American Horror Story: Roanoke is banal dogshit.

[Mister Obvious]

WARNING: SPOILERS. HAPPENING. BELOW. DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.

Wrought with total propaganda. 

I've LOVED this series, even the most suckass season (Freakshow) was pretty good.

But Roanoke is starting off really fucking bad and lame.

So far in episode 1 they've already put in racist propaganda, blaming the Confederate Flag for everything and expecting racism because "it's the south".

Facepalm. What is this, 1867? If brainrotted libtards didn't rehash every single negative event from the past and slice open the scars again, there wouldn't be a problem. Fucking idiots.

WTF, is this house supposed to be haunted? Aren't ghosts a little bit overused in this series? Why is she drinking wine in the hot tub? Is that even a hot tub?

I'm enjoying a total lack of opening titles so far though, I mean... 

Wow, they just bashed ZZ Top. What the fuck is wrong with these fuckers? And I can already tell this season isn't going to have a soundtrack AT ALL. Cool music is going to be TOTALLY absent.

Somebody told me this season was gonna be about a CRUISE SHIP. That would have been so much better. Do that next time, you guys... if you're even capable of doing anything good again.

They even just mentioned "gluten allergy"... *facefucks palm

Angela Bassett is like the only good part of this show so far. Damn she's good lookin'.

The shit happening so far that's supposed to be scary is just lame as fuck.

The lamest shit EVER... these two bitches are walking down into the darkass basement KNOWING there's an intruder, hearing weird voices and the chick asks Angela Bassett's character (AN EX COP) where her gun is. She replies "Where it should be, locked in the drawer upstairs." Then she reaches for a wrench or some shit.

Wow, just wow.

Who the fuck is responsible for this FUCKING ATROCITY? What the fuck is WRONG with you?

I don't fucking get what's up with the people on the documentary... which ones were REALLY there? Are the documentary losers the real people? Is it the other way around? Is this the only fucking mystifying aspect of this show at all? Because if so, that's also fucking lame.

She calls these rednecks they suspect of "terrorizing" them "good ol' boys"... that's so fucking stupid. Spoken like a bunch of Yankee twats who have no idea what the fuck "good ol' boys" even means. What a total embarrassment.

So far this season is a fucking total embarrassment to the fucking series.

Wow that whole scene in the woods was SO fucking dumb.

Now the ending credits have come on and I seriously feel like this season doesn't even DESERVE the classic AHS theme song.

NOT a good first episode... I can't see it getting better.

I think it's going to keep being total shit.

Wow, just wow.

[Mister Obvious]

On episode two now...

Supposedly the parts where the dumbfucks aren't talking to the camera are the "DRAMATIC RE-ENACTMENTS"???

How does that even fucking make sense??

It should be that these fucking losers telling their story are just "remembering" this shit that happened. It shouldn't be sold as a "dramatic re-enactment"... that's just fucking stupid. They shouldn't have different actors doing this. It would have been so much more realistic that way too. WTF.

I don't find this "stick figure hanging from a tree in the woods" shit scary AT ALL. Like it's not even creepy, it's just weird and dumb. Honestly.

The ONLY bright side of this is that there's Kathy Bates. If she can't do something with this steaming pile of plot, fucking nobody can. And man that's A LOT to ask.

Oh look... it's Lady Gaga playing a role where she's not hot.

I do like Cuba Gooding Jr. though, he's cool. But in the same token... like. Why is he on this show?

Again, total lack of opening credits. I'm glad. I always skipped through that shit anyway, but I really do feel like this season isn't worthy of the theme/typical opening. And judging by this lack, I'm guessing they feel the same way.

Season 6 of AHS is like Halloween 3. The one that didn't even have Michael Myers in it. Like, no one cares. At all. No Michael Myers? THEN IT'S NOT FUCKING HALLOWEEN. Even that shitshow of a movie was so much more interesting and straight up than this.

So "Priscilla" is the little girl's invisible friend... I'm guessing Priscilla is a fucking ghost. ANOTHER one. The little girl's like 10 and she goes "She said she's tired of all the blood." And Angela Bassett (the mom) doesn't even say anything. The kid is WAY too old to say some shit like that and not even get asked another question about it... if she was 5, I might not press the issue... but this kid is like 10, I'd being going "Blood? Do WHAT?"

They are NOT putting the very skilled Lily Rabe to good use in this season AT ALL. They should have made her a main creepy character instead. Dumbasses.

