X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) - Review & Commentary - Printable Version

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X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) - Review & Commentary - Mister Obvious - 04-03-2021


When I originally watched this movie, it was a badly cropped, mega blurry version someone put on YouTube with people making noise in the audience and shit like that...

I figured I'd take another look at it in HD and damn, this has gotta be the best X-Men movie. In my opinion, at least. Everyone was HYPED over the pyramid scene at the end of that other X-Men movie, and we wanted to see this super bad.

Now, is it the 'deepest' and most serious/good X-Men movie ever? Probably not. But maybe. But probably not.

3:50 wow dudes. They just basically said that the top cap of the pyramid was gold and the whole thing had sacred geometry carved through it and when it was unveiled and lit by the sun, the light flowed through the sacred geometry... and there was also liquid gold alchemy or some shit and it started activating this platform thingy with these two dudes on it and they became godz.

But that was some pretty deep shit and as you can see, we're not even 5 min. in.

And can I just say... the makeup is great in this movie. However I must agree to a slight extent with some reviewers who called this movie kinda gay. It's fabulous though. For real.

I highly doubt I will even like the Apocalypse dude that much this time around. I mean the initial reaction was pretty intense for a blurry badly cropped video so maybe I'm wrong, but I would just have to guess prolly not.

4:17 I keep rewinding to here to understand WTF is going on. Lmfao, it just moves so fast, I'm like so serious about this, I need to understand what is happening right here. Like, these two guys do something that looks unplanned but I can't figure out what they're doing or who the bad guys are.

The effects in this movie are great though, the liquid gold is super pretty.

4:30 okay so these two dudes signal to each other right when the liquid gold sacred geometrical alchemical activation process is in its final phase. Dudebro's body on the table starts forming this blue aura from the activation and I assume that's the one who becomes Apocalypse, right!?

4:42 oh shit, okay, hold on a second. So the liquid gold alchemy sun activated sacred geometry is carrying his consciousness across the way to the OTHER dude's body!?! Incredible!!!

4:52 oh wow, it's not just two dudes, it's a ton of different dudes working together on this overthrow scheme right here. So now they're attacking the door thingy and then the main thingy starts reverberatin'.

5:48 that was some deep shit dude wow. So he just body swapped his consciousness and got a new body. That's crazy!!! But why this big attack?? Is this not a standard practice?? They're making this look like a big deal, not just something they casually do. Then again, odds are I am totally misunderstanding WTF is going on here!?

6:30 wow I really don't remember this stuff at all. This is a pretty amazing movie. Protecting the godz while they get reborn 'n sheeit, it's kinda sweet. Dude this scene is like Waylon's verse in the Highwayman on steroids roflfmao.

8:20 OMG it's Ally Sheedy.

9:15 dude I honestly hardly remember this movie apparently. Which is great!

9:45 ohhh, this is laser eyes bro! Right!? Badass!

10:30 wow, Jen is looking unsurprisingly slutty.

Mystique is pretty badass though.

14:10 why are they talkin' all these different languages? Did I push some kinda button wrong!?

Wow, I do not remember this movie. For real.

Okay okay, I BARELY remember it.

15:39 it's right here that I realize I gotta turn on closed captioning because I can't understand it even when they're speaking English!

18:45 this Professor dude looks like he should be a rockstar.

19:36 I do remember loving this scene though, it's so freaking hilarious! I feel bad for that guy, but at least he gets to look cool all day every day wearing those badass sunglasses.

20:00 lol well, I like that that was his reaction! Professor is so nice though.

20:10 wow you really can't take your eye off the screen for a minute!!! This shit moves FAST!!!

21:20 what the fuck, who the hell is this?! Wow so is she an archaeologist or something?? OMG I can't believe I spelled that right!!!

22:36 ERMERGERD, the sun is randomly about to come along and shine down the tunnel, thus activating the sacred geometry of the uncovered gold pyramid topper piece!!!!!?

Now the whole thing is lighting up, this is amazing!!! It's almost like fiberoptics!!!

