05-12-2019, 11:21 PM
Tonight I'll be reviewing:
50 Shades Freed (2018)
First off I just wanna say... I watched the second movie and I LITERALLY do not even remember it. I didn't review/commentate on it, but I did watch it. Looking back, I should have just let go of the embarrassment of even watching it and fucking reviewed it, but ah well. What's done is done. Seems like I remember I started to review it but eventually just found myself watching it and not writing anything down. Strange!
Ah God I can't believe I just paid to watch this shit AGAIN.
2:20 agh my God this soundtrack makes me wanna shoot myself in the face.
3:15 "You own this?" WHAT THE FUCKKK. Why is she SURPRISED that he owns a PLANE at this point?!?!?!?!?!? God. Wonders never fucking cease, they truly don't.
4:40 can I be honest, like... none of this shit they're doing even looks like fun. Am I just a douche? Probably.
5:50 this bitch is annoying. And she's gonna piss him off. I seriously don't like her personality.
6:50 the fuck, is that a bomb?? LMFAOOOOO. Come ONNNNNN.
7:40 oh fuck that, fuuuuuck that. Fuck that. I would never fucking get on a jet ski again. Once is fucking enough.
9:00 dude legit these two have the most vanilla sex life ever. He's never even strangled her. NOT. FUCKING. ONCE. It's just handcuffs and other retarded shit like that. I mean it's... just boring. It's sad and boring.
14:30 now is not the time to lay on the pressure about the fucking children mkay. He's being nice about it... just shut the fuck up.
16:10 dude I'd be watching that lady close... she's an ass hair away from poisoning the water cooler.
18:00 this dude is getting cucked HARDDDDDDDDD by this bitch. Totally annoying. She's fucking terrible LMAO. She's treating him like a TOTAL cunt. It's one thing to have an attitude... it's one thing to be sassy. It's another thing to be an outright pure and total cunt.
19:50 now she's trying to force him to let her drive?? Whoa... I low key hate this chick though.
23:00 she laid it on that slutty bitch pretty good though, I'll hand it to the little tart for that.
25:35 "Lose 'em." ROFLMAOOOO FUCKING LOLLLLL. I actually fucking did laugh out loud at this part... I gotta say. LMFAO. That's pretty good. I mean, I hate all the driving and flying scenes, they're so tryhard and lame, but for her to be in this situation is just hilarious. I like how assertive he is the second time he says it, he just totally surrenders to the situation. It's fucking hilarious.
27:17 they'd have mowed down like 20 pedestrians by now COME ONNN.
27:40 this is... embarrassing. I'm serious.
29:00 again this bitch is so obnoxious. They're literally being followed and chased and she's demanding she get to keep her stupid job like everything is okay. This is the part where he should just slam her down (sans sex) and fucking tell her she's gonna do what the fuck he says she's gonna do cuz her "defiant" bullshit ain't fucking cute anymore (it never was) and this is some life or death shit.
29:20 a haircut? My God, what a nagging bitch. Is he gonna set her straight or not?? I guess fucking not. Fuck this.
29:40 that was A LOT of shampoo. Like, A LOT.
31:20 yeah I officially fucking hate this bitch. She's all weirded out by ONE gun?? LMFAOOO. And a revolver no less!!! If I was married to this fucker I'd expect him to have a gun vault that would make Charlton Heston jelly!!!
32:40 I'd be going with him... she's such an idiot.
38:00 thank God security saved the day... that guy totally wasn't hot.
39:30 is it time to punish this bitch or what!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
41:00 MARRIED LIFE THOUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.
41:10 I feel like this Liz chick is involved.
43:00 oh my God what a fucking heinous atrocity to cover this song. I fucking hate these people LMFAAAOOO wow. Wooowwww.
44:50 how dare she use the safe word over such an unbelievably weak and stupid situation.
46:18 God we could only be so lucky.
52:40 LMFAO making fun of the movie is sooo much better than the actual movie. So much better.
53:00 why does this seem so gay even though it's a dude and a chick?
54:50 I'd have gone flaccid.
1:06:50 TBH... he's being unreasonably bitchy about this and it doesn't seem that believable.
1:13:00 wow I'm actually on her side for once.
1:18:40 is she really not gonna tell anybody?? LMFAOMG this bitch is so stupid.
1:19:05 nice boots though.
1:19:30 LMFAO this bitch is so stupid. Wow. This is so dumb.
1:22:20 LOL thank God these banker people called daddy... they know a dumb bitch when they see one.
1:26:00 LOOOOOOLLLLL fuckin' told you. Not that anybody's gotta be a fucking rocket scientist to guess what's gonna happen in this movie or anything but, yeah.
1:28:28 OMG she grew a pair!
1:30:10 his mom is probably the most likable character in these movies.
1:32:50 LMFAOOO that's kind of assuming a lot isn't it!? LMFAOOO!!! "Well. Actually. I was thinking you were gonna be a pretty shitty mom."
