02-27-2022, 03:30 AM
WARNING: SPOILERS. HAPPENING. BELOW. DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.
Well it's Saturday night, and I'm apparently about to spend the remainder of it watching this movie, since it's 2 hrs. long and it always takes me at least twice the length of the movie to review and commentate on it.
Full movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L84RQH1xZvE
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pretty_Woman
I think the main question here is really like...
Why? Why am I watching this movie? I wish I had a good answer, but nah.
The other question I have is... who the heck is this movie geared toward? Were there a lot of prostitutes in the '80s and '90s who needed a movie about hooker hope?? I shudder to think.
What value could a girl like me find in a movie like this? I dunno, I guess we'll see.
Out of the gate, I will admit that the only scene I know from this movie is the iconic "I've got money to spend in here!" scene. And I vaguely remember a scene about no kissing being permitted, and I also seem to remember a scene of Richard Gere sitting at a piano. So. Have I seen this movie before? Shit, I hope not, cuz if so I just wasted $3.99!? If I've seen it before, it had to be YEARSSSS ago, so it should basically be like new to me. Lol.
Let's begin.
0:40 oh wow, it's Jason Alexander! I never knew he was in anything besides Seinfeld! I have his autograph! He's a cutie. 0:46 you know what, he kinda reminds me of Peter Falk with the way he moves and stuff... never noticed that before.
(Not even a minute in and I'm already pausing and Googling totally unrelated things to satisfy my curiosity and random thought excursions. BTW, yes, of course I have closed captions on. Of course I do.)
1:07 I dunno, this movie is already kind of magical and low key charming. Does it go without saying that this movie is really well done? I'm impressed though.
I'm just wondering, like... what's the story here?? Is this the 'rich businessman rents a hooker' thing we hear about in ho mythos?? I'm intrigued.
2:21 you know, she seems charming. I really dig the look of a french braid, but I don't have 6 arms Hindu goddess style and I don't have 5 million years to spend on the shit!
3:15 why is the lawyer guy tending to this rich business dude (and the whole party for that matter) like he's a freaking butler or something?? *clutches pearls*
3:30 it's kinda funny, I guess in the 80s and early 90s these kinds of cars were bigshot cars, but I swear growing up I saw at least like 5 or 6 teenage boys driving these cars around as their first ever vehicles, lmao, right!?
4:15 okay we have some street walkers going on here. Things are starting to look promising! I just wonder HOW he meets Julia Roberts' character?! The movie isn't looking familiar so far, so I'm just really hoping I've never seen it.
4:28 this movie kiiiiinda glamorizes the hooker lifestyle though, everything all colorful and fast paced with fun music and stuff... meh. Yeesh. Ick! I'm almost feeling like this movie was part of some kinda cultural revolution/degradation agenda that went hand-in-hand with the popularization of rap music and sought to undermine the moral fortitude of the populace by playing up these dangerous and destructive lifestyles. Just a hunch though.
Like, rather than being a movie that was put out to comfort all the hoes living a life in 'the game', it's actually trying to make them curious about that life and give them a false sense of security with the notion that a Richard Gere might come along and save them from being a hooker... you know, Captain Save-A-Ho style.
4:38 look at those bitchin' panties... I mean they make it all look so great, don't they? Hmmm. Suspicious.
4:47 whoa, the fuzz on that arm made me question if that's a dude or a chick. Don't get me wrong, I think Julia Roberts is very a *cough*PRETTY WOMAN*cough* but I feel like the lighting with the lamp or whatever really accentuated some details that we could have done without. So okay, the alarm's going off to wake her up AT NIGHT, so I'm guessing she's "working the blade" at a late hour... she's a nighttime hooker, between the hours of what, 8PM and 2AM?? I know from watching prostitution documentaries that the best hours to work the streets are between 3-6AM, so she really needs to up her game.
4:58 um, PLEASE tell me he's not ACTUALLY cruising the streets looking for a hooker. I really hope they meet in some other way, like something quirky or whatever. Not a single woman alive wants a man who actually goes for hookers, like come on.
And I'm not hating on Richard Gere or anything, but I wish somebody else could have played this character, like somebody who really makes bitches' panties wet. Maybe somebody like... I dunno, kinda devious looking. Maybe Michael Keaton? Well anyway, no matter.
So Richard Gere was 41 at the time of filming and Julia Roberts was 23. I wish she'd been like 30 or something... it's the older hookers in the game who REALLY need rescuing!!!
5:07 ooo, nice ingenuity there with the black marker fixing the scuffs on shoes, totally brilliant, I've been known to do that!
5:17 wait a second, that's not Julia freakin' Roberts is it? Is she wearing a wig or something!? It didn't even look like her eyes!
Ah yeah, it is her.
