0:01 there ya go, all eyes on Zane cuz he's the star of the fuckin' show.
Even with the editing, the awkward silence between them is still fucking horrible and grating.
It's usually a nails on a chalkboard kinda sound that you'd call "grating"... I've never felt like silence was "grating" before, but I guess you learn something new every day.
It just makes me cringe harder than hard whenever she introduces the channel. Ugh, my God.
Zane should be taking the reigns on the whole nine yards and doing all the talking...
If it's left up to her, everyone is just gonna be fucking totally repulsed by her fake overly try-hard tone...
Zane is the interesting and charismatic one, I can't fathom why in the actual fuck he's letting her take "control" of this (LMAO) and just totally bowing to her as if she's worthy of that or something.
Does he ACTUALLY want this channel to succeed or not??
Get CLOSER to the FUCKING CAMERA Zane, nobody can fucking SEE YOU. What the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?
0:12 like the way he's looking at her while she's talking is SOOO weird like the way he's half giggling...
It's like he's not ACTUALLY listening to her and isn't ACTUALLY tuned in (who would wanna be) and can't place the reactions properly because of that.
My suggestion? Don't even try to. Quick, get the fuck up to Alaska and get your ass on a fishing rig.
0:28 way to summarize the shit out of that...
See this is what happens with people man, this is how IT HAPPENS.
You don't KNOW peoples' STORY, you only know what THEY SHARE.
These two fuckers, on this brand new channel, if you never fucking knew the story...
YOU'D HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA of the legendary, fucking amazing, straight up awe inspiring history of Zane.
YOU'D NEVER KNOW.
And... BTW. You'd never be interested to see more either, because there's nothing here worth sticking around for.
I mean you can KINDA tell Zane is hot, but the camera is too far away from him, I guess in an attempt to share the lens with her (total mistake).
Like I said, she's not ugly but she's nothing to stick around for...
Zane is the only prayer of having anyone interested in this channel as far as noobs go.
Anyone left still watching Zane is only watching because they KNOW his story.
Without that history, there's gonna be absolutely no reason to stick around based on what these two are bringing to the table so far.
So yeah...
Zane, wear some more fashionable clothes hon. Show a lil more skin. Get the camera a lil closer to your face. Maybe show Priss's face at a downward angle SOMETIMES. That sort of 'POV/seconds before the cumshot' kinda angle works best on her.
0:36 Zane... sweet Lord in heaven. Hon. What the actual complete and total fuck happened to you? Does she have you on anti-depressants?? Are you fucking OKAY??
0:57 LOL at that forehead rub... we fuckin' hear ya, Zane, we fuckin' hear ya buddy. That's how we feel too.
Hey listen...
If you have a plan, which I'm REALLY starting to doubt...
My God... it better be the best one you've ever fucking had because you have a lot of making up to do for this shit.
Zane looks like he's got a lil gut on him now, and while it's better than looking like a meth addict, it does signal a touch of depression. That's what Zane starts to look like once he's been living a less than satisfying domesticated life for too long.
1:31 what?? Excuse you?? WHAT?? WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? This is not Zane. Where is Zane. WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM, WHERE IS HE. NO. NO!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!
*kicking, screaming*
I mean if you go full screen which most people can't do cuz they're probably watching this shit on a mobile device, you can see that Zane is super good looking and has really pretty eyes. But the sun is blocking out like 1/4 of his face in this shot. I mean holy fuck you guys... what the fuck. Do better. Do fucking better.
It's even blocking his smile which is fucking gay and lame, oh my God. So Zane's most attractive qualities, face, smile, etc., they're all GLOSSED OVER in this fucking intro video, all we can really see without obstruction is Priss... fail. Are you ever gonna have the camera in your fucking face again Zane?? Do better. Do fucking better.
1:50 ugh, my God. You're not cute together... you really aren't. Your girlfriend is annoying, hon. It's not endearing, it's not sweet. It just looks like you're both hiding something and it's gonna rub people the wrong way. Furthermore? There's nothing you can do to change it.
Grow your hair out a lil bit Zane... that or you better start wearing more flattering shirts and show some fucking skin. Get with the fucking program.
2:18 I feel like... Zane is just thinking about something else whenever she's talking. Which is good, escape honey, just escape in your mind and someday you'll be free.
2:20 I meeean, kinda fucking hot how he's staring right at the camera right now, at least he's eye-fucking us a little bit because God knows nobody's listening to Priss or gives a fuck what she's saying at all.
Make it worth it for us, Zane, make it worth it for us.
I wonder what Zane is gonna say about his own life once this attention deprived body builder bitch gets done blathering on about hers.
I'm expecting it to be absolutely understated and totally sanitized.
2:25 "I've always wanted to get away" LMFAOOO look at how Zane reacts to that, look at his eyeballs. ROFL, he can totally empathize with the feeling of wanting to GET AWAY, geez, wonder why.
2:29 you should really look at her less Zane, when you do it fucking scrambles her brain and makes her even less able to communicate her point in an acceptible timeframe. I mean nobody's saying Priss is legit retarded, she obviously isn't, she's not "SLOW"... but she IS a Taurus, and yes that IS her ENTIRE fucking problem. Ugh. God. In a relationship with your opposite sign... why do you always feel the need to punish yourself in life on every level Zane??
2:36 LMFAOOOOOOOOOO the MUSIC BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Bwahahahaha.
2:47 oh my God.
What the fuck kind of sick shit is truly going on here?
4:15 "stealth camping" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
See his eyes light up there...
Zane's eyes never lie.
He can't hide.
He can lie, but the eyes don't.
He couldn't control that even if he wanted to.
5:30 wow, that's disturbing. For once Priss said something interesting and valid... but of course not even from a standpoint of having ANY concept what the fuck she's actually giving away by saying it.
And Zane's response to her statement... disappointing to say the least. The most beautiful part? Really Zane? What's next, "Dumpster diving is beautiful" ... "Well it smells okay" ... "This bush isn't as prickly as it could be, come on I'll sleep on the bottom" ... "Meth is for winners, are you a winner or not?"
6:00 I just feel like these two are mismatched. They just don't go together. If Zane is trying to get views from dudes, then he should still be feeding himself to the camera, not her. She's fine, like maybe if she had her own shooting channel like she was originally gonna do, she'd have an audience who likes her. But put her and Zane together... and it's just absolutely dumb as fuck for anyone besides Zane to take the spotlight, take 80% of the lens, and do 80% of the talking.
She needs to do her own thing if she really wants to be on YouTube... just do it and get the fuck out of Zane's lens.
6:56 ugh God, how annoying. I would never want to be with a woman like that.
7:37...
K, good talk, I'm outta here.