SECTUAL

S14 E13 - "Johnny Cross"

1:50 that's as bad as shooting a guy in the back.

2:46 I bet they're trying to kill this guy over something petty... I think they're jealous of him.

3:12 Doc sat out a lot of episodes there for a minute, but he's back now... nice to see him.

8:00 "Our deputy is badly in need of a deputy!" See, this was what I was wondering about. How do Festus and Newly get deputized at the same time when the Marshal isn't even there?? Can Festus deputize Newly?? Does Festus forgo his position as the deputy in order to deputize Newly??

9:40 oooohhhh, it's the super cute elf lookin' chick again... Kelly Jean Peters. This is her last of 3 appearances on the show.

11:40 so they're really not even gonna explain HOW he got deputized?

12:40 actually bro, she CAN'T "drop that innocent posing"... that's just how she looks. Lolol.

13:30 why are bounty hunters ALWAYS super abrasive assholes?? For real. Aren't there any friendly, charming bounty hunters??

24:20 this is the first episode where Newly is taking a lead official position... I really like it.

40:34 I personally love Newly in the deputyin' position. He's got balls of steel.

47:37 "All of it?" whoa DAMN, Matthew, that's downright fkn offensive!!!!!!

48:28 I can think of a few ways... *dancing banana*

S14 E14 - "The Money Store"

00:54 wow, tons of annoying people are just dropping in on this guy all of the sudden.

1:50 looool. I meeeeean. If somebody handed me a giant bag of cornmeal, I'd be pretty fucking stoked regardless of the circumstances.

7:00 well then, I guess the kids are just gonna have to get a job!

9:50 God... you really gotta be careful about the family you marry into.

11:38 lol oh God.

11:50 WTF, is he leaving AGAIN?????

21:33 instead of screaming like a couple of hysterical morons, they could have simply said "WE STOLE IT!" but naaaah. I'd give them up for adoption and get rid of the dog.

25:55 lmao. Agh. My God. I just can't. I flipping fucking cannot. I can't even. I'm not even gonna. Cuz I can't. I. Can't.

26:50 "Liver and eggplant." Roflmfaoflol, this part was hilarious. She looks like Shelley Long in this scene.

30:44 bitch whatever, I think he's doing a pretty good job. What the hell???

31:00 because they fucking ruin everything, and besides, you're 45?? (She's actually 50 here, she does look younger than that though.)

35:41 God I love that man.

42:20 lol @ Festus shuffle-running back over to the window.

48:28 it was a good ending... I was smiling.

S14 E15 - "The Twisted Heritage"

The title of this episode intrigues me.

0:11 the opening theme is still fire, even though I'll always be partial to the original 'duel' opening footage.

1:19 *barfs*

1:26 wow, somebody's trying to hitchhike on the stage?

1:44 ooo, damn, he's good looking... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Ericson

2:55 oh, you've had to do worse, Kitty, let's be honest.

7:00 oh Kitty, you make me wanna bang.

7:20 lol, Kitty's driving the stage. That looks hard.

11:38 Lisa Gerritsen is back again, lmao.

11:44 what in the holy hell?

14:04 it looks like they've got their own little town.

16:40 look at that bitchin' staircase... damn, that's a nice house. I'd be happy to live there with my asshole grandma, no problem! She's got plenty of other help, I'd be off on the prairie talking to myself all day, this kid's got it right!

20:18 shit, I'd eat that whole damn plate of bread by myself.

22:00 that guy looks like he has the fever.

35:50 these are some mangy backwoods fuckers right here.

(08-02-2022, 09:04 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: [ -> ]S14 E8 - "Abelia"
...

49:06 I'm tingling all over.

There was some moment around this timestamp where shit got REALLY intense, and I just think about it every now and then.

More of that hardcore Ken Curtis pure sex laced intensity that damn near scares the shit out of you.

Trying to find any one episode among this box set is an entire cluster of fucks...

I'm sure each episode title is probably printed on the respective DVD cases in the box set, but I took all the DVDs out and put them in my own carry case.

Eventually I'll have to index which episode is on which DVD, for library/archive purposes. I'll probably post it in this thread when I'm done.

They probably have no intentions of making another box set for a really long time...

Maybe in ~8 years when it's the 75th anniversary.

Hopefully they'll fix everything they got wrong on this box set...

I'm trying to make a comprehensive list of everything that either sucks or is just plain erroneous about it.

They need to step up their subtitles game on the next box set.

Don't make another box set unless you're gonna fix this shit.

I will detail everything wrong with it at the end of the review.

S14 E16 - "Time of the Jackals"

1:40 lol I love how they always have the outlaws kissing Matt's ass while they lay dying, like their egos are all swole cuz they got taken out by a legend.

2:55 isn't this BITCH one of Matt's old lovers?? No idea.

3:10 the weird thing is, I don't think it's even supposed to be the EXACT same chick... but she just always looks the same.

4:00 see, Festus is bestest, because he has enough sense to already be suspicious AF of this DAMN woman.

4:33 so I guess it IS supposed to be the same chick??? Her name is always some kinda "Lee" variation. Last time it was Leah, now it's Leona, etc. Well at least he doesn't have a TONNN of former love interests popping up all the time. A man's always got a past... his seems pretty respectable.