5:50 with this soundtrack it's like they're REALLY trying to drive home the point that she's "wild"... there was a lyrically similar song playing around the time of the iconic snotty shopkeepers scene too.
7:13 oh hey I like this guy, what have I seen him in before? Apparently his name is Hank Azaria. No idea.
8:04 oh hey, it's that super cute Lilith chick who I super loved from The Stand! Laura San Giacomo!
10:20 I can't believe they're ACTUALLY glamorizing sucking dick for money right now. Trying to make it look all cute... like, come on. They have all their teeth, they don't appear to be on drugs, I mean where is the realism here?
11:15 okay so the storyline is that he's gonna accidentally pick up this hooker because he's struggling along in that poor lawyer guy's manual like a tard? Okay, I can get behind that.
12:28 Vivian? Meh, I was thinking "Moonlight" or something magical like that, but okay.
13:18 honestly, he should be letting the hooker drive.
13:45 agh, thank God.
13:56 I meeean... it doesn't sound much better with her driving, but I guess let's just go with it.
I might need some Pop-Tarts for this.
14:28 they say $100 like it's a lot... I mean granted it was probably worth a lot more back in 1990 but it's still not near enough no matter what to suck some random dick, gross.
14:36 see this is my qualm with prostitution too, they make sooo much money, yet they're STILL on the streets? Even WITHOUT pimps. It's fucking ridiculous. That's why it's a lifestyle choice... it's a choice. That's why I have a problem with movies like this glamorizing it like it's okay or something.
14:50 ummm, she just like bold faced sexually harassed him though, somebody bring out the Karens cuz this is totally not okay. Problematic much?
15:15 whoa look at this hotass bellhop dude, oh my damn. Fuck!
15:30 uh oh, I feel a connection though. Like, no, Richard Gere, she probably won't be alright, you just had her drive like 5 miles from her corner, mkay. Get with the program. She's gonna need $100 to get back there.
15:45 meh, I guess Richard Gere is kind of okay looking, he's growing on me. By the end of the movie maybe I'll even think he's hot or something.
16:11 I don't WANT them to fuck, buuuuut... I kinda want them to fuck.
16:40 they kind of have decent chemistry, it's kind of cute.
17:10 it's... not that great, but yeah.
18:05 "First time in an elevator." Lmfao okay, I'm diggin' this guy. Good sense of humor. He's really playing this smooth.
18:50 you know what, SAAAAAME. Lmfao I guess cards on hotel doors have NEVER worked right. Rofl!!!!!!! This movie aged well, I gotta say.
19:17 this sounds like the opening of "One Of My Turns" (Pink Floyd) with the groupies/hookers.
19:56 I'm getting definite Virgo vibes from Richard Gere here, so maybe he really was excellently suited for this role. He is a Virgo in real life, no BS. Excellently done.
21:30 you can say I'm slow, that's cool, but I just now realized this is a classic manic pixie prostitute situation. Lmao.
21:50 she's making me slightly uncomfortable with her handsy-ness.
22:07 honestly bro, don't let her answer the door now, come on, word's gonna get around.
24:18 how much for the entire night?? Can't you do math, bro?? 8 hours, $800. I meeean... unless there's some kinda opportunity to charge beyond the normal rate presenting itself here. In that case I guess jack the price up?? I mean, he asked. Okay, Mr. Bigshot, that's gonna be $2k.
24:24 "You couldn't afford it." Is this a joke?? Like this whole scene is reading like a fan-fic or something, did we just step out of the known universe into some weird alternate reality, lmao, what IS this?! Are they just flirting or something? I don't get it.
24:28 "$300" ... "Done." ... THREE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO CHARGING BY THE HOUR?!!??!?!!??!?!?!!!? Okay, I knew we were in an alternate universe, but that just went one toke over the line into straight up tard land. Where are my FREAKIN' Pop-Tarts? What, is the night only 3 hours long now!? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!!?!??!! I'm pissed. *angrily opens strawberry Pop-Tart, AND blueberry too*
I'm SICK of these hoes UNDERCHARGING!!!!!!!!!
24:34 and she's got this look on her face like $300 for the ENTIRE NIGHT is some kinda big deal or something (ESPECIALLY when he's a RICH GUY?!), it's just absurd.
24:50 uh oh. Is she about to do drugs?? I was wondering when drugs were gonna come into play here. Wow, I actually wasn't expecting this though.
25:18 lol, oh, well, okay then. I meeeeaaaan. At least he was gonna kick her out though, I appreciate that. So I guess it's a subtle warning to the ho hopefuls who are gonna get hooker inspiration from watching this movie... it's fine to go be a prostitute, but STAY OFF THE DRUGS or Richard Gere is gonna kick you out of his hotel room!!!
