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(04-08-2020, 09:06 PM)Mister Obvious Wrote: Batiste fabric...
If you can get it.
Should have already had a bunch of it if you'd been preparing for the end of the world with no toilet paper available.
Lightweight, semi-sheer cotton fabric.
It dries fast and has only about 100,000 uses.
Granny's pretty old handkerchiefs...
Those frilly little things??
Yeah.
Wipe your ass with them, clean them, hang them to dry.
Batiste fabric kerchiefs dry ridiculously quickly and that is 100% a requirement of any fabric used this way.
This is why hand towels, bath towels, and standard washcloths are fucking ARCHAIC, the old way, the dead way...
Nobody needs all that fucking material to dry off with or clean themselves with.
If you can't maintain the cleaning and organization of dozens of sections of batiste (i.e., sheerest cotton fabric available) for the purpose of CLEANING YOUR ASS and the hundreds of other uses they can serve...
Then I don't understand how the fuck humanity "evolved" to this point, in fact with this recent global crisis we've been experiencing, I believe the "evolution" narrative less than ever before.
A populace that doesn't even know how to clean their ass could not have survived the onslaught of innumerable problems that had to be overcome in order to survive over the course of history.
I don't recommend using white though...
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My collection is color coded...
I recommend usage adhering strictly to a color coded system.
Soap, water, bleach, baking soda...
That's all you need to live a successfully clean life without toilet paper, using thin cotton fabric instead.
And let me stress something...
If you must machine wash these dainty, precious cloths, you had better soak and handwash them first.
And whatever you do, don't put them in a fucking dryer.
I could explain to you all of the reasons why machine washing/drying destroys these fabrics which are worth their weight in gold in my opinion.
But really you should just take a fucking expert's word for it...
If you do make the heinous mistake of machine washing them, followed by machine drying...
You're also gonna need several gallons of vinegar in your collection (along with a ton of baking soda) for the inevitable refreshing that these materials will need if subjected to that machine process.
Stop being a bunch of lazy fucks, hand wash your material, hand wash it again, soak it, hand wash it again... and hang it to dry.
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You restore old smelly fucked up clothes by putting them in a small bin, sprinkling them with baking soda, pouring vinegar over them, allowing them to fizz until they stop fizzing, then covering them in water, letting them sit overnight, then rinsing and washing them as normal the next day. You're welcome.
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You'll need an agitation system...
Again, get yourself a small fucking plastic bin...
Use some kind of metal or plastic instrument to stir the pot...
And soak your fucking materials in soap/water, bleach/water, baking soda/water, all of the above if you want to, heck, find your groove.
Stir them around, hand wash them, soak them, stir them around some more, hand wash them again, soak them more, then rinse and hang to dry.
Yeah, it's time consuming...
But at least it's not wasteful and you'll never be a slave to paper products again.
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(04-08-2020, 09:14 PM)Mister Obvious Wrote: You restore old smelly fucked up clothes by putting them in a small bin, sprinkling them with baking soda, pouring vinegar over them, allowing them to fizz until they stop fizzing, then covering them in water, letting them sit overnight, then rinsing and washing them as normal the next day. You're welcome.
People are gonna need this info, cuz China ain't around to make you more clothes and probably never will be again...
LOL!
So yeah, whatever's in your closet at this moment, you're gonna need to make it last for as long as you possibly can.
Learn to patch, sew, and wash your clothes properly...
Which often means washing them as sparingly as possible, depending of course upon the item.
The less you can get away with washing it, the longer it'll last.
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My life would be at least 40% less enjoyable if I didn't do these things every single day.
Once you learn how to live the right way, you would never choose to go back even if you could.
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I sure the fuck wouldn't.
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I realize not everybody can just run out and buy some of the fabric I've referenced in this thread...
But I GUARANTEE you've got something around that will work.
If you gotta cut up Granny's old tablecloth, well damn, I guess it's serving a higher purpose.
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Yes. I would cut up Granny's old frilly tablecloth and wipe my ass with it.
But I would neatly hem each section first though...
Cuz guess what, I have class.
shitter’s lil helper
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I don’t think this is enough. I think an ass disinfectant spray will give a clean finish.
#AlwaysAtTheReady
https://tenor.com/QOpa.gif
As long as it’s a natural product. That’s velly import ain’t.
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It basically has to be cotton.
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It doesn't HAVE to be... this is an emergency time after all.
But if you had any choice... it should be cotton.
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Be careful sacrificing old and/or disliked clothes for the cause too... you might have to wear that ugly shit someday! If you have to improvise then use something that is already FUBAR.
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Try it, start doing this and give it a month or two... come back and let me know how much better your life is now.
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Your life is gonna be soooooo much better.
(04-08-2020, 09:07 PM)Mister Obvious Wrote: Then I don't understand how the fuck humanity "evolved" to this point, in fact with this recent global crisis we've been experiencing, I believe the "evolution" narrative less than ever before. You're assuming evolution has some sort of point. It doesn't. I've been reading some "fringe" anthropology lately, and it turns out ritualistic cannibalism was actually quite common historically. Next time you're surprised by how shitty humans are, just remember they used to eat each other.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endocannibalism
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuru_(disease)
(04-08-2020, 09:06 PM)Mister Obvious Wrote: Batiste fabric... I wonder if polyester blend handkerchiefs would work. They might last longer.
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Hmmm.
I don't really know how long they last.
I just know the answer is to have a fuckton of them.
(04-08-2020, 08:13 PM)Mister Obvious Wrote: It just fucking disgusts me that apparently people have JUST been using toilet paper?
I've never heard of anyone doing that. Is it really a thing? Or are you just basing that on the amount of toilet paper they're hoarding?
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