4:50 wait a second. Hold on hold on. Because Festus is convinced that it wasn't the Marshal's bullet, and I agree with him right off the bat. But... if it WAS his bullet, this means that she's the first chick Matt's ever officially shot. And it didn't even SHOW WHAT HAPPENED. Which I just CANNOT believe... I can't settle for that. The Marshal's first female kill needs to have an ENTIRE, INVOLVED story around it. Not just be some crap that happens off camera. Hopefully we'll find out that it really wasn't his bullet. HOPEFULLY. Cuz I've been waiting for him to shoot a chick since the beginning of the show, and if this is really it, I am gonna be disappointed.

6:55 "Why, that woman's gone from man to man like a bottle of cheap whiskey"... uh oh, somebody's about to get backhanded. He's right but I mean... if the Marshal's in the lineup then at least she has good taste.

9:24 "I wish I never would have given up that dick."

10:00 well, that's a relief!

10:16 see, that's my issue with this... even if she dies from complications, it's not the same as a straight up clean kill. This bitch better live, I'm so serious.

11:30 they're looking at Matt like he's lost dude cred. He's all soft over the old ball 'n chain up there in Doc's office. It ain't even right... he's losing his groove.

12:50 if Miss Kitty can't hook him, no one can, McSlutty. Now sheeeeeuuuudddup and go to sleep.

14:16 but didn't Miss Kitty meet her and even have to end up taking care of her for some other reason in the last episode she was in? So why is she acting like she doesn't know who she is??

15:08 the other guy probably shot her and she's just pretending like Matt did so she can get attention.

19:07 Newly and Festus are both wearing badges.

23:10 I think this is the first even semi-likable character Jonathan Goldsmith has ever played on the show, and just when I had been talking shit about him on that other episode not long ago.

25:35 it's Leslie Nielsen... I thought he looked familiar.

25:40 looks like she got moved over to one of Kitty's classy bedrooms while she recovers.

25:56 did I just see lesbian sparks fly??

26:00 check out the massive bump-up she's wearing in the back of that dress!!!!!!!!! It must be a dominance thing. Bwahahaha. Regardless, I'm telling you... reluctant and desirous lesbian sparks are flaring.

27:16 "But I've been at it now for 14 years..." OOOHOO HOOOHOOOO AHAAAAAH. Yyyyyuuuuupppp. Point taken, Miss Kitty. Man, I never thought of it like THAT before?!?!

29:18 Matt seems all weirded out that she's over at Kitty's... what's the fuckin' problem, MATT??

32:55 did you see how his eyes shot directly into the camera after he said that? I've seen him do that maybe once or twice before. There are these split seconds when he breaks the fourth wall. The other time was here... https://www.sectual.com/thread-18541-pos...#pid154324

33:10 "Pretty deep for a redhead." WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! Did he really just say that?!?!?!?!!!?!!?! https://imgur.com/a/4twLyr9

34:28 the perspective of this fireplace scene is pretty amazing.

34:38 I just didn't recognize Leslie Nielsen initially because I don't think I'd ever seen him so young before. His most famous roles are from the late '70s at the earliest, through the '90s and beyond. Iconic.

34:54 I dunno if I've ever even seen him play a serious role like this before... a bad guy. He seems like a great actor, TBH.

35:18 yeah this scene is scary AF!

35:25 his voice does sound the same, but kind of younger. He died in 2010 at age 84, and his last acting role appears to have been in 2009. He was in a tonnnn of movies and TV shows.

37:46 wow, check out this super legit Dodge City mud puddle aesthetic... https://i.imgur.com/uD3nLyC.png

38:27 it IS kinda dumb for him to just sleep in open sight like that, lol.

38:33 I would have just banged on the door and asked for help if I was this guy, lol.

39:30 ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh muh gawd. Ooooohhhhhhhh. <--- I just came. And you know exactly why.

43:30 is this lady seriously thinking about herself at a time like this?? Wow.

45:26 this is so eerie, I love it!!!

48:46 DAHAHAHAHAAAYYYUUUMMMMM. Wow, WOOOOOOWWWWWUH. I was NOT anticipating that level of badassery.

50:12 what an epic closing scene... God that was fire.

S14 E17 - "Mannon"

3:07 well as soon as they see this random weirdo guy riding Ruth, it's gonna be on.

5:05 most guest characters on this show aren't bonafide outlaws, but this guy definitely is.

5:23 God dang, this guy is one annoying son of a bitch. And I DO NOT say that lightly. I'm sure I've even said it before about some of 'em, but I take it all back.

5:33 I mean he is an ACTUAL fuckin' psycho. Like... this guy. THIS GUY. I *hate* it.

5:50 whew, Newly walks in wearing that badge and my innards tremble a little bit... seriously. And it's because he's such a nice guy. And I'm just thinking HOW is a nice guy gonna take a fucker like this on?? Then I remember, well, it IS Newly. Maybe he can really do it. I just... kinda feel bad for him. He's a brave character and has been from the start though.

It's just mindblowingly good. It really is, and it has been from the start. It's just hard to believe.

6:11 yeah, like the ENTIRETY of Dodge. How much of a fight is this guy really gonna put up??

6:37 Buck Taylor has a great voice.

7:00 ooooh. Oooo. Hooo. It's intense y'all... it's intense.

8:00 I gotta say, I'm glad they were willing to go out and try to track him down posse style... Nathan is still a dipshit (but getting more likable) and Newly is the only one of them with good sense. He follows his instincts. Newly is a great character.

8:40 Festus is such a great character too, Ken Curtis was such a legend in this role. It's all so damn brilliant.

9:28 I can tell by the look on his face that he sure isn't liking hearing about this Will Mannon fellow. He looks spooked AF.

10:08 I know it sounds like a wank thing to say, but I noticed the guy was fast too.