What is with the pigs? Why pigs? This is just stupid.

And they're STILL trying to act like this is about RACISM??? How dumb are these people? Not only dumb but just totally self-obsessed. It's so obviously not even about them at this point... what the actual fuck??

The phonecall/unplugged phone bit was creepy. The nurse scene was good. Best thing that's happened so far and that's not saying much.

The 10 year old kid literally just tells her mom/dad Priscilla said "They're going to kill us all and save me for last." And they just LOOK AT HER. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Okay okay, so the dad is taking the kid away and says she's never coming back to the house and he goes, "How does an 8 year old even know how to say that"... okay so she's 8. Still old enough that the mom should have questioned her bigtime about the blood statement earlier. These people are just dumb.

Man I literally fucking hate AHS: Roanoke.

This is pure fucking shit.

And what the fuck, they've got Evan Peters in the pighead mask thing? That's so fucking stupid. That's it? Evan Peters is SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY BE SEEN. Come ON.

The Professor guy is on scene now... he's a really good character, only because he's a really good actor.

So the house was an "assisted living facility" with these two crazy nurses. Okay fine whatever, lackluster as fuck.

This one nurse bitch LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING MAN.

Alright so with the whole "MURDE" (murder, unfinished) written in blood on the wall by the nurses who disappeared... it's getting intriguing. I mean that in the most low level way possible. This season has been UTTER FUCKING SHIT so far, so saying that this is intriguing is saying very little.

Denis O'Hare is an excellent actor though.

[Mister Obvious]

Alright, episode three.

So Lee (Angela Bassett's character) lost her kid Flora and now she and Matt and his wife Shelby are looking for her. So stupid to even know these dumbfuck characters' names.

So they find this nasty house with cut up pigs in the refrigerator and pigs in the barn and they're running around screaming Flora.

Wow there are these super nasty dirty fucked up boys in the barn who clearly think they're ANIMALS and they're like... sucking on some shit or eating some shit. That's just fucked up! LOL! That was pretty funny. What do they call those? Feral? LOL. That's awesome. So all they can say is one word and supposedly it's a "warning". Okay, whatever then.

Why do these fuckers keep their phones on vibrate?? And are we seriously supposed to believe the phone on vibrate actually woke them up?? That's so dumb.

Uh oh... a super weird old psychic dude just walked onto the scene. This should be interesting. Definitely an excellent and well done character. I can already tell. They did extremely well with this one. Still not saying a lot for this fucking show though.

This is AMERICAN FUCKING HORROR STORY. It's supposed to be GOOD. What the FUCK is going on?

Loving the psychic bit though. Best part so far.

LOL this whole seance type scene is dumb as a box of shit... Kathy Bates literally appears out of the darkness? Seriously?? If it wasn't Kathy Bates, I'd be more annoyed right now. Still the best part of the show. It's more classic kind of horror movie type shit now... definitely preferable to whatever the fuck they were trying to pull earlier, I don't even know.

Oh wow, so Kathy Bates' character was abandoned by her own people, left to die in the woods, and then saved by creepy Lady Gaga offering her starving ass a still beating pig heart. Kathy Bates gives her allegiance to Lady Gaga and then chases down her betrayers and kills the shit out of them. Except for that one guy. This is mildly intriguing for reasons that... I really just don't even care about.

I'm still burping up garlic from dinner and it tastes really good. Just a sidenote.

So then Matt has sex in the woods with freaked out Lady Gaga and his wife walks up and sees it and now she's all mad because she's dumb. The guy doesn't even remember and she doesn't believe he doesn't remember even after all the weird shit that's happened. Freaking stupid.

[Mister Obvious]

Alright... onto dumbfuck episode 4.

Oh no, pig man in the bathtub... boring and insipid. Oh no, pig men all over the house, so scary. I mean dumb. Holy shit it's the Professor guy. He's learned some tricks! You shout the "warning word" Croatoan to scare off the pig dudes and they disappear. *facepalm

Denis O'Hare makes me kinda horny... too bad he's gay.

Oh FUCK. They've slipped in a cool song... I Can Feel Your Heartbeat by the Partridge Family. Just typing that having prefaced with "cool" makes me... *facepalm

Why the fuck is AHS trying to pass pigs off as SCARY? LIKE, AT ALL?

Well, this episode is pretty stupid so far.