26:30 big rich businessman life seems so boring and oddly stressful at the same time, what the eff!? *sips milk out of a huge mason jar*
27:00 I guess this is when it gets all '50 Shades of Grey' where he's watching her instead of the TV show, lmao.
27:10 wait a minute, is this the "It's time to suck my dick now" body language? Cuz I'm kinda feeling like it is. Time to play the skin flute I guess... pft, men. They're all the same.
27:34 you can tell she looks kinda disappointed... it's like that moment in a relationship when you realize "Oh, it's not actually about having fun or enjoying ourselves, that whole 'actual life' thingy is just the awkward time in between sex or sucking your dick." #relatable
28:12 [Vivian mutes television] lmao.
NGL, I'm kinda let down in this whole scene. I just kinda wish he'd never accepted any kind of sex acts from her... I dunno, the way it was all framed, I really think the audience was supposed to have that feeling. I don't think they really emphasized how boring and shitty his life is in the scene previous when he was having that call... if they'd made it seem even more shite, I would have felt like he deserved some action.
Like I would have totally been on his team. But he interrupted her enjoyment of that classic grape stomping I Love Lucy episode, and it's just so accurate to real life. Right in the middle of you doing your thing, forgetting the burdens of the world, and having a good time, that's just the moment when a man is gonna step in and expect you to suck his stupid dick.
28:42 "But I don't kiss on the mouth." ... "Neither do I." That's one of the scenes I referenced earlier, but I've definitely never seen this movie because I don't recognize any of it at all. I've totally been raked over the coals in the past and likened to a hooker because of this iconic scene (I guess), since I absolutely freaking hate kissing. I'm glad to hear Richard Gere's character doesn't like it either. That's my kinda guy!
29:11 that's kind of a shitty shower head for such a nice hotel though.
30:40 she IS pretty as fuck though, it's totally true.
31:01 "I took the liberty of ordering everything on the menu..." Shut up and marry me.
35:11 the WHOLE WEEK, huh!? Well, okay let's see... that's $16,800. But since she went ahead and set the bar so low with $300 for an entire night... she pretty much fucked herself. So I guess she's gonna get like what, $6500 max?
36:00 so now they're talking price, she goes "6 full nights, days too"... so I'm guessing she's gonna come out at like $2000 after she does her stupid hooker math.
BAHAHAHAHA. $4000! It's so crazy because I almost wrote "4000" above, but I deleted it and went with 2000 instead just because I wanted to aim REALLY low. ROFLMFAOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guys. GUYS. Apparently I CAN DO HOOKER MATH!!!!!!
They just settled on $3000. Unfuckingbelievable. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT LEAST SIXTEEN FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS. What is this BULLSHIT!??!?!?!?!!?!?!!!!
36:10 she goes "HOLY SHIT!" like it's some kinda big score or something. Like, WHAT!? I guess they really are just flirting at this point cuz I mean, wow. What a jip. Realistically speaking, on some planet in a faraway galaxy, I MIGHT hang out with big badass businessman character guy for a week for free (all expenses/meals paid of course). But it's the principle of the fucking matter here.
36:50 "I would have stayed for $2000"... OH MY GOD, SHUT UPPPPPPP. "I would have paid 4." Well I should fucking hope so. This is just... agh. I can't.
The movie's starting to look familiar now too. Is it possible I've seen it after this point? I hope not.
37:30 she's like creaming her bathrobe over $3000. I cannot. It could have been $16,000, Vivian you ignorant slut.
38:30 this hooker buddy of hers is gonna get her in trouble, she should have just left her in the dust.
39:30 here's the lead-up to the iconic shopping scene and the second song referencing being wild.
41:37 roflmfaolol this will FOREVER remind me of the iconic opening scene from Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion about the "Sad, sad music as she leaves"... the clip used to be on YouTube but they removed it, lol. That was one of my favorite movies as a kid.
42:50 is this guy trying to cockblock Mr. Lewis? (I've finally learned Richard Gere's character name lmao.)
44:15 awww, he's gonna help her, that's so sweet!!!
50:28 she looks positively dashing. TBH, that's not the most non-slutty dress I've ever seen but whatever.
51:20 oh great, they're gonna make this dinner situation embarrassing somehow aren't they... *facepalm*
52:20 granddaddy's got her covered, love it. This does look familiar though. Is it possible I've seen this movie before? Probably so. Ah well, it's a good thing I've smoked too much weed in my time to really remember. There are definitely benefits.
53:30 re: eating the mint leaf, roflmfao now THAT was funny.
54:46 well, I can tell he's gonna need that knob gobbled tonight, cuz that shit didn't go well!?
56:00 kissing isn't "personal", it's just gross and dumb.
58:10 aha, here's the piano scene I remember too.
59:20 *stomach growls*
59:50 "Uhhh, security? Some guy is about to bang a prostitute in the ballroom!"