10:17 it's true, he's very fast... it's ridiculous how fast though. I will say... there is a difference between his technique and the Marshal's. I think Matt can take him.

10:30 I know he's been through it and all, but I feel like he's being honest about this. And if Festus is saying this kinda stuff, you know it's serious.

10:38 I agree to an extent but now I think he's just being low key dramatic. Still mostly agree with him but starting to doubt the narrative.

10:44 and as we all know, their method is to make a gunfighter 'lose his nerve'... it's like 60% a psychological takedown.

11:02 so he's just gonna go around and bully the whole town singlehandedly... got it. They all seem morbidly curious, lmao. It seems like half bravery, half needing to see what's going on.

11:10 ohhhh man. This has to be one of the baddest men ever to come to town. This guy is a NOT GOOD force of nature. He's like a... menacing hurricane. It's one thing to be a hurricane. It's another thing to be a menacing hurricane.

11:18 lol, lookit Nathan clutching his pearls. So many bitchboys in Dodge though. They're either halfway pussies, or they're alcoholics.

11:45 damn. See, we need more like Sam cuz Sam don't give a FUCK.

12:33 it just... keeps getting better. HOW DOES IT JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER?!?!?!?!??!?!!

13:03 see... did you see him sweat?? They're already starting to shake his nerve just by being brave/not giving a fuck.

13:22 Kitty's right though... now she's handling this OLD SCHOOL style. She didn't get where she is for nothing... she's seen some shit and navigated some delicate situations before.

13:40 Newly kinda needs to listen to them. They're not operating under normal circumstances with this guy around and they need more time to shake his nerve.

14:29 seems like he's going for the figures of the town as if he's gonna take it over or something. WTF is he even doing in Dodge anyway?

17:30 HOLY SHIT, Newly. Just. Newly. For real. This guy. I LOVE HIM. I love this character. God it's so perfect.

17:40 I meeean... is he wanted??? Cuz if not... I don't think Matt would really approve of that. Look at Doc mulling it over though, lol.

18:00 I think it would be interesting to see what the Marshal does.

18:18 we've heard her say that before... granted, not many times. But she's said it before.

18:27 did you see the flash in the bottom left corner of the frame?

18:33 this convo sounds really put on and theatery. I love it though.

19:02 ooo, what's that pink and blue stuff in the bottles?? That looks kind of modern.

19:37 he IS scary as shit though. You gotta admit that. You gotta hand it to him.

20:07 "I'm here to stay." Ohhhhh maaaan. I knew that's what it seemed like.

20:28 I can't believe this show. How is it so good??!!!!!!?

20:48 did you see how much that guy was sweating? Lol.

21:28 he didn't even actually show the cards. Aren't you supposed to show your cards?? What kind of an asshole is this guy?

23:30 ah well, I guess it was worth a try?!

24:00 ugh, he is just SOOOO EFFING CREEPY.

25:28 oh Lord. I don't know if I can take this. It's WAAAAY too creepy and doomy. This guy is a terror.

25:50 I wouldn't answer. Go ahead and break the window to get in. Who cares... you'll have been making a scene and you'll be the one looking like an asshole.

26:00 pretty sure she has grounds to kill him now.

26:10 wow, would you JUST LOOK at this creepy cracker.

26:24 I wouldn't have moved. I would have just stood there totally still the entire time.

27:03 her hair is ALL THE WAY DOWN. This is god level Miss Kitty.

27:11 still not the weirdest thing she's ever been through though, guaranteed.

27:20 it could still go to shit, it's only halfway through but... this is definitely one of the all time greatest episodes of Gunsmoke.

28:02 I don't really know what to say about this other than it looks like he hasn't bathed in a hot minute, and that's not great. But otherwise, things could be worse. It's best to be an optimist here.

28:50 you really gotta think about it though. If Kitty just shot that dude when he wasn't expecting it, SURELY it would be totally justified considering the circumstance. It's not like anyone would witness against her.

29:00 he's truly frightening... I think they nailed it with this character and he was excellently portrayed by Steve Forrest.

29:05 I can tell Kitty is planning to fight back just by the camera/scene shift.

29:19 this guy is seriously the devil... Kitty's in a spot. This is kinda really bad, lmfao, it's not looking great, for real. I'm starting to think Kitty might get violated.

29:58 you gotta keep in mind, half of this is small talk as a deflection attempt. Anything that buys more time provides opportunities for him to lose his nerve.

30:33 I guess that's why they call her Miss Kitty.

31:07 oh my God... I do NOT like what that scene fade and doomy music implies. I think we all know what happened and I feel like that's a definite first on the show. Kitty's been in some shit before, but that was the first time something that hardcore has ever gone down.

31:56 "I had an itch and scratched it too hard." Yeeeeesh. Yeeeeesh, Doc's like WTFFF.

33:40 he's probably lost some nerve in this process though, so there is still a silver lining here. He's definitely shook.

35:10 I'm sure she's been through this before, like on a riverboat or something. Either way... IMO it's such a transparent way to incite Matt, and I feel like it's an offensively cheap trick.

35:50 "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Newly." But nah their concern is understandable, lol.

36:40 Matt is gonna fucking kill this guy.

41:07 "Matt Dillon's a man." OOOOOOOOO DAAAAAMMMMMNNN.

41:48 "You did with me." OOOOOHHOHOHOHOOHOOOOHOHOOOOOHHHHH *DAMMMMNNNNN*!!!!!!!

He's officially shook.

42:18 [forced chuckle] roflmfao.

43:33 shooketh.

44:00 ohhhh my God. That was THE COLDEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. EVERRRRR.

