04-24-2022, 01:41 AM
"The Assassination of Jesse James By That FUCKING COWARD Robert Ford" (2007) - Review & Commentary
WARNING: SPOILERS. HAPPENING. BELOW. DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.
0:59 [gentle, melancholy theme playing] BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. FUUUUCCCCKKKK, I made the right decision on how to spend this fine Saturday evening.
1:15 apparently this is supposed to be one of the more historically accurate depictions of Jesse James' (late) life.
It sure doesn't hurt that he's being portrayed by Brad Pitt's sexy ass, I gotta say. Great casting choice. I don't think most people realize what a great actor Brad Pitt really is.
2:30 wow, these opening words are really beautiful.
2:40 "Rooms seemed hotter when he was in them" bahahaha, I BET THEY FUCKING DIIIDDDDDdd.
4:10 man I CANNOT STAND Casey Affleck. He ALWAYS plays a creepster, AT BEST. He's been in some of the worst, most morally repulsive movies of all time. Figures they'd choose his hateworthy ass to play the coward piece of shit who killed Jesse James!!! I know he's just an actor but damn, I would have chosen better roles... seriously.
10:38 "She gave me a kind price too." Lol.
18:50 maybe if you pull that mask down and get naked!????1
22:30 "Get down on your knees." OooOoOooo Jesse, you don't have to ask me twice baby!!!
22:52 that's exactly what I'd say to him too!? Damn, this movie really is accurate!?
At least Robert was decently cute...
https://imgur.com/a/UFJbACf
Would have sucked to get killed by an ugly!
30:20 is this snakehandlin' part true?! God what a man... *heart eyes*
Interesting: https://www.rogerdeakins.com/lighting-2/...ding-scene
33:08 they're low key making me feel bad for Bob, I ain't gonna shit ya.
34:15 this is kiiiiiinda gay, but at least they're hot?!
34:35 hell, even I wanna be you, sexy sumbitch!!!
42:00 he sounds about as paranoid as me!?
42:38 he was probably psychic. Like me.
43:00 I think the documentary narration style of this movie is preferable and well done.
43:25 it's interesting they were around Russellville in Kentucky... these are places I've been to as a native Kentuckian.
https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/55982
https://kyhistory.pastperfectonline.com/...8408503300
I wonder how close Jesse James ever got to where I am now and where I grew up... it makes me so excited. Looking at some of the places he was known to be, it seems likely that he passed directly through my neck of the woods. I may masturbate to this later.
44:15 lol this scene is awkward as hell!
45:15 ooo, she's about to get a hot piece of dick injected into her sad life!!!
48:08 uh, I think I'd rather do it directly outside rather than in the shithouse, but I guess in those days you took your thrills where you could get 'em.
50:40 damn that shit looks dismal as fuck, living back in those days. What else was there to do other than be a troublemakin' asshole?!
54:29 Brad Pitt is definitely one of the most beautiful men who has ever graced the screen though. Right up there with Yul Brynner I reckon.
54:48 [slow, ominous theme plays] rofl.
55:15 he looks like he could use a fuckin' ride into town, even if it IS the last thing he ever does.
56:20 this movie really does seem to suggest on a lot of levels that Jesse James tempted fate quite a bit, maybe even had a death wish somewhere deep inside. Again though, who knows how accurate it really is.
57:20 wasn't Jesse James kiiind of a serial killer though? It's said he killed at least 17 people... I mean, at a certain point it's more than just wild west rowdiness and self-defense.
57:36 [slow, somber theme plays]
1:05:30 I don't get it, what's the story between these guys? Lol.
1:07:08 OOOOOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOO SHIIIITTTTTTT.
1:08:30 whoa man, this scene is WILD. WILLLLDDDDD.
1:17:05 nobody could have nailed this creepster role better than Casey Affleck though, that much is true.
1:26:45 *cough*SERIAL KILLER*cough*
Feller seems to have a wee bit of a killin' problem so far as I can tell.
1:40:00 so they full on Judas'd Jesse James... I see how it is.
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2007/nov/30/3
That article summarizes the situation in a very interesting way... essentially saying that Jesse James ultimately knew Robert was gonna kill him and he basically let him do so in a covert and tactical way. Honestly, it seems like Robert was Jesse's bitchboy pawn til the very end.
1:46:50 you know what... everybody makes it sound like Jesse was "paranoid" toward the end of his life, but can we just give a little fucking credit where it's due?? HE WAS RIGHT. THEY REALLY WERE PLOTTING AGAINST HIM. Period. Point blank. Bottom line. The man was right.
1:57:35 so did Jesse really give him the very gun that Bob shot him with?? None of the info I can find backs up that claim.
2:00:00 dude THIS SHIT CANNNOTTTT BE TRUE. What the actual FUCK!? I mean... WHAT. What IS this?!?!? There's no way. How would they even know this unless Bob admitted to this shit!? HE WOULD NEVER ADMIT TO THIS SHIT!!! NO ONE WOULD ADMIT TO THIS!!!
2:11:20 I mean... either history and its details are just recounted all wrong, or Jesse James knew he was about to get killed. For real. What other explanation is there? He turned his back on them. He was dusting a fucking picture. Like. Come on. COME ON.
2:13:10 "Oh you DID NOT just kill my fineass husband?!" I tell you what, I'd be mad not to get any more of that dick.
2:19:30 Charley was a drug addict who totally lost his mind and ultimately killed himself.
