Posts: 79,958
Threads: 4,857
Joined: May 2016
He’s run away, over a year now, as a result of a mental/emotional breakdown due to intense trauma (finding out that his wife is terminally ill)...
He felt like he lost it all right then and he’s been trying to kill himself ever since.
This is the ugly truth.
Posts: 36
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2018
That's very sad. I mean I do not know him like you do, apparently but it seems as if he's preparing for when he's a single dad. I have followed Zane for a very long time & seen the hardship/heartache. I've dealt with similar personally so chalked it up to that. I seriously didn't realize he doesn't want to be seen, found, heard from, especially since he's a youtuber. I guess it seemed to me that he was needing assistance with setting up something new because he's on the road.
I do feel your frustration with him doing this. Probably not to the same extent but I do understand. It does seem strange the closer he gets the more availability he loses, YouTube/FB etc. I hope and pray he makes it or doesn't go at all!
Why are his kids not enough to live for? To try?
Posts: 36
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2018
(10-10-2018, 01:59 PM)Trix Wrote: He’s run away, over a year now, as a result of a mental/emotional breakdown due to intense trauma (finding out that his wife is terminally ill)...
He felt like he lost it all right then and he’s been trying to kill himself ever since.
This is the ugly truth.
This makes my heart hurt, those kids are going to lose their mom, the need their dad. I knew why he was "running" but didn't read that deap into it. Like I said I've followed him for about a year now and just the past 3 weeks got caught up with what he's been doing which has made an impact on me. I find myself worried & concerned about a complete stranger but maybe this is why. I'll definitely be praying for him & his family
Posts: 79,958
Threads: 4,857
Joined: May 2016
It is interesting how we can get so into someone's story, and the way they express themselves, and really fall in love with the beauty of it... and somehow forget the truth that is at the core of it. It happens to me about 75% of the time with Zane. Most of the time I don't consciously think about the reasons behind it all... I'm so into what he's doing, and so into him.
But there comes a point (it's happened several times on this thread) where all the pleasantries have to be stripped away and the true reasons behind what the hell he's doing HAVE to be called out and brought into the light.
And it makes me think of all the other people out there in the world, who are running from hurt and pain, but don't share their lives so openly. No one has the opportunity to know why they're doing what they're doing... they just continue to run and run and no one ever knows.
At least people know the reasoning behind Zane's actions.
Posts: 79,958
Threads: 4,857
Joined: May 2016
I can see how the idea of reconciling with his wife causes even more pain than just leaving things the way they are...
The idea of making peace again, only to have it stolen by death.
He was so devastated and obliterated by the idea of her inevitably dying, so untimely...
To reconcile and be together would be more pain and more ripping open of the same wounds again.
This is a deeply psychological situation and it takes a lot of understanding...
I essentially only feel compassion for Zane over his running and trying to keep the pain at bay.
A lot of people say that he's just an abandoner etc. and they don't have any deep understanding of the magnitude of Zane's pain...
If you look at it this way, it makes a lot of sense.
His wife, his family, it all became mortally threatened and he felt powerless against it... not an easy place for someone which such vitality and inherent personal power to be.
It's taken him out... and he's just running now until it's over.
We all want him to live, and sort through the pain, find reasons to hang around and stick with us all.
But it's his choice.
Posts: 79,958
Threads: 4,857
Joined: May 2016
(10-10-2018, 02:06 PM)Guest Wrote: Why are his kids not enough to live for? To try?
The relationship with his wife came first...
It's a popular idea that the kids are supposed to come first in peoples' hearts and minds, but...
For a man...
They can go and father a shitload of children, but women are the ones who have time constraints and their reproductive process is much more involved than a man's...
It takes a lot out of their lives. 9 months of pregnancy, their own bodies being sustenance for the child thereafter... etc.
It's the women who put the kids first, by nature...
Not saying the men don't or can't feel this way...
But there is a lot of science based reasoning to make sense of why they don't.
Posts: 36
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2018
(10-10-2018, 02:20 PM)Trix Wrote: It is interesting how we can get so into someone's story, and the way they express themselves, and really fall in love with the beauty of it... and somehow forget the truth that is at the core of it. It happens to me about 75% of the time with Zane. Most of the time I don't consciously think about the reasons behind it all... I'm so into what he's doing, and so into him.
But there comes a point (it's happened several times on this thread) where all the pleasantries have to be stripped away and the true reasons behind what the hell he's doing HAVE to be called out and brought into the light.
And it makes me think of all the other people out there in the world, who are running from hurt and pain, but don't share their lives so openly. No one has the opportunity to know why they're doing what they're doing... they just continue to run and run and no one ever knows.