This is one of the Top 5 Greatest Gunsmoke Episodes.

Midway through Season 14, Gunsmoke reached all new heights.

Epic, all new heights. I don't really see how that episode could be outdone, from here on out.

Five seasons left, there will be more great episodes... but this has to be the absolute apex.

S14 E18 - "Goldtown"

0:50 it's always so nice to see the main characters fully recovered from their gunshot wounds etc. in the very next episode, lol.

2:00 fkn Merry Florene and her weirdo brother/cousin are back... they cause so much havoc and the townspeople are too light on them by allowing them back.

2:30 he says that like they're just worthy of a slap on the wrist... they damn near killed the general store owner in their first appearance. You don't make quirky recurring characters out of those types.

3:28 finally somebody's doing the right thing.

8:50 these guys are so dumb, it's great!!! They're always scheming but they're still naive somehow!!!

11:14 I'm almost starting to enjoy Elbert Moses in some weird kind of way.

18:50 you know what, she kind of reminds me of Joy (Jaime Pressly) from "My Name Is Earl" (2005). If her hair was blonde, she would even kind of look like her.

19:14 "A girl doesn't go around wanting to know why some fella isn't sparking her."

20:38 gaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssppppppp. I've NEVER seen a main character suck face like that before.

20:50 oh COME ONNNNNN. Was there ever really a contest between Festus and Newly in this girl's mind?? Hell no. She's ALWAYS wanted Newly. I guess it's uncool because Festus is the one who REALLY likes Florene, and Newly really doesn't.

21:47 great scene... love the Derringer advert in the background. It can even technically be considered product/brand placement, however it's so time-period appropriate that I don't have a problem with it.

23:40 now Festus has taken up saying his own version of "mmhmm." They put a lot of emphasis on it too. I guess it just comes with the marshaling and deputyin' territory.

25:42 "Fair enough." roflolol.

26:50 it's important not to clean up the language on the subtitles when it comes to Festus or any other instance of specialty vernacular. There is no reason for it. Type out what he says verbatim, whether it makes sense or not. It's an important part of getting his tone across to people who can't hear what is being said.

27:27 oh these guys look mean!

28:25 will this be when Festus finally learns to read and write?

29:10 it's fricken JAN BRADY!!!!!!!!!

29:50 this Granny character is kiiiind of incredible.

40:30 roflmfaololol.

45:30 lol @ the dust cloud when she thwacked him!!! This episode is by far the best involving these guest characters.

48:22 I still just love to stare at the Marshal's mouth when he talks, the way he says his 'S' words really gets me going... *heart eyes*

GUNSMOKE IS THE #1 GREATEST SHOW OF ALL TIME

F U C K I N G I N C R E D I B L E

b i i i i i i i i i i i i i i t c h e s s s s s s s

S14 E19 - "The Mark of Cain"

0:33 lmao lmao lmao lmao.

1:00 I legitimately thought that was Cleavon Little for a second!!!

1:23 this is WITHOUT A DOUBT about to be a legendary episode. AGAIN.

2:06 is this the DODGE HOUSE?!? They should've had the Marshal over there immediately.

2:17 awww, this fella is so brave and it's just adorable!

2:21 OMG I just realized Nehemiah Persoff is in this episode, I LOVED his other appearance!

3:30 oh my WORRRRDDDDD, shit just got real.

4:28 WHERE THE HECK is Marshal Dillon???

4:42 ahhhhh, okay... so we've got another TBI situation here then?! These characters are always wildcards!

7:20 the lady has a point.

8:20 another one of Doc's all time greatest moments. I love how his character just tells shit like it is!!!

10:10 I mean, that looks GOOD. But these guys are such brutes!!!

10:18 lmfao this guy's always sitting there asleep with the open wallet full of money on his lap... https://i.imgur.com/Y1Zm7a3.png

10:24 he sounds like me when I'm eating!!!

10:40 he really did find one!!! How much are they worth though??

11:30 well this should be pretty easy?!

12:34 ooohhhh shit! That's a plot twist if I'm not mistaken!!!

15:02 this entire scene in the jail has been ABSOLUTELY EPIC. Masterfully done... it was perfect, without a single hitch. Everyone played their part perfectly... perfect timing, movements, line delivery. Absolutely everything was perfect.

16:16 they really did though... that shit was fate, 100%.

17:00 five years is not that long... they came as strangers, nobody knows about their lives. It's totally him.

18:28 Tom is sooo cute. Who is that guy?? Kevin Coughlin... he died in 1976 at the age of 30. This is his first of five appearances on the show between '69 and '75.

Quote:Jan 21, 1976: Kevin Coughlin, an actor, died Monday in Los Angeles from injuries received in an automobile accident.

In fact, Gunsmoke was his final role. I think it's really fascinating.

21:10 it's true they were kinda being gossipers and sheeple just then.

21:30 I love it when Festus takes charge and gets demanding.

22:33 "Like my Grandma Tupper used to say... she used to talk kind of high and squeakedy, like two tree limbs a-rubbin' together, and I recollect her sayin' on her very deathbed, she said, 'Thangs don't never die, they just get worse.'"

23:55 Kitty lookin' like a snack bringin' a snack, amirite!!?!?!!!!!!!!

24:20 "You know, it just doesn't fit." That's what she said... *dancing banana*

25:10 you know, I'm kind of with Miss Kitty on this one. I get that this chick is going through a hard time and all, but she shouldn't just act like he's 100% evil or something. Besides, you KNOW she saw that scar! WTF did she think it was?? You see a scar like that, and you know a man's had a dark history he ain't necessarily told you about. For real. I'm just saying, she shouldn't have been clueless.

