All Time Favorite Figure Skaters

[Mister Obvious]

So gorgeous.

[Mister Obvious]

I watched it muted though, I don't listen to the audio on figure skating Shorts, it's always trash.

[Mister Obvious]

[Mister Obvious]

Nice crunchy ice skate ASMR in this one. Her outfit is pretty bitchin' too.

3:01 oh shit.



Apparently Zhang Dan and Zhang Hao had their fair share of fuckups and even some light scandal...

The Zhangs' ages became the subject of controversy. Although her International Skating Union bio lists Zhang Dan as born on October 4, 1985, a Chinese skating association website suggested she was born on that day in 1987. This would mean that during the 2001-02 season she was 14 and too young to compete in senior events such as the Four Continents where they won bronze, as well as the Olympics and World Championships.

Her partner's age also came under scrutiny. His ISU bio states that he was born on July 6, 1984, but the Chinese website suggested he was born on February 6, 1982, making him too old to compete in junior events during the 2002-03 season, such as the 2003 World Junior Championships where they won gold.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhang_Dan

I wonder if there's a figure skating mafia forcing the Russians and the Chinese to do this shit. Maybe even the Japanese too. Clearly not the Americans though, since they never win.

[Mister Obvious]

4:12 Oksana Baiul forever.

[Mister Obvious]

Here's what supreme GOAT Oksana Baiul has to say about quads...

https://i.imgur.com/kCzNwd3.jpeg

"A barbaric scoring system used by a union that does not pay these children nor cover the cost of their hip replacements and spinal surgeries"

It doesn't matter who she's talking about, and she's referencing bad technique, but let's not kid ourselves...

At the end of the day, this is true for all skaters regardless of how "good" their technique is.

[Mister Obvious]

Wonder when they're gonna start doing gay pairs skating. Right?

Fucking FAST turn around time on THAT manifestation!?

[Mister Obvious]

I'm solely responsible for this being a thing.

You're all very welcome.

[Mister Obvious]

Hell, even I'm impressed.

[Mister Obvious]

I wanna take figure skating lessons just so I can hold hands with a hotass old figure skater dude.

[Mister Obvious]

You know what, I actually like those single spin jumps. They seem preferable if you wanna move faster and do a whole lot of dancing.

It seems like these days all the movement in between jumps is just buildup TO the jump. Doing a basic/jump spin a lot more often throughout seems like a better approach.

I just don't get this fixation with the 4A... it's ridiculous. Yeah it LOOKS really cool, but I think it looks even cooler when they do it OFF the ice. I just think it's some ninja type shit to be able to jump and spin like that.

See, Brian Joubert had the right idea back in the day with his Matrix inspired program. There's gotta be so much cooler stuff you can do on the ice than jumping up and spinning in the air. How about bending backwards or crouching down or SOMETHING, just ANYTHING but all the quad bullshit.

Triple axle should be the limit. Maybe have like one or two per program, and the rest of the time just dance or do some weird shit.

[Mister Obvious]

I just wanna see some weird shit. Bring that Oksana Baiul zest back into figure skating. Ilia is super promising on that front, but he's so obsessed with quads, he is limiting himself. It's ironic because he's doing shit no one has ever done, but instead of being innovative, it feels limiting because imagine ALL THE OTHER THINGS HE COULD DO.

And yeah, I've been talking about ice circus, but I don't like more than two people being on the ice at once.

It's like there's no happy medium here. All the innovative figure skating groups are either doing standard solo or pairs, or they're putting 10 people on the ice at once skating around with buckets and shit...



Gurl, no. It's like the ugly architecture conspiracy. And calling this lame shit "contemporary American"?? Um yeah, that sounds like something people who fucking hate America would call some insidious fugly shit.

I even thought Cirque du Soleil's ice show was underwhelming, and I love Cirque. There were just too many damn people on the ice. It was distracting. There only needs to be like one or two people.

They really gotta figure this shit out.

[Mister Obvious]

Figure skating is expensive and the American government needs to start funding this.

Popularize the shit out of an American skater, Hanyu style...

Use them to fuel a figure skating revolution, then fund the shit out of it so the American youth can do something besides skateboarding or pole dancing.

[Mister Obvious]

The Asians are beating America, both in the mental and physical realm.

You have to fund competitive, cultured, respectful activities and start honing the population toward these activities from a young age or America's gonna fall.

They'll never do this... they want America weak and fat.

[Mister Obvious]

Russia (and probably Japan too) takes care of their best competitive figure skaters for life, after they prove themselves. That's why SO MANY of them are engaged in skating and gymnastics. It's a race to be THE BEST so that they can live a cushy life later.

Only countries who want to dominate the world (and have high quality citizens to fuel this domination) put funding toward these athletic activities...

America, crickets.

[Mister Obvious]

USA is all war shit, dumb sports like football, basketball, baseball... wrestling, boxing, etc. Fucking NASCAR, lmao!!!

This does nothing for the citizenry. It just keeps them placated, if anything.

[Mister Obvious]

Higher IQ population = more refined sports.

[Mister Obvious]

America probably still has some good gymnasts, simply because you don't need an ice rink for the practice.

Put some ice skates on those bitches and open up ice rinks, make the abandoned WalMart in every town an ice skating rink.

Fucking losers.

[Mister Obvious]

And there's a language barrier between America and some of the best athletes in the world...

Hanyu, Yuma, etc. they don't even speak English. I dunno about the Russian skaters, they probably more commonly speak English than the rest.

We're in the dark.

Our team = like 5 people, and EVERYONE ELSE seems to have ENDLESS athletes to represent their country. They fucking CHURN THEM OUT. Systematically.

Russia especially. Japan second.

We are so fucked.

[Mister Obvious]

This would work. It's a start.

They could start shoving this down the populace's throat and see if people pick it up then we can graduate onto the ice again.