Didn't they literally rip off this whole piano playing thing in 50 Shades of Grey? Lmao.
1:01:40 LOL, he's about to kick their dicks in the dirt... I love it.
1:04:13 "Who ordered PIZZAAAA?!" roflmfaolol so epic.
1:04:34 I love this scene where she goes in and rubs those original snotty salesladies' faces all in it.
1:05:20 so after this incredible high note, I'm guessing there's a falling out to be expected soon?
1:06:20 "I got this idea from a hooker, Phil."
(Drinking game! Take a shot every time I say 'hooker' or 'iconic'. Actually, no, don't. Alcohol poisoning is serious.)
1:09:00 that's a great dress to wear to such a function.
1:10:05 oh my gosh, I think I remember something about the plot... isn't it this Phil asshole who says something super mean to or about Vivian and causes a rift?
1:12:00 uh oh, he sees his opportunity at division!
1:16:11 Richard Gere has a great ass though... more like Richard Rear, amirite!?!?!
1:16:45 oh whatever, just dominate her. She just needs to be tied up for a little bit, she'll get over it.
1:17:20, honestly I miss her already.
1:18:08 okay fine, Richard Gere is hot, okay. HE'S HOT. FINE, OKAY.
1:18:20 lol I like the elevator/bellhop guy.
1:18:40 this movie's kinda making me wanna have sex, not gonna lie.
1:19:08 a bum magnet?! OMG, she's hobosexual too!? We have so much in common!!! Why do the bums always end up in Cali?? Ew.
1:19:40 "She was a hooker and made it sound so great." Exactly. See this is my problem with the whole thing.
1:21:50 oh now that's a nice necklace, I love the hearts. It's a perfectly chosen piece. It looks great on her, she really is gorgeous.
1:22:26 shit, you practically need a security detail walking around like that though, lmao!
1:24:10 this looks pretty cool, I've never been to the opera before. I'd definitely cry the whole time, I guess that's why they give you your own balcony with private seats.
1:24:40 OMG this is so weird... I remember I used to have a pair of opera glasses when I was a little kid. They were antique, and had like green marbling on them. No idea why we had opera glasses and I haven't thought of them since those days.
1:24:50 kinda lame that you have to use binoculars to watch the show though, like what the heck.
1:25:37 look at that fucking baller dress... WANT.
1:27:13 "She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance" rolfmaololol, GOOD ONNNNEEEEEE.
1:27:40 telling a Virgo not to go to work is like telling the sun not to rise, lmao.
1:28:15 that miniature pool table looks like fun, no BS.
1:30:35 that's the best kissing scene I've ever seen in a movie though, even I can admit that.
1:30:50 okay, enough. For real.
1:31:38 MAN, I think sex is retarded. I'm sorry but it just is. The whole entire thing is just so transparent to me now. There is ESPECIALLY no reason for old people to have sex.
1:32:03 HE DIDN'T SAY IT BACK!?!?!?>!?!!?!>1!?!?1/!!1/!?1.!. Okay. Let this be a lesson. NEVER be the first one to say it.
1:32:30 he got her an apartment AND a CAR?!?!?!? Holy SHIT. DAMN. I wasn't expecting all that. AND he's gonna leave her alone and go across the country? My God. Talk about the perfect fucking situation. Holy shit.
1:32:45 that sounds like a monumentally sweet deal... whoa. So much better than marriage or any crap like that. But just by her reaction I can tell she's not pleased with that arrangement. I'm gonna be real with you right now, this chick seems a little bit needy. Look at the smile on his face, he's clearly loving this idea. She really should just go along with it.
1:33:00 okay, her reaction is NOT cool. I mean I get it, she wants to latch on and be with him constantly or something. I just can't relate.
1:35:23 uh, no he fucking didn't. God I just want to powder my pimp hand and slap this bitch so hard.
1:38:08 this is so unrealistic. Her hooker friend would be trying to do anything she could to undermine Vivian's success and bring her back down to work the streets because misery loves company.
1:39:32 FUCK OFF, PHIL, WHY ARE YOU MAKING THE MAN ASK YOU TWICE?!?!?!?!?!?!?
1:40:40 this Mr. Lewis guy is totally makin' me wanna bang right now.
1:42:30 oh my God what is this CREEPY freaking Phil asshole doing showing up at the hotel?? OMG, is he gonna try to rape Vivian???
1:43:32 pft, dude whatever... I'd have been calling security as soon as that guy walked through the door.
1:44:16 dude this guy has LOST his MIND, oh my God, thank GOD Richard Gere came in. Wow just wow. What the FUCK!?!?!?1
1:44:40 he needs to press charges, like now. For real.
1:46:00 umm, not if he doesn't introduce you as a hooker, lmfao.
1:54:50 awww, now that is sweet. So glad I'd never seen the whole movie before.
