WARNING: SPOILERS. HAPPENING. BELOW. DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.
You can blame Guest for this review...
http://www.sectual.com/thread-12904-post...l#pid88763
The movie in full is currently on YouTube, but will likely eventually be removed, nevertheless I will be using timestamps and timestamps should remain at least fairly accurate regardless of viewing platform.
Let us begin...
LMFAOOOOOO @ how she's just IMMEDIATELY telling us her fucking traumas RIGHT OFF THE BAT like 10 seconds into the fucking movie. That character development though!!! Let's get this shit outta the way, when's the killin' start?!?!?!?!?!?
(They do kill people right??)
1:40 he's a garbage guy!!! I always wanted to fuck a garbage dude!!! Is that Martin Sheen??
Sissy was 24 in this movie and Sheen was 33.
Martin is the only good Sheen besides Emilio who literally disowned them LMAO.
4:00 Jesus why won't a hotass dude come up to me and say some shit like that??? For fuck's sake. I play with myself in public all the time.
I'm not hella into Martin Sheen in this movie but he's definitely not ugly and if I was her I'd totally let him fuck me super hard.
6:25 LOL at the huge thing that says "BAIT" in conjunction with what they're talking about.
6:45 OMG would you just look at that bitchin' jean jacket.
7:00 that looks like the farm set from the Wizard of Oz.
7:16 check out his bitchin' boots. I like his style.
9:25 I mean honestly this movie is pretty fucking boring so far.
12:20 her narrating is pretty fucking hilarious though.
13:20 LMFAOOO I dig their sex life though!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA OMG this bitch is speaking my mind right now WTF?!?!?!?!?!? I ALWAYS think I'm gonna die before I have sex again. ROFL!!!!!! ALWAYS!!!!!!!
14:40 witchcraft thooouuuuugghhhh!!!!!!!!
15:15 LMFAO SHOT HER DOG?!?!?!?!?!? ROFL!!! Talk about not knowing how the fuck to handle women!!! LMFAOOO!!! Hopefully they kill him first. Her dad's pretty fucking hot though, I gotta admit. Like crazy fucking hot...
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0643105
Warren Oates, he was from my neck of the woods.
19:50 WTF he's just in her house packing her clothes for her? Like without even talking to her? Is that what's going on here? WTF?! OMG... looks like this is gonna get ugly. Too much talking going on. Her dad would have shot him already. Absolutely.
And why is Sissy not saying anything right now?? LMFAO... like she's just not gonna say anything while he's threatening to kill her dad? LMAO!
21:50 LMFAO oh my God... she really is as dumb as she looks. LOL! Oh wow. LOL just wow!!! WOWWW.
Well. Alrighty then.
22:50 what bothers me is that this dude isn't even... psycho, he's just. Meh, like I don't even know what he is. The killin' has begun and it's not even... exciting. It's just... quiet and boring.
24:00 "I found the toaster." I mean fucking REALLY?? REALLY????? What IS this shit???
25:40 I mean I'd like to say that this is some psychological/mindgames kinda shit but, it's really not. Because this chick is straight up dumb and it's not like it's hard to mindfuck dumb people. And it's just like... he seems pretty dumb too. So... it's not really someone smart getting a handle over someone dumb. It's just two lackluster people being boring and lackluster.
I feel like... me and this movie just aren't astrologically compatible.
The thing is like... her monologues are so ridiculous. She never SAYS any of the shit that she's SUPPOSEDLY thinking. So it's not interpreted as though she's this deep ocean with sooo much going on upstairs, and all these poetic thoughts... it's more like there's a huge disconnect between her actual character and this narrator that has basically no fucking relation to her besides her voice.
The synopsis of this movie describes a "killing spree"... one person isn't a "spree". Where's the rest of the fucking killin'???
I'm sorry but so far this movie is taint. 33:20 and it's like... their "love" is so uninspired. It's like it's not even believable. There are so many disconnected elements in this movie... it's like almost none of it is tied together.
34:45 and the most she's ever ACTUALLY SAID at any one time so far is READING A BOOK. So it's not even HER damn thoughts that she's ACTUALLY voicing (on camera).
37:00 so they're being watched... that's pretty baller. Maybe something that is actually interesting will happen.
