I don't even know...
#1
Blink 
... what to call this thread.

Originally this was mostly aimed at the disconnect I feel with my music & writing.
The feeling of not being able to submerge myself into what I'm doing. To fully feel it.

I'm sure you all know that feeling of throwing punches underwater. It's like that.
But it extends far beyond my creative pursuits. In fact, I've really had that feeling
my whole life. Energy block? Cockblocked by Life? Whatever it is, it's fucked-up-annoying.

I'm sure my current life situation is lending heavily to this [not going into it, but it's not
this silly-ass quarantine business, I can do that shit standing on my head!] But I know
it's got to be more to it than that. It's as though I'm living life through a two-inch glass
barrier. I'm on the outside of it all, X amount of degrees removed.

Not a plea for pity, just wanting to know if any of y'all ever feel this way. What did/do you do
to get the victory over it? I have an anxiety & depressive disorder but I don't feel that this
current wave is being brought on by that. It's not quite as bruising, it's more just an empty
lifeless kind of feeling. Limbo. It's really very aggravating. I have SO much that I want to do
right now [music/writing] and it's all behind glass. 

And before anyone says it, I can't drink or use drugs anymore. Believe me, if I could hit that
particular release valve, I would! But those things are no longer options. Not to mention, they
would only be temporary surface treatments, not actual tools for life-long repairs. 

Thoughts?
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#2
I personally use art to release things...

9 times outta 10, it's the release of some kinda bad emotion.

My guess is if you changed your current situation in life, you'd have more things to release afterward.

As of now, seems like all the releasing possible is done.
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#3
(05-20-2020, 06:32 AM)Mister Obvious Wrote: 9 times outta 10, it's the release of some kinda bad emotion.

Well, not necessarily "bad" as in negative, but as in weighty.
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#4
To me it's a method of processing...

And if you've processed all you can from your current position, seems like you'd need to change that position...

Then you could process all that happened in your former situation, from the NEW position.

But it can't happen if no change is made.
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#5
(05-20-2020, 05:58 AM)somethingelseishere Wrote: ... it's not this silly-ass quarantine business, I can do that shit standing on my head!

It's as though I'm living life through a two-inch glass barrier. I'm on the outside of it all, X amount of degrees removed.

Dry spells can be due to lack of engagement with the world, so I think the quarantine does have something to do with it. Feeling detached or dissociated is a good indicator.

Emily Bronte may be able to fabricate an intricately detailed universe through sheer force of imagination, but most of us need stimulation to provide grist for the meal.

Shit, didn't mean to sound like Ann Landers.
Reply
#6
(05-20-2020, 05:58 AM)somethingelseishere Wrote: ... what to call this thread.

Originally this was mostly aimed at the disconnect I feel with my music & writing.
The feeling of not being able to submerge myself into what I'm doing. To fully feel it.

I'm sure you all know that feeling of throwing punches underwater. It's like that.
But it extends far beyond my creative pursuits. In fact, I've really had that feeling
my whole life. Energy block? Cockblocked by Life? Whatever it is, it's fucked-up-annoying.

I'm sure my current life situation is lending heavily to this [not going into it, but it's not
this silly-ass quarantine business, I can do that shit standing on my head!] But I know
it's got to be more to it than that. It's as though I'm living life through a two-inch glass
barrier. I'm on the outside of it all, X amount of degrees removed.

Not a plea for pity, just wanting to know if any of y'all ever feel this way. What did/do you do
to get the victory over it? I have an anxiety & depressive disorder but I don't feel that this
current wave is being brought on by that. It's not quite as bruising, it's more just an empty
lifeless kind of feeling. Limbo. It's really very aggravating. I have SO much that I want to do
right now [music/writing] and it's all behind glass. 

And before anyone says it, I can't drink or use drugs anymore. Believe me, if I could hit that
particular release valve, I would! But those things are no longer options. Not to mention, they
would only be temporary surface treatments, not actual tools for life-long repairs. 

Thoughts?


I'll let you know when I know because it sounds like you're experiencing what I've been experiencing for a long time. 

Stuff's changing now though. something inside got "lit"

I don't expect it to be an immediate process but I feel a kinetic energy building momentum. 

I wish the best of luck to you, or may you just find and isolate, then manipulate what's causing the problems. 

You seem to have a pretty good mind; I mean pretty cool to express yourself the way you did. 

I have a really awesome friend that's a big inspiration; I know it should come internally but my friend is a big supporter 

of what I'm doing and seems to believe more in what I'm going to do than I am. I hope you find that kind of friend.
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#7
Thanks guys.
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