08-03-2019, 07:17 PM
I roll in to Gasquet,Ca. Ive made it. I stomp the Utah soil out of my boots and walk into the Patrick Creek Lodge, a quaint 100 year old lodge that probably hasnt changed much since my mom pushed me out into this ball of ridiculousness. I pushed straight through Nevada. I order one of the local lagers. I make my way to the patio, spread out my redwoods map...where do i even begin? A couple snaps of cannabis inspires me. Im just going to "go". First, i need to set up camp. I slam my beer and keep pushing. Campsite ahead...hell yeah. I pull in, campsite full. Hmm, ok. Second try. Same. 3rd,4th,5th....CAMPSITE FULL. The downside of spontaneity. It is prime trail season. I need to regroup and figure out what im going to do. I know, that lodge was a great place to get my bearings. This time i roll in, sit down, and order a Jim Beam,neat. " we dont carry that". Ok dammit, this is starting to piss me off. So i get my random whiskey, same lager, and go back to the map. A heavy set gentleman comes out and sits next to me.
"Whats your name,son?". We shake hands, his hands feel like they have been chisled out of a piece of redwood. Clearly a good ol boy, probably busted his ass his whole life and is now claiming his piece of mind in one of the most beautiful places i have been. "Where you from"...Dallas. oh lovely Dallas. The mistress that always calls me back into her grips. He is blown away i set out with no plan. No road dog. No direction, time line. Nothing. Just NOT Dallas was the intent. We spark up a tasty home grown joint, he has been in these parts growing for 40 years. A woman comes out to check on us. Many moons ago,thousands of LSD hits ago you was definitely gorgeous. "Get my new friend another round" he is a river guide, he has been chasing steel head and samon from alaska to Socal. I ask him, what should i do? He responds, exactly what you are doing now.
God damn hippies always talk in code,but i knew what he meant. He points to my map,Boy Scout Tree Trail. Go at 5.am. trust me. Finally, i have a "plan". I go to the bathroom, return, he is gone. There is a small leather pouch in ky seat. I open it up, he has left me 3 prestine mushrooms, probably a Cambodian or Thai spore judging by color and golden flakes. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. This just got a bit interesting. I go in and speak with Leo, the bartender. Of course an old school grower, not in charge of the lodge. We chat, i tell him i will be cowboy camping. Everything is full. He tosses me a key and tells me, go take a look at room 1. Its one of my favorites. It is AMAZING. I come back and he says, its yours, half off. Wow. Relief washes over me. I drop all my gear, closely inspected my gift my new friend left. This shit is REALLY coming together. It hits me. Tonight is the night.
So i arrange a drop of from a really cool guy i met from Santa Barbara. At midnight,its time. I eat 2 of the 3 at the lodge and we set off into the night. Its a quick trip to the trailhead. I eat the 3rd. It is pitch black, only illuminated by the milky way. My eyes adjusted, and the waves start to roll in. Holy shit these kicked in fast i tell myself. I am stricken with a bit of fear. What the fuck happens if a ranger rolls up on me? I decide on the "dumbass tourist" defense. I dont know where i am. The waves went from a ripple, to crashing waves. My palms sweat with the nervousness of what i have done. How am i getting back? Why am i DOING THIS? the waves have now hit tsunami levels of panic. This was a bad idea. I find a downed tree and sit on it. The ferns are now growing then shrinking, the blades spinning around in circles. I banana slug is on the trail...""WHAT IN THE FUCKKKKK is THIS??" I curiously inspect him like a child, amazed. Bewildered.
At that moment i realized i am not a person in the woods, but have become part of the pulse of it. I walk to a tree and touch it. It was a chilly night, but i am now sweating profusely. I lose my jacket. Much better. I take my boots off and dig my toes into the dirt. MUCH BETTER. My fear has now subsided. I feel a welcoming breeze wrap around me like the embrace of a lover. Safe. Loved. Understood. I start to laugh, this is unreal. The trees are breathing. I put my ear to the ground, it has a pulse. It may just be my pulse. Maybe now they are intertwined. My head is spinning, explosions of artillery shells ignites my vision. I check my map...useless scribble. I lay back, and look into the canopy. It swirls and dances. I cannot contain my laughter now, i now have submitted to mother redwood. I think about her wisdom. Her experience. I feel protected, no longer an intruder. I have sadness wash over me. I know in my heart i respect nature, but do not do enough for her honestly. I ask her for forgiveness. Im just a stupid dipshit human. Ease washes over me. It will be okay she tells me. Do more for yourself i hear her say.
