TolstoyKafkaEvsky: Old School YouTube Superstar

[Mister Obvious]

First mention of Tolstoy Kafka Evsky on Sectual:

"Archetypes: Dopplegangers have similar heights, weights, habits, and behaviors"
https://www.sectual.com/thread-18676-pos...#pid186564

The whole exchange is too bizarre to quote on this thread. TL;DR, he is the exact twin of someone I know in real life, and I thought it was pretty damn weird.

The heart of the matter...

He's been making videos since early YouTube, and his last upload was 3 years ago. Apparently he moved into a trailer in the woods with no internet connection.

Sounds suss as fuck if you ask me... I bet there's a story.

Nevertheless, the guy is absolutely hilarious. One of the quickest wits I've ever seen, and he's not a sheeple.

We need a whole army of TolstoyKafkaEvsky.

People were so in love with this dude that they saved all his videos after he warned that they were gonna get deleted and they reuploaded them with the original upload date as a comment on each video.

Cult personality.

Some quick wiki action:

Tolstoy Kafka Evsky: Official Channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/TolstoyKafkaEvsky

TolstoyKafkaEvsky: Archive Channel
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtg1sE_...QqL9bPkqkw

Official Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/tolstoy.k.evsky

Second Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/tolstoyvidz

Blogger Profile Page (2009)
https://www.blogger.com/profile/04467922230335955044

Blogspot: Tolstoy's Last Stand
https://tolstoyslaststand.blogspot.com

Official DeviantArt Page
https://www.deviantart.com/tolstoykafkaevsky

Steam Community: TolstoyKafkaEvsky Fan Group
https://steamcommunity.com/groups/TKEFanGroup

Wordpress Blog
https://tolstoykafkaevsky.wordpress.com

Official Twitter
https://x.com/tkevsky

Moving along...

It is my opinion (and undoubtedly this opinion is shared by his fanbase) that he is one of THE FUNNIEST, MOST ENTERTAINING PEOPLE who EVER graced YouTube. Period. It's off the charts, unquantifiable.

He was a neckbeard meme before neckbeard memes were a thing. Hell, this guy might have been the sole inspiration of the neck beard meme in the first place.

He's also been made into a meme for his fedora/katana photo... https://i.imgur.com/4roLqXt.jpeg

That meme persists to this day.

Discovering Tolstoy made me consider YouTube (and the internet in general) through a different lens. Granted, this guy's videos date back damn near 20 years, it's not like they were made 100 years ago or something.

But in internet time? 20 years is a pretty long damn time. Recently, I posted the very first video ever uploaded to YouTube, uploaded "20 years ago"...

https://i.imgur.com/NMMSVVO.png

I think what we have going on here online is pretty fucking significant. If the internet lasts, the grid doesn't go down and so on, these videos have the potential to be discovered another 20 years from now, and beyond. What are the implications? How does this change the way we learn about those who came before us?

Of course you all know that I do not think this shit is gonna last...

"The Sage Wanderer: This guy's got some crazy stories"
https://www.sectual.com/thread-4890-post...l#pid55069

But again here we are talking about the internet (video) being something that lasts for "generations"...

Things like Facebook etc. won't be around in 100 years, I'm sorry. It just won't be. The whole digital progression will be like the comparison between phonographs and MP3 players by then, only with tech and concepts that are totally beyond our understanding at this time. Or, it'll be the stone ages again due to natural events (CME/EMP, etc). One or the other.

What will have promise of longevity is the WRITTEN WORD. So go ahead and make your videos, but TRANSCRIBE that material and have physical copies of it. That is absolutely the only way to ensure that it might survive.

But what if it doesn't all get wiped out? What if the internet really is around in 50-100 years? What if YouTube is somehow still viewable, albeit in the same vein as a tintype photo is to us today?

More thoughts from the original Tolstoy discussion...

Psychos like me are still coming across it and loving the hell out of it all these years later.

But is this unnatural? Is it a bad idea to chronicle your life on video?

Should we really have this window through time to see ourselves this way? And for other people to see us this way?

Should we just hide instead, and be lost to time completely?

Maybe time shouldn't even really be considered though...

I've been watching these Tolstoy vids off and on for a couple days while multitasking, and I've experienced some pretty wild synchronicities, like he'd say some shit that I was reading word for word.

He randomly said "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" at the moment that I was reading those exact words in a Reddit comment on a thread about people's favorite TV shows.

My point is...

I'm not sure we should be looking at the passing of time in a negative way, because it seems like we have the ability to pierce through the veil.

A broken clock is right twice a day.

The matrix/simulation seems to have a built in 'synch' feature that lines everything up in ways that can't logically be explained.

If this kind of shit CAN be logically explained, enlighten me. Cuz to me, it all seems like some kind of strange magic.

People still leave comments on his videos begging him to come back.

And what about the cult of personality?

Is it a blessing that people still want him to come back after all these years? Is it a curse? Is it just a snapshot of the human condition, our need for community and togetherness?

What kind of togetherness is the internet providing? Is it good, is it bad?

Discovering Tolstoy raised a lot of questions in my mind.

In this thread, I'll be posting some videos from his main channel and archive. I probably won't provide much commentary because I've already watched most of them.

I'll include the title of the video and the upload date where applicable from the archive channel.

I personally don't give a fuck about the videos that don't show his face, so I won't be posting those.

[Mister Obvious]

I'll just start off with the video that marked the beginning of my journey down the Tolstoy rabbit hole...

