Charlie's Angels - Review & Commentary

Ummm, yeah. You know what? That's right. I'm about to watch Charlie's Angels (2000).

First of all, I find it disturbing that this movie is 20 years old. Moving along though. It's just interesting to think about how much the world has changed since then.

While searching for the movie on YouTube, I saw that there's a 2019 version which I completely forgot about! LMAO! Starring Kristen Stewart? What?? It's not that I don't like Kristen, she's fine. It's just the undeniable, insufferable feminism that it must be rife with. Uh, yeah, no, thanks, I'll pass and whatnot.

Why am I watching this movie? I truly have no idea. There are really only three scenes from the movie than I can even remember. Crispin Glover's "Smack My Bitch Up" scene, the scene where Drew ends up naked in front of these teenage boys, and the scene where they're in scuba gear and Drew goes "The Chad was great."

I definitely haven't seen this movie in a VERY long time, and Lucy Liu is pretty hot, so I'm excited. Drew and Cameron are obviously hot too. I was always partial to them back in the day. We'll see how I feel about it now. To be honest though, I'm mostly watching because of Lucy Liu. For some reason I saw her picture the other day and I was like, "Hmmm, Charlie's Angels though."

0:30 WTF, this opening tune sounds like "Too Many Puppies" which came out in 1990... what, did they think people forgot about it by 2000 or something?

0:53 "Look lady, it's not the seats that have gotten smaller, it's your ass that has gotten bigger." ROFLMFAOOO I remember that part, it's one of the best lines in the movie lmfao!!!!!!!!

2:09 you know what, it occurs to me that I have literally never seen Charlie's Angels (1976)... that's pretty cray!!!

2:15 OMG you have GOTTA be kidding me!!! It's LL Cool J!!! It's sooo weird, I was just thinking about him earlier, and like WHY would I EVER think about LL Cool J?! This has gotta be a sign. But what I do remember is that it's Drew Barrymore under there, which I always thought was over the top ridiculous/stupid.

3:15 whoa this is even dumber than I remember... you can't just open the fucking door on a plane like that.

4:33 lmao that is some cheeseball shit. Well played though.

6:26 oh man... this is NOT a great movie. It may be fun though. Pretty sure being fun, and funny in some places is what it's got going for it.

8:45 I always thought this dance was great.

9:25 I'd probably get up and dance like that every morning if I had a job that cool too.

You know what I really like about Charlie's Angels? Lucy Liu.

She's definitely the hottest one in this movie... it's crazy that she's 52 now. That's pretty depressing. She still looks good as fuck though. Here's an article about how she stays looking good: Nice words of wisdom at the end.

13:30 I really think Bill Murray is sexy as fuck. And I'm pretty sure I've talked about that before.

14:40 this Vivian/Kelly Lynch chick is kind of a babe too. If my name was Clyde, I'd ride that slide... *nod*

18:08 God that is HORRIBLE driving. Just straight up detestable and not cute or funny at all.

18:20 ah, back when Beyonce wasn't AS unlikable. I have a thread all about that sheer societal disease... Growing up with music like this, it's a miracle my brain is intact. Dunno how the kids of today are gonna make it!

23:20 God Crispin Glover is just sooo weird. It's absolutely amazing.

25:50 the fighting scenes are surprisingly okay though. Kinda retarded, kinda cool. Which is always an interesting combo.

31:21 Crispin as a race car driver though? Not believable.

According to Trisha Paytas' infamously running mouth... Crispin is obsessed with rosewater, is extremely vegan, and is just as weird in real life (albeit very friendly) as he seems on film. He probably wouldn't have been with her if he wasn't some kinda freaked out bimbo lovin' pervert though. That said, I'd probably kick it with Trisha... I mean, I DO like her. I think she's very funny.

BTW... I have been writing this whilst going off on various other tangents for over 2 hours and I'm only 33 minutes into the movie. I just want you to know that.

35:08 ooo, I like these mouth closeups! *nanarub*

37:34 oh I remember I really liked this scene!!!

37:40 dude look at those baller glasses!!!

43:14 oh this chick is totally suspicious. I love it when they start talking in another language, it's so cute!!!

1:11:35 the late 90s and early 2000s really did have some great clothes though.

