playing] rofl.
Actually...
*turns off loudness boost*
Lmao.
That's just... wholly unnecessary.
35:22 OMG it's Lieutenant Jingles!
It's now after 9PM. I'm ~30 mins. in after 2 hours... yuuuuuuuuup.
36:42 I laughed, is that bad?
37:25 I think Keanu is sexy, but like... in a non-sexual way. Is that weird?
39:18 man I wish I believed in love. I just can't though. I'll never get that back. It's okay.
40:00 agh my God dude, just the SIGHT of alcohol makes me wanna hurl so effing hard.
What the fuck. How does my spell checker not underline "effing" but it's underlining other "misspellings"?? Lol!
Oh my God... I Google'd it and "effing" is literally entered as a word in Oxford Languages. LMAO!!! See, I told you cutesy slang for cusswords is the new way. "Effing" takes SLIGHTLY less time to say than "Fucking" so I can get behind it.
43:00 the blue tinted glasses are the antithesis of everything right, but whatever. They look cool on her so I guess I can let it slide.
45:00 I'm eating shrimp ramen right now, not gonna lie. I put peas and carrots in it though... gotta get that fiber!? I'll probably commentate less for the duration of my meal.
46:50 okay so they ARE allowed to cuss in this movie. Interesting.
47:42 I definitely understand why some schizophrenic people would be triggered by this movie or just have a hard time with it.
48:30 all the gunfire is extreeeeeemely annoying though. I don't get why guns are so fucking important in the matrix, none of them ever seem to die from being shot anyways. Like very few actually seem to die from it. Can we trade that shit out for quiet/silent laser guns or something? Lmao.
49:40 they really should start trying to innovate with more futuristic weaponry in movies... getting a little archaic with the guns.
53:30 these machines all move like a bunch of underwater tech.
56:22 I'm glad this movie is long... it should be.
It's 10PM. I'm one hour into the movie. Muwahahaha!!! Bwahahahaha!!!
57:40 "Made you believe their world was all you deserved."
58:40 so are they saying the only thing that still matters to Neo is Trinity? I think that's romantic, especially since they're older now. The Matrix is a non-lame love story.
59:38 dude, he just like... nuked the matrix with his hands.
1:00:40 bitch needs to give me that sweater.
1:05:20 imagine how totally unable an 80+ year old would be to understand this movie. For real.
1:05:45 damn straight we were gonna have this conversation, the fuck you think this is, bitch!? Go get that fucking pod!!!
1:09:10 she's gotta be clownin'.
1:16:40 I dunno man, being in the matrix kinda seems better than this shit.
1:18:25 oh hell yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!!!!!!!
1:21:55 roflmao.
1:36:15 that's hot.
1:38:10 reference to loosh harvesting.
1:53:35 damn she's so good lookin'.
1:54:20 *Twilight Zone theme plays in head* lol.
1:55:10 lmao @ her annoying douchebag kids barging in. God. *shakes head*
1:55:20 roflmao, agh. Exactly. Nothing traps you into the matrix like having kids. It reminds me of all the videos on the Soft White Underbelly channel. A cold as ice mofo will be giving an interview, and whenever they break down, almost every single fucking time, they were talking about their kids. Screw that. Anything with that much control over your life is an absolute trap.
1:57:38 no fuckin' WAAAAAAY!!!!!!!1
1:58:08 dude, Neo's new supercharged powerz are the sheeeit.
2:00:18 I'm gripped, yo... *nod*
2:00:30 I like how they just planted foreheads... that's my kinda shit right there.
2:01:30 lerl.
2:06:40 ah, she was always gonna take one for the team anyway, I'm sure she's cool with it.
2:09:48 [soft dramatic music playing] rofl oh man, this is great.
2:13:10 daaaammmmnnnn, yo.
2:14:30 "*slams into wall* ... THAT was for using children." Bwahahahaha. Oh man. *shakes head, raises glass*
2:15:25 dunno if I've ever heard 'em use "sheeple" in a major movie before.
That ending, chills.
Well, nothing tops the original movie... but this one was better than the second or the third, in my opinion.
