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(09-23-2022, 02:56 PM)user328 Wrote: One time, the stepmother had a meltdown over a particularly nasty cold sore she had on her lip. She was sniveling because it marred her appearance. At age 65, when a woman should be well past being overly sensitive about her looks.
Lol, that's rough.
I actually know a few super elderly women with the whole mouth cold sore thing going on...
They stay self-conscious about it forever, apparently.
But I think it dismisses the belief that cold sores come from screwing around, cuz these old ladies were the married for 60 years types and I doubt they were sluttin' it up.
If old grannies have cold sores, then there's no reason for a stigma surrounding the whole thing and they just need to let it go.
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People are so hard on themselves for literally every reason...
They'll be hard on themselves, but then they'll ALSO be total assholes.
Like how do those things go together???
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(09-23-2022, 12:25 PM)user328 Wrote: Another observation. The 7-Eleven nearest to the shelters plays loud opera music on speakers outside the store to dissuade the homeless from loitering.
I saw a video the other day about how businesses in cities with a large homeless population like LA are having a lot of problems with the drug addled in the community getting all scary and shit inside their businesses. Like they'll walk into the restaurant screaming crazy shit and be physically threatening, and it seems like some of the owners of those places wanna pack up shop and leave. They probably will. It's bad and it seems intentional on the part of the government to allow this to take place in these cities.
(09-23-2022, 01:53 PM)user328 Wrote: While I harbor no malice, I do get angry sometimes when I'm watching a video about narcissist abusers and recognize something that they've done to me.
I'm not dwelling on the past by watching these videos. I just want to have a strong working knowledge of narcissistic personality traits and behavior so that I never fall into that trap again.
Yeah it's really hard when you look back on your past and realize how abused and manipulated you were... it feels like the time was such a waste.
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It's good to educate yourself on the narcissistic traits until you feel like you've learned enough... you'll know when that is.
It's important not to go much past that though... you risk getting hung up on reliving those horrible experiences, which wastes even more of your time and gives that energy over to the narcissist in a covert kinda way.
These narcissistic people are demonic entities in the most real sense that demonic entities can exist.
They feed on people, hurt them so they can get more fuel from them, and they'll never admit what they've done because the entity attached to them causes them to lead a double existence.
There's the shell of the human, then there's the demonic attachment. It's two beings in one body, but when the narcissist reaches adulthood, the abnormalities (initiated by epigenetics, trauma in childhood, etc.) of the brain are too far gone.
No hope exists for these people if the issues that lead up to narcissist brain degeneration aren't dealt with in childhood. The damage is already done by the time they're grown up, and the atrophy of certain parts of the brain dealing with empathy etc. is too far gone. Unless brain transplants become possible, narcissists don't have a chance to ever be a normal/healthy and non-abusive person, ever.
They must be forgotten.
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It's been said that the homeless are the "Forgotten People" of the world...
But I think narcissists are the forgotten people.
No one who's ever dealt with one (especially for way too long) wants to do anything other than forget they ever existed.
When people die, we're told to remember the "good times"...
But when you've dealt with a narcissist, it's important to forget the good times too (if there were any), because first of all, remembering any of it takes up time and space in your brain...
More importantly though, if you think back on any good times and you wear your rose colored glasses to cover up the tinge of hurt and hell over every single memory, you're susceptible to being manipulated back into contact with the narcissist.
They want nothing more than to drain their favorite source of the very last drop of their lives. The very last morsel of their hope, happiness, and freedom. The narcissist would claim it all if they could.
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(09-23-2022, 03:05 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: TBH, it sounds like your dad may have actually been a respectable man.
He's an alcoholic, and physically abused me, my sister, and my mom. Besides getting a few DUIs, he was a fairly law-abiding and hard-working man though.
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I thought I tried psychoanalyzing you about your dad once and I don't remember that info being provided?!
Sorry to hear that Dev, but I think you turned out pretty well considering that history.
As long as you're not beating bitches up or being a narcissist, you're doing pretty well...
I mean the bar is kinda low in society today, but it's still a good thing to be above it regardless.
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I'm in no danger of getting involved with a previous abuser again. The danger lies in unwittingly falling prey to a new one.
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I've never hit a woman since I've been grown. I would occasionally hit my sister when we fought as kids, but that's what kids do.
I have a strong aversion to conflict, and try to walk away when possible.
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(09-23-2022, 03:46 PM)user328 Wrote: I'm in no danger of getting involved with a previous abuser again.