OMG Apocalypse dudebro just woke up. Wow, he's in stunning HD. This is not at all the same experience as before, he looked different. But it's still all very beautiful, great effects on this movie.

24:40 lookit, he appears to be teleporting by generating some type of force field that almost looks like a star map. Regardless, it's a mix of more sacred geometry, AND galaxy/spirals.

This really is super gorgeous, so glad I watched.

25:00 what is this, a worldwide jolt? Caused by Apocalypse teleporting? WTF? Well I guess that makes sense, as implied by his name, he does probably tend to make a splash whenever he comes about.

Why were the Egyptians giving Apocalypse a new body and protecting him to the death and sealing him off and whatnot if he was such a bad dude???

25:40 is Magneto's job literally to manually move around metal all day when he's actually telekinetic and doesn't need to touch it?? Or did he just invent those powers on the fly? I dunno, I feel like it's deep.

Man I tell you what, the volume level is pretty low on this movie, like in the talking scenes it's too low and in the action scenes it's WAY too loud. So without the closed captions I wouldn't understand what they were saying because I keep the volume on the low side.

28:45 I appreciate Professor bro's fatherliness.

30:30 this made me lol, I really liked it.

30:50 okay so Magneto already had those powers and he was being on the downlow. Still, imagine it being his job to manually move metal when he could just move it with his mind, like what a kick in the nuts... it ain't even right. Has anybody ever touched on that point before?? Like come on.

31:40 they better not mess with this dude's kid! OMG! This movie is scary and sad AF!

34:30 wow, dang, their daughter is scary as shit, her mutant skill makes "The Birds" happen on demand!!! ROFL!!! Duuude that's hardcore thouuughhh!!! Loves it!!!

34:50 aw dude that's tragic AF but it really was legit an accident, that guy was just distracted by the bird tornado!!!

Dude I hate this movie lmao omg this is awful for real. Magneto's about to kill them with a single necklace yo.

36:45 this Apocalypse guy looks... severe. What's the story on this feller? He's going incognito!

Oh I get it, he's assessing the times. He's woken up to a really strange world for sure.

38:10 wow, Apocalypse is old school... that's hot.

41:50 when you think of it, that's actually an amazing story. So one mutant fused its consciousness (and therefore abilities?) into another mutant's body, again and again, until he became mutant of all mutants, with all these super powers mixed together. What a story!

43:40 he's speed learning all about humanity by reading the TV/radio waves.

44:42 "A time before man lost his way." Worrrd, see this is why I dig Apocalypse.

45:20 I think Apocalypse has the hots for this chick. I mean, she is super cute. I don't blame him!

48:10 awww this is so nice! And just look at his baller sunglasses! He looks so much cooler now!

51:15 I love Apocalypse's overwhelming power, it's so thrilling, they did a great job with this movie.

He seems a bit manipulative though.

52:40 I love how cocky Scott is now that he has his special glasses!!!

53:10 I like this winged/angel dude, he's a good punk, I have known people like that before. He's one of my faves!!!

57:20 uh oh, he mad. Might as well call him Madneto.

58:27 lmfao, and the look on Apocalypse's face!

I'm totally team Apocalypse, all his mutant friends are super edgy and stylish.

1:02:00 the magnetic fields are such a great touch, they really do pay attention to detail in this movie and I like that a lot.

1:03:06 see this is one of my favorite characters right here... Quicksilver. Definitely one of Evan Peter's greatest roles, he was so perfect for it.

1:05:00 wow I can't believe they just threw shade at Star Wars like that.

1:07:50 so the mutants in this 3D map thingy are being depicted as 'ascended beings' way high above all the other humans on the 3D map... that's what it looks like to me at least.

1:08:20 I love how Apocalypse is just standing around tricking out angel dude's body/armor, rofl. That's so lit.

1:11:35 wow, he can possess anybody anywhere, take over their view... that's amazing, this is a really cool story, and that's exactly how it works too! They ARE telling SOME truth in this movie.

1:14:00 I don't really get what Apocalypse is so mad about.