Oh look, it's creepy Lady Gaga in the woods.

LOL, the blood moon in the daylight sky is SOOO FAKE. Like. THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN. EVER. EVERRR.

What the FUCKKK is wrong with these people.

LOL, I do like the psychic dude though, that's pretty awesome.

Oh so Lady Gaga (Witch of the Wood) is "the bitch with the real power". Their scene together was pretty cool. I'm definitely interested in seeing more about her character. I guess. Mildly.

Kathy Bates is a fucking amazing actress though. Love that bitch.

The Witch of the Wood's story was interesting.

LMFAO the Uber Driver... ROFLROFL. Uh oh, the psychic just got it, sliced up by those ghost bastards!

Meh, it wasn't a bad episode. Probably the best one of the 4.

As for Evan Peters and where the hell he fits into all this...

They're trying to play it like there's a big plot twist coming up, but it's not a plot twist if we haven't even SEEN Evan Peters yet, so if it does involve him, I'm not impressed. Trying to put it all off on a plot twist possibly involving the central reason anybody tunes into this show (let's be real about it, to see Evan Peters) is a lame-o move and they better have something more solid than that or it just goes to further prove they think this season sucks too.

[Mister Obvious]

If I end up deciding ultimately that the season isn't total shit and suck, then I will just say it's the only season that has been drastically different from the rest. Different story telling style (I find flaws with it), no opening credits. Really different from the rest so they obviously knew it was gonna be weird and a hit or miss.

[Mister Obvious]

Murder House and Hotel are the two best seasons of AHS... make more of that you guys.

[Mister Obvious]

Season 1 (Murder House) was absolutely legendary. The best season has probably been Hotel though... if I let go of the sentimental value of Murder House, I do think Hotel (season 5) is the best... even though it lacked Jessica Lange. The GODDESS. All of her characters have been epic legend, aside from season 2 (Asylum) which I didn't care for. All the seasons have been good compared to Roanoke though. Luckily we know there will always be more seasons.

I'll be giving my commentary on the rest of this season though...

And all seasons thereafter because commenting on AHS in this format has been a tradition for me, and I'm looking forward to sharing my opinion on upcoming episodes.

[Mister Obvious]

I feel bad for people who are going to get their introduction to AHS through this season...

They will probably never watch another season and go away thinking the show just sucks.

[Mister Obvious]

Alright well... there's a new episode out (episode 5). I've heard through the grapevine that it's an absolute pile of shit for a plethora of reasons. Now I have the displeasure of getting to watch it, so let's begin.

I've been told Evan Peters makes an appearance and that it's a complete and utter letdown.

I honestly don't even fucking remember what happened in the last episode.

Oh now they're bringing the largely lackluster Motts from season 4 (Freakshow) into the picture. I mean honestly, whatever. Like seriously. Yeah Dandy was hot but who cares.

Alrighty so there's Evan Peters wearing a colonial wig, pretty righteous... looks kinda girly though. 

Evan does look pretty fucking hot though. It makes it better just to see him. There's no way he can save this pile of shit though. Oh great. He's fucking gay. He just kissed his black servant. Who's also pretty hot. I immediately disapprove. More lamesauce from season sux... I mean six. This is truly disgusting. None of the viewerbase wants to see Evan Peters kissing a man. Ever. The writers of this show are fucking idiots.

Maybe they'll just kill Evan's character off. I'm sure he's got better things to do anyways. I'd rather him not be on the show at all than to have to see him kissing a dude. His character is such a bitch. Even his gay lover hates him.

Again with the fakeass red moon. Totally obnoxious. These people are dumb as a box of shit.

Now all the ghosts are taking Evan Peters and they're gonna kill him and shit. Well that didn't take long!!! Actually super glad to see this. I'm sure they'll keep dragging him around on the show as a ghost or some lame stupid shit like that so... I guess Evan's other projects are going super well and stuff.

This "historian" lady in a blue suit on the documentary is absolutely the worst actor ever. Ever. Ever.

They also take the Lord's name in vain way too much in this season... they're just trying to please the puppetmasters at this point. This whole season is them bending over and taking it up the ass to keep the show on air. Maybe this horrendously lame, heinously shite season will buy them a couple of good seasons after this.

Oh great and now they've lost Flora AGAIN. How long are they going to exploit this absurdly lame aspect of things. Like how many times. Honestly. I seriously hate these people right now. This whole scene of pig people in the dark is just so fucking dumb. 

