"Gunsmoke" (1955) - Review & Commentary
(04-28-2022, 01:14 AM)Chatwoman Wrote: I've never been a snob into tall dudes, but I think I'm horny now.

Okay it's gone.

Bahahahaa. You are so effing adorable. 

(04-28-2022, 01:14 AM)Chatwoman Wrote: I can tell this show is gonna make me cry like a bitch at some point.

The very first time I ever cried while watching a tv show was during an episode of Gunsmoke.
This morning after sunrise was well underway, I was awakened by a strange sound, probably an animal outside.

But right as I woke up, I realized I had been dreaming about GUNSMOKE.

Specifically I was looking at Marshal Matt Dillon from about the lower chest up, mostly focusing on his face.

As I studied him, there was a male voice in the background reciting statistics and other factoids about Gunsmoke viewers.

They were VERY specific statistics too, and they were divided by "male" and "female"...

I can't remember an exact example but it was something like, "15% of men who watch Gunsmoke do so while eating bacon," or "36% of women who watch Gunsmoke do so with rollers in their hair."

Very strange, but it was pleasant. And it was one of those dreams you would have NEVER known you even had, if you hadn't been woken up by a random twist of fate!
Guess what?



It's the 65th Anniversary (2020) Edition box set of every episode (and special commercials) of Gunsmoke, ever.

All 635 episodes on 143 DVDs.

That's right...

I get to start from EPISODE ONE, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So a quick product review...

First of all let me just say, this box set was made with a lot of love and care.

I don't think it could have been designed better, they did their level best.

The packaging is very nice, it's gotta be one of the biggest box sets ever.

I would say this box set was a quality control nightmare, and I commend every person who put these sets together one by one.

I want these DVDs to be protected and last FOREVER, so I got a 160 capacity semi-hard shell CD storage case, which worked absolutely beautifully for this purpose.

I checked every single DVD and made sure it played as I was unpackaging the boxset and putting the DVDs into their cushy new home.

Every DVD was in fine working order, there were no duplicates, there were none missing. Other than a few discs that had gotten free inside the case, there was nothing out of sorts.

There was ONE disc that had strange dirty areas on the label side, and I spotted a huge finger print on the reverse side of one other disc. Other than that, they were flawless.

Sooo many DVDs. Insane. It's an absolutely massive show and I do legitimately wonder if there's ever been a larger box set ever made.

The one thing I'd have to suggest is to release future box sets in one of these semi-hard shell zipper cases straight away instead of in the hard plastic cases that are customary for DVDs. It's VERY nerve wracking to remove each of the DVDs from the original case, and I recommend grabbing the DVD on each end so that you put balanced forced on the whole thing rather than from one side only... one of those discs could very easily crack otherwise. None of mine did though, I took my time and was very careful. But I'm relieved to have the separate sleeve/holder bag so I never have to put those precious DVDs through that strain again.

What a wonderful box set, I'm not kidding, I am absolutely over the moon about this.

The box set is the ONLY way to watch the ENTIRE series, as it stands at the time of writing.

Even if it were to be available in whole on a streaming service... I am just not a fan of depending on services, and "the cloud" and all these other third parties in order to be able to watch my favorite content.

I want to OWN it.

I believe that this box set is absolutely a worthy purchase for any Gunsmoke fan.

I tried not to like the show... LOL, I tried to find fault with it, I tried not to enjoy every episode I randomly selected. I tried not to fall down the rabbit hole, but I just couldn't avoid it. I fell in love with Gunsmoke...

And it's fucking on.

So begins my journey through this legendary show.

This evening, I begin from episode one.

There will be no commercials. There will be no streaming. There will be no buffering. There will be no unwanted interruptions.

What lies ahead in this journey is pure pleasure, many laughs to be had, tears to be shed over poignant plotlines...

And lots of drooling to be done over the sexy cowboy men and wild western ladies that I'm about to have the honor of laying eyes on.

As I was checking each and every DVD, I noted a few things...

The thing I was most excited about was that legendary first color episode. When I got to it in season 12, I was amazed. It was far more beautiful than I expected it to be.

I noticed that the characters looked like an 1800s photograph come to life. It's not only in color, but it's in some of the most beautiful, warm, vivid coloring I've ever seen.

The red hair is luscious, the blue eyes are piercing, and the sets and scenery look like they truly are right out of the late 19th century. "Impressive" doesn't even begin to describe the quality of this show on every level.

The sound and picture quality of the DVDs is excellent, the captions seem to be very satisfactory to my snobbish expectations from what I've seen so far...

All in all, I couldn't be more pleased and excited to begin this journey that I will attempt to document here on this thread the whole way through.

I can't promise I'll commentate on EVERY single episode, but I will make note in this thread of each one I've watched so that I can keep my place.
When I come to any episode I watched during the Pluto TV days, I will fix the timestamps on those original posts and then link to them on the new post.