1:29:11 I don't think it's fair that she was the only one who got to see Charlie.

Well, it was a fun movie to watch, but as usual for me a 1:30:00 movie turned into a 4 hour situation and I'm kinda glad it's over, LMAO.
Zero replies? Wtf. Must have been the beginning of this place.

The only thing that needs to be said about that is Cameron Diaz (with make-up on)
dancing in underwear with long ass legs and a tight ass. BAM

Thick and sultry Drew Barrymore (so f'ing hot)

The asian chick..meh. seen hotter. not a big fan of her face. 

the body. Of course. 

McFly in this? WTF Creepy ass weirdo rat man that always stays in character in interviews weirdo. 

Bill Murray. Meh. Same of the old shit. 

Kung Fu Titties. That's what this movie boiled down to. 

And dem asses.
(11-14-2020, 12:23 AM)Guest Wrote: Zero replies? Wtf. Must have been the beginning of this place.

WTF are you talking about? I literally just posted this thread.

That's enough internet for one day...


I'm like soooo confused right now because I totally watched the Charlie's Angels (1976) pilot episode after I made this thread...

And I thought I commentated on it, but I guess I didn't?! That suuucks!

It had Tommy Lee Jones' retardedly fine ass in it, I've discussed my feelings on the matter here...

Ummm, fuuuck. But I digress.

It also had David Ogden Stiers in it, who I've always thought was CRAZY hot. He was in M*A*S*H. Apparently he was mega hella gay though, which is so disappointing and always leads me back down this line of thought...

Anyway, I digress again.

The pilot episode was GREAT.

As far as commentating, there is like ONE thing I remember as a central point I would harp on if I had written a commentary on the episode like I should have...

So I'm watching the show on Amazon Prime, but the pilot episode is on YouTube (supposedly for a limited time)...

The ONLY THING that I want to say about this episode?

Fucking 1:01:10...

WHAT THE FUCK is with this bright pink beanie when they're supposed to be HIDING IN THE SWAMP, AT NIGHT, UNDETECTED?!

I get it, they had to set Farrah apart from the other girls, we had to recognize it was her and not them SOMEHOW, but COME ONNNNNN.


So that's all I have to say about the pilot episode, and now I'm gonna move on to reviewing the second episode.

Or I should say... I have every intention of commentating on the second episode, and more episodes as I see fit.

If I don't ACTUALLY get around to it, then that will be evident by the lack of followup. ROFL. But I am seriously intending to do this.
Alright, just so you can understand where I'm at right now and where I'm coming from, just so you can understand my frame of mind here...

I'm eating a bowl of spaghetti, but I used Manwich sauce. Yes. That's right. I sauteed some onion, some frozen peppers, browned some ground beef, mixed in the Manwich... and I am eating it over pasta. Is it good? I dunno. I haven't taken a bite yet. But I'ma let you know.

Season 1 - Episode 2 - "Hellride"

Oh this one sounds good. It's free with ads on the Amazon Prime through IMDB TV. I prettymuch hate their ads. But it's better than paying.

Just so you know...

I haven't even gotten past the first IMDB TV ad yet and I already got sidetracked and paused to go off on a search to see how astrologically compatible I am with Bill Hicks. This is why it takes me HOURRRSSSS to finish commentating on shows and movies.

It's kinda weird how Charlie refers to them as "little girls" who went off to the police academy in the intro. I didn't know Charlie was like a ladies' man... but I noticed in the pilot episode he had tons of fly bitches handing him drinks by the pool and stuff.

So about the Manwich pasta. Listen, it's good. But after giving it some pretty intense thought, the only way I can describe the difference between this and your typical spaghetti sauce is to say that the Manwich is... "blunted." It's blunted. It just seems blunted. And it is NOT for lack of seasoning. I season my food well, I am all about flavor. That's just my preference. But there's something about the Manwich TEXTURE that is... dulled. Am I enjoying it? Absolutely. Would I make pasta using Manwich as sauce again? No. Okay, maybe. I can't say I'll NEVER do it again as long as I live... I probably will if I live long enough. But generally, no.