Pretty enjoyable, great ending.
Well it's Saturday night, and I'm apparently about to spend the remainder of it watching this movie, since it's 2 hrs. long and it always takes me at least twice the length of the movie to review and commentate on it.
Full movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L84RQH1xZvE
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pretty_Woman
I think the main question here is really like...
Why? Why am I watching this movie? I wish I had a good answer, but nah.
The other question I have is... who the heck is this movie geared toward? Were there a lot of prostitutes in the '80s and '90s who needed a movie about hooker hope?? I shudder to think.
What value could a girl like me find in a movie like this? I dunno, I guess we'll see.
Out of the gate, I will admit that the only scene I know from this movie is the iconic "I've got money to spend in here!" scene. And I vaguely remember a scene about no kissing being permitted, and I also seem to remember a scene of Richard Gere sitting at a piano. So. Have I seen this movie before? Shit, I hope not, cuz if so I just wasted $3.99!? If I've seen it before, it had to be YEARSSSS ago, so it should basically be like new to me. Lol.
Let's begin.
0:40 oh wow, it's Jason Alexander! I never knew he was in anything besides Seinfeld! I have his autograph! He's a cutie. 0:46 you know what, he kinda reminds me of Peter Falk with the way he moves and stuff... never noticed that before.
(Not even a minute in and I'm already pausing and Googling totally unrelated things to satisfy my curiosity and random thought excursions. BTW, yes, of course I have closed captions on. Of course I do.)
1:07 I dunno, this movie is already kind of magical and low key charming. Does it go without saying that this movie is really well done? I'm impressed though.
I'm just wondering, like... what's the story here?? Is this the 'rich businessman rents a hooker' thing we hear about in ho mythos?? I'm intrigued.
2:21 you know, she seems charming. I really dig the look of a french braid, but I don't have 6 arms Hindu goddess style and I don't have 5 million years to spend on the shit!
3:15 why is the lawyer guy tending to this rich business dude (and the whole party for that matter) like he's a freaking butler or something?? *clutches pearls*
3:30 it's kinda funny, I guess in the 80s and early 90s these kinds of cars were bigshot cars, but I swear growing up I saw at least like 5 or 6 teenage boys driving these cars around as their first ever vehicles, lmao, right!?
4:15 okay we have some street walkers going on here. Things are starting to look promising! I just wonder HOW he meets Julia Roberts' character?! The movie isn't looking familiar so far, so I'm just really hoping I've never seen it.
4:28 this movie kiiiiinda glamorizes the hooker lifestyle though, everything all colorful and fast paced with fun music and stuff... meh. Yeesh. Ick! I'm almost feeling like this movie was part of some kinda cultural revolution/degradation agenda that went hand-in-hand with the popularization of rap music and sought to undermine the moral fortitude of the populace by playing up these dangerous and destructive lifestyles. Just a hunch though.
Like, rather than being a movie that was put out to comfort all the hoes living a life in 'the game', it's actually trying to make them curious about that life and give them a false sense of security with the notion that a Richard Gere might come along and save them from being a hooker... you know, Captain Save-A-Ho style.
4:38 look at those bitchin' panties... I mean they make it all look so great, don't they? Hmmm. Suspicious.
4:47 whoa, the fuzz on that arm made me question if that's a dude or a chick. Don't get me wrong, I think Julia Roberts is very a *cough*PRETTY WOMAN*cough* but I feel like the lighting with the lamp or whatever really accentuated some details that we could have done without. So okay, the alarm's going off to wake her up AT NIGHT, so I'm guessing she's "working the blade" at a late hour... she's a nighttime hooker, between the hours of what, 8PM and 2AM?? I know from watching prostitution documentaries that the best hours to work the streets are between 3-6AM, so she really needs to up her game.
4:58 um, PLEASE tell me he's not ACTUALLY cruising the streets looking for a hooker. I really hope they meet in some other way, like something quirky or whatever. Not a single woman alive wants a man who actually goes for hookers, like come on.
And I'm not hating on Richard Gere or anything, but I wish somebody else could have played this character, like somebody who really makes bitches' panties wet. Maybe somebody like... I dunno, kinda devious looking. Maybe Michael Keaton? Well anyway, no matter.
So Richard Gere was 41 at the time of filming and Julia Roberts was 23. I wish she'd been like 30 or something... it's the older hookers in the game who REALLY need rescuing!!!
5:07 ooo, nice ingenuity there with the black marker fixing the scuffs on shoes, totally brilliant, I've been known to do that!
5:17 wait a second, that's not Julia freakin' Roberts is it? Is she wearing a wig or something!? It didn't even look like her eyes!
Ah yeah, it is her.
5:50 with this soundtrack it's like they're REALLY trying to drive home the point that she's "wild"... there was a lyrically similar song playing around the time of the iconic snotty shopkeepers scene too.