I watched a wildcard episode lastnight that I didn't commentate on or mention... when I get to that one, I'll point it out.

If any Gunsmoke fans ever find this thread, I want you to know I feel our kinship. You may dislike my verbiage and you may not agree with the things I say, but we're family. Bottom line.
(04-29-2022, 07:44 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: I watched a wildcard episode lastnight that I didn't commentate on or mention...

The reason for that was because of the late hour.

Commentating is a very pleasurable experience for me (extreme) but it does take me longer to watch an episode if I'm pausing to type. Sometimes I sacrifice commentary for the enjoyment of watching just one more episode before I call it a day.

I'll try to leave at least a few thoughts about every episode I watch though... sometimes I don't have all that much to say.
I'm about to watch the very first episode over a righteous dinner...

And so it begins.
(04-29-2022, 07:47 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: I'm about to watch the very first episode over a righteous dinner...

And so it begins.

What the fuck is for fucking dinner?
S1 E1 - "Matt Gets It"

0:05 holy freakin' crap, it's JOHN WAYNE@!!!!! I heard he turned down the role of the Marshal, but recommended James Arness for it. And damn was he ever right... Arness was beyond perfect for the role. THANK YOU, JOHN WAYNE. You did the world a great service!!!

0:20 "A new television show called Gunsmoke." Wowwww, this intro by John Wayne is amazing. I am so freaking enraptured in my heart and soul right now. This is incredible.

1:50 OMG he looks so young... he spent 20 years of his life on this show. How amazing is that? That's a huge deal.

3:10 "A man deals crooked cards to me, don't matter how hard he dies."

3:38 [uplifting theme playing] lol.

I'm eating burritos... so good. And messy, lmao.

5:18 I absolutely love James Arness's voice... it's so recognizable and iconic. It's very pleasant to me.

7:18 good Lord, Arness is a sexy man... I mean he's laying it on THICK in this first episode. It'll be interesting see how they develop their characters and how they change over the years.

8:10 OMG... I think we're about to meet Miss Kitty for the first time! *heart eyes*

9:00 so they're making the sweetheart connection between Kitty and Matt very apparent right off the bat, but in such a gentle, respectable, lovely kinda way.

13:25 ah shit man... looks like this guy is Matt's problem now!!!

14:55 well this isn't going well at all... lmao. WHAT THE FUCK!? Lol this is probably the closest Marshal Dillon ever comes to death in the entire damn series, lol!!!!!!!

16:58 Chester is damn good looking. And I know it's a little premature to mention him, but I think Festus is good looking too... I think he's my favorite non-Marshal Dillon character!!!

17:12 good Lord, look at this big tall drink of somethin' else just lying out like that, undressed and kinda sweaty... I think Kitty and Matt were the fail-safe eye candy on this show, how could you not be into them?

20:10 I'm sorry but they really should be able to just straight up kill that guy. Wasn't there a "He needed killin'!" law in the old west, or was that just for Texas??

I forgot the early episodes were only 30 minute slots... this one's damn near over!

25:15 that was the most unique gunfight I've ever seen in any movie or show.

That episode went by FAST... I'm glad they started making them longer.
(04-29-2022, 07:53 PM)ThE fEcKin EeJiT Wrote: What the fuck is for fucking dinner?

Messiest burritos I've ever had in my friggen life!!!
(04-29-2022, 08:34 PM)Chatwoman Wrote: Messiest burritos I've ever had in my friggen life!!!

I make taco bowls what is the ingredients?
Not stalking you mate just always looking for different recipes.
I run out of ideas :(
I think MO went on a date but she didn't eat dates.
Prunes have low fibre and high sugar.
If your shit is pale when you ate high iron foods it means you absorbed it.
S1 E2 - "Hot Spell"

0:25 OMG those pants, those boots... so sexy. In this scene he's walking through the famed Dodge City Boot Hill Cemetery... I'm sooo in love with wild west culture.

1:40 even his teeth are sexy.

2:02 uh oh, this is lookin' like a hangin' situation!!!!!!!

3:35 "Look at how low he wears his holster." Lolol.

6:28 lol, I always expect a damn commercial break when the screen fades to black. I'm so glad there aren't any.

7:40 "You gonna introduce us?" ... "Nope." ROFLMFAOFFLOLOL!@!#@$#$!

11:20 lol I love how they're just staring off with a faraway gaze during this dialogue, it's so CLASSIC western.

12:22 if Marshal Dillon had handed me a piece of paper, I'd sleep with it under my pillow for the rest of my life!!!!!!!

12:55 "Nothing I can't handle, *glances down*"... I think he was flirting with Matt.

13:33 the acting is SO GOOD. They're so natural, it's so flawless.

14:57 damn he looks so good standing next to Miss Kitty... they're sooo sexy. Both of them.

