My summary of the zodiac signs...

[Mister Obvious]

Sagittarius: Like Aries, only MORE vain.

Cancer: Scorpio done badly.

Leo: Serially amorous, believes their own lies with conviction.

Taurus: Let's eat.

Virgo: Pretentious in the most natural way.

Gemini: Two-faced shit-talkers but somehow likable 60% of the time.

Capricorn: Impossible to ACTUALLY have sex with.

Pisces: Like a fire sign when angry, generally the most tolerable water sign.

Libra: Wildcards who are often like Gemini only less likable.

Aquarius: Sex offenders or nah.

Aries: Natural born assholes, but somehow likable 30% of the time.

Scorpio: Intriguing, obnoxious, sexy, frustrating, and best avoided.

[somethingelseishere]

1) Cancer: Scorpio done badly.

2) Scorpio: Intriguing, obnoxious, sexy, frustrating, and best avoided.

1) Bahhahahahaha, that's a good one.

2) 


Not sure if I should sissy-cry or compulsion-eat... *Jeopardy theme song*

[Mister Obvious]

Are you a Scorpio???

Pretty sure I never knew your sign.

Wait, are you saying you're a Cancer???

[Mister Obvious]

Sorry I'm having trouble understanding things that I assume must be totally obvious today...

If this keeps up I'll have to change my name to Mister Not That Obvious.

[Mister Obvious]

Mister Can't Understand Obvious Things.

[Mister Obvious]

Anymore.

[Mister Obvious]

Mister Cognitive Decline.

[Mister Obvious]

You guys get to watch me slowly like not make sense, even more less than usual.

[somethingelseishere]

Are you a Scorpio???

Yes. And it's been a rough ride, this life.
I'd much rather just be a dude's-dude, ya know.
Not feeling all the fucking feelings. At least not as deeply
and intensely. It really gets in the way of living.

[Mister Obvious]

Well...

At least you're not a Cancer...

[Mister Obvious]

The problem with Cancer ain't a lack of attractiveness though, I will say that.