7:13 oh hey I like this guy, what have I seen him in before? Apparently his name is Hank Azaria. No idea.
8:04 oh hey, it's that super cute Lilith chick who I super loved from The Stand! Laura San Giacomo!
10:20 I can't believe they're ACTUALLY glamorizing sucking dick for money right now. Trying to make it look all cute... like, come on. They have all their teeth, they don't appear to be on drugs, I mean where is the realism here?
11:15 okay so the storyline is that he's gonna accidentally pick up this hooker because he's struggling along in that poor lawyer guy's manual like a tard? Okay, I can get behind that.
12:28 Vivian? Meh, I was thinking "Moonlight" or something magical like that, but okay.
13:18 honestly, he should be letting the hooker drive.
13:45 agh, thank God.
13:56 I meeean... it doesn't sound much better with her driving, but I guess let's just go with it.
I might need some Pop-Tarts for this.
14:28 they say $100 like it's a lot... I mean granted it was probably worth a lot more back in 1990 but it's still not near enough no matter what to suck some random dick, gross.
14:36 see this is my qualm with prostitution too, they make sooo much money, yet they're STILL on the streets? Even WITHOUT pimps. It's fucking ridiculous. That's why it's a lifestyle choice... it's a choice. That's why I have a problem with movies like this glamorizing it like it's okay or something.
14:50 ummm, she just like bold faced sexually harassed him though, somebody bring out the Karens cuz this is totally not okay. Problematic much?
15:15 whoa look at this hotass bellhop dude, oh my damn. Fuck!
15:30 uh oh, I feel a connection though. Like, no, Richard Gere, she probably won't be alright, you just had her drive like 5 miles from her corner, mkay. Get with the program. She's gonna need $100 to get back there.
15:45 meh, I guess Richard Gere is kind of okay looking, he's growing on me. By the end of the movie maybe I'll even think he's hot or something.
16:11 I don't WANT them to fuck, buuuuut... I kinda want them to fuck.
16:40 they kind of have decent chemistry, it's kind of cute.
17:10 it's... not that great, but yeah.
18:05 "First time in an elevator." Lmfao okay, I'm diggin' this guy. Good sense of humor. He's really playing this smooth.
18:50 you know what, SAAAAAME. Lmfao I guess cards on hotel doors have NEVER worked right. Rofl!!!!!!! This movie aged well, I gotta say.
19:17 this sounds like the opening of "One Of My Turns" (Pink Floyd) with the groupies/hookers.
19:56 I'm getting definite Virgo vibes from Richard Gere here, so maybe he really was excellently suited for this role. He is a Virgo in real life, no BS. Excellently done.
21:30 you can say I'm slow, that's cool, but I just now realized this is a classic manic pixie prostitute situation. Lmao.
21:50 she's making me slightly uncomfortable with her handsy-ness.
22:07 honestly bro, don't let her answer the door now, come on, word's gonna get around.
24:18 how much for the entire night?? Can't you do math, bro?? 8 hours, $800. I meeean... unless there's some kinda opportunity to charge beyond the normal rate presenting itself here. In that case I guess jack the price up?? I mean, he asked. Okay, Mr. Bigshot, that's gonna be $2k.
24:24 "You couldn't afford it." Is this a joke?? Like this whole scene is reading like a fan-fic or something, did we just step out of the known universe into some weird alternate reality, lmao, what IS this?! Are they just flirting or something? I don't get it.
24:28 "$300" ... "Done." ... THREE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO CHARGING BY THE HOUR?!!??!?!!??!?!?!!!? Okay, I knew we were in an alternate universe, but that just went one toke over the line into straight up tard land. Where are my FREAKIN' Pop-Tarts? What, is the night only 3 hours long now!? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!!?!??!! I'm pissed. *angrily opens strawberry Pop-Tart, AND blueberry too*
I'm SICK of these hoes UNDERCHARGING!!!!!!!!!
24:34 and she's got this look on her face like $300 for the ENTIRE NIGHT is some kinda big deal or something (ESPECIALLY when he's a RICH GUY?!), it's just absurd.
24:50 uh oh. Is she about to do drugs?? I was wondering when drugs were gonna come into play here. Wow, I actually wasn't expecting this though.
25:18 lol, oh, well, okay then. I meeeeaaaan. At least he was gonna kick her out though, I appreciate that. So I guess it's a subtle warning to the ho hopefuls who are gonna get hooker inspiration from watching this movie... it's fine to go be a prostitute, but STAY OFF THE DRUGS or Richard Gere is gonna kick you out of his hotel room!!!
26:30 big rich businessman life seems so boring and oddly stressful at the same time, what the eff!? *sips milk out of a huge mason jar*
27:00 I guess this is when it gets all '50 Shades of Grey' where he's watching her instead of the TV show, lmao.
