I wonder what happened to Mike Adams' sexy ass to make him such a doomer?

[Mister Obvious]

I wonder what's Mike Adams' sign??

I bet he's...

Hmmm...

Maybe an Aquarius??

Or maybe like...

A Scorpio.

Most Mikes I've known have been Scorpios or Aquas.

Google says Mike Adams is either a Goat or a Rooster on the Chinese zodiac.

Rooster makes sense for him specifically, but I guess he could be a Goat too.

Or maybe a Horse depending on whether he was born super early in the year.

But he looks too young to be a 1967 even... 1969 seems about right.