15:48 dude... this is the second episode and the second time a card dealer's been killed, lmao. Sounds like that was a dangerous fucking profession back in the day?!

22:35 YOWZA BAYYYYBEEEEE. I didn't expect him to do that. This show surprises me all the time. It has a certain unpredictable quality to it.

24:10 "Get outta Dodge." It never gets old, it just doesn't.
(04-29-2022, 08:49 PM)ThE fEcKin EeJiT Wrote: I make taco bowls what is the ingredients?
Not stalking you mate just always looking for different recipes.
I run out of ideas :(

I'm not discussing specifics, but I'll say this...

Challenge yourself to simplicity, Fung.

Simplicity. Making more with less, making plain stuff more flavorful.

Take little, and do the most with it.

It's a philosophy...

One end of a spectrum when it comes to the alchemical process of cooking.

You get it...

I can tell you get it.
You are fucking amazing, Chatwoman. Your post regarding the boxed set and how you handled each disk and what you did to preserve them, and the way you write in voice so we can feel the passion and care and sense of humor and sense of wonder and commitment and not ever being half assed yet making it look so easy. You are truly the actual definition of "an original". One in 8 billion. You don't have to respond to this effusiveness. No thread derail, here. You know how I be gettin. I just need to get it off my chest. I'm feeling it! I love this so much. I love you.
S1 E3 - "Word Of Honor"

0:28 at the beginning of all these first episodes he's always walking around the Boot Hill graveyard, lmfaololol!!! What on Earth??

This show was made for me. It's magical. Damn straight downright magical.

1:07 so this is the third episode and they're still introducing his character (via monologue) at the beginning... I guess they did this for new viewers and just in case anybody missed the other beginning episodes.

These openers at Boot Hill are in my top favorite things about Gunsmoke so far.

2:10 this hotstuff feller is Claude Akins, he's been in a lot of shows from back in this era, mega sexy.

6:00 Doc is pretty good lookin' too, hell they're all good lookin'!!!!!!!!

12:46 man this episode is pretty hardcore. But one qualm I gotta admit I have with it is the way they posed his body under the tree. He'd have been way too stiff to get the knees to bend like that.

19:50 Chester is pretty ballsy... they're both deliciously brave, real men.

22:10 "You and I sit here and glare at each other's mongoloidian features!" Roflmfaolol.

23:18 lmao well that was fast!
(04-29-2022, 10:11 PM)Atma Wrote: You are fucking amazing, Chatwoman. Your post regarding the boxed set and how you handled each disk and what you did to preserve them, and the way you write in voice so we can feel the passion and care and sense of humor and sense of wonder and commitment and not ever being half assed yet making it look so easy. You are truly the actual definition of "an original". One in 8 billion. You don't have to respond to this effusiveness. No thread derail, here. You know how I be gettin. I just need to get it off my chest. I'm feeling it! I love this so much. I love you.

Thank you Atma, this whole Gunsmoke chapter of my life is a leisure of love! Definitely not a labor! I have devoted myself long term, for the foreseeable future... Gunsmoke will be most of the content I take in. I've decided to give up watching anything else for the most part... taking this show in to my heart and soul will be downright medicinal. It's going bathe my mind in its wholesomeness and teach me things I didn't know before. I've already learned so much and it hasn't even been that long!
It's incredible how much care went into its production. It's unusual to find a show so well-executed from so long ago. They say "they don't make them like they used to", but generally speaking that's totally false. We blow the christ out of what it "used to" be. However, every once in a while there is something that is so well executed and so brilliantly realized that it becomes timeless; a classic. This is one of those rare accomplishments. Even the title is amazing.
S1 E4 - "Home Surgery"

0:40 I love how these sexyass dudes of the wild west just sleep out on the ground, underneath the stars. They're so tough.

1:30 HAH, I KNEW it was gonna be a lady!!!

1:50 oh she's a creepy lookin' little shit.

4:50 "Shoot the first calf you see... anybody's calf." Man that's intense, yo! THAT'S HOW IT WAS IN THOSE DAYS! You grew your own food and you shot your own food!

5:06 [mellow theme playing] lol.

5:43 [melancholy guitar theme playing] lmao, God I love this!!!

10:00 oh Lord are they really gonna go there?

11:20 how the fuck is he gonna do it!?

11:30 dude this is CRAY. God I just fall deeper and deeper into LIKE with Marshal Dillon every episode!!! I mean he's got grit, incredible good looks, respectability... what more could a girl ever dream of!?

11:35 Chester better not wimp out though.

12:08 man I can't wait to get to the color episodes, this set looks so gorgeous, that picture frame is amazing, and the window. Just wow.

12:58 aha, alcohol. I was wondering when the hell that was gonna come into play. I think I need to replenish my brandy and vodka stocks. This whole thing's makin' me feel like I ain't got enough around!!!

