01-16-2022, 03:11 PM
So I've been thinking over what could possibly be the purpose of repeating myself ad infinitum on this thread and others here on my site.
It's a bit of a conundrum...
On one hand, I made the site so that I could eventually study my own mind/patterns and tally everything up once it was all said and done, to sort of make a 'mind map' and see what my loops/cycles were, how long they lasted...
Essentially the idea is to see if there are any patterns of timing that can be found in my thought processes, certain things I discuss/repeat. I don't really have the ability to do that with software or anything, it'd have to be done manually, which let's be honest... that's never gonna happen. It'd be too much work and I don't have time to devote to it. Maybe someday there will be software available that could work for that purpose.
Like basically query the entire database of this site (my posts only) and organize all the results by the number of times I said the same thing, how far apart they were, etc. in order to find patterns.
My point is...
On one hand, I could be embarrassed to repeat myself. I could be embarrassed by a lot of things I've said on this site. I could be embarrassed to look crazy, stupid, forgetful, or any number of other seemingly negative traits...
Or, I could just surrender to what I feel is an overarching purpose behind what I'm doing. I could surrender to the notion that I've done this for a reason. I could surrender to the idea of being comfortable, here, in my own "home" on the internet which I made for the purpose of studying these cycles/patterns within myself.
So that's what I choose to do. I choose to suspend the innate human tendency to feel embarrassment. I choose to have no shame in repeating myself. I choose to do this as a way to devote myself to 'science'... the idea that someday, due to our comprehensive online profiles that we've built up by using the internet for decades, we may be able to uncover measurable cycles and patterns in our own thought processes and therefore understand the human mind better.
It's a bit of a conundrum...
On one hand, I made the site so that I could eventually study my own mind/patterns and tally everything up once it was all said and done, to sort of make a 'mind map' and see what my loops/cycles were, how long they lasted...
Essentially the idea is to see if there are any patterns of timing that can be found in my thought processes, certain things I discuss/repeat. I don't really have the ability to do that with software or anything, it'd have to be done manually, which let's be honest... that's never gonna happen. It'd be too much work and I don't have time to devote to it. Maybe someday there will be software available that could work for that purpose.
Like basically query the entire database of this site (my posts only) and organize all the results by the number of times I said the same thing, how far apart they were, etc. in order to find patterns.
My point is...
On one hand, I could be embarrassed to repeat myself. I could be embarrassed by a lot of things I've said on this site. I could be embarrassed to look crazy, stupid, forgetful, or any number of other seemingly negative traits...
Or, I could just surrender to what I feel is an overarching purpose behind what I'm doing. I could surrender to the notion that I've done this for a reason. I could surrender to the idea of being comfortable, here, in my own "home" on the internet which I made for the purpose of studying these cycles/patterns within myself.
So that's what I choose to do. I choose to suspend the innate human tendency to feel embarrassment. I choose to have no shame in repeating myself. I choose to do this as a way to devote myself to 'science'... the idea that someday, due to our comprehensive online profiles that we've built up by using the internet for decades, we may be able to uncover measurable cycles and patterns in our own thought processes and therefore understand the human mind better.
