You can't let just any ol' retard post on your discussion forum...

[Mister Obvious]

This is a fact.

And no I'm not referencing any of you lurkers I've chewed out, don't get your panties in a twist. Well, except for that one guy...

But for real. People say the dumbest shit, are a total embarrassment, are LIARS, and ultimately, if you let them post, your site just looks like shit.

So few folks out there can actually run a decent message board to begin with, it's such a rarity... I really can't even name one that I do think is run well.

And ultimately you have to look at your user base. Is it just a bunch of fucking morons? And you allow those morons to post? Fuckup #1.

You have to cultivate and maintain only quality... to whatever standard you're capable of or interested in. It's about curating all the best shit (according to your niche), not letting every moron alive post total crap.

Lastly... the internet is FULL of shills. It's the wild damn west, or at least it has been up to this point. If just anyone can post, then your site will be used as a mouthpiece for the agenda du jour. There will be foundations laid by shills to use for future influence. There will be planted posts. Your site will be used to sway people in whatever direction THEY want.

If by allowing open posting, forums are operating on the principle of informational freeflow... that principle hasn't applied to the internet in more than a decade. There are armies dedicated to propagating shill info. It's an unnatural force, against a natural one... everyday individuals browsing from a few devices at most, like a normal person.

The bottom line is that there are very few message boards out there which are run by experts. The popular ones with open posting? Absolutely not run by experts. The smaller ones with more restricted posting? Probably not run by experts either, but this one sure the fuck is ;)

[Mister Obvious]

Now let's talk content...

This is a niche website, and the niche is me and what the fuck I care about. It just is what it is.

But if this site was about ah I dunno, antique cars or something...

Nothing would change. It would be run exactly the way it is now. Restricted posting for Guests, and restricted posting for new members until they prove they're not retards. In the event that someone who has registered proves themselves to be a total fucking idiot, they are never (knowingly) allowed to have an account again. You may think that's hard to enforce but trust me, it absolutely is not. They can't help but out themselves in like the first 5 minutes if they are ever able to join again... we're talking about morons here. It's not that hard.

If your community is too big for you to keep up with, then there need to be a SHITLOAD of mods, with ABSOLUTELY LIMITED moderation capabilities. They shouldn't be able to view IPs, permanently remove posts (only hide them from view), edit other users' posts, etc.

Then there should be a tier of mods above them who CAN delete posts, edit them, etc.

Then, most important of all... there must be at least one expert (preferably more) who moderates the moderators. For big communities, a lot of mods are necessary, and someone has to make sure they're trained right, don't have an agenda, aren't idiots, are actually DOING SOMETHING, and are continually briefed by higher ups, while at the same time encouraged to contact higher ups about any concerning behavior they might be witnessing in the community.

So depending on the size of the community, there may be one or two people who can take care of ALL aspects of running the operation. But in bigger communities? If they're not using the above outlined system? Clusterfuck.

[Mister Obvious]

One reason I think MyBB is the best forum software (free) is because they have a great system of "hiding" posts. They're not removed, they're hidden in place. This makes it easy for a higher up mod to go along and see what the lower rung mods are doing, if they're doing it right, or if their actions need to be undone. Just a tip.

[Mister Obvious]

As far as being concerned about a lack of instant posting for Guests and the impeding effect that could have on up to date info and discussing situations in real time...

Anyone who is worth a fuck will register an account and have access to instant posting. It's that simple. If they're not willing to register an account, then they deserve to have their posts lag behind by minutes (or hours), because that's THEIR level of dedication.

Meanwhile your level of dedication as a community manager is to ensure that only quality posts from Guests ever see the light of day, because let's face it... more times than not, the privilege of instant posting is abused by the Guest tier. Be it spam bots, haters, or just total morons... people are lucky there is even the option to post as a Guest, and if it takes hours for their post to show up, that's just too damn bad.

If registered, instant access posting members are having a conversation that progresses to page 9, meanwhile Guest's post will be showing up on page 3 after it gets approved by a mod hours later? Well that's what they get for being a Guest.

[Mister Obvious]

Now for the most important quality forum owners and moderators can ever have...

Something which can't be taught in any tutorial...

Discernment.

It's usually developed after years of moderating communities, and some may just have a natural knack for it.

The ability to see a bad influence, to note corrosive behavior out of posters, to be able to see where things are going.

Indeed, in the early days of forum management, it's common to feel like you're crazy, if you have good discernment. You can see the agenda behind posters in a way that others can't and people in the community just don't get it. You take problem posters out before their cancer can spread too far, and if they've made any friends in the community, there will be bitching. Therefore you can expect a lot of complaining about management, if you're running your site even halfway properly, and if it's of considerable size.

Discernment is what separates an expert from an everyday mod or admin. A forum community of any size is lucky to have even one expert... and they usually don't. And damn is it ever obvious.

[Mister Obvious]

Of course mods will make mistakes sometimes, even the experts will make mistakes, human error is a thing.

There. That's enough obligatory humbleness.

