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(10-10-2018, 04:26 PM)Guest Wrote: And the thought that the last 13 years of my life wasn’t real, that he didn’t love me because I’m not his twin soul or whatever. Kinda stings I’ll admit. Which I’m sure is his intended purpose.
You know you are and you know he loves you...
It does suck to deal with the hurt of that concept, but you know good and well it's not true.
10-10-2018, 04:46 PM
I’m not sure I do know that anymore. Before yes my belief was true and solid. But now...it’s pain my heart gets from him not love or comfort. So I’m just supossed to believe he loves me thru all the vileness. When he tells me he is working on his astral projecting so he can check in on me in hell to see how much I’m suffering. Those are really just sweet romantic nothings? Or how he’ll take my reason for living just to tear what is left of my soul apart so I die alone. Just a little love note? I have love notes from when we first started dating, got engaged our first child. Let’s just say they’re a little different. My mommy heart is full and cherished my husband romantic love heart is bleeding out.
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He's just hurt...
I'm telling you, it's all just a bunch of lashing out in pain.
I'm not saying that makes it right.
Absolutely not.
But that's what it is.
Well you’re right about that...it doesn’t make it right. It’s tragic, but I’m glad ppl are having fun and being entertained at the expense of my tragedy. I don’t even get money from it anymore. I have a paypal. But no one ever seems to offer that. I need over the counter cold meds/cough syrup. And coats warm clothes for me and the kids. Oh and money for food, there’s always a week where the food stamps run out, and that is this week. If ppl care so much like Trix says they do....
http://paypal.me/KGreene81
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I mean if you look at the timeline of trauma, it's just exceptionally fucked up...
You have Zane, a beautiful (fucking gorgeous) 34 year old man diagnosed with alcoholic liver disease, told if he doesn't cut out the silly alcoholic bullshit, he could die in a few years.
That's bad enough as it is... not being able to enjoy one of your favorite vices because it's LITERALLY killing you? What a kick in the nuts!
Then only a few years later, he's hit with the world crushing devastation of hearing his wife is terminally ill??
What the fuck do you expect a man to do?
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Running like hell is not an unrealistic thing to expect in such a situation...
But to continue running on and on in order to deal with that trauma, risking heading face first into MORE trauma...
It's a bad cycle going on here, and the solution is to try something else, because eventually it'll become clear that running isn't working anymore.
The running should be respected and held sacred...
You absolutely should be able to run away and integrate the trauma via that method.
Everyone should be allowed to do that and nobody should give them shit for it.
And of course it's different for everyone re: how long it will take to 'run out' that trauma.
But at a certain point, the running becomes detrimental and no longer serves a helpful purpose.
So you think if Forrest knew Jenny was sick and pregnant he would have still left? I don’t think he would have.
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Nah but Jenny treated Forrest like shit and then she got AIDS and died.
(10-10-2018, 06:18 PM)ITrix Wrote: Nah but Jenny treated Forrest like shit and then she got AIDS and died.
Is that so different? I mean according to you. You claim I was emotionally abusive. And dying is dying, esp when you know In advance.
Trix- do you think at this point Zane is capable of raising 3 little children in a healthy stable environment? Honesty please.
Maybe zane secretly wants to die with cuervo in the mexican desert. I hope he isnt captured and tortured by a drug cartel ...they will suspect he is cia/dea undercover , bonnie might get returned to the wild, god bless all of you
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(10-10-2018, 06:39 PM)Guest Wrote: Trix- do you think at this point Zane is capable of raising 3 little children in a healthy stable environment? Honesty please.
Hon, if he was, he would be...
He's barely capable of taking care of himself...
I don't know if you've noticed or not, but HE'S FUCKING HOMELESS.
(10-10-2018, 06:45 PM)Guest Wrote: Maybe zane secretly wants to die with cuervo in the mexican desert.
Prettymuch. Except I'm sure he'd prefer deep down that Cuervo not be there...
Which is fine, I'm sure he won't be. The first town they come across that has heroin and hookers, Cuervo will be out of the picture.
Hon, if he was, he would be...
He's barely capable of taking care of himself...
I don't know if you've noticed or not, but HE'S FUCKING HOMELESS.
