I've noticed that people get mad/weirded out/triggered by the way people eat pizza

[somethingelseishere]

Metrosexual hipster millennial snobs are THE worst of the sushi is cool club. 

They do it wearing fedoras.

There should be a Universal Rule:

You can either be a hipster OR you can wear fedoras. But you CAN'T do both!!
Which is weird because only annoying fucking hipsters actually want to wear them.

OK, new rule! The ONLY person that can wear fedoras is Tom Landry! 
Aaaand he's fucking dead, so NOBODY can wear them anymore!!