50 Shades Freed (2018)
First off I just wanna say... I watched the second movie and I LITERALLY do not even remember it. I didn't review/commentate on it, but I did watch it. Looking back, I should have just let go of the embarrassment of even watching it and fucking reviewed it, but ah well. What's done is done. Seems like I remember I started to review it but eventually just found myself watching it and not writing anything down. Strange!
Ah God I can't believe I just paid to watch this shit AGAIN.
2:20 agh my God this soundtrack makes me wanna shoot myself in the face.
3:15 "You own this?" WHAT THE FUCKKK. Why is she SURPRISED that he owns a PLANE at this point?!?!?!?!?!? God. Wonders never fucking cease, they truly don't.
4:40 can I be honest, like... none of this shit they're doing even looks like fun. Am I just a douche? Probably.
5:50 this bitch is annoying. And she's gonna piss him off. I seriously don't like her personality.
6:50 the fuck, is that a bomb?? LMFAOOOOO. Come ONNNNNN.
7:40 oh fuck that, fuuuuuck that. Fuck that. I would never fucking get on a jet ski again. Once is fucking enough.
9:00 dude legit these two have the most vanilla sex life ever. He's never even strangled her. NOT. FUCKING. ONCE. It's just handcuffs and other retarded shit like that. I mean it's... just boring. It's sad and boring.
14:30 now is not the time to lay on the pressure about the fucking children mkay. He's being nice about it... just shut the fuck up.
16:10 dude I'd be watching that lady close... she's an ass hair away from poisoning the water cooler.
18:00 this dude is getting cucked HARDDDDDDDDD by this bitch. Totally annoying. She's fucking terrible LMAO. She's treating him like a TOTAL cunt. It's one thing to have an attitude... it's one thing to be sassy. It's another thing to be an outright pure and total cunt.
19:50 now she's trying to force him to let her drive?? Whoa... I low key hate this chick though.
23:00 she laid it on that slutty bitch pretty good though, I'll hand it to the little tart for that.
25:35 "Lose 'em." ROFLMAOOOO FUCKING LOLLLLL. I actually fucking did laugh out loud at this part... I gotta say. LMFAO. That's pretty good. I mean, I hate all the driving and flying scenes, they're so tryhard and lame, but for her to be in this situation is just hilarious. I like how assertive he is the second time he says it, he just totally surrenders to the situation. It's fucking hilarious.
27:17 they'd have mowed down like 20 pedestrians by now COME ONNN.
27:40 this is... embarrassing. I'm serious.
29:00 again this bitch is so obnoxious. They're literally being followed and chased and she's demanding she get to keep her stupid job like everything is okay. This is the part where he should just slam her down (sans sex) and fucking tell her she's gonna do what the fuck he says she's gonna do cuz her "defiant" bullshit ain't fucking cute anymore (it never was) and this is some life or death shit.
29:20 a haircut? My God, what a nagging bitch. Is he gonna set her straight or not?? I guess fucking not. Fuck this.
29:40 that was A LOT of shampoo. Like, A LOT.
31:20 yeah I officially fucking hate this bitch. She's all weirded out by ONE gun?? LMFAOOO. And a revolver no less!!! If I was married to this fucker I'd expect him to have a gun vault that would make Charlton Heston jelly!!!
32:40 I'd be going with him... she's such an idiot.
38:00 thank God security saved the day... that guy totally wasn't hot.
39:30 is it time to punish this bitch or what!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
41:00 MARRIED LIFE THOUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.
41:10 I feel like this Liz chick is involved.
43:00 oh my God what a fucking heinous atrocity to cover this song. I fucking hate these people LMFAAAOOO wow. Wooowwww.
44:50 how dare she use the safe word over such an unbelievably weak and stupid situation.
46:18 God we could only be so lucky.
52:40 LMFAO making fun of the movie is sooo much better than the actual movie. So much better.
53:00 why does this seem so gay even though it's a dude and a chick?
54:50 I'd have gone flaccid.
1:06:50 TBH... he's being unreasonably bitchy about this and it doesn't seem that believable.
1:13:00 wow I'm actually on her side for once.
1:18:40 is she really not gonna tell anybody?? LMFAOMG this bitch is so stupid.
1:19:05 nice boots though.
1:19:30 LMFAO this bitch is so stupid. Wow. This is so dumb.
1:22:20 LOL thank God these banker people called daddy... they know a dumb bitch when they see one.
1:26:00 LOOOOOOLLLLL fuckin' told you. Not that anybody's gotta be a fucking rocket scientist to guess what's gonna happen in this movie or anything but, yeah.
1:28:28 OMG she grew a pair!
1:30:10 his mom is probably the most likable character in these movies.
1:32:50 LMFAOOO that's kind of assuming a lot isn't it!? LMFAOOO!!! "Well. Actually. I was thinking you were gonna be a pretty shitty mom."