Can you tell him that? Honestly. He’s living in his grandiose dreams. Maybe??? He will listen to you, please TRY. Please!
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(10-10-2018, 07:06 PM)Guest Wrote: Can you tell him that? Honestly. He’s living in his grandiose dreams. Maybe??? He will listen to you, please TRY. Please!
He reads the thread and sees everything I say...
You know better than to think he'll listen to anyone.
I feel the same way about you, or at least I used to...
YOU talk to him, YOU make him listen to reason.
Well if he won't listen to you, he won't listen to anybody.
His viewers even on this very thread have told him not to do what he's doing...
All kinds of people try to tell him, he just doesn't listen.
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As far as running away from trauma...
As I keep saying, you keep running for too long and eventually you're going to run face first into MORE TRAUMA, rendering your run for the sake of integration USELESS at that point.
He hasn't encountered any serious APPARENT trauma during his run so far... there are things that COULD HAVE been traumatic, like Space Cowboy keeping him in a chicken coup and buttraping him nightly. That would have been traumatic.
Then there have been the more passively traumatic things, like hanging out with psychotic, broken mentally deranged, drug addled hookers in Mexicali and doing God only knows what kind of disgusting drugs and whatever else with them...
Yeah, that's a POTENTIALLY traumatic situation, but nothing overt. Nothing too OBVIOUS.
But now, the tide's turning... now he's going into OBVIOUSLY POTENTIALLY TRAUMATIC territory where he's risking his life and safety. Crossing illegally into Mexico presents a barrage of possible traumas... it's safe to say at this point (and for weeks now actually) that his time of "USEFUL" running has ended.
AndreTreeCastle
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(10-10-2018, 07:13 PM)Trix Wrote: As far as running away from trauma...
As I keep saying, you keep running for too long and eventually you're going to run face first into MORE TRAUMA, rendering your run for the sake of integration USELESS at that point.
He hasn't encountered any serious APPARENT trauma during his run so far... there are things that COULD HAVE been traumatic, like Space Cowboy keeping him in a chicken coup and buttraping him nightly. That would have been traumatic.
Then there have been the more passively traumatic things, like hanging out with psychotic, broken mentally deranged, drug addled hookers in Mexicali and doing God only knows what kind of disgusting drugs and whatever else with them...
Yeah, that's a POTENTIALLY traumatic situation, but nothing overt. Nothing too OBVIOUS.
But now, the tide's turning... now he's going into OBVIOUSLY POTENTIALLY TRAUMATIC territory where he's risking his life and safety. Crossing illegally into Mexico presents a barrage of possible traumas... it's safe to say at this point (and for weeks now actually) that his time of "USEFUL" running has ended. The power of Zane's Will is rarely matched, but his pain and his power are taking him to the center of the abyss. Wish there was something to be done, He won't listen to me or any man. He needs women he loves and respects to guide him. Don't know if it will get through to him but keep conveying the reality of the situation to him Trix, you're one of the few he really listens to.
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I want Zane to have some stability and security in his life.
I think balance is the most important thing in existence...
The Art of Balance.
Everything in moderation...
Take your running in moderation. Take your security and stability in moderation.
Go out and adventure for months. But have a place to come back to.
Being adrift with nothing to balance it out is dangerous.
I believe in freedom...
But I think it's foolish to assert that freedom can't be enjoyed whilst still keeping a secure foundation.
You can have security, AND freedom... and there can be seasons in your life where you AMP UP the freedom and go balls to the wall with it.
"There is no wisdom to your freedom."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZT6Fa29VUM
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(10-10-2018, 07:13 PM)Trix Wrote: As far as running away from trauma...
As I keep saying, you keep running for too long and eventually you're going to run face first into MORE TRAUMA, rendering your run for the sake of integration USELESS at that point.
He hasn't encountered any serious APPARENT trauma during his run so far... there are things that COULD HAVE been traumatic, like Space Cowboy keeping him in a chicken coup and buttraping him nightly. That would have been traumatic.
Then 0oh my fucking God you are soo fucking sexy! I just imagine you whipping the shit out of me while you say that.
Cuervo and I are crossing the wall now. We love you guys.
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I think you're sexy too Zane.
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