38:50 whoever it is looks way hotter than Martin Sheen. OMG it's two people. THREE dudes. Wow... and they're all way hotter than Martin Sheen. Damn... he's not gonna kill 'em is he?? That'd be boring. Wow. Aaand yeah. Now it's an actual killing spree.
Hopefully Martin Sheen will continue to be the only one killing... this retarded bitch really needs to have a second chance in life, I mean she's a complete and total idiot but hey, she's young and she has a vagina.
42:00 "Take 'at sumbitch." LMFAO how is this the best part of the movie so far?? *facepalm
This movie is crap... I may have to start watching it doublespeed.
45:00 I agree with him about shooting that fuckin' guy though, LOL. Definitely the best kill yet.
46:40 this room looks like the room in the end of that movie with River Phoenix that was never finished...
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293069
Dark Blood...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slwmDoHSvXc
You wanna talk about hot as fuck, God dang, River Phoenix.
Annnywaaays... back to the boring shit at hand.
48:40 LOL dude this is fucked up, but honestly, I totally want him to kill these two fuckers. LOL this movie just makes you start WANTING them to kill people because it's so damn fucking boring.
50:48 damn yo... this is getting kinda crazy. Apparently it's based on a true story, so that's probably why it's such crap.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badlands_(film)
Watching it on 1.5 speed.
54:15 LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO.
Wow. Just wow. What in the actual absolute total fuck. And I STILL can't say it's interesting. Or entertaining. I still can't say it's good.
58:20 I dunno, this old dude's pretty hot. I'd hop on and take that stick for a spin, even though I can't drive a manual.
I like how they didn't kill the rich dude, I think that's pretty groovy.
1:03:40 Montana, how dismal.
God I'm so bored.
1:09:10 I think she needs a new boyfriend, I'm tired of this dude.
1:10:20 that is some of THE strangest footage I have ever seen in any movie.
I'd really rather be masturbating than watching this right now, but I think my vibrator is still in the car.
1:16:30 LOL he gives her a date and location if she wants a second chance... the only other good part of the movie so far.
1:22:52 hot cop alert.
1:27:30 "Yeah." "We're gonna have to sit down and talk about that sometime." LMFAOOOOOOO.
The last 15 or so min. was definitely the best.
Good sky footage at the end.
You can blame Guest for this review...
http://www.sectual.com/thread-12904-post...l#pid88763
The movie in full is currently on YouTube, but will likely eventually be removed, nevertheless I will be using timestamps and timestamps should remain at least fairly accurate regardless of viewing platform.
Let us begin...
LMFAOOOOOO @ how she's just IMMEDIATELY telling us her fucking traumas RIGHT OFF THE BAT like 10 seconds into the fucking movie. That character development though!!! Let's get this shit outta the way, when's the killin' start?!?!?!?!?!?
(They do kill people right??)
1:40 he's a garbage guy!!! I always wanted to fuck a garbage dude!!! Is that Martin Sheen??
Sissy was 24 in this movie and Sheen was 33.
Martin is the only good Sheen besides Emilio who literally disowned them LMAO.
4:00 Jesus why won't a hotass dude come up to me and say some shit like that??? For fuck's sake. I play with myself in public all the time.
I'm not hella into Martin Sheen in this movie but he's definitely not ugly and if I was her I'd totally let him fuck me super hard.
6:25 LOL at the huge thing that says "BAIT" in conjunction with what they're talking about.
6:45 OMG would you just look at that bitchin' jean jacket.
7:00 that looks like the farm set from the Wizard of Oz.
7:16 check out his bitchin' boots. I like his style.
9:25 I mean honestly this movie is pretty fucking boring so far.
12:20 her narrating is pretty fucking hilarious though.
13:20 LMFAOOO I dig their sex life though!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA OMG this bitch is speaking my mind right now WTF?!?!?!?!?!? I ALWAYS think I'm gonna die before I have sex again. ROFL!!!!!! ALWAYS!!!!!!!
14:40 witchcraft thooouuuuugghhhh!!!!!!!!
15:15 LMFAO SHOT HER DOG?!?!?!?!?!? ROFL!!! Talk about not knowing how the fuck to handle women!!! LMFAOOO!!! Hopefully they kill him first. Her dad's pretty fucking hot though, I gotta admit. Like crazy fucking hot...
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0643105
Warren Oates, he was from my neck of the woods.