At least people know the reasoning behind Zane's actions. I did read your whole thread, well most of it. I've honestly never got sucked into someone's story like I have Zane's. I don't even really watch stuff on YT. I came across him researching the Slabs & just got so caught up in him. Benge watching numerous videos of his to get caught up really is what drew me to seeing more than just a guy making YT videos. I know so many people personally running from shit and I can't understand it. I'm a single mom of 2 kids, now 18 & 17 but when they were 7 & 8 their Dad chose meth over us and that was the end of that. Idk how he's still alive. Mental Illness is very serious & of course everyone handles it different but as many times as I've wanted to give up, I never could, because of my kids. I hear/feel your pain in your words. Zane obviously means a lot to you and I am sorry your having to feel this. See, I don't know you and now just after a few conversations, your pain is on my heart & I will continue to be concerned with you. A stranger. It is crazy how vested we can become with complete strangers & now I want to be your friend lol
Posts: 36
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2018
Trix, everything you have said so far, I couldn't agree more. You hit the nail on the head! Women are more acceptable when it comes to the kids, it is Science and reconciling would push him over for sure the day, "that day" comes with his wife. I don't judge Zane for any of his actions/reactions & him numbing the pain isn't abnormal, most of us do it one way or another. You have made it all make sense.
Posts: 79,958
Threads: 4,857
Joined: May 2016
Thanks, Angel, I value your insights about the kids as someone who has children. I personally don't have any kids, and I've been told because of that I don't have any place sharing my opinion about how people deal with their kids! But I think it's all a matter of psychology. I think I can make some pretty good guesses about people's behavior judging from a psychological standpoint.
Coming across Zane has taught me a lot...
As you know, it started off in harsh judgement of Zane, and then it went through a lot of transformations...
I've come out the other side feeling a lot of love for him, and understanding a lot of things about people in general that I just never got before.
I really appreciate Zane for that. But I also just want him to be healthy... he's special.
He doesn’t love me. He chooses to hurt me in any ways he can think of. He’s not thinking about me or the kids. It’s selfish to the core. A real man would have made sure we didn’t lose our badass med insurance, our house, our car. He would come with me to chemo and take care of me until I die. Not leave me and our kids alone in all this. And he is NOT giving me any money now.
Posts: 36
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2018
(10-10-2018, 03:09 PM)Trix Wrote: Thanks, Angel, I value your insights about the kids as someone who has children. I personally don't have any kids, and I've been told because of that I don't have any place sharing my opinion about how people deal with their kids! But I think it's all a matter of psychology. I think I can make some pretty good guesses about people's behavior judging from a psychological standpoint.
Coming across Zane has taught me a lot...
As you know, it started off in harsh judgement of Zane, and then it went through a lot of transformations...
I've come out the other side feeling a lot of love for him, and understanding a lot of things about people in general that I just never got before.
I really appreciate Zane for that. But I also just want him to be healthy... he's special.
You never know hun, you could be his saving grace. He seems to think the world of you. I see the special in him & I think those that truly care about Zane want to see the same thing, him healthy. I've watched some of your videos & have no clue how old you are, you look young, regardless you have an interesting mind, one you wouldn't or usually don't see on the young. Your thought process on previous topics is interesting & respected, by me. I don't know where to check to keep posted if he's okay which is my main concern. I honestly don't even know what this website is that I'm on now lol I'm on FB, I follow you on YT, my phone # is [redacted for privacy]. Fuck smoke singles something, I just don't want to continue wondering if he's okay. If you could just keep me updated/posted. I am sure you have 1000000 of friends but if you ever wana talk to someone without judgment, feel free to contact me. Who knows, maybe someday we will all be hanging out or we may have to go rescue Zane lol ✌&?
Posts: 36
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2018
(10-10-2018, 03:13 PM)Guest Wrote: He doesn’t love me. He chooses to hurt me in any ways he can think of. He’s not thinking about me or the kids. It’s selfish to the core. A real man would have made sure we didn’t lose our badass med insurance, our house, our car. He would come with me to chemo and take care of me until I die. Not leave me and our kids alone in all this. And he is NOT giving me any money now.
You must be wifey. I admire your strength as a woman & mother.
Posts: 79,958
Threads: 4,857
Joined: May 2016
(10-10-2018, 03:38 PM)Angelsimplepleasures Wrote: You never know hun, you could be his saving grace. He seems to think the world of you.
Everyone has to save themselves, at the end of the day. We can be inspired by others... but no one can save us. I've tried to inspire Zane in a variety of ways, tis all I can do.
(10-10-2018, 03:38 PM)Angelsimplepleasures Wrote: I don't know where to check to keep posted if he's okay which is my main concern.
This is a good source for that purpose right now... he doesn't seem to have any other social media to update. Currently he says he's locked out of Facebook and of course, YouTube. If he doesn't check in here, then I have no idea how else we'll hear about him. Unless someone posts info elsewhere and then posts it here. I don't have Facebook so I don't receive any type of info or follow anybody from there.
(10-10-2018, 03:38 PM)Angelsimplepleasures Wrote: I honestly don't even know what this website is that I'm on now lol I'm on FB, I follow you on YT, my phone # is [redacted for privacy].
