I hope I don't die in some kinda super embarrassing sexual way...

[Mister Obvious]

That makes headlines because it's so weird and sad and people just end up feeling sorry for me.

Then my identity would be tied to my online ramblings and people would just be like "Yep, saw that one coming."

Teehee!!!

[Mister Obvious]

I used to be afraid that I might have a heart attack whilst masturbating. It's actually pretty common to have an aneurism or a heart attack during masturbation rather than sex because you have to try so much harder.

[Mister Obvious]

I'm definitely am a mental nympho. I think I enjoy the idea of sex more than the actual deed. I'm trying to find a good creative outlet for my sexual energies.

It's not working...

[Mister Obvious]

*wipes layers of projectile vomit off screen*




...Nope. Still horny.