How are you supposed to tan your buttcrack??

[Mister Obvious]

Obviously one solution is to have enough land to tan nude on... you could make a nice barrier in the middle of your land and tan there regardless of how many acres you have. But again it really only works in flat land regions, not the mountains.

Then the only issue to privacy would be drones... some asshole flying a drone over your private property can’t bitch about seeing you naked.

You’d have to carve a big sign in the ground that says “Drones will be shot down” and then tan beside that. With a rifle.