[Guest]

An excellent addition to our continuing series on how to build your own motherfucking website.

Therefore you can expect a lot of complaining about management, if you're running your site even halfway properly, and if it's of considerable size.

Exactly. The original FC was well-moderated as far as troll boards go. The spinoffs were usually run by one guy, who was also the software developer.

The clientele's favorite complaints:

* "Muh freedom of speech!"

* Constantly nagging for new features, emotes, etc.

* Concern trolling about aspects of board management, features, functionality, and other users.

While the original was a pretty bare bones system, some of the later spinoffs became bells-and-whistles bloatware. One user would hound the sysop for a new feature, and another would concern troll about the new feature when it was added.

It drove the admins nuts.

I put the best cutting edge features of my red board in the admin console. I had a shooting gallery page where I could go down the front page a-clicking on topics to add them to a continuously running deletion queue. I mean click and it was gone. Same thing for posts in threads. I was able to remove bot spam faster than the bots could post it.

[Mister Obvious]

An excellent addition to our continuing series on how to build your own motherfucking website.

Thank you sir, that means a lot coming from you!

* Constantly nagging for new features, emotes, etc.

* Concern trolling about aspects of board management, features, functionality, and other users.

I fricken hate that! It's not a GENERAL rule, it's more of a personal tastes kinda thing, but me personally? I don't take suggestions.

I put the best cutting edge features of my red board in the admin console. I had a shooting gallery page where I could go down the front page a-clicking on topics to add them to a continuously running deletion queue. I mean click and it was gone. Same thing for posts in threads. I was able to remove bot spam faster than the bots could post it.

YEAH BABY, TALK DIRTY TO MEEEE.

[Guest]

YEAH BABY, TALK DIRTY TO MEEEE.

HMU in DM

[Mister Obvious]

And let's talk about courtesy.

The fact that instant Guest posting isn't allowed saves the READER so much fucking BS to sort through...

SO much.

It is a COURTESY to the READER that instant Guest posting is not allowed. Why?

1. Spam.

If you watch this board, you'll notice there's basically almost never spam. Okay, every thread I make is spam. Agreed. BUT... I'm talking ACTUAL spam. Like boner med spam and porno spam etc. That's one thing. Then there are other types of spam, like HATER SPAM! Sometimes haters will come along to open posting boards and just spam the same stupid thread as many times as the board is set to allow posting within how ever many seconds.

I can tell you, that kind of shit being displayed on a message board even for just a few minutes before mods get to it? Absolutely inexcusable and should never happen in fucking 2020. LOL! That's some 2002 shit right there, ladies and gents.

I've raised this point VERY briefly before even in discussions around here and had people reply that there are "add ons" that can mitigate spam, or there are people you can hire (lmfao, as if!) to moderate your board. Okay, first of all, if I was gonna have mods, it'd be people I actually gave a fuck about and KNEW had good sense... not just some random fuckwit I don't know from Adam. Nah. And "add ons" (plugins)?? Pour gasoline on that idea and torch it fucking now, because I do not use addons or plugins on my sites, unless it's a Wordpress, and even then I am VERY picky. If you're putting plugins on your site, you need to know you are just begging to be hacked. Why make it all the more easy for anyone with even low level skills? Really folks.

And that leads me around to another important topic...

[Mister Obvious]

Let's discuss...

Respect for trolls, hackers, and all other internet bad actors who will inevitably interact with you and your operation sometime throughout the course of time.

Listen, these people are often some of the most LIKABLE people you will ever cross paths with online. They are often VERY funny, interesting, charming, and dare I even say, some of the most special people who exist online.

These people shouldn't be antagonized, they shouldn't be hated, they shouldn't be relegated to leper status... not as far as you/your community refers to them publicly, and not as far as you (as a community manager) feel about them personally and privately.

In fact, if you run a big community and you have a lot of mods or just any personalities who represent your board/site, and they start talking mad shit about these folks... I truly recommend correcting their behavior.

[Mister Obvious]

Some of the most memorable, lovable people I have ever encountered online (and still love to this day) have been serious troublemakers. Some of them, legitimate spammers (the hater kind). Some of them, actual hackers (coders gone bad). They hold a special place in my heart... and perhaps not everyone has had this experience (because most people don't run their own sites, do they?) so they are not aware of how great these people can be. They are ignorant to that fact... and that is why I recommend schooling your mods about these folks, just so they know.

[Mister Obvious]

It's kinda like wolves/coyotes...

I personally think they are some of the worst damn animals on the fucking planet, lmao.

But some people LOVE wolves.

Some people feel a kindred connection to wolves...

And I respect that, for those people, those feelings and connections are valid.

Not my cup of tea, but I can see that for them, it's a positive association.

[Guest]

Okay, every thread I make is spam.

Coulda fooled me.

If you're putting plugins on your site, you need to know you are just begging to be hacked.

Yeah, features should be added by the original developers. Never trust any third-party code unless you understand it and agree with everything it's doing.

