(09-24-2022, 07:43 AM)Guest Wrote: [ -> ]Narcissists don't choose to be Narcissists. It's bad nurture. Maybe you aren't a victim of them; you've been given an opportunity to be free
of them. Hate and Love carry the same intensity of energy; hate is wasted energy and the same amount that goes into love. Seeing the good
in the bad is helpful, like zen type neg to pos viewing. On some bad days I have, which are becoming more and more infrequent; I try to see
if there is hidden education in that 'bad' day to learn and there always is. I feel very 'robbed' if there's nothing to learn from a bad experience.
Like it's part of growth to see something as a stepping stone forward instead of an imaginary hand knocking me back. Staying out of a victim
mentality has been key for me. I've been my own worst enemy for sure; and have always blamed things outside of me for this, that, and the other.
That's lot of painful energy; lots of 'useful' energy you have. Art is great for expressing it, and writing it down. I'm sure making this thread is more
than just communication; it's cathartic hopefully.
When it clicks, it's a loud rush of wind into a self made hardened facility where you've been kept safe from the outside and the dust settles and sunshine
and blue skies with a beautiful green earth await you (when it's time) to take it and own it and see it's safe to come out; not all is a desolate wasteland
of survivors and abusers, our emotions and imagination can paint it so; what it paints it can also repaint.
A beautiful, excellent post... full of truth. Thank you.
I'll throw in a few more details to make it obvious.
"Muh cup of ice."
"You must not be watering the plants correctly because they're withered."
(I drowned the fuck out of the plants everyday, like she told me to.)
"Elvis just wants to be in the house so he can piss and shit all over the place."
"Too much salt" or "not enough salt" or "there's no salt in it."
"Overcooked" or "undercooked."
"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on."
"If you're too sick to do X, Y, and Z, then what use are you to me?"
"I'm ready to get rid of you."
Yuuuup...
That's a narcissist. Rofl.
Agh, my God.
But I mean...
Guest is right, they're formed from nurture...
An epigenetic trigger causes the chain reaction that leads to atrophy in the parts of the brain responsible for empathy etc.
I don't feel bad for them over it simply because they're just so fucking cruel, but I do feel bad for the child they used to be, because that is where it all started.
The daughter-in-law told me their father molested Auntie and some of the other sisters, but not the stepmother.
Now why would he molest all of his other daughters and stop at her?
Molesters/rapists want to destroy all goodness and innocence that exists... maybe he didn't think there was anything to ruin.
I think growing up in a situation like that whether you were directly abused or not is enough to cause problems like narcissism though.
I don't doubt that they're formed by nurture. But even a sociopath can convincingly appear normal for a time.
(09-24-2022, 04:42 PM)user328 Wrote: [ -> ]But even a sociopath can convincingly appear normal for a time.
Dude, lean in...
Even serial killers are generally more likable people than narcissists...
For real.
Most people when interviewed about the serial killer they knew or were close to were SHOCKED that they were capable of such heinous acts.
100%.
(09-24-2022, 04:41 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: [ -> ]Molesters/rapists want to destroy all goodness and innocence that exists... maybe he didn't think there was anything to ruin.
I think growing up in a situation like that whether you were directly abused or not is enough to cause problems like narcissism though.
Could the fact that the stepmother is one of the butt ugliest people who ever lived have something to do with it?
Honestly, no.
Evil recognizes evil, that's just the bottom line.
I also heard that the stepmother had an abortion when she was younger. I assume that's true, given that other things the teller told me ring true. I don't know the reason or circumstances surrounding the abortion.
The stepmother's granddaughter usually comes to visit her for a few weeks every summer. Seeing how they interact is a bizarre sight. The stepmother is a strict disciplinarian with the child, who always looks expressionless and joyless.
The stepmother told me the granddaughter didn't like me because she sensed something "off" about me. She offered this as evidence that I'm somehow a bad person. I assume that was just another narcissistic attempt to sow self doubt in me. Most kids and animals like me.
Projection.
Whatever they say about you is actually the truth about themselves.
(09-24-2022, 05:08 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: [ -> ]Projection.
Whatever they say about you is actually the truth about themselves.
Oooh, the stepmother does a metric shit ton of projecting. You don't have to be a psychologist to see it, it's so obvious.
I tossed that out there once in conversation, not necessarily talking about her in particular, and she froze for a second before she said anything. Either she glimpsed the truth about herself, or I went off script and she had to catch up.
You don't have to criticize a woman in particular though. You can criticize women in general, and the woman you're talking to will take it as a personal attack.
(09-24-2022, 05:23 PM)user328 Wrote: [ -> ]You don't have to criticize a woman in particular though. You can criticize women in general, and the woman you're talking to will take it as a personal attack.
Men who think the toilet seat up/down debate is a worthwhile use of their time have fun with that one.
The litmus test of a narcissist is to speak directly to their demon and tell it to stop feeding on you... for real. You can have all kinds of arguments with them and raise all kinds of different points... but you will never get a more eerie and disturbing reaction than when you bypass them and directly tell the demon that you rebuke them.
I don't say this shit for no reason... I am telling you, it's an evil, demonic attachment.
The areas of the brain that get choked off and atrophy during the narcissist's childhood (it's believed to be in the form of a cyst, the growth of which is caused by an epigenetic trigger like abuse) could literally be seen as an actual attachment.
It's sad as fuck. But only because kids should be protected and these narcissists got 100% failed as children. Every child deserves better.
Men have to lift the toilet seat when they pee, so why should they have to lower it again when they're done? The man is doing all the work while the woman does none.
How do you speak directly to the demon?
(09-24-2022, 05:32 PM)user328 Wrote: [ -> ]How do you speak directly to the demon?
You just talk to it like you're talking to them...
You say something like "I understand that you are the human victim of a demonic attachment caused by your troubled childhood" and then say directly to the demon that you rebuke them (in the name of Jesus if you want) and that they are no longer allowed to feed on your energy.
The first time you address that demon directly, the cat's out of the bag from then on.
I have literally seen it take over after being addressed and control the human vessel to leave the situation so that it can't be rebuked further.
It's the only way to take power away from the demon and the human it's attached to, and they will avoid further rebuking at all costs. It doesn't last very long, they try to go right back in with the same ol' abuse using its human vessel as a proxy, but you NEVER forget that moment when the demon shrinks back and is totally shocked that you had the power to REALIZE they were there and to rebuke them.
You probably won't be in a situation with your narcissistic abuser to experience this... thank God. But if you ever run into another narcissist, seriously... rebuke the fucking demon straight up and it will at least desist for a short period of time.