1:14:45 you know what, man... Evan Peters should be so damn fucking honored he played this character. THAT is the role of a lifetime. That one right there. So legendary. Fucking love Quicksilver.

Quicksilver is Magneto's son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:32:00 surprise Wolverine cameo.

1:42:00 I love how Jen gets this look on her face like "I'm totally gonna fuck that guy."

1:42:45 well this looks disruptive as fuck. Think of all the sea creatures!

Apocalypse is a meanie.

1:44:00 this is kinda dumb... not gonna lie. I think it's kinda dumb. The sun activated liquid gold sacred geometry thingy was brilliant, but this is just... agh. It's just stupid. For real.

1:44:30 so basically Apocalypse is about to body swap Charles/Professor??? Whoa dude. Wow.

I am just not really clear on what Charles' ability is?? So he's psychic?? Apparently he has the ability to control minds, but I dunno if I've ever seen him do that. Apoc is saying that he wants to meld with Charles so he can be everywhere/everyone... isn't that an ability Charles only has when he's wearing Cerebro?? Lmfaololol. It has "bro" in it!!!

Cerebro is a DEVICE. It has nothing to do with fricken Charles. I mean I guess Charles' superpower makes his use of Cerebro special and whatever but... I just don't get why he wants to meld with Charles. Why doesn't he just get Cerebro??

1:44:50 and you know what, I just gotta say, I think Magneto is kind of ridiculous.

1:45:20 why is Apoc transferring his consciousness INTO the body of the Professor? Rather than taking the Prof's consciousness into HIS OWN BODY. Why?? It made sense when he was old at the beginning of the movie and was transferred into a younger body... but this one doesn't make sense. Does he need to look like the Professor? Is he identity hijacking, rather than doing it for immortality?

Surely to God they're gonna explain this.

1:46:00 so how in the fuck are they flying a metalass helicopter around these MASSIVELY DISRUPTED magnetic fields that are... huge. There is NO way. NOOO way whatsoever. Everything around would be effected, ESPECIALLY SMALL SHIT. I can't believe this.

At first I really liked the magnetic field effect they were doing, the ribbon-like effect, I thought it was very pretty... but now, TBH, I am just lowkey annoyed by it AND by Magneto himself.

1:46:40 these movies are honestly just destruction p0rno, for real. Like the movie "2012" is a great example of that kinda movie. "Man of Steel" (2013) too.

1:50:57 you know I'm not really sure what Jean's powers even are?? So I looked it up and she's telepathic AND telekinetic. AND can manipulate matter on an atomic level, I mean come on. Her powers negate any other mutant.

1:51:50 this chick probably has the FUNNEST superpowers. With her weird ether lightning lasso thingy, what the heck is THAT thing!?


1:52:20 this poor angel dude really has had the shit end of the stick in life!!!

1:52:40 SO THIS is why Xavier (Professor X) is BALD. Um, like, Patrick Stewart level BALD though. That's hot. Patrick Stewart played the OG Professor in the X-Men movie, right? Whoa dude, this is cray. I just didn't expect there to be a story about why Xavier is bald.

1:57:00 I literally do not understand what is going on in this movie right now. I have nooo idea. I'm gonna have to rewind a little bit I think.

1:58:45 I don't respect them for not standing up for Mystique when she just so clearly took one for the team then and there. They are not standing up for her, YET, when she's dead in a few secs. they will be sad and then will be killed by Apoc anyways, so why not just attack him and attempt to save Raven???

2:00:40 why does Charles have hair in his psychic version of himself, when he doesn't IRL? And it's not working out for him, he's getting his arse kicked. I think the problem is that he hasn't embraced his bald self. He could take Apoc if he did.

2:03:05 I'm eating spicy sweet chili Doritos and it's delicious.

2:05:25 nice boots!

2:05:45 lol he's like some huge boss in a video game.

Great movie.

RE: X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) - Review & Commentary - genba - 04-03-2021

i really enjoyed this one. x-men were my jam, spider-man aside. the final battle scene was so awesome. imma download it now.