All Time Favorite Figure Skaters

[Mister Obvious]

Super short performance, the quality is good but the camera work isn't that great.



They both look sexy as fuck though. The commentator sounds crisp as hell. Sounds super modern. Maybe it's a voiceover and way more recent.

They're amazing ice dancers, super gorgeous, but Sui Wenjing and Han Cong would curbstomp them for sure.

[Mister Obvious]

Rofl.

[Mister Obvious]

Ah, it's so satisfying.

[Mister Obvious]

Apparently "ice dance" is its own category in the Olympics since 1976.

No one has ever won triples, but Oksana Grishuk and Evgeni Platov won twice back to back, 1994-98.

There should be pretty good footage of them.

What the fuck is the difference between "pairs" figure skating and ice dance anyway??

Why aren't there single ice dancers??



Oh I definitely recognize these two.

Dude, Lillehammer had to be one of THE most iconic Olympics ever. For real.

I'm telling you, there was something about the mid-1990s era for figure skating, it was a magical time.

I guess the main difference is that there's more focus on foot work with "ice dancing"? Wasn't that what figure skating was supposed to be in the first place?

Pft I dunno, if you ask me, I think they need to go back to making THIS what "figure skating" is.

Cuz for the past like ~12 years or so, it's all been this INSANE bullshit about how many times you can flip in the air and do all kinds of crazy shit, I think figure skating got a little bit off track from what it was originally supposed to be about.

It's kinda like p0rno and how oversaturated the market got, and everybody just started doing the most twisted retarded shit imaginable to get attention. I mean, there's nowhere to go from that point. You just gotta nuke the whole nine and go back to basics.

People have been complaining about figure skating on this front for YEARS, ESPECIALLY as it concerns the Olympics.

They've got a point. It's time for a fresh start, simplify shit again.

[Mister Obvious]

These amazing skaters from the '70s or whatever might seem underwhelming compared to the more modern stuff, but I bet they had longer careers and weren't as physically messed up from all the whacked out flips and tricks.

[Mister Obvious]

If Yuzuru had done nothing but a bunch of toned down '70s skater shit, I bet he'd have been able to compete in the Olympics til he was like 35.

[Mister Obvious]

It's amazing the giant shit society has taken in the past 70 years man, like for real.

You can even see it in the figure skating, and that's pretty bad.

[Mister Obvious]

Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron, 2022 Beijing winners.

She's gorgeous, really beautiful dress too.

1:23 these two are superb, but I really see no difference between this and just regular "pairs" skating, like what is the difference??

Maybe it's just the choreography or how close they typically stay together??

Make figure skating ice dancing again. Basically. There should honestly be no difference.

3:13 okay, I think he's showing us what the difference supposedly is. You can tell he's a straight up DANCER. I feel like a lot of figure skaters may not even necessarily consider themselves dancers. What a strange thought. Could that possibly be true??

Ice dance (sometimes referred to as ice dancing) is a discipline of figure skating that historically draws from ballroom dancing.

Okay, well I still don't get the difference between ice dancing and figure skating.

So it's like figure skating is focusing on technical moves while ice dancing is focusing on rhythm.

I still think separating the two is bullshit.

Maybe things started to go off track with figure skating back in 1976 when they decided they needed a separate category for "ice dancing".

Definitely part of Operation Degradation though, total conspiracy...

[Mister Obvious]

Yuzuru would have won the 2022 Olympics and had a triple gold streak if he hadn't been injured during practice.

That's just facts.

Fate fucked him out of a position he probably would have held for 100 years.

It's just not fair man.

The 2022 Olympics was straight up cursed.

[Mister Obvious]

Watching some of these videos, I don't think Grafstrom or Salchow would've had a prayer of winning against Yuzuru.

And luckily it's not fair to compare males and females, because I think Sonja could definitely hold her own against him.

But in the end, I have no doubt he'd beat her too. Yuzuru Hanyu is the greatest figure skater who ever lived.