And of course there's Evan Peters' ghost... Edward Mott. Facepalm. He looks better dead though.

I don't like how they've got Evan Peters as the original builder of the host house again just like last season, back as a ghost and the works. Facepalm. It's like they didn't even try this season. Literally. 

So now the dumbfuck Matt and his stupid wife whose name is not even worth remembering have made it out of the house (led by Edward Mott) and they found their way to the house where the "rednecks" live. Really creepy. LOL. Frances Conroy is playing the mother of the redneck family and she's a super warped character. She's a fabulous actress too, I really like her. 

"Every time that truck bounced, I was sure that gun would go off"... see that's the kind of dumbfuck statement that people don't even catch as total propaganda, and the EXACT kind of shit I totally fucking despise. Wow. Just wow. Liberals are so dumb, and the writers on this show clearly think they're EVEN DUMBER than they ACTUALLY are. It's insulting... and another helping of lamesauce to add on to this complete and total disaster that is American Horror Story: Roanoke.

So these IDIOTS run off into the woods instead of stealing the truck from the rednecks? Leagues beyond stupid as fuck... AGAIN. Wow. I can't even believe how fucking suckass this season is. It's actually stunning.

LOL Frances Conroy's character just cut Shelby's foot off. LOL. That's what they get for not stealing the truck. What a bunch of total fucking idiots, it's just hilarious. It's just so bad and dumb... I cannot even believe it.

So they drove them back to the house and the ghost legion is standing out front and it's apparently time to sacrifice these stupid fucking libtard fucknuts Matt and Shelby. Unfortunately we know they're not actually gonna get killed off because the boring and lame total fucks are MAKING THIS STUPID FUCKING DOCUMENTARY. It's so dumb and I literally hate it. These characters are just so useless and who gives a fuck about them. Seriously.

So they're about to put Flora in the fire and the stupid bitch Shelby on the documentary shakes her head and goes "It was just inhuman". I MEAN NO SHIT, REALLY YOU STUPID BITCH!? You don't fucking SAY?! They're fucking GHOSTS!?!?!? Can you even really call them HUMAN ANYMORE ANYWAYS?!?!?! After ALL THE OTHER STUFF YOU'VE WITNESSED?!?!?!

This season is agonizingly dumb. UNBELIEVABLE.

Indeed, a solid disappointment.

So Flora's mom is about to run in and save the day... somehow. Oh shit, surprise... Wes Bentley's character (ghost son of the Butcher) just whacked his mom in the head and pulled her into the fire. LOL! Then Flora's mom runs over one of the pighead dudes who was about to kill Flora and then they all get in the car and speed off as the Butcher comes out of the fire flaming and chasing them.

And these dumbfuck liberals on the documentary are like, "Gee it's weird, we just can't even explain the crazy things we saw!" Wow. Just wow. It's NOT EVEN BELIEVABLE THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE THAT STUPID.

NOT EVEN REMOTELY BELIEVABLE.

So now they're in a cheap hotel (Matt/Shelby/Flora/her mom) ... waiting to be wired money so they can fly back to LA. And apparently Shelby's SEVERED FUCKING FOOT IS IN A FUCKING CAST AND SHE'S MOVING AROUND JUST FINE? I MEAN REALLY? FUCKING REALLY??????????????????????

FUCKING REALLY???????????????????

????????????????

Yep.

Total disappointment.

LOL.

And that's the end of the episode.

WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING WITH THIS SEASON???

WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING???

Can we just let this be the last episode of this STUPID AS FUCK story and segue into what this season should have been about which is a MOTHERFUCKING CRUISE SHIP???

THANKS.

FUCKING THANKS.

[Guest]

Hey Trix ,
How can we speak in private ?

[Mister Obvious]

I wonder if these actors get tested for STDs before they kiss...

[Mister Obvious]

Hey Trix ,
How can we speak in private ?

If you'd like to private message, you can register an account here and then send me a private message by clicking this link:

http://forum.sectual.com/private.php?action=send&uid=1

Make sure you're logged in when you click it or it won't work!

[Mister Obvious]

Wow I forgot I posted this thread, and turns out my dream kinda came true:

http://forum.sectual.com/thread-19.html

Weeeiiirrrd!?

LOL, haven't even bothered watching the new episodes that are out. I'd have to get pretty damn bored.