27:10 wait a minute, is this the "It's time to suck my dick now" body language? Cuz I'm kinda feeling like it is. Time to play the skin flute I guess... pft, men. They're all the same.
27:34 you can tell she looks kinda disappointed... it's like that moment in a relationship when you realize "Oh, it's not actually about having fun or enjoying ourselves, that whole 'actual life' thingy is just the awkward time in between sex or sucking your dick." #relatable
28:12 [Vivian mutes television] lmao.
NGL, I'm kinda let down in this whole scene. I just kinda wish he'd never accepted any kind of sex acts from her... I dunno, the way it was all framed, I really think the audience was supposed to have that feeling. I don't think they really emphasized how boring and shitty his life is in the scene previous when he was having that call... if they'd made it seem even more shite, I would have felt like he deserved some action.
Like I would have totally been on his team. But he interrupted her enjoyment of that classic grape stomping I Love Lucy episode, and it's just so accurate to real life. Right in the middle of you doing your thing, forgetting the burdens of the world, and having a good time, that's just the moment when a man is gonna step in and expect you to suck his stupid dick.
28:42 "But I don't kiss on the mouth." ... "Neither do I." That's one of the scenes I referenced earlier, but I've definitely never seen this movie because I don't recognize any of it at all. I've totally been raked over the coals in the past and likened to a hooker because of this iconic scene (I guess), since I absolutely freaking hate kissing. I'm glad to hear Richard Gere's character doesn't like it either. That's my kinda guy!
29:11 that's kind of a shitty shower head for such a nice hotel though.
30:40 she IS pretty as fuck though, it's totally true.
31:01 "I took the liberty of ordering everything on the menu..." Shut up and marry me.
35:11 the WHOLE WEEK, huh!? Well, okay let's see... that's $16,800. But since she went ahead and set the bar so low with $300 for an entire night... she pretty much fucked herself. So I guess she's gonna get like what, $6500 max?
36:00 so now they're talking price, she goes "6 full nights, days too"... so I'm guessing she's gonna come out at like $2000 after she does her stupid hooker math.
BAHAHAHAHA. $4000! It's so crazy because I almost wrote "4000" above, but I deleted it and went with 2000 instead just because I wanted to aim REALLY low. ROFLMFAOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guys. GUYS. Apparently I CAN DO HOOKER MATH!!!!!!
They just settled on $3000. Unfuckingbelievable. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT LEAST SIXTEEN FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS. What is this BULLSHIT!??!?!?!?!!?!?!!!!
36:10 she goes "HOLY SHIT!" like it's some kinda big score or something. Like, WHAT!? I guess they really are just flirting at this point cuz I mean, wow. What a jip. Realistically speaking, on some planet in a faraway galaxy, I MIGHT hang out with big badass businessman character guy for a week for free (all expenses/meals paid of course). But it's the principle of the fucking matter here.
36:50 "I would have stayed for $2000"... OH MY GOD, SHUT UPPPPPPP. "I would have paid 4." Well I should fucking hope so. This is just... agh. I can't.
The movie's starting to look familiar now too. Is it possible I've seen it after this point? I hope not.
37:30 she's like creaming her bathrobe over $3000. I cannot. It could have been $16,000, Vivian you ignorant slut.
38:30 this hooker buddy of hers is gonna get her in trouble, she should have just left her in the dust.
39:30 here's the lead-up to the iconic shopping scene and the second song referencing being wild.
41:37 roflmfaolol this will FOREVER remind me of the iconic opening scene from Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion about the "Sad, sad music as she leaves"... the clip used to be on YouTube but they removed it, lol. That was one of my favorite movies as a kid.
42:50 is this guy trying to cockblock Mr. Lewis? (I've finally learned Richard Gere's character name lmao.)
44:15 awww, he's gonna help her, that's so sweet!!!
50:28 she looks positively dashing. TBH, that's not the most non-slutty dress I've ever seen but whatever.
51:20 oh great, they're gonna make this dinner situation embarrassing somehow aren't they... *facepalm*
52:20 granddaddy's got her covered, love it. This does look familiar though. Is it possible I've seen this movie before? Probably so. Ah well, it's a good thing I've smoked too much weed in my time to really remember. There are definitely benefits.
53:30 re: eating the mint leaf, roflmfao now THAT was funny.
54:46 well, I can tell he's gonna need that knob gobbled tonight, cuz that shit didn't go well!?
56:00 kissing isn't "personal", it's just gross and dumb.
58:10 aha, here's the piano scene I remember too.
59:20 *stomach growls*
59:50 "Uhhh, security? Some guy is about to bang a prostitute in the ballroom!"
Didn't they literally rip off this whole piano playing thing in 50 Shades of Grey? Lmao.
