All Time Favorite Figure Skaters

[Mister Obvious]

Why is this ALL THERE IS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?1?!?1?1?

There hasn't been any fucking innovation here since like 2019.

THAT WAS APPROXIMATELY 6 MILLION YEARS AGO.

STEP IT THE FUCK UP, THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Mister Obvious]

TAKE ME TO THE CIRCUS BITCH!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:42 I'm serious, look how badass she is.

SHE'S LITERALLY ONE PERSON AND SHE WAS BETTER THAN AN ENTIRE CIRQUE DU SOLEIL SHOW.

[Mister Obvious]

So apparently the only reason Amber Glenn didn't CURBSTOMP at the 2022 Olympics was because...

Amber Glenn did not compete in the Olympics; she qualified for the 2022 Olympic team but withdrew due to a positive COVID-19 test.

Total conspiracy.

They just didn't want an American to win women's singles.

[Mister Obvious]

Such fucking bullshit, oh my God.

[Mister Obvious]

I bet that's why they got back at the Russians with the whole doping scandal.

[Mister Obvious]

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

[Mister Obvious]

Jeremy Abbott is FORTY YEARS OLD.

This is why it's important to NOT do a whole bunch of dumb shit... so you CAN skate past 25 years old, lmao.

He never won Olympic gold (he won bronze) but he's STILL AROUND. That's what matters... you can't CHANGE THE GAME if you can't even PLAY THE GAME anymore because you were STUPID.

[Mister Obvious]

Dude this Daniil Murzin guy is GREAT and look at this bitchin' lighting.

Why are we even still fucking with some stuffy technical scoring bullshit against plain white ice with tacky advertisements everywhere?? BORRRRINNNNGGGGGG.

On Ice Perspectives has the right idea, but it's not BIG ENOUGH. IT NEEDS TO BE BIGGER.

[Mister Obvious]

WE NEED MORE, DAMMIT, MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

God, these figure skater dudes have some of the NICEST ASSES I've ever seen IN MY FUCKING LIFE.

LOOK at that ass. Where's the gold medal for THAT shit??

[Mister Obvious]

Baby got motherfucking back, someone needs to be shelling out $1mil for that ass alone.

Where's the Ass Olympics??

That's something America could definitely get behind and dominate.

[Mister Obvious]

I'm done.

[Mister Obvious]

WHY THE FUCK are we talking about GOING TO MARS when we don't even have an ice skating circus troupe ON THIS PLANET YET!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[Mister Obvious]

Humanity needs to GET ITS SHIT TOGETHER and focus on THE RIGHT THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

THIS IS WHAT REALLY MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS WHAT MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

ICE CIRCUS!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!