Goodbye, Teal Swan...

[Mister Obvious]

It's exactly like River Phoenix's childhood, weird names and all...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_Phoenix

In 1973, the family joined a religious cult named the Children of God. The family had settled in Caracas, Venezuela where the Children of God had stationed them to work as missionaries and fruit gatherers. Although Phoenix rarely talked about the cult, he was quoted by Arlyn Phoenix in a 1994 Esquire article as having said "They're disgusting, they're ruining people's lives." According to Vanity Fair magazine, Phoenix was raped at the age of four. In an interview with Details magazine in November 1991, Phoenix stated he lost his virginity at age four while in the Children of God, "but I've blocked it out." Years later his brother Joaquin would claim that River was joking saying "It was a complete and total joke. It was just fucking with the press. It was literally a joke, because he was so tired of being asked ridiculous questions by the press."

And fuck you, Joaquin... I guess being a lying fuck is the reason why you're the one who's alive and still making movies and raking in that cash and Phoenix is long dead. Fucking betrayer.