[Mister Obvious]

I wonder what it's like to be him and to know that shit deep down, even though you'd never brag about it cuz that'd be classless.

Seriously... to wake up every day knowing you are the greatest figure skater who ever lived. That'd be wild.

[Mister Obvious]

To look in the mirror and just know...

You're looking at a legend.

You're looking at the greatest of all time.

It's YOU.

YOU are the greatest of all time.

Like...

Holy shit.

That's power dude.

And now he's just chilling man, taking it easy, ice dancing.

Just doing shit that looks cool, no pressure to win win win, just making art on ice.

And he's only 30 years old. Literally, he could live to be 90.

And I bet he'll probably never see his equal in this life. I bet he won't.

It took 62 years for Yuzuru to come along and match Dick's back to back win.

I mean, some dude could come along and win back to back again, sure.

But even if he does, he ain't gonna be no fucking Yuzuru Hanyu.

It's not just about winning the gold man, it's about the way you impact the sport.

The impact you leave on the world, or at least the people who give a shit about figure skating.

That's some once in a lifetime shit right there, his accomplishments go beyond Olympic gold man.

[Mister Obvious]

Yuzuru Hanyu is the only winter sports athlete included on the International Sports Press Association list of the most impactful male athletes of the past 100 years. The vote, conducted in 2024 by 913 sports journalists from 137 countries, placed him 6th overall.

6th best athlete, PERIOD.

Not just in skating, in EVERYTHING.

[Mister Obvious]

Amber Glenn is pretty good...



She should go to the Olympics and win the gold once just to break up the Russian monotony.

An American chick hasn't won since Sarah Hughes in 2002.

[Mister Obvious]

If that's not ICE DANCING, then what the fuck is exactly?

Regardless, there's no way he's not gonna win Olympic gold at least once.

I'm not sure why I don't have total confidence in him...

On the surface, an Olympic victory for Ilia just seems like a given.

But there's this weird, inexplicable undertone of tragedy I feel with him.

Maybe it's normal to feel that way to some degree, since what he's doing is physically taxing, it's dangerous, it's crazy beautiful and you don't want anything to happen that fucks it up.

I dunno. I HOPE he wins at least once, cuz I mean come on, look at the guy. Can he do it? Sure fucking seems like it.

God knows he's the best on the scene right now, male or female, and we need hope for the future of figure skating but...

These folks just be doing too much these days. You can't have a long career with 8 quads in a row every time like come on dude, it's just fricken unrealistic.

It reminds me of Steve Perry and Arnel Pineda singing for Journey until their voices are fried. There's a fricken limit to human capability, THERE JUST IS. You can't do that shit forever.

That's what figure skating has become. Straight up.

[Mister Obvious]

Dude OMG...

Ilia has a little sister named Elli Beatrice and they're forcing her to skate too.

This is their mom:



This is their dad:



There's no way in hell BOTH their kids WANTED to be friggen figure skaters.



Shit, she's about as talented as her brother is already.

But yeah, I don't think Ilia or his sister ever got informed that there are lots of options for what you can do in life, and you can do stuff other than skate.

I think they were pushed and prodded into this and have been under strict rule by both their parents to fulfill this dream for them.

Cuz their parents suck compared to them.

They must be on cloud nine just thinking their kids are the best fucking skaters ever...

Meanwhile they're gonna have to pull 12 quads in every program and have injuries out the wazoo that eventually keep them from competing at all by the time they're like 24.

It's like that warped ballet shit only worse.

[Mister Obvious]

Cuz their parents suck compared to them.

They're just basic in comparison, but their dad is definitely the more talented one.

He's pretty hot TBH.

Hmmm...

I wonder if it's kinda like the same thing as being in the circus, just sorta gets passed down through the family.

I never thought about it that way.

[Mister Obvious]

It's TOTALLY like being in the circus.

[Mister Obvious]

That doesn't make it okay though.

[Mister Obvious]

The US really needs to step up their game and get more in Russia and China's league. There's not enough funding for competitive athletics. It's kind of shameful TBH.