My wife just called and said she's fucking her boss right.

[Mark Cuckerberg]

I hope she gets a raise or a company car or something. We need the money.

[Mark Cuckerberg]

Thread title should say "right now." That'll learn me to post stupid jokes on a cellphone in the middle of the night. 

[Mister Obvious]

Learn how to use that thar smartphone, old man!!!

[Guest]

You got that silk teddy on yet, missy?

[Mister Obvious]

Why don’t you just want me naked? Why the pussy footing around? I’m not into foreplay.

[A23]

For real though, there are only two ways for a civilised man to deal with an unfaithful wife:

A) Ignore her indiscretions.

B) Divorce.

[Kitty Von Catsworth]

C) Watch while standing in the closet and stroking it.

[Guest]

Why don’t you just want me naked? Why the pussy footing around? I’m not into foreplay.

 This isn't about sex. It's about discipline. You don't like to be spanked on your bare ass. Just honoring your preferences. I'm a cruel master, but fair.

[Guest]

C) Watch while standing in the closet  and  stroking it.

[Guest]

what kinda gay shit is this, wait how big is her butt?