[Evan Peters]

I'm leaving the show. Fans beg me not to. I get where they're coming from, but they don't understand how bad it's gotten.. They don't know what goes on behind the scenes. There's something really wrong with these people, and I don't want to be part of it anymore. When Lady Gaga got involved, that's when things got weird. At first I thought it would be really cool to work with her. Since then, I've learned things I can't get past. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to be one of them.

[Mister Obvious]

Sounds like Evan unknowingly attended one of them thar spirit cookin' parties...

Can't unsee that shit!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

Alright...

I'm picking up where I left off on this complete and utter atrocity of a show. Episode sux. I mean six.

At least I have pizza.

So in this episode the documentary producers are gonna take the main dude and chick back to the house for halloween or some shit. I've forgotten EVERYONE'S character name except for the little girl. Oh no wait,  I forgot her fuckin' name too. This episode starts off with a super gay looking producer guy meeting other producer people in a pretentious office building, let's see how this banal dogshit unfolds.

Already taking the Lord's name in vain for no fucking reason... gotta get your societal degradation points in at every halfway plausible opportunity. *slow clap*

It's so fucking funny and dumb to me that these exec people are talking about how fucking great "My Roanoke Nightmare" is, how it's all "hot" and popular and shit, ROFL!!! Even in this totally fabricated AHS universe that isn't even fucking believable. More cheese than a bag of Cheetos, lame. Lame lame lame.

They LITERALLY just mentioned Facebook likes and Twitter followers. Talk about DATING THE ABSOLUTE SHIT out of this entire season, wow just wow just wow. A few years down the road, that is gonna be as laughable as mentioning MYSPACE. Oh but hey, they get the big bucks for mentioning these corporate shitstains, so it's worth dating the shit out of this season which is total garbage anyway so you know what, I AGREE. GREAT MOVE. Maybe use the money to make the next season NOT BE TOTAL SHIT.

Wow. I dunno if I can even watch this.

It just sucks so hard and is such shit.

The crew has rigged cameras in the house and rigged scary shit to happen like the sink turning on and pipes rattling.

Somebody left a pile of fetal pigs behind a tree at the house for the crew to find. And they found it and they were just like gee, wonder who did this?! So fucking dumb.

It's cool to see Kathy Bates in her role as the actress who plays the Butcher. She's super creepy... LOL, fucking love that bitch, she's an awesome actress. LOL, she mentions THE PATRIARCHY. ROFLROFLROFL. Wow, they slip it in everywhere... I bet Kathy Bates thinks this is SO DUMB. She may be a good actress but she can't really act like she doesn't think that shit is stupid. LMFAO, so the actress playing the Butcher apparently had like a mental breakdown and then ran around Hollywood as the Butcher and got put in a mental ward. And then she moved to Roanoke. ROFL!!! I dunno, it's a funny twist. Still epic lameness, but funny. She thinks she really is the butcher and she's gonna "smite" them all. LOL, pretty funny.

Man there is such a MASSIVE, MASSIVE difference between the chick who plays the real Lee and Angela who plays her in the documentary. The 'real' Lee actress chick is... just kind of... not digestible. I dunno what her deal is.

One of the crew people got killed on the set. LOL. And these fucking idiots aren't even perturbed. It's so fucking dumb. LOL.

So the producer lady just got all mad at the producer dude because he wanted to go on with the show, and she drove off and is documenting what really happened and why she's leaving from her car cam and now there's a creepy lady in the road.

But anyways, the whole rest of the show should have been about super fucking up the crew and the producers to the point they couldn't even carry the show through to a finish and just leave it some big unsolved thing. There are 10 episodes now, so maybe that's what ends up happening. I really doubt it though... I can't imagine them doing anything right with this season. They haven't so far, so why would they start now?

So of course there's a random pighead dude who just appears in the producer lady's car and she crashes and apparently her body was never found. Gotta say, the pighead people are the dumbest part of this show and that's saying a lot. They aren't scary, the concept isn't scary and none of their scenes are memorable whatsoever.



I think Sarah Paulson is really cute, but this horrid accent her "real" persona outside the documentary's got going on is just an abomination.

