I'd like for a legit elderly person to join us here at Interstellar...

[Cream of Caulk]

Conversations with my grandsugardaddy have always been my favorite.

Once we were eating out and he asked me, "why don't you marry me?" I said "because your wife will take all your money in the divorce." All the old ladies at the table next us having lunch stfu real fast.  I think he was trying to troll them and knew I'd say something appropriate.

That's what grandsugarbabies are for, right?

Yes and lots of other inappropriate things!

One time I was out drinking with an old retired doctor and a bunch of other people, and we took a break from drinking to eat dinner at this mom-and-pops steakhouse. The steak was truly wretched. They literally doused it in seasoned salt before cooking it. Anyway, I started telling this bullshit story in a loud fake old-school Southern aristocratic accent about my imaginary adventures with the governor's (presumably underage) daughter. You should've seen the looks on the faces of the family at the table on the other side of the dining area. We decided it would our best bet to leave shortly after that.

AHAHAHAHA! OMG that's so funny!