26:20 Kitty's right. Beautifully stated too.

26:47 "Go ahead and JUMP!"

27:04 you know what, this scene is AMAZING... notice how they're just standing back there silently mouthing their conversation, then Nathan starts audibly speaking in the background, with super intentional timing. Again, it reminds me of a play. I love it.

27:36 Doc just verbally pimp slapped Nathan.

28:00 this is one of Doc's best episodes. In my personal favorites, it's definitely in his top 3. It's also an excellent episode over all.

30:03 EVERY character has only the best lines... for real. Especially the guest characters, they made them extra captivating and it works.

31:33 it's intense, but in a different way than that S12 intensity. This is PERFECT intensity.

36:02 this is a crazy story, yo, this episode is nuts... *nods*

38:07 thank God, that was getting a little bit melodramatic.

39:56 that creepy tan jacket guy who walked by at 9 o'clock is totes gonna be trouble.

42:08 he would not have fallen for that.

45:50 y'all this is just fucked up... I don't even know what to say.

47:24 alright so here's another time marker. The President is Ulysses S. Grant...

Quote:Served as the 18th president of the United States from 1869 to 1877.

Do you mean to tell me that it is STILL circa 1877 in the Gunsmoke universe!?!?!?!?!???!?1

47:30 "between 1861 and 1865"... and he said it had been 10 years, so it's 1871 at the earliest and 1875 at the latest!!!!!!!

47:53 Alphonso Taft was Attorney General between May 22, 1876 – March 4, 1877... so that is precisely the timeframe of the Gunsmoke universe, apparently for the past 14 years/seasons!?

50:10 such an epic episode... another top 10. Although I haven't tallied up how many "greatest" episodes there are yet, so we might be over 10 by now!?

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Gunsmok...ion-series

This source says the show was set in "the 1890s"... but it's totally not. Every date referenced on the TV show so far has been ~1876...

https://www.sectual.com/thread-18541-pos...#pid153918

https://www.sectual.com/thread-18541-pos...#pid155804

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Series/Gunsmoke

This source states that the timeframe is never really settled on... it seems to go back and forth.

I've concluded that some episodes seem to suspend the passing of time in the Gunsmoke universe in order to tell a certain kind of story.

S14 E20 - "The Reprisal"

1:08 this guy oughta know he's not gonna just be walking down the street all safe and secure after he wins that much money. He needs a few bodyguards at the least.

1:26 shit, I'd be going to the Dodge House and then straight to the bank in the morning.

3:32 lol, Festus is in his undies... *heart eyes*

4:38 is Doc gonna pay Kitty for this? What?! Just curious!!?!

6:27 this part reminded me of those early Boot Hill intro days, but like a Festus version.

7:56 ugh my God, this is horrible man. It seriously is though. Fuck all that. Fuck it so much.

8:58 I do NOT envy Miss Kitty right now. Honestly, Doc should have just let that dude die, he knew he'd just be waiting for the rope anyways. I hate to say it but I think Doc kinda made a mistake here... the farmer guy is gonna be REALLY mad at him.

9:16 "You know something, Matthew, I wouldn't be a doctor if you paid me!" I agree though.

14:55 Festus just used the word "larping" to describe the food.

15:43 that's solid Festus logic... you can't argue with it.

21:55 they make his thoughts and intentions so palpable.

23:50 that horse has some badass studded leather straps.

31:00 if I were this chick, he would have me totally freaked out at this point... I'd run like hell for sure.

31:37 definitely an upsetting situation, and everybody in town knows this is going on.

32:34 HAH, oh HELL no! Fuck this guy.

32:54 hoooo, my God. OWNNNEEDDDD. Owneddd. Muhfucka just got HOUSED.

33:13 dick, meet dirt.

34:00 *standing ovation* That was ICONIC. Fire.

34:20 somebody's been dumping some epic into the sauce.

37:40 I get that they're all upset, but Louie is just being ridiculous. If the Marshal was in town, they wouldn't be acting fools like this.

39:06 that was like... clickbait of the 1960s. It was a cheap shot, and I feel betrayed. But it's fine, it's almost kinda like getting trolled by Gunsmoke.

40:00 straight fur and leather bags man, those were the days!

43:30 dude this is a monumental fuckup by the people of Dodge City.

44:17 this situation is just going from bad to worse, LMAO.

47:10 she wasn't wrong to be leaving... she just got interrupted.

49:07 I love it when he dances... so hot. Festus reminds me of Kokopelli or Pan...

Quote:1. Kokopelli is the Dancer and the Jester. Pan is the Dancer and the Lover. ... Both are fond of sensual pleasure, and thrill in seduction.

2. There is a connection between Kokopelli and Pan. Both provide through their music a link for humanity to the rest of nature. Also between the one's horns and the other's antennae, they are both pretty "horny" characters.

49:25 OMG Festus is telling them how to make and use a pendulum... hillpeople magic.

49:47 This is gorgeous... https://i.imgur.com/SRTgkmP.png He was all Ken Curtis for a second there!

Great ending, it was a mood change up... definitely made my list of favorite Festus moments.

S14 E21 - "The Long Night"

1:26 her man is sexy as fuck, there's no way I'd let this scrawny dude kill my hotass man.

