If you asked me what I care about in life, the answer would be two things...

[Mister Obvious]

VACUUM

CLEANER

[Mister Obvious]

Read all about my one true love here...

https://www.sectual.com/thread-18191.html

[Mister Obvious]

Well I guess maybe like...

My two true loves.

Because that one vacuum cleaner I had as a kid will always hold a special place in my heart...

But in recent years, it's been all about the Shark Pet Plus cordless stick vacuum...

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Shark-Pet-Plu.../936481722

I'm just saying.

Like.

Love is real.

[Mister Obvious]

I love my vacuum cleaner.

I sleep with it at arm's distance.

I stroke its cool, aluminum-like center segment.

I take care and pride in emptying its hairy, dusty, dirty, disgusting contents when it gets full.

I dutifully cut the hair out of the spindle on the bottom of the wide/floor vac attachment.

I am IN LOVE.

And this love will never die.

It may change forms.

It may be replaced and upgraded and it may go through highs, and lows.

But IT WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY LIFE AND WILL NEVER FORSTAKE ME.

[Mister Obvious]

I'ma keep it a hunnit with you right now...

https://www.sharkclean.com/exclusive-off...plete-seal

It's expensive. But it's WORTH IT.

[Mister Obvious]

Look, a vacuum cleaner is one of the most important things you're ever gonna have in your life.

It's one of the most FOUNDATIONAL THINGS that makes life either, BETTER... or NOT.

You get a shitty vacuum cleaner that doesn't work that well or it's just not that great... YOUR LIFE WON'T BE AS GOOD.

But if you have a GOOD vacuum cleaner, one that's PERFECT FOR YOU... your life will be better.

Don't delay. If you don't have a good vacuum cleaner in your life, fix that problem TODAY.

[Mister Obvious]

I will say this...

Battery life is EVERYTHING.

There are a few VERY expensive brands that make cordless stick vacs and the battery life on them is a fucking JOOOOOHOHOHOHOOOOOOKE.

Don't waste a bunch of money just to find that out the expensive way...

Do your research on which cordless vacs (that can typically be purchased at WalMart) have the BEST BATTERY LIFE.

Why am I not mentioning corded vacuum cleaners?

Because come the fuck on, it's 2022, please.

[Mister Obvious]

I mean I'd TAKE a corded vac if there was nothing else, and it functioned decently. But as a mainstay? As my main suck? Man fuck no.

[Mister Obvious]

When I vacuum, I vacuum like a fucking PSYCHO.

I found out that I can even vacuum THE CEILING. And the WALLS.

I didn't know this before. I thought it was only for the floor. NO. It's NOT only for the FLOOR.

So when I figured this out, yeah, my psycho vacuuming (which was already one of the main and first things people even notice about me) WENT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

I just wanna say, the battery life on Shark devices is SECOND TO NONE.

I can vacuum the floor, the walls, the ceiling, ALL to my heart's content, and the battery never runs out while I'm using it.

I've had the battery go dead ONCE. And it was because I slacked and didn't put it on the charge once when I was done with a pretty intense vac sesh.

IT'S THE GREATEST FUCKING VACUUM CLEANER EVER AND YOU NEED ONE. YOU NEED ONE RIGHT NOW AND YOU NEED TO POST HERE AND TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. LET'S ALL GET A SHARK CORDLESS STICK VAC AND TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH WE LOVE IT TOGETHER.

LET'S SHARE PHOTOS OF OUR VACUUM CLEANERS AND DETAIL OUR FAVORITE VACUUM CLEANING MEMORIES AND EXPERIENCES TOGETHER.

[Mister Obvious]

And listen, if your favorite vac or that special vac in your life ISN'T a Shark, that's okay too.

I'm not gonna be a brand snob, I know different things work for different people.

You might need to do a little convincing and explaining before I'll accept your assertion that YOUR vac of non-Shark brand is so great...

But I will accept your vac and you CAN talk about it here, your non-Shark vac IS welcome.

[Guest]

Carpet sucks. Rip it out.

[Mister Obvious]

WTF do you use on a bare floor??

A broom?!

It's not 1856 bro?!

Lmao!

[Mister Obvious]

It's one of the most important tools you could possibly have in your life but it's totally crucial that it has that narrow sucky attachment because it's way more necessary than even the standard wide floor brush attachment... you gotta be able to get into corners, you gotta have CONCENTRATED SUCKING POWER.

[ThE fEcKin EeJiT]

Have you ever fixed one? Blown it out with an air compressor? Wearing one of those useless masks?
Well I did and got a snoz full of dust which dust particles are about 10 billion times the size of virus particles.
Where is Fauci? Fuck him up I will before my time is done.

[Mister Obvious]

NO BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE GREAT FUN.

[ThE fEcKin EeJiT]

NO BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE GREAT FUN.

LETS DO ITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[Dark Dick]

VACUUM

CLEANER

"Beaucoup Vee Cee."