If you have a dirty coffee maker, can opener, or microwave...

[Mister Obvious]

Stay the fuck away from me, I'm serious.

[Mister Obvious]

There's no excuse for that shit.

[somethingelseishere]

What if we don't even have any of those things at all? lol

I kiiiiiid, I kiiiiiid. But yeah, riddle me this, fine Professor!

[Mister Obvious]

Not having a microwave, I can understand.

[somethingelseishere]

I did sooo good staying away from microwaves for 10 whole years.

Not a coffee drinker, never have been. Aside from that one month in 3rd grade.
Hey, I had a serious side too! lol

And can-openers? Th'fuckoutta heeuh. Who can live widdout wunnadoes??

But yeah, in full agreement here. Keep them household appliances clean er'bawdeh.

[somethingelseishere]

I said 8th grade at first cuz in my mind I heard 8 years old. lol

That would place me in 3rd grade. My God. Simple math dude, try it sometime. *barr-harr*

[somethingelseishere]

But yeah, I went through a coffee drinking phase for about a month
when I was eight years old. So, second/third grade.

I was a strange little cookie.

[Guest]

I despise a sink full of dirty dishes but i like naughty girls

[user328]

Yeah, at least rinse your dishes if you're gonna leave them in the sink so I won't have to chisel the dried on shit off of them later.

[Guest]

[Mister Obvious]

lmfao

Ohhh Donald!

[user328]

I think he's trolling the reporter. He can afford a personal chef. He wouldn't expect his wife to cook every night.

[somethingelseishere]

I prefer to cook for myself. Does that make me weird?

Nope! But the other million things do! *womp-womp*

[user328]

I love my own cooking.

[Guest]

Stay the fuck away from me, I'm serious.

Done. I stay the fuck away from anyone with a dirty or clean coffee maker, can opener, or microwave. 

Those basics. 

Physical Plane Geometry.

[Luxury Taco]

Or lesbians who don't clean their dildos. They're just matted with hair and softly glistening. Not like a jewel, but like one of those yellowed walls above an oven that never gets wiped down and it has this kind of semi-gloss skein of grease? And lesbians -- A L W A Y S -- own dogs (note the plural), so there's also random tufts of various dog hairs matted along with the human hairs. You'll be hanging out watching some netflix with her (always something having to do with murder. Without fail.) and you'll just suddenly... notice a dildo a couple cushions down from you on the couch. And it's exactly as I've described it. At first you think it's a dead ferret or something, moist and furry. 

NOT OKAY.

[user328]

Why are you watching Netflix with lesbians, mang?