3:16 lol, it's "Good Morning, With Festus and The Marshal" rofl, I think the point is that Festus is being so loud to begin with, then he's trying to creep by. It's very funny. Roflmfao @ him stomping the boots, and the spurs jingling, roflmfaololo. I've rewatched this part like 5 times and it's so great... https://imgur.com/a/yF6qNMY

Season 14 has been superb, especially the second half.

4:57 this is sooo fucking funny. Lmao. The washing basin. Roflfmaololol. He acted like it stung when he stuck his fingers in and he put precisely two drops on his face, roflmfao!!!!!

5:07 "Oh! You're awake, are ye?"

6:55 this lady has apparently voiced a lot of cartoon characters... https://voice-actors-from-the-world.fand...Susan_Silo

16:55 Kitty's really been having a hard time with these outlaw assholes lately... very rapey situations.

18:35 I feel like he'll throw Louie into a homicidal rage if he pulls a stunt like that one more time.

20:33 honestly, these guys aren't that memorable. They're decent bad guys but not anything outstanding yet.

24:27 sometimes you just know crazy in a man's eyes!!!

25:09 I meeean, at least a couple at this point, lmao!!! I'm just saying. It's happened before.

25:33 Newly suddenly looking all sexy and buff!?? I guess this is what happens when you're left in charge and exposed to that metal badge.

29:04 Louie is without a doubt THE WORST main character to play. His character's life is super dismal and tormented.

29:50 pft, fuck that. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even want it that bad.

31:40 bitch whatever, I know some dudes who would have done it lightning fast, and been up on their feet like, yo, where's my drink?! Louie's just not enthusiastic enough. He doesn't OWN it. You gotta really own it, and make it work for you.

35:50 dude, so it occurs to me that this is Russell Johnson, The Professor from Gilligan's Island... lol, you know, the show that got cancelled a few years back so Gunsmoke could stay on air?! Lol. I just think it's funny, considering his role in this episode.

39:16 that's a lot of peeps on horses man, I'm thinking they're outnumbered!?!

41:47 Mr. Wade is NOT gonna be down for this. I'm thinking somebody's about to get dealt with.

48:00 God that was a PERFECT setup. I cannot believe how epic it was. Just brilliantly arranged.

Y'all, that was crazy. Such a strong episode, so much pleasure. Gunsmoke just keeps winning.

S14 E22 - "Night Riders"

Oh this sounds good!!!!!!!!!!!!

0:28 wow these outlaws cause soooo much destruction thoughhhh!!!!!

2:06 is this even modern Dodge?? It seems like a flashback to the 1820s or something.

3:00 why does this guy have so many hotties helping him!? Robert Random is back in this episode, and I absolutely love it... he's sooo fine.

4:17 damn, this little dude really gets himself worked up, huh?!

4:27 Festus just found a mostly white kitten. So what does this animal omen mean?? It's cute and cuddly so it can't be anything bad can it!? Let me see... what would I guess this is supposed to mean. Maybe there will be a female in this episode who woos him, or maybe there will be a super emotional male troublemaker. Something like that. https://i.imgur.com/ioGgzm6.png

6:57 Gunsmoke still remains a pro-cat show, which I really appreciate. We see dogs EVERYWHERE... I'm glad one show is choosing cats instead. Cats really are way more my speed.

7:50 he should have put it in the alley instead.

9:14 "You better back off, little feller." Roflmfaolol, see.

17:00 Sam gives his backstory in some detail, it's a great defining moment for his character.

18:28 pretty badass moment for Festus as a lawman.

21:46 "We're a little shy of menfolk in Dodge right now." That's what I've been saying too.

35:50 there is definitely a powerful moral to this story.

42:30 I notice Miss Kitty conveniently skips town whenever she can, just before these super rowdy events go down in Dodge.

S14 E23 - "The Intruder"

0:45 this one is starting out with some pretty ominous music!

2:33 I love the episodes with Festus as the lead lawman. All that authority adds a whole new dimension to his sex appeal.

7:33 quite sometime back I had discussed how episodes that rely mostly on Festus can be really intense. I'm getting that same feel from this episode.

7:48 "They're more important than any amount of money." Oh whatever, this guy is full of shit, talkin' a line of shit.

9:27 he CANNOT be falling for this shit again.

10:44 man that dress really does have a great shape in the chest.

11:28 he and this lady must know each other.

11:40 check out this badass 1800s recliner!!!

13:00 yeah this must have been his woman before he went to jail and now she's married or something like that.

14:30 she's presenting this kid like it's his son.

18:46 well shit, maybe I was wrong.

19:34 I think that's fair enough.

20:04 oh man, Festus really is falling for it... he's lost in the weeds. It's too bad, but I guess it could happen to anybody.

20:17 he probably IS, but he's still diabolical and super dangerous. He will try to get away whether he's dying or not.

20:55 this guy is right to be mad though... if he rode into Dodge, they certainly could have taken this asshole into Dodge. I don't buy the whole "can't be moved" line of shit.

21:28 why didn't Festus tell him to get Doc Adams earlier if Dodge is that close?

23:43 I think he knows they know each other.

27:20 to be honest... I think this is a case of TRUE love right here.

28:40 this is a crazy situation.

30:20 this guy is an asshole extraordinaire, but you gotta admit, he's getting a raw deal on this one.

30:50 it would make sense he becomes a murderer himself after he was trying to be all high and mighty.

47:50 there's Marshal Dillon for his cameo... lol. I appreciate that he was in every single episode though... it was necessary.

S14 E24 - "The Good Samaritans"

1:11 "peach fuzz" lmao, damn, this guy is an asshole.

