09-20-2025, 12:24 PM
Jari Kessler... I feel too aware of his skeletal system. He looks like a skating undead wraith wrapped in a pretty skein of flesh. I feel like he's too overtly feminine in his movements, which exposes some stiffness and clunkiness.
I don't think he deserved the score he got. I had him lower. I'm not hating, I just ... I need more thrust. I want to see the male thrust in all male skaters. I don't want to see anything too girly. It's okay to pop the ass a bit, show that shit off, like, I mean, fuck yes, but when it's too feminine and you're just holding it out there like you're trying to back your skirt off your ass to show the judges your little onesie wedgie to get whatever "edge" you can, and you're a man? No.
David.
Lewton.
Brain.
• First of all... THAT is a man. That is a man's man. Dude looks like an assassin. Ninja.
• Those blood-red gloves out of all that black, with the red accents on the body: yes, please.
• Not feeling the shaved head with the presence of stubble. You can see the dude is not bald. He's got good coverage. If you're going to go that tight, just go total Billy Corgan/Nasferatu, and make the dome as shiny as the ice. Don't leave the stubble. It's too close a match to the facial stubble, so it creates this weird chin-strap/helmet effect. That's my only complaint.
• Dude literally OPENED WITH SUICIDE. Good God... that takes balls. Or something. Let's see where this goes.
• He's perfect with his ass. He's not popping it out too much, and when he's going backward, he's keeping it in the chamber. It's like "It's here, y'all, but you ain't getting it like that." He's letting his whole body talk, not just the ass. His ass IS pitch-fucking perfect and he knows exactly how that shit is showing through the leather, so he can just let that shit BE. I mean, oh my god... will you look at THAT. No need to push it. It's there, yes, and... it's wonderful.
• This is male figure skating. Look at the thrust. It's perfect. Good fucking lord, it's perfect.
• He's sticking the landing like the footage is in reverse; it's fucking flawless. There wasn't even a transitional sinking of body or shaking of thigh, no sense of gravity, just absolutely seamless. Wow. They call that "soft knees", and homeboy is angelic.
• Bro. Oh my god. His command.
• Wow.
• Oops... he looked like he got a LITTLE dizzy coming out of that tight spin leading into the closing bow. He's smiling a little sheepishly because he knows it. Fuck. You do NOT want that shit happening in the closing seconds. No. The closing is a microcosm of landing a flying spin--you have to LAND the whole movement. Still, this was a hell of a performance. I don't think it's enough to get in the 90's, though, even without the mistake. This was a high-80's performance imo.
• The guy sitting next to him looks kind of like me. Weird. Whoa. He looks a lot like me. Feels weird. Like I'm seeing a hologram of myself. Even his facial expressions. I do that exact shit. OMG he's pointing out something in the flower arrangement. He's talking shit about something. He's scoffing at some detail in the flower arrangement while they're about to announce the fucking SCORE. Am I there without knowing it? Can I be in two places at once? This is surreal. It's like me if I looked less like Christian Slater and more like Alec Baldwin, basically. That dude looks like he mainlines vodka.
• 73. Really? That's enough for 2nd but... still... it's too low. That should have been about ten points higher with the slippage at the end; without it, a solid 88 or 89.
I don't think he deserved the score he got. I had him lower. I'm not hating, I just ... I need more thrust. I want to see the male thrust in all male skaters. I don't want to see anything too girly. It's okay to pop the ass a bit, show that shit off, like, I mean, fuck yes, but when it's too feminine and you're just holding it out there like you're trying to back your skirt off your ass to show the judges your little onesie wedgie to get whatever "edge" you can, and you're a man? No.
David.
Lewton.
Brain.
• First of all... THAT is a man. That is a man's man. Dude looks like an assassin. Ninja.
• Those blood-red gloves out of all that black, with the red accents on the body: yes, please.
• Not feeling the shaved head with the presence of stubble. You can see the dude is not bald. He's got good coverage. If you're going to go that tight, just go total Billy Corgan/Nasferatu, and make the dome as shiny as the ice. Don't leave the stubble. It's too close a match to the facial stubble, so it creates this weird chin-strap/helmet effect. That's my only complaint.
• Dude literally OPENED WITH SUICIDE. Good God... that takes balls. Or something. Let's see where this goes.
• He's perfect with his ass. He's not popping it out too much, and when he's going backward, he's keeping it in the chamber. It's like "It's here, y'all, but you ain't getting it like that." He's letting his whole body talk, not just the ass. His ass IS pitch-fucking perfect and he knows exactly how that shit is showing through the leather, so he can just let that shit BE. I mean, oh my god... will you look at THAT. No need to push it. It's there, yes, and... it's wonderful.
• This is male figure skating. Look at the thrust. It's perfect. Good fucking lord, it's perfect.
• He's sticking the landing like the footage is in reverse; it's fucking flawless. There wasn't even a transitional sinking of body or shaking of thigh, no sense of gravity, just absolutely seamless. Wow. They call that "soft knees", and homeboy is angelic.
• Bro. Oh my god. His command.
• Wow.
• Oops... he looked like he got a LITTLE dizzy coming out of that tight spin leading into the closing bow. He's smiling a little sheepishly because he knows it. Fuck. You do NOT want that shit happening in the closing seconds. No. The closing is a microcosm of landing a flying spin--you have to LAND the whole movement. Still, this was a hell of a performance. I don't think it's enough to get in the 90's, though, even without the mistake. This was a high-80's performance imo.
• The guy sitting next to him looks kind of like me. Weird. Whoa. He looks a lot like me. Feels weird. Like I'm seeing a hologram of myself. Even his facial expressions. I do that exact shit. OMG he's pointing out something in the flower arrangement. He's talking shit about something. He's scoffing at some detail in the flower arrangement while they're about to announce the fucking SCORE. Am I there without knowing it? Can I be in two places at once? This is surreal. It's like me if I looked less like Christian Slater and more like Alec Baldwin, basically. That dude looks like he mainlines vodka.
• 73. Really? That's enough for 2nd but... still... it's too low. That should have been about ten points higher with the slippage at the end; without it, a solid 88 or 89.