[Mister Obvious]

Circa October 2002 there was a specific message board that I discovered by way of a family member, and it led me into total obsession with the message board format in general. I would troll this board incessantly, all day every day, and often my antics would get me banned for weeks at a time. One fun quirk was that when you were banned, this particular site used to redirect to BettyBowers.com... https://web.archive.org/web/200211060807...bowers.com You'd know you were in trouble when you saw that screen, "L O R D I N G . . ." instead of loading, lmao, classic!

Anyway, every time I got banned, I would make my own forum. It was always one of those free forum sites like Invision Power Boards or whatever kinda shit that offered a free hosting version in those days. It all had to be free of course, because I was A FUCKINGGG CHILD.

I'd make the forum, play with all the functions, fine tune it to whatever degree I could with what features were offered, play with customizing the layout and making (undoubtedly eye bleeding level obnoxious) different colored skins and stuff. I'd talk to myself all day and night until the bans were lifted at whatever site I had been a bad girl on...

Because every time people would get banned from one message board, those capable of hosting their own sites (i.e., adults) would make a "splinter" forum and usually, those didn't last, but some of them did. Then a lot of banned fuckers would go and register at those splinter forums. I'd say ultimately we ended up with 4 or 5 decent splinter forums at the height of it all (pre-2007).

I'd go on to spend the rest of my childhood and a good portion of my adult years on these various boards until I invented my own in 2016 after getting fed up with being fucked over by owners of other message boards who put the value of their patrons at absolute fucking zero.

Since then, my credo has been MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING WEBSITE. DO NOT put your time and energy into other peoples' websites, UNLESS you're at least AWARE of what you're doing and aware that it's likely the owners/mods don't give a flying fuck about you, and you're cool with that. You ALWAYS have to assume (no matter where you are) that NO ONE is going to value your work. If there's anything I've learned over the years, it's that no one cares about anything but themselves. So then why should you care about anything but yourself? So look out for numero uno. I don't care who you are... your time is valuable and should be respected by EVERYONE. But they won't respect it... so YOU HAVE TO.

Use your VALUABLE time, the ONLY true commodity/currency you ACTUALLY have, and build something for YOURSELF that you can be the sole authority on. If you choose not to do this? Save EVERYTHING you EVER write on other peoples' sites in text files to your hard drive (AS YOU WRITE THEM), don't EVER depend on any site you don't own to actually store the products of your valuable time, brain power, and hard work. And even if it is your own site, you obviously need to save it locally but lol, no shit.

[Mister Obvious]

. . . it led me into total obsession with the message board format in general.

Before that, since about 1999, I had strictly been a chatroom personality.

Pre-1999, I was on WebTV and dancing with danger to the hilt in "pen pal" world.

I had found a legitimate, ACTUAL, other kid pen pal to write back 'n forth with snail mail style.

Yuuup.

That's right.

I HAD GIVEN MY ADDRESS! ROFL!

Ahahaha.

But I was no fool back in those days, some of my earliest online memories are sparring with pedophiles and emerging the victor...

As soon as I realized what was going on I'd either just ghost 'em or say the most fucked up shit an 8 year old could come up with and then ghost them!?

It should be no surprise to anyone versed on the behaviors of the global internet population that the most twisted psycho pedo I ever crossed paths with was an Aussie.

[Mister Obvious]

And if you're making your own website, don't use some weirdass software to do it.

If you're gonna make a forum, you have like 2 options.

MyBB, or phpBB.

That's it.

Literally.

If you're not making a forum, use Wordpress.

That's it.

Literally.

Because MyBB/phpBB are open source, have a dedicated community behind them who care a lot, and have been around since the beginning of the internet message board boom circa 2000ish.

Wordpress, well it's the most used site creation software these days I'm sure...

And all this means that these platforms have a solid foundation, good history, have been around a long time, and based on those facts, odds are they'll be around for a long time to come (if the world doesn't end, lmao!?)...

DO NOT fuck with weird software that hasn't been around that long, or is just too complex, or doesn't have a longstanding, supportive community behind it.

Unless you're a legitimate coder, then I guess you can do whatever you want...

But why bother with extra headaches? There will be plenty to deal with when operating your own site anyway, use your time efficiently.

[Mister Obvious]

#1 rule above all else?

All things must pass.

Yes, you will die...

Or you'll sell your site...

Or you'll just close it...

Or you'll get attacked off the internet...

SOMETHING will happen SOMETIME that endangers the life of your site, etc. etc.

Just like anything in real life...

Stuff will come up.

What do you do about it? Well, fight the good fight as long as you can...

But don't hold on too tightly to anything.

This is honestly just general life advice.

If you save all your work, and even if it's only for yourself, to prove where you've been, what you've done, where your time has gone...

You did good. It's good enough. You're good enough. Good work.

Let everything else just pass if it must. Nothing will ever leave you, nor will you ever leave until it's truly meant to be.

[Mister Obvious]

He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

[Mister Obvious]

School's out, bitches. Go forth and own your own site.