Faces in the Crowd (2011) - Review & Commentary
#1
WARNING: SPOILERS. HAPPENING. BELOW. DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faces_in_the_Crowd_(film)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFNDloLCl08

I wonder if there are any hot dudes in this movie.

Milla Jovovich is SUPER fucking sexy, but I'm not really used to seeing her in any roles outside of Resident Evil.

3:15 she's using a SPONGE TIP APPLICATOR?? You gotta be kidding. Is this supposed to mean that she's naive and innocent??

She's gorgeous as fuck though.

3:55 he's decently hot... I guess he'd do in a pinch.

4:25 oh yeah, this lady is definitely naive and oblivious.

4:35 lmfao OMG, she's reading her horoscope... is this movie about me!?

5:10 super creepy foreshadowing thooouuugghhhh. This movie is listed as a horror but... I meeean, I am not seeing anything too horrifying about it, lol. Which is fine, cuz I don't even like horror movies.

6:02 God I can't believe how fucking gorgeous she is. Milla Jovovich is my sexual orientation.

6:54 "Hand him over," umm, dude, if my female friend made some kinda comment like that about my man, I'd be side-eyeing that bitch for the rest of time.

7:50 is the first victim of the psychokiller gonna be one of her annoying girlfriends?? I hope so.

9:40 ew, this guy seems unhinged. That's not hot.

10:16 oh dude, whatever, she'd TOTALLY be dead. No way in hell she'd survive that. At all.

10:40 so yeah, this movie is about prosopagnosia, a condition where you can't recognize faces. Apparently this head injury situation made her unable to recognize faces and now the whole rest of the plot hinges on it.

I totally didn't see the guy's face so I have no idea who we're looking for in this movie. He's a regretful pussy of a killer who looks like the poor man's Hugh Jackman as Wolverine... that's about all I caught.

11:55 I mean, TBH... it's whatever that she doesn't recognize her fiance, but it's DEFINITELY NOT a loss that she doesn't recognize her girlfriends. If you ask me, she needs to dump all three of those fuckers and turn over a new leaf in life.

13:09 oh my God, she can't even recognize HER OWN FACE THOUGH. That is by FUCKING FARRRRR the worst part about this. I'm so for real. Just because she's so ridiculously hot, like you couldn't really find a chick hotter than Milla Jovovich. Everybody else, who cares... but her own damn self?! Unfair.

14:45 well that's nice of you man, do you want a fucking cookie??

15:50 this would actually be kinda handy if your dude wasn't hot.

16:00 seems like they're totally rushing this chick back into 'normal life'.

16:46 if you were a total slut, it'd actually be super awesome. It'd be like you were banging a different dude every day, but it's all the same dude?!

20:00 what if it's the cop?? That would be mega fucking hot, I mean he's not ugly or anything. Shit, he's the hottest dude in the movie yet. Straight up.

21:00 I know this is kind of a bad thing to say but... in real life, I'm pretty sure the cops wouldn't even care enough about the case to have this discussion right now.

21:10 dude, I think it IS the fucking cop. But that's gotta be what they want us to think.

23:30 ooo, this version of him is pretty hot. Wonder if he's gonna start getting sus when she wants to bang, lmao?!

24:22 I swear this cop guy kinda looks like Harvey Korman.

27:27 "What do you want now?" Yeah they're definitely trying to make us think it's the cop guy, which means it's definitely not him. Kind of disappointing.

28:33 oh fuck yeah, I LOVE cinnamon candy!!!!!!!!!!

30:10 so she DOES have a REAL makeup brush!!!!!!!! Symbolically, it could mean that since she's had a rude awakening to the cruelty of the world, she's less naive and innocent.

31:10 TBH, she definitely needs a new job.

33:10 HOT PRIEST ALERT. There are more than a few of those in the world, ya know!!!

34:10 I'm guessing he didn't cry and jerk off over THAT body!!?!!!

35:00 oh so it's definitely not the cop then. That's too bad, for real.

36:30 he's got hardcore dad bod... this isn't striking me as a hot dude at all.

38:03 oh damn, this version of her is super sexy, kinda looks like an alien.

38:27 is she literally just rubbing her face with a dry tissue right now?? This chick's beauty regimen needs to get stepped the fuck up.

45:30 I'd dump that guy so hard.

46:17 what, does he pay the rent or something??

46:30 lmao he's got a different face every time she opens her eyes!!!!!

46:44 BAHAHAHAHA, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID!!!!!!!

49:50 I think this is gonna turn into a love thang between her and this hotass cop guy and I'm 100% here for it because her boyfriend is sooo old news.

50:09 HIS FACE STAYS THE SAAAAAMMMMEEEEE. Oh hell yeah, it's on. It's time to go to Bangtown... one way ticket for two.

50:33 wait... what if the killer IS the cop guy?? It almost seems like it might be.

53:10 this movie is kinda stupid and it's definitely way too long, but it's not the worst I've ever seen.

56:50 dude WHENNNN is she gonna dump this wet blanket she calls a fiance?

59:20 umm, that'll be easy kbye.

1:00:00 if only he was hot, this would be super exciting... but alas, he's all weird and whiny.

1:01:40 ah man, it's too bad he didn't kill the other one instead.

1:02:33 yeah, why didn't he pick you?? That's what everyone else is thinking too?!

You know what, that's something I really appreciate about this movie... they find a way to say what everyone is thinking through this floozy's character.

1:06:00 oh FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

1:11:40 I read a spoiler about this part and I'm kinda pissed off that I know what's gonna happen, lol. It sucks. Usually I can read spoilers or even read the entire plot of a movie beforehand and it doesn't even ruin the experience for me, but for some reason this just bothers me.

1:11:50 it makes no sense why he would even do this.

1:13:07 whoa okay, that's like REALLY rude. I mean yeah, he might be just another face but that guy is really into her and he's super sexy. She's being hella frigid right now.

1:18:48 now they're throwing tarot cards into her horoscope readings, lmao WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!?!?!?!

1:23:42 so wait a minute, technically it WAS the cop dude this whole time?! Lmfaololol!!!!!!!

1:24:18 wait a second, I'm so effing confused, I swear. I dunno if that's him or not.

1:25:40 OMG IT IS him!!!! And now the other guy knows too!!!!!!

1:29:10 I'm officially bored, not gonna lie.

1:33:46 lmao, oh now I remember an EVEN WORSE spoiler that was super vague but now I totally get what it meant. Agh.

1:35:17 lol... this movie's kinda fucked up, dude. It really is. That was fucked up.

Definitely did not expect that ending, I gotta say. That was prettymuch the only thing that saved it. The ending brought it up from 5 stars to a solid 6 out of 10.
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