[Cold Steel Medium Espada Review]

Uploaded: August 17, 2012

Description: I wear a white suit and talk about the Cold Steel Medium Espada

Here's what I said about the video in the original Tolstoy discussion...

Well the other night I was just browsing around YouTube looking at reviews for this particular piece of weaponry I wanted to buy. I wanted to make an informed decision, get the right one, see what other people had to say about it, you know, the usual.

And lo and behold, I run across this review from like 13 years ago...

I watched the entire video and enjoyed this guy's personality so much that I started browsing his channel looking for LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE to watch just because he was so damn enjoyable.

So I find a couple other vids, and I choose the longest ones cuz I really wanna spend some time with this guy, total pleasure zone getting all lit up and I instantly just wanna binge every single video he's ever made.

[Guest]

I read your arch types threads MO. Very interesting. Dan

[Mister Obvious]

His username is a combination of 3 of the most iconic writers of all time...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Tolstoy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franz_Kafka

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fyodor_Dostoevsky

Each of these guys alone is a powerhouse, but you put them all together?

You read this combination if you want to become bulletproof.

The psychology behind someone would choose these identifiers is LAYERED.

It's just...

Armor.

Straight up.

Not much else to say about it. I think it's pretty self-explanatory.

Further evidenced by his focus on weaponry and escapist tendencies with comics, action figures, etc.

Open book.

[Mister Obvious]

I read your arch types threads MO. Very interesting. Dan

Thank you Dan!!!

[Mister Obvious]

[What I Got at the Gun Show]

Uploaded: Apr 17, 2011

Description: The power to my house came on about 10 minutes before I did this video.

[Mister Obvious]

And before I go any further, let me just address the elephant in the room...

Yes, 90% of the reason I even watched these videos or give a shit about memorializing Tolstoy's internet fame is because HE'S HOT.

Fine, it's true, so what?

In some of his videos he ballparks his age, he was born in the late '80s, therefore he was probably like 23 in 2011.

So before you call me a perv, back it the fuck up. Guy's older than me.

Yes, I'm a perv, but even in the oldest video on his channel (2007) he was at least 18. I can think he's cute if I damn well please.

God dang, lay the fuck off.

You pair his looks with his sense of humor and I can assure you, people were watching him BECAUSE they thought he was attractive. That's the bottom line.

[Mister Obvious]

Finding this motherfucker's videos has been one continuous orgasm for me though, I'm not gonna lie.

I'll forget it ever happened and then remember this shit exists and get so fucking excited all over again, lmao.

It's just fucking crazy. But it's also sad cuz it doesn't seem like he's ever gonna come back...

All the videos that are left is probably all we're ever gonna get.

He did do some livestreams in recent years that are pretty damn long though, I've only watched a couple of them.

I have some shit to say about those.

[Mister Obvious]

[Well Airsoft P90 Review Part 2]



Whatever dedicated fan saved these videos and reuploaded them did the Lord's work.

God bless. Give that man a Klondike bar.

[Mister Obvious]

[It's About a Town That Burned Down or Something]



I've known like 2 people who are close to this level of naturally entertaining.

One of them is dead and the other one is old and may even be dead too by now.

[Mister Obvious]

[Sin City Hartigan Action Figure Review]

Uploaded: July 26, 2012

Pretty sure he's an alcoholic. Super funny people are usually depressed and struggle with addiction.

[Mister Obvious]

[Stuffed Sackboy Review]



Lmao I love the voices.

[Mister Obvious]

[TolstoyKafkaEvsky]

[Mister Obvious]

[Tamagotchi Review]



That Tama is probably worth at least $200 now.

[Mister Obvious]

[Donnie Darko Action Figure Review]

Uploaded: April 28, 2011

Description: This is probably the worst video I've ever done. But, I can't let that shame me into posting it. Not now, anyway.

[Mister Obvious]

[Mini Zen Garden Review]

Uploaded: May 7, 2011

Description: A miniature zen garden that is supposed balance my chi's and my chakara's... or some shit...

This is one of my faves.

[Mister Obvious]

[How Do You Sharpen A Knife?]

Uploaded: July 19, 2011

Description: This is a really touchy subject for me, considering how much I like blades, and how little I like to admit my own ignorance.

If even Tolstoy doesn't know how to sharpen a knife, I guess the rest of us are fucked.

[Mister Obvious]

Apparently it's actually kinda hard. I dunno, I just let other people do it for me.

I had this guy at a knife shop in Arizona try to give me a quick rundown of the process which involved spitting on the stone.

[Mister Obvious]

[Tiger Butane Lighter Review]

Uploaded: February 16, 2011

Description: A review of a Butane from China. It's a, supposedly, high quality lighter from a company called Tiger. It comes with a 5 year limited warranty and can be purchased from ebay, last time I checked.

[Mister Obvious]

[Possibly the Last Tolstream]



This is the most recent video from his channel, streamed January 12, 2022.

Yeah, he ain't coming back.

Anyway, homie ain't no sheeple, that's for damn sure.

He claimed TPTB were always trying to fuck with his livestreams even though he had an adequate internet connection, it always glitched and froze.

So after watching this, it's pretty clear that he either willingly walked away from the whole nine, or life just went into a long season of suck that apparently hasn't ended yet.

I can't imagine anybody with such an extensive internet history would actually be happy living somewhere for years on end that doesn't have internet service.

I mean where the fuck does such a place really even exist in this day and age in the US??



Probably more to the story, but whatevs.

He should return.