3 days prior i was looking up at the dallas sky, in a city of millions. And more lonely there, than here with the banana slugs. More lost in my home town than i am in a national park with no map. So i lay back and just focus on breathing. I have a grin burned onto my face, my cheeks hurt. Tears roll down, not of sadness but of relief. Layers of stress,angst, anger, indulgence washes away. I hear the smith river trickling, i decide to move. I splash the cold water on my face. Refreshing. Invigorating. The sun starts to break the clouds....i sit there to collect myself, my human info starts to come back. Name. Address. Where i am. Rental car. All of the nonsense i came with. I turn around and said my goodbyes to mother redwood. I lace up my boots, and make it back to the 199. Eventually, back to the lodge. I have no desire to eat, but coffee....hell fuck yes. The lovely woman who came out earlier comes out with a steaming mug. She reaches out her arm, i instantly give her the biggest embracing hug i can give. She pats my back," oh honey, you had a twig in your hair i was gonna get for you, but its great to see you,too!"
"Whats your name,son?". We shake hands, his hands feel like they have been chisled out of a piece of redwood. Clearly a good ol boy, probably busted his ass his whole life and is now claiming his piece of mind in one of the most beautiful places i have been. "Where you from"...Dallas. oh lovely Dallas. The mistress that always calls me back into her grips. He is blown away i set out with no plan. No road dog. No direction, time line. Nothing. Just NOT Dallas was the intent. We spark up a tasty home grown joint, he has been in these parts growing for 40 years. A woman comes out to check on us. Many moons ago,thousands of LSD hits ago you was definitely gorgeous. "Get my new friend another round" he is a river guide, he has been chasing steel head and samon from alaska to Socal. I ask him, what should i do? He responds, exactly what you are doing now.
God damn hippies always talk in code,but i knew what he meant. He points to my map,Boy Scout Tree Trail. Go at 5.am. trust me. Finally, i have a "plan". I go to the bathroom, return, he is gone. There is a small leather pouch in ky seat. I open it up, he has left me 3 prestine mushrooms, probably a Cambodian or Thai spore judging by color and golden flakes. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. This just got a bit interesting. I go in and speak with Leo, the bartender. Of course an old school grower, not in charge of the lodge. We chat, i tell him i will be cowboy camping. Everything is full. He tosses me a key and tells me, go take a look at room 1. Its one of my favorites. It is AMAZING. I come back and he says, its yours, half off. Wow. Relief washes over me. I drop all my gear, closely inspected my gift my new friend left. This shit is REALLY coming together. It hits me. Tonight is the night.
So i arrange a drop of from a really cool guy i met from Santa Barbara. At midnight,its time. I eat 2 of the 3 at the lodge and we set off into the night. Its a quick trip to the trailhead. I eat the 3rd. It is pitch black, only illuminated by the milky way. My eyes adjusted, and the waves start to roll in. Holy shit these kicked in fast i tell myself. I am stricken with a bit of fear. What the fuck happens if a ranger rolls up on me? I decide on the "dumbass tourist" defense. I dont know where i am. The waves went from a ripple, to crashing waves. My palms sweat with the nervousness of what i have done. How am i getting back? Why am i DOING THIS? the waves have now hit tsunami levels of panic. This was a bad idea. I find a downed tree and sit on it. The ferns are now growing then shrinking, the blades spinning around in circles. I banana slug is on the trail...""WHAT IN THE FUCKKKKK is THIS??" I curiously inspect him like a child, amazed. Bewildered.
At that moment i realized i am not a person in the woods, but have become part of the pulse of it. I walk to a tree and touch it. It was a chilly night, but i am now sweating profusely. I lose my jacket. Much better. I take my boots off and dig my toes into the dirt. MUCH BETTER. My fear has now subsided. I feel a welcoming breeze wrap around me like the embrace of a lover. Safe. Loved. Understood. I start to laugh, this is unreal. The trees are breathing. I put my ear to the ground, it has a pulse. It may just be my pulse. Maybe now they are intertwined. My head is spinning, explosions of artillery shells ignites my vision. I check my map...useless scribble. I lay back, and look into the canopy. It swirls and dances. I cannot contain my laughter now, i now have submitted to mother redwood. I think about her wisdom. Her experience. I feel protected, no longer an intruder. I have sadness wash over me. I know in my heart i respect nature, but do not do enough for her honestly. I ask her for forgiveness. Im just a stupid dipshit human. Ease washes over me. It will be okay she tells me. Do more for yourself i hear her say.
3 days prior i was looking up at the dallas sky, in a city of millions. And more lonely there, than here with the banana slugs. More lost in my home town than i am in a national park with no map. So i lay back and just focus on breathing. I have a grin burned onto my face, my cheeks hurt. Tears roll down, not of sadness but of relief. Layers of stress,angst, anger, indulgence washes away. I hear the smith river trickling, i decide to move. I splash the cold water on my face. Refreshing. Invigorating. The sun starts to break the clouds....i sit there to collect myself, my human info starts to come back. Name. Address. Where i am. Rental car. All of the nonsense i came with. I turn around and said my goodbyes to mother redwood. I lace up my boots, and make it back to the 199. Eventually, back to the lodge. I have no desire to eat, but coffee....hell fuck yes. The lovely woman who came out earlier comes out with a steaming mug. She reaches out her arm, i instantly give her the biggest embracing hug i can give. She pats my back," oh honey, you had a twig in your hair i was gonna get for you, but its great to see you,too!"