17:00 damn, Marshal Dillon is tougher than nails. Okay. I think I might love him.

19:05 yeah, you heard that right, ya fuckin' wannabe tryin'a be a man!!! You're standing in the presence of none other than Marshal Matt Dillon, THE REALEST MAN EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22:30 FINALLY Matt's taking one of these random prairie bitches back to Dodge with him to start 'em off right in life!!! I've been waiting for this moment!!! She'll do just fine at the Long Branch!!! *dancing banana*

24:16 "I know what I can do." Oh baby I know what you can do too!!!

So hot.

Lmao I love how there were random rocking chairs just thrown in the back. Lucky bitch is going to Dodge City baby ;)
S1 E5 - "Obie Tater"

Well the name of this one is slightly perplexing, but let's see what it's about. If that's a name, they've got the baddest surname ever... I think I might adopt it. I always did love the sound of "Tater" as a name.

0:20 [banjo plays mellow theme] lol.

1:55 what're these, a couple of bad dudes? This nice feller shouldn't be fucked with.

4:00 oh these guys are going to hell for sure!!!

4:50 this Obie dude's pretty damn hot, TBH.

6:08 now... call me a perfectionist but these captions are anything but perfect and I really believe they should have done better. I'ma just say it. They're like incomplete in places, written with what seems like shorthand but it's really not shorthand, it just seems like they were trying to get through all 635 episodes as fast as they could. I think they should have kept it up to more rigorous standards, but it's not like most people watch things with the captions on just for the hell of it. Is it better than nothing? Fucking absolutely. Is it up to my standards? No. Am I turning them off? Man hell no.

6:15 it's not that you aren't smart, Obie, it's just that you're a good person.

8:00 ooo damn, lookit those fine ladies!!!

8:58 [romantic theme playing]

9:10 "She's only been banged by about 20 dudes so far!" lmfaolol, I had to. I had to.

10:05 lmfao I agree with Miss Kitty, this is hard to listen to.

11:10 awwwe, that is so sweet.

11:40 shit I think this Ella chick knows a good man when she sees one, I think she's legit smitten. She ain't been one of them thar bar broads for long enough to be world weary yet! She could still fall in love with a man!

12:10 look at those playing cards just laid out in front of Miss Kitty. God I'm so in love.

12:32 it seems like Matt suspects her of something. Maybe I was wrong about her. Man, she really had me!?

12:42 [upbeat western theme playing] lol I love that they stress the point that it's a WESTERN theme. At first it's like, yeah what other kind would it be? But when you remember that these are captions presumably for the hard of hearing or maybe even basically deaf, it makes sense. For any hearing impaired people who may have watched westerns when they were younger and could hear, that clarification evokes a strong sense of memory and conveys the atmosphere of the scene really well.

14:20 oh Lord, maybe he's right. Maybe she really is involved with those men.

15:08 ah man that'd be a tough pill to swallow, but you'd better bet he's right. Agh, I can't believe I didn't pick up on that. They had me fooled!!! What a great show!!!

15:15 damn, maybe he really is dumb though. I'm starting to think maybe so!!! They should probably just say fuck that guy.

16:58 oh man... it's clear at this point that she's totally evil. What a bummer. They've probably done already killed that poor old Tater!

18:05 so this prompts me to discuss that earlier today I got curious about what in the heck a marshal even is. So basically, a sheriff is a county based jurisdiction top dog lawman, and a marshal is a fed based top dog lawman who has unlimited jurisdiction nationwide.

20:25 see, he ain't dumb.

21:08 "NO!" Roflmfaololol, even this evil Ella bitch is protective over than fineass piece of Marshal manmeat.

23:00 she's definitely about to get pistol whipped.

24:18 DO WHAT!!?!?

24:36 I meeeean... whatever, at the end of the day it ain't nobody's fucking business if he's rich with gold anyways. That's his fucking private business and he didn't owe that info to anyone... he shouldn't feel bad about it.


Lookit that fineass hunk of man.
S1 E6 - "Night Incident"

0:36 oh my God dude, what in the fuck is going on here??

1:35 weren't no air conditionin' back in those days!!!

2:58 what the hell is this, a halloween episode or something? Aha...

Quote:Air date: October 29, 1955

Lol :)

3:30 "He thinks you're the greatest man in the world." Well, I mean, he's right.

8:28 I'm glad he changed his mind, there probably really are some creepsters out there in the woods killin' people!!!

10:00 the game?? What're they gonna do, start remote viewing?? Lol.

14:20 this is another example of the amazing dialogue in this show... it's almost poetic in a way. I love it so much.

16:30 I love the scenes where he's striking a certain kinda look...


18:55 oh this oughta be entertaining.

19:30 the horses are pretty good actors too.

23:00 damn dude, that's a way deeper story than I was figuring on.

Well that was disc 1 of 143!?


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