00:28 so I guess what sorta perplexes me is Charlie's standoffishness toward the Angels. He's like some weird kinda private eye sugar daddy to them or something. Like he takes care of them, but he doesn't wanna meet them or actually get close. Like I said, he's clearly rolling in a lot of other fine pussy. But you'd think he'd want to at least meet them and have a four-some or something.

And I think they're all pretty, but Jaclyn is obviously the hottest.

My favorite tidbit of info about Farrah Fawcett is the "Kentucky Castle" connection... back in the day it was said that Lee Majors wanted to live there, and that they visited the place. Dunno if any of that is true though. Could have just been publicity for the property. It last sold for $8.7 million (2018)... Versailles/Lexington Castle:

There was a time when I really wanted to live there. But I got over it, just like everybody else!

1:53 WUHUHUHUHOOOAAA, look what a cutie this chick is!!!!!!!! OMG who is she!? I've GOT to know!!!

Hmmm, apparently her name is Rosanne Covy and this is basically all she was ever in. She gets killed off in this episode, OMG!!!!!!!!

Why kill off the hot and likable one right away? The Angels aren't even as attractive.

4:58 - 5:20 lmao ummm what the fuck was that? Charlie starts talking "How have y--" and it sounds like he either burps or farts and grunts, then he starts in again, "How have your practice runs been going, Sabrina?" LMFAOOOOO.

5:18 ooo, look at this baller sideboob shot of Jaclyn... I feel like I can see nipple under that shadow.

5:53 BAHAHAHAHAHA oh my gosh... well that explains it.

7:33 gah this Bloody Mary chick is a cunt.

8:15 whoa it's super lame that they'd kill that other chick over a totally ghetto small time racing operation like that.

9:00 WTF, what is their scheme here? I don't get it. This is kinda stupid.

11:20 fucking LOL, what the hell?

13:45 see this is why I wonder why the fuck they go undercover instead of plainly telling people they're investigating. It would be helpful in SOME instances, like this one.

19:15 if this guy doesn't wanna be found out, he's doing a really bad job.

19:30 their cover story isn't believable at all... it's too cheeseball.

20:40 whoa I didn't even recognize that was Don Gordon, the sunglasses in his previous scene totally threw me off. He was pretty hot, but it's hard to tell with this character.

24:45 I don't really approve of them making fun of believin' in the Lord!!!

27:35 lmao I'd totally have to slap her. Jaclyn is leagues and leagues beyond the sexiest.

31:12 roflmfaolol.

35:01 dude's like hella creepy.

44:00 I'm like barely watching at this point.

47:03 great music in this show though, love that 70s sound.

47:13 that's a pretty baller jean jacket.

49:00 AWWWW, I LOVE TROPHIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well it was fun commentating on that episode... I'll probably revisit Charlie's Angels in several weeks or months.
(12-11-2020, 04:13 PM)Mister Obvious Wrote: 8:15 whoa it's super lame that they'd kill that other chick over a totally ghetto small time racing operation like that.

9:00 WTF, what is their scheme here? I don't get it. This is kinda stupid.

BTW, I never figured out what the fuck was going on.

Something about smuggling, but I really wasn't paying attention when the plot sort of came together at the end.

I like Charlie's Angels okay, but I just don't see it being a show I'd watch every episode of in order, like Supernatural for example.

When I review more of Charlie's Angels, it'll probably be ones from this list:

Tanya > Kate.

Cheryl > Farrah.

Although I do think Kate Jackson was very cute... I just prefer Tanya aesthetically and like somebody said in the YT comments, Jaclyn/Cheryl/Tanya were the hottest trio.

Seems like shit got kinda complicated in season 5.
Tanya is definitely hotter than Kate, but she looks weird with the other two girls.

I think it went to shit when Kate left.
I guess sometimes hotter isn't better.

Ah man, don't even get me started on how smokin' hot Kathleen Robertson is...

The tornado move was amazing.
Many videos unavailable did google fuck us again?

This guy isn't even hot...

I dunno, this is just stupid.

The commenters are right, the show totally went to shit after Kate left.

I glanced at the headlines earlier and it said she was dead - nope; fake dead - then whoopsie; she's really gone.

That's what happens when you let fucking Zoomers have real jobs.   No Way

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