Actual Thoughts I've Had, Verbatim...

[Mister Obvious]

"MMMMMMMM, THIS GRANDPA SOAP CO. PINE TAR SOAP MAKES ME WANNA LOSE MY VIRGINITY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[somethingelseishere]

"It is never not a good time for fried chicken!"

[Mister Obvious]

"It sounds like a bitter Hall & Oates song, you know what I mean? Which is something that should never happen."

(In reference to "Cold As Ice" by Foreigner)

[Mister Obvious]

"Ew. Did you just fart? Cuz I KNOW I farted, but that ain't me."

[Guest]

my cat sure loves cardboard boxes , maybe in her past lives she was a bum living on the street

[Mister Obvious]

"Look at them FAT fuckin' beef sticks!"

[Guest]

I accidentally walked into the women's bathroom and used the facilities but  it was NOTHING like the enrique escape public bathroom sex video scene, just rotund ladies and a couple junkies . As a disembarked the whole restaurant stared me down but i am the one who was traumatized .

With so many ham planets afoot these days, it pays to read the sign on the door before you enter.

[Mister Obvious]

"I smell barbeque and somebody better tell me where the fuck it is."

[Guest]

Peepin is way funner than watchin TV
Yeehaw! Country gurl i like your jammies

[Guest]

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a clusterfuck in the parking lot."

[Mister Obvious]

Always keep a full tank of gas so you can outrun people!!!

[Guest]

Bottom line , its always the sneaky jews

[Mister Obvious]

"George Michael lookin' motherfucker!"

[Guest]

great, I am totally out of pharmaceuticals ...all I got now is bourbon and marijuana

as my mood spirals downward

[Mister Obvious]

"I don't get it, but it seems pretty cool!"

[Mister Obvious]

"I'm in love with whoever the fuck wrote this!"

[Mister Obvious]

"That sounds so depressing... except for the fact that she's naked."

[Guest]

I totally get why some lonely goat farmers have romantic encounters with some of their females , plus human women are really hard to approach these days

[Mister Obvious]

"Well THAT adds a whole new layer?!"

[Guest]

“Earth is a Daemon.”