Longest it's ever taken you to pinch a turd off?

[Master Oblivious]

I can't remember if I dreamed this after reading your hideous post or before it    or during it  butt anyway :

I was standing in a public  area      maybe a lobby of  a    building or theatre  and  decided it was time to  break out the preparation h  ,  I  undid  my pants  and squeezed out a    bit  of      prep h on my finger and  started applying it  then I looked up and some other dud perhaps fungus idk was doing the exact same thing and we made serious eye contact but were in NO WAY embarrassed  just two  dogs eyeing each other up at the dog park

Dude not to interrupt but don't you LOVE the feeling of the applicator? You literally don't even have to touch the fudge portal anymore for instant relief. 

Might as well just call it "H" because there's almost no preparation. 

Anyway, really kinda interested about this scenario about you and old dude. Sounds like a good story.