1:01:40 LOL, he's about to kick their dicks in the dirt... I love it.
1:04:13 "Who ordered PIZZAAAA?!" roflmfaolol so epic.
1:04:34 I love this scene where she goes in and rubs those original snotty salesladies' faces all in it.
1:05:20 so after this incredible high note, I'm guessing there's a falling out to be expected soon?
1:06:20 "I got this idea from a hooker, Phil."
(Drinking game! Take a shot every time I say 'hooker' or 'iconic'. Actually, no, don't. Alcohol poisoning is serious.)
1:09:00 that's a great dress to wear to such a function.
1:10:05 oh my gosh, I think I remember something about the plot... isn't it this Phil asshole who says something super mean to or about Vivian and causes a rift?
1:12:00 uh oh, he sees his opportunity at division!
1:16:11 Richard Gere has a great ass though... more like Richard Rear, amirite!?!?!
1:16:45 oh whatever, just dominate her. She just needs to be tied up for a little bit, she'll get over it.
1:17:20, honestly I miss her already.
1:18:08 okay fine, Richard Gere is hot, okay. HE'S HOT. FINE, OKAY.
1:18:20 lol I like the elevator/bellhop guy.
1:18:40 this movie's kinda making me wanna have sex, not gonna lie.
1:19:08 a bum magnet?! OMG, she's hobosexual too!? We have so much in common!!! Why do the bums always end up in Cali?? Ew.
1:19:40 "She was a hooker and made it sound so great." Exactly. See this is my problem with the whole thing.
1:21:50 oh now that's a nice necklace, I love the hearts. It's a perfectly chosen piece. It looks great on her, she really is gorgeous.
1:22:26 shit, you practically need a security detail walking around like that though, lmao!
1:24:10 this looks pretty cool, I've never been to the opera before. I'd definitely cry the whole time, I guess that's why they give you your own balcony with private seats.
1:24:40 OMG this is so weird... I remember I used to have a pair of opera glasses when I was a little kid. They were antique, and had like green marbling on them. No idea why we had opera glasses and I haven't thought of them since those days.
1:24:50 kinda lame that you have to use binoculars to watch the show though, like what the heck.
1:25:37 look at that fucking baller dress... WANT.
1:27:13 "She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance" rolfmaololol, GOOD ONNNNEEEEEE.
1:27:40 telling a Virgo not to go to work is like telling the sun not to rise, lmao.
1:28:15 that miniature pool table looks like fun, no BS.
1:30:35 that's the best kissing scene I've ever seen in a movie though, even I can admit that.
1:30:50 okay, enough. For real.
1:31:38 MAN, I think sex is retarded. I'm sorry but it just is. The whole entire thing is just so transparent to me now. There is ESPECIALLY no reason for old people to have sex.
1:32:03 HE DIDN'T SAY IT BACK!?!?!?>!?!!?!>1!?!?1/!!1/!?1.!. Okay. Let this be a lesson. NEVER be the first one to say it.
1:32:30 he got her an apartment AND a CAR?!?!?!? Holy SHIT. DAMN. I wasn't expecting all that. AND he's gonna leave her alone and go across the country? My God. Talk about the perfect fucking situation. Holy shit.
1:32:45 that sounds like a monumentally sweet deal... whoa. So much better than marriage or any crap like that. But just by her reaction I can tell she's not pleased with that arrangement. I'm gonna be real with you right now, this chick seems a little bit needy. Look at the smile on his face, he's clearly loving this idea. She really should just go along with it.
1:33:00 okay, her reaction is NOT cool. I mean I get it, she wants to latch on and be with him constantly or something. I just can't relate.
1:35:23 uh, no he fucking didn't. God I just want to powder my pimp hand and slap this bitch so hard.
1:38:08 this is so unrealistic. Her hooker friend would be trying to do anything she could to undermine Vivian's success and bring her back down to work the streets because misery loves company.
1:39:32 FUCK OFF, PHIL, WHY ARE YOU MAKING THE MAN ASK YOU TWICE?!?!?!?!?!?!?
1:40:40 this Mr. Lewis guy is totally makin' me wanna bang right now.
1:42:30 oh my God what is this CREEPY freaking Phil asshole doing showing up at the hotel?? OMG, is he gonna try to rape Vivian???
1:43:32 pft, dude whatever... I'd have been calling security as soon as that guy walked through the door.
1:44:16 dude this guy has LOST his MIND, oh my God, thank GOD Richard Gere came in. Wow just wow. What the FUCK!?!?!?1
1:44:40 he needs to press charges, like now. For real.
1:46:00 umm, not if he doesn't introduce you as a hooker, lmfao.
1:54:50 awww, now that is sweet. So glad I'd never seen the whole movie before.
Pretty enjoyable, great ending.