Thank God for that...
Listen, this is probably a harsh thing for people to grasp, but I really think it's better to live under a bridge than to be subjected to a narcissist.
At a certain point, I absolutely would choose death if exposure to a narcissist was my only other choice.
Obviously that's... like, never really a situation people come up against, but I'm just saying. If it was, I'd choose to die.
Being homeless is a better fate than life with a narcissist.
(09-23-2022, 03:46 PM)user328 Wrote: The danger lies in unwittingly falling prey to a new one.
Damn right. These evil individuals (there are more in the world than anyone wants to believe) can spot an active or former victim of abuse (narcissistic variety included).
I don't bother with people... at all.
The only silver lining that exists in having experience with a narcissist is that you are forever cured of the naivety that lead you to trust people.
You leave these abusive situations resigned to the understanding that people are simply trash. There are no exceptions.
Notice how a narcissist will always call YOU selfish and say you're too self-focused... they don't want you to be free, they don't want you to have any power, they don't want you to put yourself first.
Because if you do, you'll realize what a shitty deal you're getting with them, and that means they will lose their supply.
I think a good rule of thumb is (using common sense of course) to do the exact opposite of anything a narcissist ever told you.
Everything discouraging they ever said to you was SOLELY to keep you down, to make you doubt yourself, to take away your power... NOT because it was true.
If they told you not to do something, do it. If they told you to do something, don't do it.
With a narcissist, everything is a trick and a slight of hand to make sure you NEVER get power, and if you're exposed to them for long enough, they want you to believe that you can't achieve, don't deserve, or will simply never have power.
They're by far the worst predators on this planet.
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The physical abuse was pretty brutal when I was a kid, but I somehow managed to not grow up to be a criminal or sociopath. Or at least I don't think I'm a sociopath. I've always been pretty empathetic. I was extremely hypersensitive as a child, and somewhat suicidally depressed in my early twenties. I had a violent temper and would break things when I was younger. The temper still comes out sometimes, but I don't act on it physically. Learning to program saved me from being a basket case. It taught me to work through problems logically, and to persevere until I found a solution.
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I think it pissed the stepmother off to no end that she couldn't provoke me in the beginning. It took a lot of brainwashing before she could get me to fold. And even then I knew the situation was completely dysfunctional, and that I'd have to leave as soon as I could.
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(09-23-2022, 03:59 PM)user328 Wrote: Learning to program saved me from being a basket case. It taught me to work through problems logically, and to persevere until I found a solution.
I find that VERY interesting, because I've heard that playing Tetris apparently helps your mind process trauma so that it doesn't become a serious issue later on down the line.
https://www.psych.ox.ac.uk/news/tetris-u...s-symptoms
Maybe that explains why I looooooooved Tetris as a kid, lol!
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Brainwashing isn't exactly the right word. It was the threats of "getting rid of" me that would cause me to try harder to validate myself in her eyes. I obviously negated that strategy for her by getting rid of myself, i.e., leaving.
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I feared the prospect of being homeless. Once I decided being homeless would be better than where I was, her threats just didn't work anymore.
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(09-23-2022, 04:13 PM)user328 Wrote: I feared the prospect of being homeless. Once I decided being homeless would be better than where I was, her threats just didn't work anymore.
That's beautiful.
My heart swells with pride for your bravery and for finally REALIZING that you are free.
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Dinner is hit or miss at the night shelter. Sometimes they have food, and sometimes they don't. They'll usually microwave something you brought yourself though. Many of us take the precaution of picking up something microwavable before check-in. I have a bag of cheap chicken breast nuggets in the pop cooler.
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(09-23-2022, 04:14 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: That's beautiful.
My heart swells with pride for your bravery and for finally REALIZING that you are free.
I'm not really that brave. I'm pretty timid and lazy. It takes a bit of pushing to get me out of my comfort zone. These two psychos simply pushed hard enough.
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Homeless drama.
Some dude just hijacked an Uber scooter that another guy was using. Lol
This morning, a guy got knocked out cold in the middle of the night shelter parking lot. I didn't witness that. I don't know what it was about, and don't care.
(09-22-2022, 05:55 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: I really appreciate this thread because Dev is using the site in the way that it was truly meant to be used... it's a diary (journal, blog) and I really like seeing someone else use it that way.
Well fuck , it’s a diary guys
She told me is was a fantasy role playing thingamajigger
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