6:30 so it looks like we've got the first instance of racist reactions toward black people here in this episode. There have been countless episodes where characters are racist toward Indians. I really can't stand any kind of racist talk so I hope they don't go nuts with it. Sitting through all the racist characters shit talking Indians was bad enough.

6:50 these crackers are definitely about to get dealt with. This just reminds me of Blazing Saddles... this episode was in 1969, so 5 years before Blazing Saddles came out. I feel like Gunsmoke may have had a tip of the hat in Blazing Saddles at one point or another, but I may have missed it since I've never seen the show before this year. I'll have to rewatch Blazing Saddles with that in mind. Been meaning to actually buy the movie on DVD for a few years now, you never know if it'll be banned someday.

7:42 I dunno, I think Cato needs to follow his heart on this one.

9:23 "Just pray and believe. And do." This is the second episode where they're instilling this idea... with these characters though, there's no bullshit fluff around it. So that means that they're in support of the message, but they like to show the contrast around how it can be good and bad, depending on the person's intentions.

9:45 I can tell by the faith based references to God/prayer that Marshal Dillon is going to be championing for these people, but since he's been hit, they're also going to be protecting and fighting for him. That's what I assume at this point, plotwise. It's the good guys against the bad guys... but there are like 2 bad guys and 7 or so good guys.

11:11 hmmm, this group of folks doesn't seem to be entirely united though. I'm guessing 2 or 3 of them will go their own way, so by the end of it, there will only be like 4 people on the "good guys" team.

12:40 he's right though, God really does have a sense of humor... a great one, at that. I think laughter is medicine for a reason... good humor and comedy comes from God.

15:26 it's the beautiful Lynn Hamilton... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynn_Hamilton_(actress) I know I recognize her from a role that had to be around this time, the 1970s basically. She was a regular in another show, or maybe I recognize her from a movie... not sure, I just know I've seen her a lot.

18:40 the music has definitely taken on a more modern sound... but it's all thickass '70s basslines, so there's no way to dislike it, lol.

24:37 OMG I just realized he's shirtless under there... *heart eyes* HAVE WE EVER EVEN SEEN HIS BARE SHOULDERS BEFORE!??!!?!?1

25:08 OMG, straight up verified... this has gotta be the first time we've ever seen even the upper half of his chest bare. This is crazy. Maybe they'll show us MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

25:49 so here's a time marker... they cite it as "nigh on 9 years" since the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863. Seems it's always around 1875 at the latest in the Gunsmoke universe. It's never plainly stated WTF year it is. The early Boot Hill intros show a lot of '80s on the grave markers... https://i.imgur.com/e9kCik7.png But every reference intentionally made has always placed the year at no later than 1876.

27:17 that was really smart.

27:22 hoot owl sound... maybe that's an omen?? Seems like a good one though. We'll see... but it definitely had meaning.

27:58 OMG, we almost saw some nipple... ALMOST. I think we just barely got a split second glimpse of one nipple. Come on now... come on, just give us a little bit. Just a little bit more.

28:16 they're making sure not to show his nipples, as far as I can tell. He's making sure to hold the blanket up and not let too much show.

29:10 Benji needs to join up with the rest of the group, whatever their squabbles are need to be put behind... if anybody finds him out there alone, it'd be bad. The only reason he's not with them is because of the woman that multiple dudes are in love with. Slavery may have ended... but the slavery between men and women in "love" never ends. What a crock... love is so dumb, everyone has been so brainwashed for SO LONG to give away their freedom to another person under the guise of romance. It's bullshit. And in this case it might cost Benji his life.

29:30 those shoulders... *drool* There's GOTTA be some full shirtless nudity from James Arness SOMETIME during the run of this show. THERE HAS TO BE.

30:12 aww, dammit, he's already dressed again. Sigh.

30:22 those Bibles with the gold/gilded pages. Agh. I love that. Here's one of those highlighted passages Bibles with the gold pages... https://www.amazon.com/Rainbow-Study-Bib...1087722039 Apparently it's called "thinline" and gold gilded pages are the standard.

32:50 so I guess she never even agreed that she was his woman to begin with. Which makes the Benji situation even sadder because there's no conceivable reason for him to be out there on his own at all. He seems much more stable than Cato. He needs to be in the group. This lady should demand it... what would they say?? No?? Come on. She's too nice to be demanding though.

33:37 like I feel bad for Cato, I get that he loves her and all... but they're pretty much in a fight for survival up in this bitch, and it's no time for division. They can be all divided and whatever AFTER they get to Oregon... not now.

34:22 he's just starting to seem like the bad seed at this point.

34:46 there's the owl again.

35:25 at least he has a gun... he better be willing to use it.

35:38 that was close. You know those assholes are gonna find these two.

43:48 [owl hooting]

46:44 Juba and Benji are awesome.

S14 E25 - "The Prisoner"

1:20 wasn't this same guy in the other episode about bad water too? Hey, that's Jon Voight, he HAS been on the show before! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Voight It wasn't him in the other bad water episode though, apparently it was somebody else.

1:33 damn he's fine as hell... you know what, he DOES sorta look like Angelia Jolie. I absolutely can see the resemblance in the mouth area. Kind of interesting. Angelina and her brother James Haven do look like their dad.

1:55 and you know what else, the combination of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie somehow made Shiloh Pitt look even more like her grandfather... https://i.imgur.com/cHvs5MG.jpg

3:00 I guess Newly is deputized right now, but Festus isn't.

4:10 save the sexy people... let that guy go free.

5:08 hoooooooly crap. Wowwwwwwww. I did NOT expect that.

5:20 now they've REALLY gotta let him go.

