Fleeing the Plantation

[user328]

I think Joe's is an exception to the general rule that donations to homeless charities are being squandered. The service is just too good there for them to be lining their own pockets. They seem genuinely interested in interacting with the people they help.

[user328]

It's getting hot out here, and the flies are rising. It's about time to fuck off to the park.

[user328]

The jokes write themselves.

"Excuse me, sir. Do you have an extra cigarette?"

"No. They didn't put any extra ones in the pack this time either."

A homeless person should know better than anyone that another homeless person doesn't have anything "extra," nor anything "they can spare."

[user328]

"Joe's has a free store, but I don't think they have cigarettes."

[user328]

Another observation. The 7-Eleven nearest to the shelters plays loud opera music on speakers outside the store to dissuade the homeless from loitering.

[user328]

I'm at the park. I need to go behind the bush and pee, but there's a lady wandering around nearby.

[user328]

When you open a door to walk through it, homeless people cut you off and walk through it while you stand there holding it. If they come up behind you, they don't take the door when you hand it off to them. They expect you to hold it for them. I hold the door for ladies and the handicapped as a matter of course, but grown, able-bodied men who do this need to get beat the fuck down.

[user328]

They also don't move when you pull into or out of a parking lot.

The night shelter has a policy of letting people with wheelchairs, walkers, and canes enter first at check-in time. There are invariably a few able-bodied people who go to the front of the line and crowd around the door, making it unnecessarily difficult for the wheelchairs to get through.

There are also fakers. Mark thinks he has to be the first in every line for some reason. He went and bought a cane at a thrift store so he can check in first. Yesterday, a man on crutches checked in, then carried the crutches and walked just fine as soon as he rounded the corner out of sight of the staff members. Freida claimed to have a broken back, but was somehow able to carry in four or five large bags every night.

[user328]

I get to be one of the first few people who check in because I push somebody in a wheelchair. I like pushing Jerry because he's light. I push him to his bed, and he thanks me. End of transaction. Frank, on the other hand, is heavier than he looks. Moreover, he expects the person who pushes him to be his personal servant for the rest of the night. Sorry, but I have my own agenda once I get inside. I only push Frank when Jerry hasn't arrived by the time I'm ready to get in line.

[user328]

The main difference between some of the homeless people and the narcissist abusers in my previous life is that the homeless don't have any leverage with me because they don't have anything I need or want.

[user328]

I've been thinking about what my dad must be going through since I left. The stepmother has no control over her emotions. She has meltdowns and temper tantrums at the drop of a hat. Watch a few videos about aging narcissists, and you'll see what I mean.

She always bitched about him to me, and bitched about me to him. I'm pretty sure he's getting an earful about what a shitty son he raised. Not that he was ever particularly proud of me to begin with.

One time she let slip her intention of getting his place and all of his possessions, i.e., my inheritance, when he dies. She quickly realized the slip and recovered. I thought little of it at the time, but now I see it should've been a red flag.

In some places, she would be his common law wife, but there's no common law marriage in the state where they live. Long ago, before I learned what she was, I told my dad she would always have a home there.

That was then, this is now. After a suitable period of mourning, I'm gonna bounce her out on her ass. She can move into the house she owns with her narcissist sister, and they can rip each other to shreds in their dotage until one or both of them croak.

Karma is a motherfucker.

[user328]

I'll sell my dad's place, of course. I have no intention of living in the same small town as those psychos.

[user328]

On any other discussion board, I'd feel weird about spamming a thread instead of waiting for replies. I'm glad MO made this site for the express purpose of journaling.

[user328]

I don't feel it would be vindictive to evict the stepmother. I don't harbor malice towards her or anyone else. I'd simply be claiming what is rightfully and lawfully mine. If that thwarts her sinister plans, it would only be icing on the cake.

[user328]

While I harbor no malice, I do get angry sometimes when I'm watching a video about narcissist abusers and recognize something that they've done to me.

I'm not dwelling on the past by watching these videos. I just want to have a strong working knowledge of narcissistic personality traits and behavior so that I never fall into that trap again.

[user328]

My real aunt texted me a few weeks ago, but I didn't respond or send a read receipt. iPhone automatically sends one when you click on the message notification to open the thread. I only read it on the notification screen.

I was miffed at my aunt for not doing a few simple things to help me raise funds to save my stuff from auction. I wasn't asking her for money. I was just asking her to help spread the word about my GoFundMe. As a devout Christian, her solution to everything is to pray for you and give you yet another Bible.

She has mostly been good to me over the course of my lifetime though, so I'm gonna call her from my new phone soon.

[user328]

I'm really enjoying being able to post while roaming freely, and being able to write long posts without having to worry about the battery dying. However, all portable devices have a finite battery life, and this one is about gone. I usually charge the battery some while I'm driving, and top it off after I check in at the night shelter. Being able to watch several videos while I'm lying in bed waiting for activity on the forum is also a treat.

[user328]

One time, the stepmother had a meltdown over a particularly nasty cold sore she had on her lip. She was sniveling because it marred her appearance. At age 65, when a woman should be well past being overly sensitive about her looks.

Now this woman is naturally hands down one of the bone ugliest people I've ever seen in my life. She looks like she has a permanent scowl which, judging from old photos, she has had her entire life. It had never occurred to me that she could be vain about her looks. After watching some videos about narcissists, it makes sense.

[user328]

My real mother was beautiful. My dad's second wife wasn't all that, but she could doll herself up to good effect.

At some point, he started settling for butt ugly women. His third wife, with whom he had another son, was ugly as sin. Very nice woman though. One of his girlfriends was decent looking, but she was getting on in years.

My dad was handsome, and probably could've gotten any woman he wanted. I never understood why he wanted to wake up to some of the faces he woke up to every morning.

[Mister Obvious]

TBH, it sounds like your dad may have actually been a respectable man.