This is my personal website, it's a message board. I started this thread here about Zane and he eventually found it and thought it was pretty funny (some of my more scathing remarks in the beginning) and that's why he's mentioned it and linked to it in his videos. BTW, I took down your phone number and edited it out for your privacy. No personally identifying information is allowed on the board, but thank you for that, and I really appreciate your outreach. You seem like a wonderful person.
(10-10-2018, 03:38 PM)Angelsimplepleasures Wrote: Who knows, maybe someday we will all be hanging out or we may have to go rescue Zane lol
Most certainly he has plenty of people who would be more than willing to do so, anytime he asked.
Posts: 79,958
Threads: 4,857
Joined: May 2016
(10-10-2018, 03:42 PM)Angelsimplepleasures Wrote: You must be wifey. I admire your strength as a woman & mother.
Well said...
So do I...
I just wish she would acknowledge that Zane is totally traumatized and is running because of fear and pain...
He doesn't know what else to do or how to handle it.
Of course you can say the way he's chosen to handle it sucks...
I'm not saying it's preferable, or good, or even acceptable.
I'm just saying, understand why he's doing it and what it feels like from his perspective...
He's really not having fun. He's just deeply hurt and trying to alleviate the pain.
In ways that will undoubtedly eventually kill him, and I don't think he cares.
And this is why he doesn't care.
Posts: 36
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2018
Gotchya & thanks for removing my phone # lol and you couldn't be more right, everyone is accountable for themselves and at the end of the day we have to want things. Advise & Insight is just that, until a person wants different, nothing will change. I can see wifeys point of view feeling abandoned because I've been there but I'm different when it comes to that shit, I have an open mind and think of others before myself. I just pray to God, she does not bad mouth Zane to those kiddos, as someome who grew up hearing bad shit about my dad, it effects kids horribly. My family tried to pull that shit with my X husband & I put an immediate stop to it. In the moment as a parent you go through 100s of different emotions, emotions kids do not comprehend. Prayers all around for the whole situation. I'm glad Zane has you.
Posts: 79,958
Threads: 4,857
Joined: May 2016
(10-10-2018, 04:08 PM)Angelsimplepleasures Wrote: In the moment as a parent you go through 100s of different emotions, emotions kids do not comprehend.
So true...
That's what I can only imagine must be so difficult about being a parent. It's not a job for the weak, that's for sure...
Nobody is a saint. To navigate all these hardships and not make mistakes is totally impossible.
(10-10-2018, 04:08 PM)Angelsimplepleasures Wrote: Prayers all around for the whole situation. I'm glad Zane has you.
I'm glad that we have Zane... he is an excellent display of energy and freedom. And we've all been there for him whether it's the viewers who come and help him in out in real life, or those who show their support by continuing to follow his story from afar.
He's been blessed... it can't all be for nothing.
Posts: 36
Threads: 0
Joined: Sep 2018
(10-10-2018, 03:59 PM)Trix Wrote: Well said...
So do I...
I just wish she would acknowledge that Zane is totally traumatized and is running because of fear and pain...
He doesn't know what else to do or how to handle it.
Of course you can say the way he's chosen to handle it sucks...
I'm not saying it's preferable, or good, or even acceptable.
I'm just saying, understand why he's doing it and what it feels like from his perspective...
He's really not having fun. He's just deeply hurt and trying to alleviate the pain.
In ways that will undoubtedly eventually kill him, and I don't think he cares.
And this is why he doesn't care I honestly don't understand how SHE can not see Zane's side of things. She seems to be filled up with bitter & hate. I'm not saying what Zane did is right but she had to of known how he handles heartache, pain. I don't want to be mean to anyone but she's making her own life unhappy over Zane leaving. Just like we all chose how we handle & react. I personally would be focusing on my kids, not what my husband did or didn't do...that's me though
Of course I’ve acknowledged his fear and pain. You conviently choose not to post those ones. I’m Gemini of course I can see and understand why all this is happening. But at the end of the day he’s still not sober or a suitable parent for me to feel relief that he will be able to care for them properly when I die. Zane does what he wants to do. Always has, always will. And for the most part I was able to come along for the ride. But now I need him. It can’t always be just about him, throws balance off. I need love and support right now and I get hate and anger. And the thought that the last 13 years of my life wasn’t real, that he didn’t love me because I’m not his twin soul or whatever. Kinda stings I’ll admit. Which I’m sure is his intended purpose.
(10-10-2018, 04:20 PM)Angelsimplepleasures Wrote: I honestly don't understand how SHE can not see Zane's side of things. She seems to be filled up with bitter & hate. I'm not saying what Zane did is right but she had to of known how he handles heartache, pain. I don't want to be mean to anyone but she's making her own life unhappy over Zane leaving. Just like we all chose how we handle & react. I personally would be focusing on my kids, not what my husband did or didn't do...that's me though
You know nothing Jon Snow.
|