2:31:49 "No one would ever pay $.25 to stand in the rooms he grew up in." Daaayum.
That was a great movie.
WARNING: SPOILERS. HAPPENING. BELOW. DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.
0:59 [gentle, melancholy theme playing] BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. FUUUUCCCCKKKK, I made the right decision on how to spend this fine Saturday evening.
1:15 apparently this is supposed to be one of the more historically accurate depictions of Jesse James' (late) life.
It sure doesn't hurt that he's being portrayed by Brad Pitt's sexy ass, I gotta say. Great casting choice. I don't think most people realize what a great actor Brad Pitt really is.
2:30 wow, these opening words are really beautiful.
2:40 "Rooms seemed hotter when he was in them" bahahaha, I BET THEY FUCKING DIIIDDDDDdd.
4:10 man I CANNOT STAND Casey Affleck. He ALWAYS plays a creepster, AT BEST. He's been in some of the worst, most morally repulsive movies of all time. Figures they'd choose his hateworthy ass to play the coward piece of shit who killed Jesse James!!! I know he's just an actor but damn, I would have chosen better roles... seriously.
10:38 "She gave me a kind price too." Lol.
18:50 maybe if you pull that mask down and get naked!????1
22:30 "Get down on your knees." OooOoOooo Jesse, you don't have to ask me twice baby!!!
22:52 that's exactly what I'd say to him too!? Damn, this movie really is accurate!?
At least Robert was decently cute...
https://imgur.com/a/UFJbACf
Would have sucked to get killed by an ugly!
30:20 is this snakehandlin' part true?! God what a man... *heart eyes*
Interesting: https://www.rogerdeakins.com/lighting-2/...ding-scene
33:08 they're low key making me feel bad for Bob, I ain't gonna shit ya.
34:15 this is kiiiiiinda gay, but at least they're hot?!
34:35 hell, even I wanna be you, sexy sumbitch!!!
42:00 he sounds about as paranoid as me!?
42:38 he was probably psychic. Like me.
43:00 I think the documentary narration style of this movie is preferable and well done.
43:25 it's interesting they were around Russellville in Kentucky... these are places I've been to as a native Kentuckian.
https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/55982
https://kyhistory.pastperfectonline.com/...8408503300
I wonder how close Jesse James ever got to where I am now and where I grew up... it makes me so excited. Looking at some of the places he was known to be, it seems likely that he passed directly through my neck of the woods. I may masturbate to this later.
44:15 lol this scene is awkward as hell!
45:15 ooo, she's about to get a hot piece of dick injected into her sad life!!!
48:08 uh, I think I'd rather do it directly outside rather than in the shithouse, but I guess in those days you took your thrills where you could get 'em.
50:40 damn that shit looks dismal as fuck, living back in those days. What else was there to do other than be a troublemakin' asshole?!
54:29 Brad Pitt is definitely one of the most beautiful men who has ever graced the screen though. Right up there with Yul Brynner I reckon.
54:48 [slow, ominous theme plays] rofl.
55:15 he looks like he could use a fuckin' ride into town, even if it IS the last thing he ever does.
56:20 this movie really does seem to suggest on a lot of levels that Jesse James tempted fate quite a bit, maybe even had a death wish somewhere deep inside. Again though, who knows how accurate it really is.
57:20 wasn't Jesse James kiiind of a serial killer though? It's said he killed at least 17 people... I mean, at a certain point it's more than just wild west rowdiness and self-defense.
57:36 [slow, somber theme plays]
1:05:30 I don't get it, what's the story between these guys? Lol.
1:07:08 OOOOOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOO SHIIIITTTTTTT.
1:08:30 whoa man, this scene is WILD. WILLLLDDDDD.
1:17:05 nobody could have nailed this creepster role better than Casey Affleck though, that much is true.
1:26:45 *cough*SERIAL KILLER*cough*
Feller seems to have a wee bit of a killin' problem so far as I can tell.
1:40:00 so they full on Judas'd Jesse James... I see how it is.
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2007/nov/30/3
That article summarizes the situation in a very interesting way... essentially saying that Jesse James ultimately knew Robert was gonna kill him and he basically let him do so in a covert and tactical way. Honestly, it seems like Robert was Jesse's bitchboy pawn til the very end.
1:46:50 you know what... everybody makes it sound like Jesse was "paranoid" toward the end of his life, but can we just give a little fucking credit where it's due?? HE WAS RIGHT. THEY REALLY WERE PLOTTING AGAINST HIM. Period. Point blank. Bottom line. The man was right.
1:57:35 so did Jesse really give him the very gun that Bob shot him with?? None of the info I can find backs up that claim.
2:00:00 dude THIS SHIT CANNNOTTTT BE TRUE. What the actual FUCK!? I mean... WHAT. What IS this?!?!? There's no way. How would they even know this unless Bob admitted to this shit!? HE WOULD NEVER ADMIT TO THIS SHIT!!! NO ONE WOULD ADMIT TO THIS!!!
2:11:20 I mean... either history and its details are just recounted all wrong, or Jesse James knew he was about to get killed. For real. What other explanation is there? He turned his back on them. He was dusting a fucking picture. Like. Come on. COME ON.
2:13:10 "Oh you DID NOT just kill my fineass husband?!" I tell you what, I'd be mad not to get any more of that dick.
2:19:30 Charley was a drug addict who totally lost his mind and ultimately killed himself.
2:31:49 "No one would ever pay $.25 to stand in the rooms he grew up in." Daaayum.
That was a great movie.
