08-09-2021, 06:13 PM
It's 6pm - you've been in your sleep clothes all day and now you're eating
peanut butter straight out the gotdamn jar...
peanut butter straight out the gotdamn jar...
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Actual Thoughts I've Had, Verbatim...
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08-13-2021, 12:02 AM
I swear to holy fucking God, if I NEVERRR hear the words "Like, Share OR Subscribe"
EVERRR again, it'll be too soon!! Goddamn pimps. 
08-13-2021, 10:08 AM
Before the chili pepper arrived in Thailand in the 1500s, did Thai cooks sit there wishing they had something hot to spice up their food?
08-13-2021, 10:09 AM
08-13-2021, 12:06 PM
Makes you want to pimp slap the bitch who spent good money on that cheap Chinese sign.
08-13-2021, 12:47 PM
I'd consider letting it slide if it were, at the very least, Made in Mexico.
By illegal Chinese laborers, lol... never ends...
08-13-2021, 10:53 PM
"San Francisco has a new vaccine mandate..."
SF has been a leper colony since the 90's. No great loss.
08-16-2021, 10:12 AM
Today feels like a peanut butter & jelly sammich kinda day.
***EDIT*** I forgot to add that I typed that in Mitch Hedberg's voice. Carry on...
08-16-2021, 08:30 PM
Now i know why people keep toothpics cigs and lollipops in their mouth, keeps the overly lusty humans from trying to kiss/germ them
08-16-2021, 08:31 PM
Most of the oral fixation crutches are cuz people wanna say some shit but they hold it in.
08-17-2021, 09:56 PM
"She's like, naked as shit in her profile picture."
08-17-2021, 10:05 PM
08-17-2021, 10:09 PM
REDDIT!!??!!!!?!?!?!?!
Listen, I'ma BRIEFLY throw you a lifeline, but if you fuck this up... No more chances you TRAITOR!!!!!!!!
*accidentally dumps grape juice down front of shirt and pants*
"This is why we wear black."
08-18-2021, 06:00 PM
Lmfao I actually had to dilute the spill down with some water cuz you could actually kinda see it after it dried but...
It looks perfect now.
08-19-2021, 12:57 PM
Street sign: "DEAF CHILDREN PLAYING"
Me: "It's been 40 years. You'd think those deaf kids would've grown up and moved on by now."
08-19-2021, 01:17 PM
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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