Full Version: Actual Thoughts I've Had, Verbatim...
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"I may have a cookie, I may not have a cookie. It really just all depends."

"It's great, except for it's covered in sugar and it ain't got no water in it."

"Was that my vagina or was that a cricket?"

"Why does everything look like a turtle to me?"

"Shit on a stick, they've got Pantene!"

"Why is she in a shopping cart?"

You are so cute!
LMFAO, thanks. I think you're cute too ;)
"I'm not giving you my cinnamon candy bitch. I like you, but I don't like you that much."
"I like that chick cuz she gives me sporks."
"Yes. I still have the Snowballs in my possession."
"Oh shit." - Upon seeing that there's only one piece of cinnamon candy left.
"Nice fuckin' umbrella, bitch."
"Man that was an awesome leaf."
"Are you seriously doubting the power of essential oils right now??"

" I can only last as long as this candle burns.

Unfortunately my wick is running out. "

That's some deep shit, Number!!!

" If you don't understand it...
    get the hell out of it REAL QUICK!"

Someone once turned and looked at me and said "what the hell you looking at?"

I turned and looked at him and said " what the hell you looking at me for? I don't know what the hell I'm looking at either. "

"Is that a DeLorean?"
*stares out the window, stands on tiptoes, looks up and down... perplexed expression, turns around*

"That's... not my car."

I've had this happen to me a thousand times ( after coming out of the casino )

I have to hit my car alarm to find it in the parking garage......HONK HONK HONK....

Shit I't on the lower level...this is the wrong floor!!!!! F*ck!

LOL !!!!!
"WOO!!! There's a train comin'!!!"
"I would NEVER have sex with him."


" I can't have sex with an animal , I will never cross that line and it might bite me "