Whoa, that's unbelievable. Slow down. Give me some time. Wow. Something GENUINELY FUNNY just happened on this show. Unthinkable. It's a blooper scene where Evan Peters' character is leading them to safety through the dark tunnel and Sarah Paulson's character trips and falls, and they all break character. Evan Peters' character is coming onto Sarah Paulson's character during the blooper and asking her out. Which is hot... it's nice to see them injecting some sexuality into his appearance here that isn't warped and totally homo. Thanks for the 10 seconds of normalcy.

Okay so apparently Evan and Sarah's characters got MARRIED and now Evan is kissing Sarah which is hot. I mean it's better than him kissing a dude. Seems like Sarah (who is a real life lezbo) prettymuch likes it a lot and feels pretty lucky to be kissing Evan Peters, and as for Evan I think he prettymuch liked it too. I'm sure Emma beat him up later though... guy's a fuckin' pussy. Why the hell did they dye his hair red for this role. I mean as good as it is to see Evan Peters not being gay as fuck... I don't really care about their relationship. At all. I don't really care about seeing this. So Evan's character is apparently going to be leaving Sarah's alone for 6 months because he has a screen test to go to, and she's insisting she's not worried about him being gone that long. Then she gives the camera this super concerned look like she is scared. I mean WHAT THE FUCK. The worst that could happen is he divorces your ass... I mean you KNOW he's gonna cheat on you, it's a given. Why even act like you care?? That just bothers me, it's straight up dumb.

And now Sarah's character is getting all defensive and flipping out about an age comment this chick made over her and Evan's character being married. I mean, what the fuck is the hangup here. There are older dudes with younger chicks all the time, nobody cares. In this scenario, it's a rich and famous older chick with a young dude. It's fucking commonplace. It's literally nothing... but this rich/famous actress on this show is supposed to be ACTUALLY getting defensive and self-conscious about the situation?? Again, zero percent believable. Absolute zero.

I ACTUALLY think Evan Peters is kinda dumb. Like in real life. I think he must be kinda dumb. I'm just throwing that out there.

Awww shit, the message on the show just said during the Blood Moon, every single participant in the show died EXCEPT ONE. The show never aired and apparently the next footage is what was found and assembled. Or whatever. Which doesn't even make sense but, LOL. I'll take it. The cast is just obnoxious at this point and I'm even rooting for seeing Evan Peters' character get kaput. Really I think the writers WANTED the audience to feel this way about this season... there's no way they don't realize how utter trash Roanoke has been. There's just no way.

Evan Peters' "MOM" tattoo though. I can't believe he got that tattoo. And it's weird they didn't cover it up for the hot tub scene. I guess they figured it could have been plausible. It's funny because earlier in their wedding scene, he said something pervy and then said "Sorry mom!" Hmmm... and of course I also wonder if it really is a tribute tattoo for his mom or if "M.O.M." stands for something else. Man of Mystery? WTF is he jerking off in the hot tub? LOL, and I'm sorry but Evan as a tough dude in any capacity is not believable whatsoever. LOL the crazy nurses just killed the shit out of him though. Whatevs.

Well that's the end of that episode... might as well go ahead and start on the next one. Get this shit over with.

[Mister Obvious]

Episode seven. I expect it to suck and be dumb.

It's strange that I feel such vitriol for this season because I usually really do love this show.

ROFLMAOOO!!!

Kathy Bates BATSHIT INSANE character who thinks she's ACTUALLY the Butcher just took an ax to the asshole producer and his 2 crewmates at their production trailer near the set!!! ROFL this is hilarious!!! They really are going with the 'kill the crew and actors' plot... I didn't expect them to actually do this. I'm not saying it makes the season suck any less, but things... MIGHT be looking up. Can't imagine what the remaining episodes are about though.

LMFAO Kathy Bates is pretty damn funny. I like what they've done with her on this show, it's good. The whole "fourth wall" thing is cute. Her flipping back and forth between actress and character is pretty legendary. She's really amazing.

Cuba is great at playing an asshole though. It's his voice.

I think 'the real' Lee is the one who lives.

LOLOL, Lee just shot Kathy Bates' crazy character. LOL.

This season really is just dumb as a box of shit though. I just really think it's irredeemable.

Now 'real' Lee, Angela and Sarah are hunted down in the woods by the Polks or whatever the redneck's family name was. So I guess they've all been captured.

Meanwhile, Kathy Bates is still alive and just pulled the bullet out, she's gone full Butcher now and totally lost it.

This season should have been called American Horror Story: Essentially Shit.