19:50 WTF he's just in her house packing her clothes for her? Like without even talking to her? Is that what's going on here? WTF?! OMG... looks like this is gonna get ugly. Too much talking going on. Her dad would have shot him already. Absolutely.
And why is Sissy not saying anything right now?? LMFAO... like she's just not gonna say anything while he's threatening to kill her dad? LMAO!
21:50 LMFAO oh my God... she really is as dumb as she looks. LOL! Oh wow. LOL just wow!!! WOWWW.
Well. Alrighty then.
22:50 what bothers me is that this dude isn't even... psycho, he's just. Meh, like I don't even know what he is. The killin' has begun and it's not even... exciting. It's just... quiet and boring.
24:00 "I found the toaster." I mean fucking REALLY?? REALLY????? What IS this shit???
25:40 I mean I'd like to say that this is some psychological/mindgames kinda shit but, it's really not. Because this chick is straight up dumb and it's not like it's hard to mindfuck dumb people. And it's just like... he seems pretty dumb too. So... it's not really someone smart getting a handle over someone dumb. It's just two lackluster people being boring and lackluster.
I feel like... me and this movie just aren't astrologically compatible.
The thing is like... her monologues are so ridiculous. She never SAYS any of the shit that she's SUPPOSEDLY thinking. So it's not interpreted as though she's this deep ocean with sooo much going on upstairs, and all these poetic thoughts... it's more like there's a huge disconnect between her actual character and this narrator that has basically no fucking relation to her besides her voice.
The synopsis of this movie describes a "killing spree"... one person isn't a "spree". Where's the rest of the fucking killin'???
I'm sorry but so far this movie is taint. 33:20 and it's like... their "love" is so uninspired. It's like it's not even believable. There are so many disconnected elements in this movie... it's like almost none of it is tied together.
34:45 and the most she's ever ACTUALLY SAID at any one time so far is READING A BOOK. So it's not even HER damn thoughts that she's ACTUALLY voicing (on camera).
37:00 so they're being watched... that's pretty baller. Maybe something that is actually interesting will happen.
38:50 whoever it is looks way hotter than Martin Sheen. OMG it's two people. THREE dudes. Wow... and they're all way hotter than Martin Sheen. Damn... he's not gonna kill 'em is he?? That'd be boring. Wow. Aaand yeah. Now it's an actual killing spree.
Hopefully Martin Sheen will continue to be the only one killing... this retarded bitch really needs to have a second chance in life, I mean she's a complete and total idiot but hey, she's young and she has a vagina.
42:00 "Take 'at sumbitch." LMFAO how is this the best part of the movie so far?? *facepalm
This movie is crap... I may have to start watching it doublespeed.
45:00 I agree with him about shooting that fuckin' guy though, LOL. Definitely the best kill yet.
46:40 this room looks like the room in the end of that movie with River Phoenix that was never finished...
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293069
Dark Blood...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slwmDoHSvXc
You wanna talk about hot as fuck, God dang, River Phoenix.
Annnywaaays... back to the boring shit at hand.
48:40 LOL dude this is fucked up, but honestly, I totally want him to kill these two fuckers. LOL this movie just makes you start WANTING them to kill people because it's so damn fucking boring.
50:48 damn yo... this is getting kinda crazy. Apparently it's based on a true story, so that's probably why it's such crap.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badlands_(film)
Watching it on 1.5 speed.
54:15 LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO.
Wow. Just wow. What in the actual absolute total fuck. And I STILL can't say it's interesting. Or entertaining. I still can't say it's good.
58:20 I dunno, this old dude's pretty hot. I'd hop on and take that stick for a spin, even though I can't drive a manual.
I like how they didn't kill the rich dude, I think that's pretty groovy.
1:03:40 Montana, how dismal.
God I'm so bored.
1:09:10 I think she needs a new boyfriend, I'm tired of this dude.
1:10:20 that is some of THE strangest footage I have ever seen in any movie.
I'd really rather be masturbating than watching this right now, but I think my vibrator is still in the car.
1:16:30 LOL he gives her a date and location if she wants a second chance... the only other good part of the movie so far.
1:22:52 hot cop alert.
1:27:30 "Yeah." "We're gonna have to sit down and talk about that sometime." LMFAOOOOOOO.
The last 15 or so min. was definitely the best.
Good sky footage at the end.
