Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense
#1
Popcorn 
WARNING: SPOILERS. HAPPENING. BELOW. DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.

The Corvini Inheritance (1984)



ROFL... it's hilarious how she gets chased by this guy and then she finally gets 'safe' into her apartment and it's like, "Ah yeah, another day, another suspenseful incident of being chased by some guy who wants to kill me! Great to be home!" I guess this type of stuff is the norm in Europe now, epic foreshadowing thouuughhh!!!

2:36 ROFLMAOLOL!!! "Let me just draw a bath, I totes need to relax immediately after being hotly pursued by someone who COULDN'T POSSIBLY be lurking outside my doors and windows or anything, ESPECIALLY since I just barely beat him up the elevator!" ROFLROFL THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!

3:45 SHE GRABS A TINY VASE TO "DEFEND" HERSELF WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?!?!?!?!?!?!

People in the comments section of this video are hilarious too. 

5:33 LMFAO his description of the vase sounds like me...

Banana 

Kidding.

9:04 hmmm! I'm arriving at a profound realization here! Stealing shit as a super old lady is a GREAT way to ensure that you get groped and felt up by way of being searched!

12:09... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Need I say more?

These two need to fuckin' bone!!!

13:32 ROFL, this is so dated.

14:00... God, this guy is so smart. Meal planning! That's hot. He's even got a cat! I'd be marrying that dude stat if I was this chick!

27:40 OMG!!! Strangled with that very necklace!!! How exciting!!! This fuckin' guy is becoming weirdly obsessed with this necklace. The heck? And why is he always watching people out the window with binoculars and taking pics of people? I need a hobby like that!

33:11 oh hell yeah this is my kinda guy right here!!! Binders full of pictures of random people taken at great distance via zoom! ROFLMAO!!! Soulmates though!!! Shared hobbies though!!! YAAAS!!!

This guy is starting to increasingly creep me out, not gonna lie. But I like that. Why the hell is this chick shooting down his advances? She's kind of annoying.

37:26 HE'S TRYING TO PUT THE NECKLACE ON HER!!!!!!!!!!

This is pretty creeptastic, but I think it needs to be MORE creepy. MORE!!! MORE, MORE!!!

I have no idea why I'm watching this shit.

40:14, why the fuck does she think this guy is so great, but she's jilting the other dude??? Fuck this bitch!!! I bet that guy doesn't even have a COMPUTER!!!

41:07, AWWWWWWW SHITTTTTTT!!!!!! Things just took a turn for the weird!!! I approve!!! Random paranormal elements!!! Happening!!! What sorcery is this?!

49:17 LMFAO this chick is getting boinked by another dude so fucking hard!!! LOL this guy's gonna go INSANE!!! Ahahahaha!!! Look at that bitch shake her head!!! Frigid!!! I dunno why he'd be sweatin' it over her basic ass anyway, who needs her!? He's got a cat!!!

53:16 BUSTEEEDDD!!!!!!! That guy's the stalker too, mwauhahaha I just know it!!! Tall bastard!!!

54:24 MUWHAHAHAHA SHOWDOWNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN DICKS COLLIDE!!!!!!!!!!

Awwww, I think this obsessive camera dude is honestly really adorable!!! I dunno what she doesn't see in him!!! He's pretty hunky too!!!

1:01:25... that's really pretty creepy. I happen to really dig the way they have fused a paranormal storyline in so casually with this show. It's actually quite impressive and well done, conceptually. I mean, it's dumb as a box of shit, but still really cool.

1:02:50... WHAT?!?!!! Oh no they DIDN'T!?!?! Ahahahaha that is some NEXT LEVEL shit right there!!! Wowww!!! Well done!!!

1:08:12 that's so predictable. I should have never second guessed, I knew it was him all along!!!
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#2
"The Carpathian Eagle" (1980)



I gotta admit, the only reason I'm watching this one is because of her hair-do and that bitchin' choker she's wearing in the thumbnail.

But one second into the vid and damn, it seems pretty clear that we have ourselves a far-out, groovy and stylish chick here, I'm loving this dress, damn! Where do I get one?!

0:04 zomfg that dress is FIIIIIREEEEEE.

That's one of the greatest outfits I've ever seen in any movie or TV show.

0:42 damn look how hot this chick is!

0:57 oh this is creepy.

1:00 this chick is definitely a gypsy.

1:30 or a vampire, or both.

1:40 damn yo she got a nice fuckin' body!!!

2:18 oh that was mega lame, he died way too fast.

2:50 nice opening theme.

9:30 this lady is definitely the best actor in the movie.

10:28 this Suzanne Danielle (Natalie) person looks like Emma Roberts... https://imgur.com/a/vU8LXC6

14:44 OMG what a hideous bed LMAO WTF!!!

It's just the giant feet, I can't get into it.

22:30 honestly, I am barely even watching at this point.

23:00 and then they bring out the songstress and get my attention again.

23:56 this chick has been the best part of the movie so far by far.

OMG SHE'S A FUCKING DUDE. That ain't even right!!!

28:30 oh I'd totally be into this dude.

29:40 this chick is crazy hot though. She's got nice tits!

29:57 LOL I totally feel bad for this dude.

33:00 this is kind of ridiculous, I mean dudes don't just approach chicks this way... they really don't.

35:53 bit of a give away right there, don't ya think?

42:18 this movie is kinda lame.

43:50 he should have caught on when she wouldn't let him call in.

44:55 LOL what the fuck.

50:33 damn yo, the best part by far about this was definitely how hot this chick is.

Other than that, 2/10 stars.
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#3
"Twins Of Evil" (1971)



47:48 I'm not watching this one, but check out how smokin' hot these twin chicks are.

They're Mary and Madeleine Collinson...

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0172770

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0172769

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madeleine_Collinson

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Collinson

https://iv1.lisimg.com/image/1995184/486...linson.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/35/8a/4f/...2d2676.jpg

https://i3.lisimg.com/1995193/280full.jpg

If you Google them, there are some pretty pert nudes.

I meeean, kinda fucked up but...

Definitely worth a mention in Interstellar history.
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#4
I mean, if you were born a super hot pair of twin chicks and given that free gift by the universe...

Would you slut it up together for money and fame?

shrug
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