Now Shelby (the wife chick) is about to catch her husband having sex with the Witch of the Wood (Lady Gaga) in the basement. Who he's in love with. And Shelby got super injured earlier but the guy who plays her husband in the show (who she had an affair with) woke her up and took her to the basement so she could catch them. So her husband tells her the reason he agreed to do the return to Roanoke was because he was in love with the Witch of the Wood and Shelby LITERALLY KILLS HIM with a crowbar. ROFL. Like she went PSYCHO and just beats him, repeatedly, to death. LOL! That was kinda awesome. Meanwhile Cuba's character (the fake husband) is like OMG, and tries to hold her down. LMFAO. And she's just screaming and freaking out. ROFL! That was a good twist.

I gotta say the Polk family is pretty annoying.

LMFAO Cuba is trying to get the crowbar away from Shelby and now she's freaking out because she realizes she just killed the shit out of her husband, ROFLMAOLOLOL. He's all calmly telling her to turn herself in.

LOL, Mama Polk is such a creepy bitch.

LMFAO Kathy Bates is such a great touch to this show... and now she's literally summoning the torch carrying ghost army. They're all walking up and she turns around like, WTF. It makes no sense though because where is the REAL Butcher among these ghosts? Oh. There she is. LOL. LMFAO the real Butcher just killed her.

I would consider that episode to be about 25% up to the standard quality which I expect out of AHS.

[Mister Obvious]

Super delighted to find out the season is OVER and there were only 10 episodes this season! Awesome! I'll watch the rest of the season now and just get it over with.

Moving onto episode 8. 

Lily Rabe is a really pretty bitch for sure. Nothing will ever top her Misty Day character in Coven... that shit was awesome. It's just so weird how much of a total fail this season was. Compared to former seasons, it's like it isn't even the same series. Lame as fuck.

Fucking literally nothing to say about that episode.

Moving onto episode 9.

So there's a group of obsessed fans with selfie sticks walking thru the woods trying to find the house. The dumb bitch in the group mentions the "patriarchy" AGAIN. Wow, just wow. This season was a just a complete loss. It really was. It was so monumentally bad. I really wonder if this is it for AHS. Is it seriously over? If they have another epic failure of a season like this again, I am gonna have to say something I never thought I would say. It may be time for them to throw in the towel. Seriously. If another bad season follows this one, they should have just ended the fucking series with Hotel. That would have been a good note to end on.

OMG this dumbass bitch is TAISSA FARMIGA from former AHS seasons. Her lines were literally "Racism is scary. Patriarchy is scary." Holy fuck I can really hardly believe this. I can really just hardly believe it.

I mean honest to God this is so heinously dumb it's like... should I even bother typing this shit out?? Fuck it. I'm not gonna.

LOL, the millennials in this episode are pretty funny.

There's so much stupid shit going on in this episode, but I really can't even be bothered to comment on it. It's just so dumb and there's only one more episode left. Hell I might even skip ahead. Probably not, but I'm tempted.

OMG. The real Lee was lost in the woods after night fall, she'll all fucked up and shit. Witch of the Wood comes out of nowhere, kills a pig and offers Lee the heart just like she did with the Butcher. And Lee is eating the fuckin' heart!!! So that means she's like the new right hand bitch of the Witch of the Wood. That's kinda cool.

The season is still total shit, but Taissa Farmiga is a pretty good lil actress. I like her.

[Mister Obvious]

Alright, FINALLY. Episode 10. The last episode! Woot!

This episode starts out with a flashback where the whole cast was on an awards show or some bullshit for "My Roanoke Nightmare". Thoroughly lame.

Some of the weirdest, lamest shit I've ever seen for sure.

Wow, this is just epic stupidity. I really just can't even comment on this.

They obviously tried to make it stupid.

They're basically trolling at this point.

So glad I'm done watching this shit.

Had to be the worst season of any show ever.

I mean I laughed a couple times, but other than that it was just total crap.

[Master Oblivious]

I feel bad for people who are going to get their introduction to AHS through this season...

They will probably never watch another season and go away thinking the show just sucks.

I'd start with AHS: Asylum and then jump to AHS: Apocalypse.



I don't actually remember Roanoke to be honest. 

I love the actresses of AHS. One of them...omg. MAJOR crush. 

She's actually the coolest person in my research of the actresses I've thought were great. 
She's the "valley girl" in Apocalypse. Leslie something I think is her name...