6:11 oh she's alright, she's just a little wet!!!!!! *dancing banana*

9:40 Kitty's gonna advocate for that sweet piece of meat.

15:00 "Sam... bring in a fresh deck." Oooooohhhhhh, KITTY!!!!!!!!!! I wanted you before, but now I want you baaaaaad gurl. Kitty's about to play CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

15:30 oh I GET IT. She's gonna play for the prisoner. Holy crap.

15:40 "Sam... bring in the chips, please." *staredown*

15:48 he's worth it though... he'd definitely lay the pipe on you if you win.

15:50 it's even showing her shuffling. I just came. Twice.

15:58 that looks like a heart shaped amethyst. *rewind*

God, this show. I just cannot even believe it's STILL GOOD. It's NOT good. It's fucking GREAT.

14:47 this is WICKED. Pure fucking sex. Levels. Of. EPIIIIICCCCC. Epiiiiicccc. Epic. Epic.

Oh my God, man. HOW. HOWWW.

I can't believe this show.

15:18 it fucking ISSSSSS a heart shaped amethyst. I cannot. I CANNNNNOOOTTTTTTTT. https://i.imgur.com/cxzPCaT.png I cannot. I'm trembling, this scene is Titanic when Rose is getting banged in the Jackwagon levels of pure sex. I might ACTUALLY vomit.

15:54 [THUMPS DECK] The captions enhance the experience for me... they do.

16:00 OMGGGGAHHH it's too good, it's too GOOD!!!!!!!! Gunsmoke: It's too good.

16:06 it's SHOWING HER DEALING. https://imgur.com/a/iasnl2m They're using red Rider back Bicycles, which were first made in 1887... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_Playing_Cards Prior to 1887, there were different designs on the back of the cards, but the Rider became their main design.

16:30 in this scene, the cards have switched to an entirely different deck! A VERY similar back, but I have never seen this specific design. https://i.imgur.com/1RVwXrd.png It could just be a custom deck they made for the show, with an ambiguous backing. Or it could be a design that really was from the 1870s. Maybe it'll show the court cards... if they're different than the standard Bicycles, they might be using a period specific deck. They changed the deck for a reason. Maybe they knew Bicycles weren't era appropriate, or they weren't sponsored by Bicycle so they couldn't use their cards up close on screen.

16:42 y'all, what the fuck... https://i.imgur.com/wKkqXJC.png

18:23 look at this guy just pounding beer and sammiches while this is going on like his life isn't on the line or anything.

18:40 his hand was 6s and 9s.

19:50 "What're you gonna do with him?" roflmfaolroflmfaololol.

20:00 she slides him a Rider back box when he asks for a new deck, and he's shuffling the Bikes, but then it's the other anonymous card deck again on the close up shots.

20:47 the thing is, even if she loses, I don't really like this guy that much anymore, lmfao. I mean, he's hot, but is that enough?? He kinda seems like an idiot.

21:00 on the super up close shots, they're using the Rider back... https://i.imgur.com/iveYEOV.png The overhead and close up scenes must have been filmed separately and it was all edited together.

21:10 so her shot showed her pulling from the Rider back, and his shot shows him pulling from the anonymous back... https://i.imgur.com/ZEVoR7d.png Those are hardcore continuity errors, and it makes me wonder.

21:37 Ace of Hearts... fitting.

21:48 ....yeesh. Wonder what Marshal Dillon is gonna think about this?

22:11 [piano playing upbeat melody] WHAT PIANO THOUGH?!?!?

22:48 sounds like this Bob dude is gonna get dealt with.

23:20 dude... did they HAVE to go there?? Why couldn't it have just been luck?! I've got a problem with that. I'm serious. Are they joking?? I hope it's a joke.

24:08 oh Lord... the Marshal is back.

24:14 I would hand that guy over to Marshal Dillon for sure. I mean he's hot, but he's not THAT hot.

25:00 God, what a man. This is just hot. This is so hot.

25:18 but on some real shit... see, these folks believe in JUSTICE.

25:40 "You saved my life." Oh yeah, I forgot about that!?

26:40 Kitty is definitely not safe by herself... I'd be having Festus over for the night.

27:22 TBH, I feel like this guy should relax and have some faith. He's kinda trippin'.

27:40 they should put the guy in jail.

28:00 FFS.

29:04 oh they're just spoiling us now... Gunsmoke knows what the ladies like.

29:11 TBH, I wanna know why too.

29:29 well... she probably had it coming. Anybody who is married to a guy like that has GOTTA suck.

29:31 "Go ahead. You've killed one woman." Roflmfaooo OHHHH, DEEEZAAAM. SUH-NAYUP!!!!!!!

31:22 this is actually 100% believable.

32:17 I told you that guy's wife was an asshole.

33:00 I dunno, that's just kind of a negative attitude.

33:20 FINALLY someone considers contacting Festus.

33:33 lol I dunno if Festus is 100% on board with this and I kind of agree with him... no way I'd jeopardize Festus's fine body for this ridiculously hot younger dude.

34:10 a WAGON?!!!!!!

34:36 he could have walked... he made it down the stairs didn't he?

35:16 they are NOT being inconspicuous about this.

35:40 this whole scene doesn't bode too well.

36:00 he just now got there... do they have a telegraph??!

42:40 "Human nature is always dependable." He's not a likable guy, but he's definitely right about that.

46:50 they did a great job making this guy look evil.

48:08 Festus loves this kinda stuff.

48:20 "Well, Doc, ain't that actin' kinda raunchy?" Roflmfaoflaolol.