I need some advice. It's about my pretend Internet girlfriend, you see. She's been distant lately. And not just because she's 800 miles away either. 
But seriously, ladies and germs. She doesn't return my affection. I can rarely coax terms of endearment out of her anymore. What I'm trying to say here is, she's cold as ice. Like the queen of Antarctica, that's how cold she is. I'm so hot for her, but she's so cold. What should I do? 
Posts: 80,199
Threads: 4,863
Joined: May 2016
That might work.
Posts: 80,199
Threads: 4,863
Joined: May 2016
Anywhere but on the ass or the face.
I wouldn't want to mark up her lovely face anyway.
But why not on the ass? Seems that would be the best place for it.
Posts: 80,199
Threads: 4,863
Joined: May 2016
I just don’t like being smacked on the naked ass.
The ‘not in the ass or face’ rule applies to penetration too.
*wicked cackling*
I mean it wouldn't have to be bare-assed. You could wear your little silk teddy.
Please put on your little silk teddy at once. TIA!
Posts: 80,199
Threads: 4,863
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 3,726
Threads: 311
Joined: Sep 2017
Just forget the bitch there is a million more
(03-16-2018, 05:53 PM)Trix Wrote: That sounds fabulous.
Yes, it would. And remember, if it hurts, I'll kiss it and make it all better. 
(03-16-2018, 05:55 PM)Fungus Wrote: Just forget the bitch there is a million more
Au contraire, my simian brother. There is only one Most High Sysop-ess of the Universe.
Posts: 80,199
Threads: 4,863
Joined: May 2016
I’m getting ‘SYSOP’ tattooed across the knuckles of my mouse hand.
(03-16-2018, 06:05 PM)Trix Wrote: I’m getting ‘SYSOP’ tattooed across the knuckles of my mouse hand.
I'm not too fond of knuckle-tattoo-having hos, as previously explained.
Posts: 3,726
Threads: 311
Joined: Sep 2017
(03-16-2018, 05:58 PM)Guest Wrote: Au contraire, my simian brother. There is only one Most High Sysop-ess of the Universe.
lol ya think? You keep thinkin that then fuck brain see where it gets ya
Posts: 80,199
Threads: 4,863
Joined: May 2016
OMG LOL, I didn’t even think of that.
(03-16-2018, 06:08 PM)Trix Wrote: OMG LOL, I didn’t even think of that.
The bitch done me wrong. She could never be half the pretend Internet girlfriend you are. 
Posts: 68
Threads: 12
Joined: Nov 2016
I almost took this thread seriously 
(03-16-2018, 06:13 PM)danisantiagodiaz Wrote: I almost took this thread seriously
The : in the first paragraph didn't give it away at all, huh?
Posts: 3,726
Threads: 311
Joined: Sep 2017
(03-16-2018, 06:13 PM)danisantiagodiaz Wrote: I almost took this thread seriously
Now this I believe 
Posts: 80,199
Threads: 4,863
Joined: May 2016
Hey OP, you care if Dani joins in next time we get our freak on??
And by join in, I mean you stand and face the corner while we get it on...
 
|
