CSI: Miami (2002) - Review & Commentary
Season 3 - Episode 5 - "Legal"

0:17 look at those hotass dudes in the black t-shirts. Tight black t-shirts are the hottest thing on Italian dudes.

4:20 she's MICROCHIPPED!?

5:40 are they saying the dude jerked off all over her dead body??

9:10 "That's hot" roflmfao.

15:51 "My parents are leaving me their lawnmower" ROFLMFAO this new guy Wolfe is so likable.

31:38 aaaaahhhhhh those waaaarrrmmmm tonesssss thoooouuuugggghhhh.

37:45 awww, that's such a sad story yo!

42:10 LOL, oh. My. God. Now THAT'S some messed up shit.

What a story!
LOL... I was watching "Dogs Of War" and noticed Christopher Walken looks like David Caruso.


Hands Up!  Panties Down!
He looks like somebody else too...



I ain't hatin', I'm just sayin'.
He's one of those dudes who looks better older.



Why the fuck was I born in the wrong decade???

Wonder what's in this bag he carries?



Apparently he's an artist or something, those artist types!

They're always either nice/normal, or totally rude douchebag morons who are a lot less talented than they think they are. I only associate with humble artists.

Anyways, I dunno what David's deal is, but he's always been a real cutie. He's got a great voice and a nice smile.
Season 3 - Episode 6 - "Hell Night"

2:10 what the hell is this episode about?

So this is a jury going to see the scene of the crime? At night?? That's ridiculous.

3:40 the guy is innocent.

4:30 oh come on, this is stupid.

6:15 "I have a keen grasp of the obvious" OMG ME TOO THOUGH?!!?!!?!

8:50 I think Horatio should have laid the pipe on Calleigh.

17:14 so Horatio suspects that Ray Jr.'s bad friends paintball gunned that old dude to death.

21:10 oh shit man. Oh shit.

29:17 YOU TELL'EM HORATIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL THAT PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

35:03 see that's what I said too!!!

38:25 gross!

40:50 she straight up murdered that chick, OMG!

41:14 she must be crazy!
Season 3 - Episode 7 - "Crime Wave"

1:10 chaos though. It always breaks out amidst disaster! So little holding people together.

2:28 aw man, she was pretty hot too!

10:48 "I'm gonna get you" Oh Horatio! Talk dirty to me baby!

11:05 uh oh, somebody been beating up on Horatio's brother's woman!?! Are we finally gonna see Horatio lose his shit with somebody?!

18:40 LOL what the fuck is with this episode?? It's like a doomsday movie meets CSI?? LMAO this is so bizarre.

18:45 those are some seriously horrible graphics. LMAO. How great would it be to get carried off amidst a disaster by Horatio though? Yowza baby hell yeah. I'd prefer a fire tsunami. But other than that, mkay.

21:14 that near slip was super realistic. So well played!

22:22 there's no water in her apartment, it's all back where it's supposed to be, she'll be fine.

24:50 "If you ever touch her again, I'm gonna kill you" Oh Horatio, more!

37:55 LOL what the hell is with this episode? It's like "2012" (2009) or something. This episode was filmed in 2004 though lol.

42:26 this lady is such a bitch... I would totally not love her anymore if I was Horatio.

43:00 whoa, what the fuck is with Horatio and this chick?? Do they have a THING?!?!
Kiiiiiiinda getting burnt out on this show, not gonna lie.

It's great. I think it's great. It's not cuz it's not great.
Season 3 - Episode 8 - "Speed Kills"

0:30 "No one loves a shallow, sexual relationship more than me" ROFLMAO damn, she's a real winner!

1:40 this episode is a bit weird so far.

5:10 fricken everyone "has access to acetone", you can buy it anywhere, it removes polish faster than anything.

6:50 she threw acetone on his car OMG!!! What kinda psycho douche does something like that!?

8:00 sometimes there are a few misses, but for the most part this show has some great music.

10:00 lol Alexx is gonna love breakin' this guy in!!!

12:55 "I don't like him" ROFLMAO was she talking about Horatio?!?!?!

19:40 "Chad" lmfaolololll.

22:08 whoever the Jack guy is this lady was in on it.

26:25 EVERY. SINGLE. SCENE. With Horatio makes me wanna bang so hard.

30:42 isn't that the singer guy from Maroon 5?

36:30 awe. Poor guy.

Good story though!
Season 3 - Episode 9 - "Pirated"

1:10 omfg groossssss.

5:50 humans swimming along the bottom of the ocean. Talk about being somewhere you're not supposed to!!!

12:40 CANNIBALISM!!!!!!????????

19:30 as if the pirates wouldn't be keeping a lookout at all times.

25:00 this guy's dad is pretty hot.

Not a great episode, too much racist propaganda.
Season 3 - Episode 10 - "After The Fall"

0:12 why did the thought of a dude hanging from the ledge of a building whilst receiving head just enter my mind?

1:46 I may get burnt out on this show, but my hunger for Horatio never lessens.

5:42 mmmmm God I love seeing Horatio get rough with people!

9:08 "excessive use of force"... *nanarub*

9:26 Horatio is so pretty.

9:51 "Eric has a real job" ooooOooooOooo burrrrrnnnnn!!!

13:54 "Was it worth it?" I like this new guy, Wolfe. He's good.

21:00 that seems like fun!

24:55 wow, they've totally cracked this case... shocking!

25:35 just knowing these two have been banging turns me on.

27:46 whoa, for CENTURIES???!!!

35:00 in this episode they've been talking a lot about how peat moss (Everglades) and the tannins therein kill bacteria and are naturally preserving. About tannins: https://tea101.teabox.com/tannins-in-tea/ http://www.immunehealthscience.com/tannins.html

LOL the ending of this episode was cute.
Does anyone know if there's an episode where Horatio gets legitimately violent with somebody for more than like 20 seconds? I'm horny.
You should try watching "Hawaii Five-O" instead.

Hands Up!  Panties Down!

I see where you're coming from but there's nobody super hot on there like Horatio.

Well I mean, actually...

James MacArthur is pretty damn fucking hot.

Can you believe the 2010 Hawaii 5-O remake has lasted for 9 seasons?? Wuuut.

The original was 12 seasons.
MacArthur was a total hunk...


Curly hair too, that's all I really want out of a man.

6:02 I almost fucking choked.
IS Horatio the coolest and sexiest character ever?


I mean that red hair...

Fills me with desire.

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