Longest lasting Facebook outage ever!!!
If only it could be forever...

Down for over 5 hours now pretty sure...

Lol, you know sheeple everywhere are LOSING IT!!!
Makes me glad I have my own tiny little website where I can post inane, pointless bullshit uninterrupted!!!

Could you imagine the average sheeple tardass FB user even trying to make their own site??

It would never happen.

I bet they don't know what to do with themselves.
Apparently people at the FB HQ are locked out of the building because their passes won't work cuz the whole system is doornail dead!
So they can't even get in to fix it.

It sounds like they're having to fly or bus in a team of fuckers to some server somewhere to 'reboot' it.


That was like one of the last updates I saw and that's some bottom of the barrel shit right there.
Unfortunately it'll probably be back within hours...

But it'd be baller as fuck if this outage lasted for days, or even better, forever.
Of course it's not just FB that is down, other services have been having problems too...

It's actually been a widespread issue today.

Apparently everyone from FB/IG/etc. are piling onto Twitter and crashing it too.

It'd be righteous if Twitter went down too!!!
Heard some cell service providers are out as well.

I dunno, sounds like a big attack, but they're trying to say some update or some shit at FB was what caused the outage...

I don't buy it because what's responsible for the other service outages then?

They trying to do damage control and make sure the public doesn't freak out?

We can only hope!!!
I think FB got hacked too, it didn't just go down.

Maybe FB is gonna get ransomed in the biggest fucking internet ransom job of all time.

That'd be insane!!!

Shitloads of services are down!!!

This has been a great day.

I'm sure it'll all come back online soon and things will return to normal...

The sheeple will be so relieved that they get to bury their heads in the sand and talk more shit on social media to a bunch of strangers who could never care less...

It'll be like nothing happened.
Apparently this outage caused Fuckerberg to fall a rank in the "World's Richest" list!!!

So fragile though...
Apparently the only way the FB tech people can comms right now is via text messages and email, and they're sharing a ton of sensitive data through those channels... lmfaooo!!! Maybe that's why some of the cell services are down... maybe their comms are being intercepted or it's another way to make it harder for them to communicate right now. Juicy AF!!! Imaginary popcorn in hand!!!
It'd be great if it was down for days and then came back up all fucked up and shit, ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!
It'd be cool as fuck if the whole thing was just WIPED and unrecoverable.
What if it's been hacked and everybody's shit gets made totally public??

All the private messages and shit on full display!!!

Imagine how many marriages would be destroyed!!!

I'm having a doomgasm...

I'll be so disappointed when it comes back up. The fun will immediately be over.
It's definitely an historical outage re: internet history, a huge and hilarious blunder.

And let's not forget it's Mercury retrograde!!!
Just imagining all the skinny-jeans wearing soyboys who work for FB trying to wave their gayass passes in front of the sensors and not being able to get into the "smart building" ROFLMFAOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is epic!!! I love it!!!

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