No one ever talks about the extreme anger resulting from the death of loved ones...
#1
Scholar 
At least it's not something I've heard much about...

Came across this article randomly:

https://people.com/sports/vanessa-bryant...-over/amp/

And I was like duuude...

I feel that!

nod

That sheer pure and total EXTREME anger...

It's bad, much worse than grief or mourning (although of course it's PART of the process, but)...

It will fuck you up.

It needs an outlet...

Otherwise it will cause damage.
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#2
What is a good outlet?

Depends on what you have at your disposal.

What you never want to do is injure yourself and make it all that much worse.

I find that beating things with an aluminum baseball bat helps...

shrug

Just nothing that causes too much reverberation i.e. is too hard.
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#3
Punching bags might be good, but I'm a girl and I'm not gonna hit things with my hands.
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#4
I took a baseball bat to a matress and it was surprisingly satisfying, and silent as well.
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#5
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#6
At a certain point you become extremely hardened to death.

Numb and completely incapable of being any sadder...

It simply turns into other emotions at that point.

Typical of trauma of course, but I find that trauma by death is a certain kind of special.

It changes you in ways that are permanent, and arguably rather dark.
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#7
Observing life after most of the people you ever (legitimately) loved are dead is a very different experience from its former state.

You either become someone who fears death more than ever, or you become someone who so radically accepts it that it becomes one of your closest allies.
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#8
I see no benefit in fear, and therefore I became one of those who chose to revere death.
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